PumpMyStomach’s Christmas Party Tips!!

PMS says to screw it and take a vacation!  She’s taking everyone, except Ken… 

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Yoda’s “Can’tBeBothered” BravoBlog… Jello’s DrunkDriving Arrest A “Grave Mistake”!

YODa

Hello Bravo lovers,

I hope you are having a great week. I am sure busy and overloaded with the holidays.  I would like to keep this week’s blog short, as I feel I discussed all in detail last week.   “Detail” = Yoda  glossing over the facts of her daughter’s drunk driving arrest. 

This grave mistake that Bella made has been a big challenge for our family to overcome together. When it occurred months ago, we went through the emotions of being terrified, horrified, disappointed, and sad. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and we don’t always act in a way that represents who we are. What matters is that these moments become teaching moments. Bella learned a very serious lesson and has to live with her actions, but it’s important to me as her mommy that she learns about forgiveness as well. Forgiveness for one’s self is the only way we can keep going through life and give ourselves the best chance at being the best people we can be.  I’m with her now in New York City, and I am so proud to see her working hard, being kind to those around her, and getting back to enjoying life.  NOTE:  Jello must have already completed her community service if she’s back with mommy in NYC while mommy oversees Alana’s nudie modeling jobs!!  Jello is still getting over the “pain” of being forced to dip into her savings to pay her atty… whom she can’t call because her new phone was taken away as punishment!!  Can’t wait until next week when Yoda whines about being not invited to PumpMyStomach’s “star” placement!

Much love and until next week,

Yolanda

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Watch As PumpMyStomach Fondles Her Swan!!

Lisa BLEEEEEECH! PumpMyStomach goes full-on wacko as she fondles her pet swan… after doing her usual “oh stop it!!  But, don’t stop adoring me and my pet-rat-which-is-mistaken-by-many-as-a dog”!

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INSTAGRAM PURGING FAKE FOLLOWERS… Will Twitter Do Same? Housewives And MissAndy Affected!

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Celebs with impressive numbers of followers on Instagram may not be as popular as they think. The social media site recently told all users, “Your number of followers has changed. We just completed a fix to remove spammy accounts.” That’s … Continue reading

BigLipsLisa Is TOO Fabulous For Medford, Oregon

Geez… why did BaboonBalloonLipsLisa even bother to step foot back in Medford OR?  She’s just too fabulous for such a boondocks town!  BBLL was there to help her mother sell her house… it must have been an ordeal for her.  We find nothing attractive or interesting about this chick.

(Thanks “Sloan”!!!)

GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY! Paul And Adrienne Dancing Fools At Pandorka’s Wedding

Who could ever forget how Adrienne and Paul tore it up on the dance floor???

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What’s In HagfaceKyle’s Bathroom?

Diapers and diuretics!

kyle DIAPERS

kyle DIURETICS

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NOTE:  One would have thought that HagfaceKyle would spring for some better weight loss pills… like the ones SuzanneSomers was pushing on the RHOBH!

SUZANNE PILLS ARROW

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HagfaceKyle’s Sickeningly Sweet Boring BravoBlog… With Her Diapers, DogBowls And Diuretics

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NOTE:  Why do these chicks even bother writing their gushingly saccharin boring BravoBlogs???   They give no real comments on the show nor do they give any personal insight after viewing the episode… which they’ve had for a week before … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview: Yoda Nags PumpMyStomach

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At the required Housewives get-together… this time taking place at HagfaceKyle’s house… Yoda jumps all over BLEEEEEEECH! PumpMyStomach about not getting an invite to PumpMS’s PalmSprings “star” ceremony.   Maybe if Yoda got her really good friend, DrPhil, to come along with her, maybe PMS would have invited her!!

 

KimRichards Becomes A Mother-In-Law…

 

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Kim Gets A DJ…

Deleted scene from tonight’s RHOBH:  The DJ gets interviewed… Kim just wantsta have fun! 

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SH “Hit And Run”… Yoda, NayNay, HouseHusband’s Allegations, Model Daughter

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What are your beauty essentials for on and off camera? “Beauty starts from within. I know that drinking lots of water with lemon is a pain sometimes, but in combination with green vegetable juices and omega-3 oil, you have a … Continue reading

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SH EXCLUSIVE!! Santa’s Christmas Housewives Helpers!

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DrunkOtis Makes Excuses For TreeJoodice … BravoFilming… Tree Didn’t Know What She Was Signing! Brandi Is An Idiot

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DrunkOtis says that Bravo/MissAndy is throwing big money at TreeJoodice to film her final days before walking through the front door at Danbury.  OF COURSE they are!!  Did anyone think that Bravo was NOT filming Teresa during her final weeks … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview: HagfaceKyle Makes Kim Cry Before Daughter’s Wedding!

Kim’s daughter fulfills the required wedding/recommitment ceremony story line on this season’s RHOBH!  MO-ritz-eo feigns stupidity by asking what he should wear to Brooke’s wedding.  During a phone call, HagfaceKyle comforts her sister and tells her not to cry and THEN tells KimR that their mother, BigKathy, AND their dad are watching over!  Cue the tears!!   Lil Milania FrontPorcha is also featured...

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RHOBH Preview: Yoda SugarCoats Non-Model Daughter’s Arrest… Eileen Davidson Reads Lines

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Oh, the little lies that Yoda would love for all to believe!  Yoda says in this RHOBH preview that her non-model daughter was just having some summer fun at a beach house where she had ONE glass of wine, which is something that all girls do during the summer.  Unfortunately, for her excellent non-model daughter, she was driving to a gas station where …. this is where it gets all confusing…Yoda says that KingD picked her up at the gas station. HOWEVER, the LAPD says that they arrested her for DUI, underage drinking AND driving with a suspended license after she reportedly ran a stop sign at 4 a.m., and almost hit a police cruiser in the process.  KingD had to bail her out.  Do they have satellite jails at gas stations in LA for quick bailouts??  Hmmmmm….

The yacht conversation between Yoda and KingD was probably re how to sugar coat this incident…

The non-model daughter had much MORE than a glass of wine… she blew a .14 on the breathalyzer.  According to this breathalyzer chart, the non-model daughter imbibed at least FOUR glasses of “wine”:

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The non-model daughter was driving under a suspended license; therefore, SOMETHING happened within the last five months for her license to be suspended.  Yoda had to know that her non-model daughter’s run-in was not the first one.

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RHOBH Preview II: PMS Goes To PalmSprings… BalloonLipsLisa Packs… KingD Says Jello’s Arrest “Tragic Mistake”!

HagfaceKyle, Morris, her kids and Yoda eat dinner.  Lisa BLEEEEEECH!! PumpMyStomach does her usual “cutesy” passive/aggressive BS crap.  BalloonLipsLisa is excited to be asked to watch PMS get a star.  KingD calls his non-model step-daughter’s DUI arrest a “tragic mistake”…

NOTE:  KingD hitting Ben Vereen on the PCH at 2 am was a tragic incident.  Bella Jello getting arrested for blowing a .14, underage drinking and driving with a suspended license was NO tragic  mistake.

DrunkOtis Hates Kenyan… What Would DrunkO Be Doing If NOT A Housewife?

After DrunkO calls Kenyan a horrible, horrible person, Sandra Bernhard asks DrunkOtis THE question:  WHY do you put yourself in these circumstances?  

DrunkO’s response was the expected response of a Housewife:  To make money.

NOTE:  Like the majority of her counterparts, DrunkOtis has no education and zero marketable skills to command earnings elsewhere.

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PumpMyStomach Matches RHOBH With Dogs… Except Yoda And Herself!

PumpMyStomach matches her fellow Housewives with their canine counterparts…except Yoda and herself!

 

 

DrunkOtis Says HagfaceKyle Is To Blame For Everything!

DrunkOtis is making the media rounds to garner support for her actions against HagfaceKyle and, most importantly, to gin up some interest for viewers to tune in to the RHOBH!  Interesting that the words “story line” are now freely said re the HWs “reality” shows.  We at SH have been chatting about the obvious story lines on Housewives shows for years, despite the many Housewives who claim that everything on their show is all REAL!  The Housewives’ “reality” is created, planned, scripted and agreed upon with the Housewives long before the cameras start filming…  

NOTE:  WHY does KimRichards need DrunkOtis to defend her against ANYONE, let alone HagfaceKyle? 

MORE About RHOBH Eileen “AshleyAbbott” Davidson…

Ironic that a soap actress is playing a soap actress on a “reality” show which took over the soaps and are blamed for their demise…

GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY: You Stole My House!!

HagfaceKyle never saw it coming when Kimbecile threw out the house stealing accusation!  Kim explains…

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Dog Bite Lawsuit Filed Against Kim AND Bravo!

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NOTE:  This item re Kimbecile’s attack dog, Kingsley, is from OKCFriday. Attorney Bill Zuhdi has filed a lawsuit in California Federal Court against a cast member of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and Bravo, the network which televises the … Continue reading