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Real Housewives: Stoopid Housewives Stuff… 6-27-11 Update

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Update on earlier post regarding RHOBH shooting in Hawaii… here.  Kim Richards with her unidentified boyfriend(!?)… Kim needs some booty pads.  Shana/TraylorTrash is not included in these photos of the RHOBH filming in Hawaii.   Maybe she’s in rehab… maybe … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New York: Jill Zarin and Bobby Zarin… Can Dish It, But Can’t Take It

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On Thursday’s Real Housewives of New York, Bobby Zarin took Simon van Kempen aside during the last few minutes of the show to speak with him about ‘that internet blogger‘… ‘that hate blogger,‘ as Bawbee described the site. ‘That internet … Continue reading

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Giudice Advice for Under 50!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND SAVE THE DATE!!!!

Tree Joo-dice is ‘teaching’ all she knows at The Learning Annex from 7 to 9 pm in midtown Manhattan on January 12, 2011 for $44.95!

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Tree will be ‘instructing’ attendees how to:

  • become a reality star
  • be a faithful wife,
  • know the difference between marble and onyx,
  • be a dependable friend,
  • walk the red carpet,
  • avoid jail time,
  • lift recipes,
  • hide stacks of cash in a Fendi clutch,
  • pose cockheaded,
  • live your entire life with abnormal eyes,
  • throw away cookies given by your relatives,
  •  cover your hairline,
  • make your children look better with humongous headbands,
  •  scream,
  • attack your boss,
  • make millions with a stucco company,

AND…

  • fake your degree,
  • get free trips to It-ly,
  • sign real estate documents,
  • avoid court-ordered auctions,
  • make your husband think he’s handsome,
  • get free clothes,
  • believe your husband’s DUI stories,
  • sprint in a country club,
  •  hide your parents in the basement,
  • know your tanning machine settings,
  •  make pizza dough,
  • accept a canary diamond ring,
  • scam the federal government,
  •  make your friends babysit,
  •  try to speak I-talian,
  • avoid bill collectors,
  •  drive an architect insane,
  • get discounts for paying cash,
  •  find hideous door ornaments,

AND…

  • cheat a business partner,
  • smile while your car is repossessed,
  • be your sister-in-law’s worst nightmare,
  • know the exact time of the month to crush tomatoes,
  • hide a canary diamond ring,
  • get your ‘fans’ to buy anything,
  • max out credit cards,
  • deny knowledge of owning property,
  • start a fight,
  • lie through your teeth on a daytime talk show,
  • let your friend take the blame for starting a fight,

AND…

  • build an ugly house,
  • keep calm when your 6-ft vase shatters,
  •  push out a baby by saying ‘ouch’,
  • think you can model clothes,
  •  copy another reality star’s book title,
  • make your friends walk up Mt. Vesuvius,
  • dress your children in distasteful but expensive clothing,
  • correctly walk into a courthouse,
  •  show off your designer dinner plates,
  • announce that you will be appearing on Dancing With the Stars (but you know you won’t)
  • …and much more.

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Tree’s seminar will be moderated by Rob Shuter of Popeater, Tree’s personal PR puppy. I’m sure Tree needs a ‘moderator’ to ‘evaluate’ the questions before presenting them for Tree to answer… you know, all the really good stuff that you would pay almost $50 to ask Tree, like what’s going on with the bankruptcy, is Joe drunk all the time, did he like jail and does he have a love child?… those types of questions will be tossed out by the ‘moderator’. However, she WILL be sharing some details about what goes on behind the scenes of RHONJ….WOO-HOO!

According the The Learning Annex, “Teresa is a hero to modern women because of her fabulous style, her positive attitude, and her effusive love for her family. Even in the chaos of childrearing, working, and filming a television show, she still makes time to make homemade meals.

Well, Tree must have some brain for time management, because I cannot understand how she will do all this in a 2-hour period! If anyone can shed some light on how she does all this, please share.

Tree’s Learning Annex class… here.