RHOBH Preview Part II: Yoda Still Dealing With Daughter’s SHAME!

 

I'M A MODEL... I'M A MODEL... I'M A MODEL.  THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER TELLS ME.

I’M A MODEL… I’M A MODEL… I’M A MODEL. THAT’S WHAT MY MOTHER TELLS ME.

“Jello is still dealing with the shame of getting a DUI”

No, YodaHead… Jello is NOT dealing with the shame.   YOU are.

Jello is no more model material than CrooksAyers; but, Yoda is dead set on forcing her kid to follow the path of her older non-model sister, Alana.  Jello is now ready to be formed by her nervous mother… into whatever her mother wants her to be!   Yoda is holding Jello’s “bad mistake” over her head and because she’s under age at 17-years-old, she is tightly under Yoda’s thumb and must obey!

Yoda is so extreme in this preview that she holds Jello while walking her to the photo shoot with BeverlyHillsMagazine… which OCLydia must have sold to this guy to sell mattresses.

Yoda also explains how her strict punishment has affected Jello.  Jello is REALLY feeling the wrath of Yoda after she took her phone away for 21 DAYS!!  And, the REALLY painful punishment doled out to Jello?  Jello has to pay her attorney… from her SAVINGS!!  OUCH!

The second segment of this RHOBH preview is more of the DrunkOtis/PumpMyStomach sit down.

Yoda Still Forcing Jello To Be A Model!

Yoda does not give up!!  She is determined to make her drunk-driving daughter a MODEL!

“So proud of my baby Bella for being on the list of “Rising Model Stars” to watch in 2015 by @VoqueMagazine @imgmodels #WorkingGirl #KeepReaching4DStarsMyLove”

If Yoda was not their mother, neither one of her kids would be “models”!  Jello is not enjoying herself at all…  her “modeling” photos look painful and sad.

yoda jello model

 

NOTE:  There’s really nothing more ugly than watching a mother force her kid into obvious unhappiness.

(Thanks “cmhr”!!)

RHOBH Preview: DrunkOtis Throws A Party… PumpMyStomach Shows Up

yoda mystery guy

In this RHOBH preview, DrunkOtis has a party… with NO Fatburger stand!!!

All of her friends and family show up… and Leeeeeeeeeeeza Gibbons thinks DrunkOtis with the bad hair extentions has “fans.”  HagfaceKyle shows off her extensive lipo surgery by wearing a cut-out dress.  Yoda shows up with some flunkie guy and does her condescending bit when she talks with DrunkOtis and Drunk’s Dad about how proud she is of DrunkOtis.  And then… part the waters…  PumpMyStomach rudely barges into Drunk’s house party.   The only good part about PMS being there?  Her zinger to DrunkOtis’ mother and father at the end of this preview… after DrunkO’s mother makes excuses for DrunkO’s behavior.  PMS says, “I blame that on the parents.”

More interesting products in HagfaceKyle’s bathroom…Bean-o and Lithium

KYLE BATHROOM

YODA Overcomes Her “Silent Killer” Suffering To Make WWHL Appearance!

NO ONE DOES A HEALTH CONDITION BETTER THAN ME!!

NO ONE DOES A HEALTH CONDITION BETTER THAN ME!!

A caller just happened to ask Yoda a question about her signature cause… lyme disease.  FYI:  ALL calls go through Diedre, the WWHL Nazi phone lieutenant… your question will be edited or changed completely before it’s asked of a guest.  MissAndy was grateful that Yoda could keep her WWHL appearance obligation, unlike her fellow RHOBH cast member **Kim Richards**… and looked genuinely concerned about Yoda’s hidden disability aka Yoda’s “silent killer”!!!  So dramatic!!   KingD has mentioned in previous interviews that Yoda is using her “silent killer” to catapult her into her own show, since Yoda has become the face of Lyme.  Oh, the suffering Yoda does!!

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The Big Stink… Over A Glimpse Of Alana’s Side Boob! Yoda’s Other “Model” Daughter Looks Tortured!

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Yoda’s model daughter showin’ her **GASP** side boob!   A stink over a side boob???  After THESE naked poses?? Yoda’s other “model” daughter looks positively torturously miserable in her latest “modeling” pose: Yoda has slid back comfortably into her LymeBed … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview: Yoda Nags PumpMyStomach

rhobh yoda feet

At the required Housewives get-together… this time taking place at HagfaceKyle’s house… Yoda jumps all over BLEEEEEEECH! PumpMyStomach about not getting an invite to PumpMS’s PalmSprings “star” ceremony.   Maybe if Yoda got her really good friend, DrPhil, to come along with her, maybe PMS would have invited her!!

 

RHOBH Filming In Holland…

These people are simple morons.  Watch as they are filmed being filmed for the RHOBH.  Walking around in wooden shoes?  How touristy.  Worse than that, is Lisa BLEEEECH! PumpMyStomach’s choice of footwear.


AND… outside of their hotel.  Poor BalloonLipsLisa… she’s just not as fan-friendly as EmmyWinningEileen!  Of course, bleeeeeeeech! PMS just blows off everyone:

 

(Thanks “Conor”!!)

 

PumpMyStomach Matches RHOBH With Dogs… Except Yoda And Herself!

PumpMyStomach matches her fellow Housewives with their canine counterparts…except Yoda and herself!

 

 

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YODA’S Imperfect Daughter’s Arrest… Yoda Does NOT Know Her Depressed Non-Model Daughter!

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A trip aboard a yacht with HagfaceKyle turned into a nightmare vacation for Yolanda Foster on last night’s RHOBH when she learned her second “model” daughter had been arrested for a DUI.  All was going swimmingly on the yacht vacation before … Continue reading

WHEN Will Yoda Give HagfaceKyle’s HouseHusband The LemonListing?

mauricio david trini pg lemons yoda

YODA’s $25 million (give or take $5) lemon house is still for sale with Chris Cortazzo… it’s time to turn the sale over to the greatest real estate agent EVER, MO-ritzeo!  It’s rumored that MO-ritzeo promised to sing his version of “LemonTree” to KingDavid when he gets the listing!  Ironic lyrics considering all the Yoda d-i-v-o-r-c-e rumors…

THE REAL REASON WHY YODA WAS UPSET… When Hearing News About Arrested Daughter

Poor YODA!  It wasn’t even a year from the time she uttered these words until her daughter-Jello-who-doesn’t-want-to-be-a-model was arrested for underage drunk driving!  Yoda’s “holier than thou” pride was crushed.  It’s hard to live down these words she spoke to Shana:

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RHOBH Preview: YODA Gets Call About Daughter Jello’s DrunkDriving Arrest

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Yoda gets “devastating” news about her other “model” daughter, Jello. Bella Hadid — the daughter of Yolanda Foster — who appears on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” — was arrested early Tuesday morning for DUI … July 22, 2014. Bella … Continue reading

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KingDavid Speaks! Wants To Smack Those Who Don’t Know About His Grammys!

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NOTE:  DavidFoster gives his annual interview to the CanadianPress to get some interest going for DavidFosterFoundation.  KingD chats about his many projects, including the plans to STILL bring his BettyBoop musical to Broadway… he’s only short about $15 million.   … Continue reading

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YODA’S INSANELY INSIPID BRAVO BLOG… Wants to keep her kids “humble, grounded, and hungry”

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Since ALL of the RHOBH’s BravoBlogs thus far are filled with self-congratulatory words and even more vapid thoughts, will be spotlighting the most vapid and ridiculous… although HagfaceKyle has yet to submit hers.  So, here we go with Yoda: Woo-hoo, … Continue reading

Something About EileenDavidson…

In preparation for EileenDavidson’s debut appearance in her new role as a BH Housewife, her cast mates give their fluff opinions about Eileen.  Kimbecile and BigLipsLisa are missing.  HagfaceKyle gives her best impression of an actress and fails:

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REALITY CHECK: How Far Is Beach Access From Yoda’s LemonHouse?

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Yoda and DrunkOtis took a walk from Yoda’s lemon house to the Malibu beach. They left Yoda’s lemon house; walked down Yoda’s looooong driveway; walked from the driveway down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH; across the PCH to the beach. More … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

judge-judy-dont-pee-on-my-leg

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A Tale Of Two Daughters…

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PICTURES TELL A STORY… It’s crystal clear that Yoda’s other “model” daughter is unhappy, annoyed and depressed.  Yoda has been driving Jello down the same career road as she drove Jello’s older sister, Alana, which is to be a “model” … Continue reading

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GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Views Yoda DOESN’T Want You To See!!

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ON THIS SEASON OF THE RHOBH, YODA IS POINTING OUT THE LOCATION OF HER LEMON HOUSE.   YODA DID NOT WANT YOU TO SEE HER LEMON HOUSE LOCATION BACK IN MARCH! UPDATE:  Yoda has quietly reduced the price of her … Continue reading

Yoda’s Passive/Aggressive Demands…The Absolute Insulting BurglarBalls Of “I’m A Mommy” Yoda!!

RHOBH yoda david pg

Excerpt from Yoda’s BravoBlog:

“I am excited to be blogging with and for you over the next couple of months. I love and appreciate the time you take to share your opinions, even though we might not always agree, I respect your freedom of speech and respect this blogging process.

I am asking in advance to please keep things classy because the most powerful debates are spoken in a clear and respectful manner. All seven of us are mommies of children that are existing in the social media world, so please be sensitive to the power of your thoughts and words.”

HUH???  These chicks knowingly and with forethought go into these contrived, scripted situations in exchange for receiving easy “reality” show money and perks.  They are told to “bring the drama” by producers and obey that command.  They willfully attack each other verbally and physically, trying to top each other with each glass thrown and face slapped!  Who the hell does Yoda think she is to espouse from the top of her lemon grove to all the unwashed below to be “sensitive” because she and others are “mommies of children”!?

As a “mommy,” it is up to YOU to protect your children and to keep them OUT of your story line and OFF our TVs.   SonjaMorgan can give you instructions.

If these Housewives are sensitive to their “kids” being bashed because THEY choose to put them on TV…here’s a very simple suggestion for you, Yoda, and for all the other Housewives who passively/aggressively say that they respect freedom of speech and then turn around to expect boundaries and your own rules to be placed on that freedom:  

Decline that easy “reality” $$$ and get off TV.  

YODA ADDS MORE INSULT TO INJURY:

“…we are seven very different but equally important woman “Important”?  Important to whom? Yoda’s self-agrandizement knows no bounds!! that have feelings just like you but are willing to put ourselves out there to share and give you a peek into some of the most intimate moments of our lives.”

YODA leaves out the rest of her sentence…saying WHY she’s sharing her “most INTIMATE moments”: 

…In exchange for CASH; all-expense-paid trips; being spokespersons for various causes and/or diseases for $$$; being paid for cross-promoting on other shows; writing books; selling romance; making jewelry; pushing wines; buying followers on twitter, FB and instagram to generate more income by mentioning products; making more $$$ for appearance fees; promoting relative’s careers; and, in Yoda’s case, putting up with the BH clowns with the hope of getting her very own “lifestyle” show!

What is utterly insulting about Yoda’s last statement is her assumption that no one else has ever experienced or has knowledge of what she has experienced and is “allowing” everyone just a little glance into her world… and the assumption that one should be grateful to her for sharing!

Yoda’s goal is to push her kids…especially “model” Alana!

(Thanks “TamH”!!)

Counting down to when Yoda will turn into MartyrLymeYoda… 3-2-1… aaaand the tweets of LymeYoda in a hospital room start!  Even when she’s barely clinging to life, MartyrYoda will make good TV share her life.. just for you!!  Oh, the sacrifices she makes… 

HOUSEWIVES STUFF…

 

KYLE

adrian brody

john turturro

YODA

lisar

FELDMAN

ANOTHER DUGGAR DOES IT!!  NOW THAT THEY KNOW HOW TO KISS, THEY’RE READY TO BE HOUSEWIVES… JILL AND DERICK ARE MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!  MICHELLE AND HORNDOG JIMBOB ARE OFF TO ORANGE COUNTY!

DUGGAR

 

(Thanks “anonTW”!!)

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YOLANDA FOSTER: The RHOBH Are “A Bunch Of Clowns”! Just Using RHOBH To Get Her Own “Lifestyle” Show!

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From December 2013:  David Foster blabs to a TorontoPaper about his career goals and then talks about Yolanda Foster and her REAL reasons for being a clown on the RHOBH!  In an interview re David Foster’s quest to win a … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview SneakPeek: Yoda And DrunkOtis Prance To KingDavid, Run Into Crooks, Yoda Lies About Acreage

DrunkOtis makes her way to Yoda’s hilltop lemon house… which is STILL for sale… only to agree to take a walk with Yoda on the beach, which is ten miles away from Yoda’s lemon house.  But, before they start their five-hour hike, KingDavid performs a sampling of the musical that he’s STILL working on… BettyBoop.  Honestly, who the hell is going to see a musical about BettyBoop???  This must be KingDavid’s only way to get that backing for BettyBoopTheMusical, which he mentioned in one of his many interviews… the same interviews in which he states that the RHOBH are not real!

After the near-death-LymeDisease-ridden Yoda and DrunkOtis prance around to KingDavid’s piano playing, they start their long hike to the beach, but along the way, Yoda discovers a squatter on her property!!

crooks brooks pg

It’s Crooks!!  Selling Vicki’s old clothes from 1989!!

NOTE:  Amazing that LymeYoda had such a conniption fit over pictures of her lemon house on SH showing that it was no where NEAR the beach… it’s obvious that no one wants her hilltop hacienda for $25 million!!

If you missed LemonYoda’s conniption fit about her lemon house… HERE…and Yoda’s nasty twitter attack HERE.   Back in March, Trulia listed LymeYoda’s property as consisting of 3.18 acres, but the acreage is not mentioned In the updated listing.

Yoda apparently wants buyers to think they’re getting FOUR AND A HALF acres…why is Yoda lying about acreage??

aa