RHOBH Preview: HagfaceKyle And Kin Take Off In A Rent-A-Jet!

HagfaceKyle fails to mention that “her” jet can be chartered by anyone.  WheelsUp is just another air taxi service for anyone who has the money to purchase aviation time.  WheelsUp is the same as MarquisJet aka NetJets…a taxi in the sky!  Is WheelsUp just another product placement??

If you are unfamiliar with this aspect of private aviation…more info HERE.

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WHATEVER WEDNESDAY: Whatever Happened To HagfaceKyle’s Lollipop Kids?

Whatever happened to HagfaceKyle’s “charity”?  WHY did HagfaceKyle abandon her Lollipop Kids?  WHY did Adrienne abandon her “good friend” DrunkOtis? 

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DrunkOtis’ Ghostwritten BORING BravoBlog: PumpMyStomach Still Doesn’t Like Me!

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Hi everyone! It is finally here: the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like it’s been forever, but I’m glad we are back. As you know with these blogs, we write them as to how … Continue reading

Adrienne Magoof’s Dating Life … All The Execs In Beverly Hills Are Dating 20-Year-Olds

Adrienne looked so much better when she was with Rod’s kid… YIKES!!  Heard Jacob was over visiting Magoof’s neighbor, ParisHilton, when Magoof isn’t looking.

The Brainy BeverlyHillBillians Advice On How To Find Happiness

RHOBH Premiere Episode: HagfaceKyle Meets PumpMyStomach For The Required Luncheon Sit Down

The required “two Housewives meet in a restaurant for a sit down” scene… with HagfaceKyle and PumpMyStomach.  It doesn’t get any better than this…

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

JenniferGimenez ROBBED!! Goods Can Be Found At DrunkOtis House!

DID WE EVER?  I FORGOT...

I HATE THESE STELLA BAGS… JENNIFER HAS NICER ONES

brandi jennifer

Reality “star” Jennifer Gimenez, shown above with DrunkOtis and the love of DrunkOtis’ life, Darin Harvey, will be wearing the finest Forever21 dresses for her next fancy event … because all her good stuff has been stolen.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the actress came home to her L.A. home Monday afternoon and found her front window wide open and the screen thrown to the ground.

Sources close to Jennifer say that she went inside and, to her horror, found several rooms torn apart and $20,000 worth of jewelry, Gucci and Louis Vuitton handbags missing. It happened in broad daylight, yet as far as we can tell there were no witnesses.

NOTE:  If Jennifer would take a ride on over to DrunkOtis’ rented redone house, she would find all Jennifer’s Guccis and LVs.  DrunkOtis is sick and tired of lugging around those Stellas…. too bad, DrunkOtis sold the jewelry to buy three chicken pot pies at Maries.

drunk otis

HOUSEWIVES STUFF…

 

KYLE

adrian brody

john turturro

YODA

lisar

FELDMAN

ANOTHER DUGGAR DOES IT!!  NOW THAT THEY KNOW HOW TO KISS, THEY’RE READY TO BE HOUSEWIVES… JILL AND DERICK ARE MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!  MICHELLE AND HORNDOG JIMBOB ARE OFF TO ORANGE COUNTY!

DUGGAR

 

(Thanks “anonTW”!!)

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YOLANDA FOSTER: The RHOBH Are “A Bunch Of Clowns”! Just Using RHOBH To Get Her Own “Lifestyle” Show!

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From December 2013:  David Foster blabs to a TorontoPaper about his career goals and then talks about Yolanda Foster and her REAL reasons for being a clown on the RHOBH!  In an interview re David Foster’s quest to win a … Continue reading

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg

LisaRinna on WWHL…

In this chat with LisaRinna last year, it was clear that she was either in talks with MissAndy to be a BH Housewife or had already signed the contract… as she coyly tries to wriggle out of answering.  But, she says that she would fit right in, as she knows them already:

Lisa Rinna Says She Would Never Join RHOBH

From ChristyReports:  LisaRinna said she would never join RHOBH…

But, we all know how this goes!  LisaR will give BS answers and not say the real reason (easy “reality” show $$$ and the free all-expense-paid trips) why she changed her mind and upped with the RHOBH.  Just like the rest of the Housewives, LisaR has something to push and is using her HWs “platform” to do some extra hard pushing for viewers to buy her stuff… just in time for Christmas!!  Does anyone STILL believe anything that comes out of the Housewives’ mouths??  Does anyone STILL believe that the Housewives are real??

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Lisa Rinna Tells WHY She Joined The RHOBH … Well, Not Really…Just Some BS From Lisa

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 LisaRinna at Adrienne Magoof’s Zing party March 2013…campaigning to be a Housewife  From NYPost: NEW BeverlyHills Housewife LisaRinna was asked why she signed on to the RHOBH and doesn’t answer the question… other than saying that the RHOBH is just … Continue reading

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HagfaceKyle Is NOW Spokesperson For Dry Eyes!

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You just KNEW this was coming!  HagfaceKyle has FINALLY gotten herself a spokesperson job, not with Pantene… but with Restasis.  Kyle has been whining about her dry eyes affliction for months, even though she states in interviews that she’s been … Continue reading

Kim Richards Sends Her DeadlyDog to DoggyRehab…

Kim’s prone-to-biting pit bull has been sent to a farm to live his life happily and freely!  Awwww, that would have been a nice story, but Kim doesn’t want Kingsley to go away forever and has found a way to keep her deadly dog.  Kim has sent Kingsley off to doggie rehab.  The dog will stay with a trainer who will wear a full metal mesh body suit while teaching Kim’s dog that it’s not nice to attack people by opening his huge jaw and clamping down on soft tissue until it hits bone bite anyone.   TRAINER TO KINGSLEY:  Do you promise to never bite anyone ever again?  KINGSLEY:  Yes, I promise.  TRAINER:  OK, you’re cured.

SH WITTY WEEKEND! Caption This… Captioned!!

kyle caption

“Hoolrah” will receive a gift certificate to HagfaceKyle’s speech therapist!  FinePrint: HagfaceKyle’s speech therapist’s earliest appointment is March 29, 2031…therapists’ appts are devoted to curing HagfaceKyle’s lizard lip licking!

 

RHOBH Sneak Peek: Girl Fighting, Wine Throwing, Face Slapping … All The BOOOORING Housewives Stuff… And Taglines

Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face.  PMS knew it was coming…

RHOBH PREVIEW SNEAK PEEK: HagfaceKyle Talks White Party, Her Kids And Mauricio’s RealEstateCompany

HagfaceKyle tries her best to conquer that lizard-lip-licking habit of hers, but she just can’t… as she talks glowingly about her upcoming white party (stolen from Truman Capote) and all of her kids.  Little does her kid Alexia know that she’s months away from being viciously attacked by a pit bull!

We just hope that THIS guest at HagfaceKyle’s annual white party makes it this year!

I WAS IN HAGFACE KYLE'S KITCHEN… I THINK I WAS

I LOVE HAGFACE KYLE’S WHITE PARTIES!!!  WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS?