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DRUNK OTIS’ BRAVO BLOG: More Ghostwriting… And Excuses For Kim!! DrunkO Pulls The “I’m A Mommy” Card

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NOTE:  No way did DrunkOtis write this. Hi Everyone, Here we are go again for another weekly round of Housewives. I hope everyone is happy, well, and invested in the season. It’s certainly a dramatic one. This episode plays like … Continue reading

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SH “HIT AND RUN”: Look Inside! Shane Keough…SkankyJo… LuAnn Crowing About RHONY… Alana Eats A Burger…KimRichards TV Show “Where’s Larry” …Mohamed Hadid Sued…Tamballs In 80’s Dance Video!

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  Jeana Keough’s son has had it selling real estate in OrangeCounty.  Sean Keough has ditched OC for bigger real estate horizons in LasVegas…and to be with his girlfriend, MissNevada. SkankyJo does more bikini shots… Speaking of SkankyJo… Mohammerhead is … Continue reading

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RHOBH Preview: WATCH DrunkOtis Tell Smothering Loada To Bug Off!

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Loada hates drunk people… PREDICTION:  Loada will not renew her Bravo contract.  Her work to get puffy-faced Alana and depressed drunk Jello “modeling” careers, even though they are not model material, is done.  Loada is sick of being called out on … Continue reading

SH EXCLUSIVE!! ANDY COOP DISCOVERS REASON FOR LOADA’S “ILLNESS”!

LOADA JUST HAS A BAD CASE OF … COOTIES!!!

ANDERSON COOPER YODA COOTIES

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ALANA’S BEST EVER CHRISTMAS PRESENT… Can’t Read Or Write Mommy Got Her A Maybelline Contract!

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Don’t wanna say TOLDJA SO… BUT… After PuffyFaceAlana talks about how “lucky” she feels about getting her “Model of the Year” Award from TheDaily, she spills it about how she REALLY got her “Face of Maybelline” contract. “Well my mom … Continue reading

LOADA CURED… THE AFTERMATH!

LOADA AND KING DAVID WILL STILL GLOBE TROT… BUT, WILL HAVE FUN DOING IT STANDING UP… ALL FOR LYME!!  NO MORE OF THOSE LYMEFACE-IN-BED “STICK AN IV IN ME” SHOTS!!

LOADA FOSTER

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IT’S A MIRACLE!! LymeYoda Has Recovered!!

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Well, isn’t this something!  LymeYoda has suddenly found the strength to pull out that IV and arise from her LymeBed!  LymeYoda or “Loada” because she is simply a LOADA crap when it comes to her fakiness… is now issuing happy … Continue reading

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The REALITY of LymeYoda’s Illness Claims… MD Calls FAKE! “Illness” Does NOT Exist!

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NOTE:  We’ve spoken to several MDs on this subject and know of people who have had LymeDisease, one who died from the disease.  We base our opinion that Yoda doesn’t have LymeDisease on these personal exchanges.  We still stand by … Continue reading

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BLIND ITEM! Guess The Housewife! Whose Daughter Has Sex Tapes?

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From CDAN: The daughter of this Real Housewife is the most popular student at her college. Not only has she sent out naked photos of herself to a ton of people but she is the one who will do anything … Continue reading

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YODA STRIKES AGAIN! Scores Alana Another “Modeling” Job

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Yoda has scored again!!  Yoda’s “model” daughter, Alana, got another job **cough, cough** all **cough, cough** by **cough, cough** herself… as the face of Maybelline. Alana actually tried a Maybelline product once when she accidentally visited a drug store that … Continue reading

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GUESS THE HOUSEWIFE!

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This is the first in a series of a brand new category:  “The Most Excrutiatingly Difficult Questions About The Housewives”! QUESTION:  Which of these BeverlyHills Housewives is married to… HARRY HAMLIN!?!?!  HARRY HAMLIN!!   OMG… She’s married to HARRY HAMLIN!!  Even … Continue reading

Jello’s “I Love My Mommy” Note To Yoda

The biggest snooze-inducing segment of the “problem with kids” and “kids take off” episode of the RHOBH was Jello’s love note to her mommy.   What a crock!  We’ll bet that Yoda dictated that note while she was laid up with her LimeyLymes.   Although disease-afflicted every day during filming except for one, Yoda managed to arranged Jello’s new “student” apartment.  Jello escaped to New York to attend photography school at Parsons and is living in a CPW apartment which the majority of students attending NYC schools could never afford… even if they get a job after they get their degree.   

NOTE:  How many times was HagfaceKyle’s kid, FrontPorcha, highlighted during the episode?  

 

RHOBH Preview Part II: LymeYoda Takes Jello To School… DrunkOtis Divorce Issues

SchzoidYoda gets a reprieve from her LymeYoda “stick an IV in me and take a picture” personality and HelicopterYoda escorts Jello to her very first apartment on CPW.  It’s amazing that Yoda didn’t further escort Jello to her very first class at Parsons.  DrunkOtis blabs more about her contentious divorce and child support issues.  AND…one of the Housewives is married to… HarryHamlin!!  Yes…HARRY HAMLIN!!!

Carole Schaffer, Associate Dean at Parsons School of Design said that she looks for “discipline, drive and seriousness about the hard-work involved in becoming a designer.”   Watch for Jello to drop out quickly and concentrate on her mother-made “modeling” career… if she was actually matriculated at Parsons in the first place!!  Perhaps Yoda has her sights on shopping a new “reality” show… “Two ‘Models’ In New York…Better Than The Kartrashians!”

RHOBH Preview Part II: Yoda Still Dealing With Daughter’s SHAME!

 

I'M A MODEL... I'M A MODEL... I'M A MODEL.  THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER TELLS ME.

I’M A MODEL… I’M A MODEL… I’M A MODEL. THAT’S WHAT MY MOTHER TELLS ME.

“Jello is still dealing with the shame of getting a DUI”

No, YodaHead… Jello is NOT dealing with the shame.   YOU are.

Jello is no more model material than CrooksAyers; but, Yoda is dead set on forcing her kid to follow the path of her older non-model sister, Alana.  Jello is now ready to be formed by her nervous mother… into whatever her mother wants her to be!   Yoda is holding Jello’s “bad mistake” over her head and because she’s under age at 17-years-old, she is tightly under Yoda’s thumb and must obey!

Yoda is so extreme in this preview that she holds Jello while walking her to the photo shoot with BeverlyHillsMagazine… which OCLydia must have sold to this guy to sell mattresses.

Yoda also explains how her strict punishment has affected Jello.  Jello is REALLY feeling the wrath of Yoda after she took her phone away for 21 DAYS!!  And, the REALLY painful punishment doled out to Jello?  Jello has to pay her attorney… from her SAVINGS!!  OUCH!

The second segment of this RHOBH preview is more of the DrunkOtis/PumpMyStomach sit down.

Yoda Still Forcing Jello To Be A Model!

Yoda does not give up!!  She is determined to make her drunk-driving daughter a MODEL!

“So proud of my baby Bella for being on the list of “Rising Model Stars” to watch in 2015 by @VoqueMagazine @imgmodels #WorkingGirl #KeepReaching4DStarsMyLove”

If Yoda was not their mother, neither one of her kids would be “models”!  Jello is not enjoying herself at all…  her “modeling” photos look painful and sad.

yoda jello model

 

NOTE:  There’s really nothing more ugly than watching a mother force her kid into obvious unhappiness.

(Thanks “cmhr”!!)

RHOBH Preview: DrunkOtis Throws A Party… PumpMyStomach Shows Up

yoda mystery guy

In this RHOBH preview, DrunkOtis has a party… with NO Fatburger stand!!!

All of her friends and family show up… and Leeeeeeeeeeeza Gibbons thinks DrunkOtis with the bad hair extentions has “fans.”  HagfaceKyle shows off her extensive lipo surgery by wearing a cut-out dress.  Yoda shows up with some flunkie guy and does her condescending bit when she talks with DrunkOtis and Drunk’s Dad about how proud she is of DrunkOtis.  And then… part the waters…  PumpMyStomach rudely barges into Drunk’s house party.   The only good part about PMS being there?  Her zinger to DrunkOtis’ mother and father at the end of this preview… after DrunkO’s mother makes excuses for DrunkO’s behavior.  PMS says, “I blame that on the parents.”

More interesting products in HagfaceKyle’s bathroom…Bean-o and Lithium

KYLE BATHROOM

YODA Overcomes Her “Silent Killer” Suffering To Make WWHL Appearance!

NO ONE DOES A HEALTH CONDITION BETTER THAN ME!!

NO ONE DOES A HEALTH CONDITION BETTER THAN ME!!

A caller just happened to ask Yoda a question about her signature cause… lyme disease.  FYI:  ALL calls go through Diedre, the WWHL Nazi phone lieutenant… your question will be edited or changed completely before it’s asked of a guest.  MissAndy was grateful that Yoda could keep her WWHL appearance obligation, unlike her fellow RHOBH cast member **Kim Richards**… and looked genuinely concerned about Yoda’s hidden disability aka Yoda’s “silent killer”!!!  So dramatic!!   KingD has mentioned in previous interviews that Yoda is using her “silent killer” to catapult her into her own show, since Yoda has become the face of Lyme.  Oh, the suffering Yoda does!!

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The Big Stink… Over A Glimpse Of Alana’s Side Boob! Yoda’s Other “Model” Daughter Looks Tortured!

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Yoda’s model daughter showin’ her **GASP** side boob!   A stink over a side boob???  After THESE naked poses?? Yoda’s other “model” daughter looks positively torturously miserable in her latest “modeling” pose: Yoda has slid back comfortably into her LymeBed … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview: Yoda Nags PumpMyStomach

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At the required Housewives get-together… this time taking place at HagfaceKyle’s house… Yoda jumps all over BLEEEEEEECH! PumpMyStomach about not getting an invite to PumpMS’s PalmSprings “star” ceremony.   Maybe if Yoda got her really good friend, DrPhil, to come along with her, maybe PMS would have invited her!!

 

RHOBH Filming In Holland…

These people are simple morons.  Watch as they are filmed being filmed for the RHOBH.  Walking around in wooden shoes?  How touristy.  Worse than that, is Lisa BLEEEECH! PumpMyStomach’s choice of footwear.


AND… outside of their hotel.  Poor BalloonLipsLisa… she’s just not as fan-friendly as EmmyWinningEileen!  Of course, bleeeeeeeech! PMS just blows off everyone:

 

(Thanks “Conor”!!)

 

PumpMyStomach Matches RHOBH With Dogs… Except Yoda And Herself!

PumpMyStomach matches her fellow Housewives with their canine counterparts…except Yoda and herself!

 

 

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YODA’S Imperfect Daughter’s Arrest… Yoda Does NOT Know Her Depressed Non-Model Daughter!

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A trip aboard a yacht with HagfaceKyle turned into a nightmare vacation for Yolanda Foster on last night’s RHOBH when she learned her second “model” daughter had been arrested for a DUI.  All was going swimmingly on the yacht vacation before … Continue reading

WHEN Will Yoda Give HagfaceKyle’s HouseHusband The LemonListing?

mauricio david trini pg lemons yoda

YODA’s $25 million (give or take $5) lemon house is still for sale with Chris Cortazzo… it’s time to turn the sale over to the greatest real estate agent EVER, MO-ritzeo!  It’s rumored that MO-ritzeo promised to sing his version of “LemonTree” to KingDavid when he gets the listing!  Ironic lyrics considering all the Yoda d-i-v-o-r-c-e rumors…

THE REAL REASON WHY YODA WAS UPSET… When Hearing News About Arrested Daughter

Poor YODA!  It wasn’t even a year from the time she uttered these words until her daughter-Jello-who-doesn’t-want-to-be-a-model was arrested for underage drunk driving!  Yoda’s “holier than thou” pride was crushed.  It’s hard to live down these words she spoke to Shana:

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RHOBH Preview: YODA Gets Call About Daughter Jello’s DrunkDriving Arrest

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Yoda gets “devastating” news about her other “model” daughter, Jello. Bella Hadid — the daughter of Yolanda Foster — who appears on “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” — was arrested early Tuesday morning for DUI … July 22, 2014. Bella … Continue reading