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FROM THE SH ARCHIVES… RHONJ RECAP: Season Three, Episode 18 … “Blood Is Thicker Than Guccis”… HAS ANYTHING CHANGED IN TWO YEARS?

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ORIGINALLY POSTED OCTOBER 6, 2011… TWO Years Ago!! HAS ANYTHING CHANGED????                                                            … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Eighteen… “Salon Farewell” By Sandi Duffy

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap   “Salon Farewell” by Sandi Duffy Back at Kim Ds store opening or whatever the hell it is, Penny outs Teresa as the source for all her twitter information.  I could do without the … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Seventeen… “Hair We Go Again”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Season Five Episode Seventeen “Hair We Go Again” by Sandi Duffy Jacqueline and Teresa are BFFs again.  They go shopping at Kim Ds store. Penny is saying that Teresa put her up to everything. … Continue reading

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Sixteen… “The Blonde Drops A Bombshell” By Sandi Duffy

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap  

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Season Five Episode Sixteen “The Blonde Drops A Bombshell”

by Sandi Duffy

Oh thank goodness.  They are done with Arizona.

Teresa is coming out with her own Skinny Italian food line.  I hope it’s better than that slop the Mangos tried peddling from the Brownstone.

Do any of the men on this show actually work besides Al?  They all sit around and talk all the time.

Chris and Jacqueline are milking their autism storyline.  Theft are doing something with that sludge they sell and Jacqueline is going to make a speech.  I wonder who HER ghostwriter is.

Kathy and Richie are doing something, but no one cares, so I’m not even going to bother to recap this part.

The Guidices and Gorgas are all having lunch together minus Father Gorga, who has kidney stones.  I don’t really like the new Joe Guidice, who has somehow been coerced or blackmailed into cooperating with the producer-induced story lines.

Teresa is at Jacqueline’s house to help her with her speech.  That’s like Forest Gump helping Corky from Life Goes On write a speech.

Joe Guidice and Rosie seem like BFFs this season.  I kind of like the Rosie/Joe dynamic, even if they both think that both men and women have eggs.  I think it’s safe to say that no one in this cast is going to find the cure for cancer.

Does Melissa just go around and sing her stupid song everywhere she goes?  How is this no talent getting to meet my boyfriend Justin Timberlakes manager?  Who is Melissa kidding?  She would sell her soul to the devil for a big recording career.

More Kathy and Richie.  I’m going to pee and get a snack.

A songwriter and producer comes to Melissa’s studio with “Justin Timberlakes manager”.  I would like to point out that with the magic of auto tune, I could sound just as bad as Melissa.

 

 

More Kathy and Richie.  Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

Damnit!  I thought it was going to be a Caroline-free episode, and not only is it NOT Caroline-free episode, but we also get miserable Lauren.

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Teresa takes a shot at Kathy by describing her cannolis as “edible”.

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Jacqueline is on her way to her big speech.  She’s really nervous.  She’d probably be less nervous if there was a stripper pole in the room.

The women are idiots trying to play basketball in high heels instead of sneakers.

They only made $3000 at their event.  Hell, my late husbands friends, who aren’t on TV, raise more than that every year in a charity golf outing in my husbands name for pancreatic cancer research.

Joe and Melissa are out to dinner and se Penny out.  Melissa approaches Penny about the rumors.  Penny’s fake hair is horrid.  Penny outs Teresa as the source behind the rumors.

Next week on RHONJ…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Fifteen… “Zen Things I Hate About You”… By Sandi Duffy

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five Episode Thirteen … “Zen Things I Hate About You” by Sandi Duffy Damnit to hell, they are STILL in Arizona and now these fools are playing tennis which the instructor is … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Fourteen… “Horse Whisper to a Scream”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP Season Five Episode Fourteen … “Horse Whisper to a Scream” by Sandi Duffy   This is going to be a double recap, capturing the entire Arizona trip.  I wish you had all been able … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Twelve… “Hair-binger of Doom”… by Sandi Duffy

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   “Hair-binger of Doom”   by Sandi Duffy I’ve been accused of being a little too Team Teresa when recapping the Real Housewives of NJ.  I’m not.  I think Teresa and her husband have … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap, Season Five Episode Eleven, “Children of the Scorned”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap  Season Five Episode Eleven “Children of the Scorned”   Sandi Duffy will return next week! WHAT!  PrinceAlbie says that his black water stuff isn’t financially stable enough to withdraw any money from it!?!? That’s … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Ten… “Best Frenemies Forever”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Season Five, Episode Ten… “Best Frenemies Forever” by Sandi Duffy Sorry I’m late, folks.  I was in Hershey, PA over the weekend with my kids and Sunday night went to the Justin Timberlake/Jay Z concert instead … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Nine … “On Thin Giud-Ice”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five, Episode Nine … “On Thin Giud-Ice” by Sandi Duffy Last week the Gorgas and Walkiles rewrote history and pretended the whole Joe vs. Joe fight was Joe Guidice’s fault. Then Caroline, the … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five Episode Eight… ‘Scum One, Scum All”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five Episode Eight…  “Scum One, Scum All” by Sandi Duffy Before I start, here is an article about the trial I was on.  http://www.njherald.com/story/22893790/juror-describes-tedesco-murder-trial-verdict I am not the juror interviewed, but whoever it … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Seven… “When Joes Collide”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five, Episode Seven … “When Joes Collide” by Sandi Duffy   A commenter suggested that we start a drinking game…every time Teresa’s name is mentioned in a scene she’s not in, we … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Six… “Drinking With The Enemy”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five, Episode Six… “Drinking With The Enemy” by Sandi Duffy I missed last week’s episode because I was on vacation down at the Jersey Shore, specifically Long Beach Island, one of the … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five Episode Four … “Gym Rats”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five Episode Four … “Gym Rats” by Sandi Duffy I didn’t even proofread this because I am so over this episode. Please no more hospital gate this episode. Melissa and Joe rehash … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode Two… “A Manzo of Her Word”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five, Episode Two   “A Manzo of Her Word”   by Sandi Duffy I am so against kids going into show business, but I think I can make an exception for Milania.  … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Five, Episode One … “Garden State of Emergency”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Five, Episode One … “Garden State of Emergency” by Sandi Duffy Ok folks, it’s what we’ve all been waiting for–in the immortal words of the amazing Tina Fey, it’s the Subhumans of … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode 24… “Lost Footage”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Four, Episode 24… “Lost Footage” by Sandi Duffy I can’t believe there is yet ANOTHER episode of this shitstorm.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey is like herpes–it won’t friggin’ go away. … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP     Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III by Sandi Duffy FINALLY!  It’s the end!  When this is over, I’m going out on my front porch and yelling, “Free at last!  Free at … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty-Two… Reunion Part II

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP:   Season Four, Episode Twenty-Two… Reunion Part II by Sandi Duffy This is the season that won’t end of Real Housewives of New Jersey.  I swear, if I weren’t recapping this show, I’d do … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode 21… Reunion Part 1

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Four, Episode 21… Reunion Part 1 by Sandi Duffy Much like the housewives, I had to pop a Xanax before recapping this reunion, but don’t worry folks, I have a legal prescription. … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty… “Strip Down Memory Lane”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP   Season Four, Episode Twenty… “Strip Down Memory Lane” by Sandi Duffy FINALLY!  The last episode of Real Housewives of NJ.  It’s been a bad TV weekend.  First, ION TV took Psych off.  I … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Four, Episode Nineteen… “A Bald Canary Sings”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap    Season Four, Episode Nineteen… “A Bald Canary Sings” by Sandi Duffy Finally, the night of the Posche Fashion Show.  So what, is this episode number 257?  It seems like this season has lasted … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Four, Episode Eighteen… “Dinasty of Denial”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap    Season Four Episode Eighteen… “Dinasty of Denial” by Sandi Duffy This better be a good one tonight because I had to DVR a brand new Wallander on Masterpiece Mystery starring Kenneth Branagh, the … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Four, Episode Seventeen… “Hot Tub of Sour Grapes”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Season Four Episode Seventeen… “Hot Tub of Sour Grapes” by Sandi Duffy I’ve had one of the worst days ever today which included, in no particular order, a car accident, a broken nose (totally … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Four, Episode Sixteen… “Whine Country”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Season Four, Episode Sixteen… “Whine Country” by Sandi Duffy I just got through watching Big Ang’ and her friends sexually harass the pool boy, and now I get to recap the train wreck that … Continue reading