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MELISSA GORGA: Messy Lookin’ For Sympathy… What Will Melissa Do For Her Very Ill Aunt?… Will Melissa Charge Tickets For A Benefit And Sell Her CDs…As She Did In 2011???

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Melissa Gorga’s relative is ill… she tweeted about it today and is asking for your prayers: After reading Melissa’s tweets, was thoroughly disgusted.  WHY???  Because in 2011, another of Melissa’s aunts, Lorraine Royale, was extremely ill AND financially desperate.  What … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: Takin’ A Look Back At MeGo’s Christmas Party Preparations… With “FabulousFred”

Let’s take a look back at MeGo’s preparation for her 2011 Christmas party… with “FabulousFred.”

“Fabulous Fred stops by to review Melissa Gorga’s Christmas party/event… FabFred said that the party would be at least $50,000… and that was with schlubs for servers.

If Melissa goes with attractive servers who can speak, FabFred’s gonna add another $10000…  Like who has a step and repeat at a Christmas house party???”

 

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FROM THE SH ARCHIVES, JUNE 2012: TERESA GIUDICE Says… Tree, Joe and Melissa Gorga Were ALL Speaking At The Time Of The Christening… VIDEO

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June 20, 2012  7:45 pm  RE-POSTED October 20, 2013 12:50 pm  While looking for something else… an item pertaining to Sonja Morgan no less… came across this interview which Tree gave while promoting her latest cookbook at the time (Fabulous and … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY: Lost Footage Episode… Stooges Go To A Camel Farm… Screech When They See A Cat…

Bravo airs the RHONJ Lost Footage episodes October 14 and 20th.  This is what you’re gonna be in for as you watch the lost adventures of the unsophisticated, unprofessional, unintelligent idiotic stooges from New Jersey wander the US: On an … Continue reading

RHONJ LOST FOOTAGE EPISODE: KimD, Jennifer Dalton Get Some Screen Time!

KimD and Melissa’s friend, Jennifer Dalton get their screen time.  KimD screams at @FlyGirlJennifer about givin’ her kids away… and Jocelyn Wildenstein’s mini-me screams back at KimD about her boyfriend of over 20 years not marrying KimD!

The lost footage episode airs October 20…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Reunion Show, Part I… By Sandi Duffy

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Reunion Show… Part I by Sandi Duffy Finally, and thank you Jesus.  It’s the RHONJ Reunion show.  Let’s begin by analyzing their fashion choices.  Can’t Bravo spring for a stylist for these women?  At … Continue reading

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FROM THE SH ARCHIVES, OCTOBER 2011: Melissa Gorga’s Cousin… “TreyC”, Who Actually CAN Sing!… Missy Turns Down Comparison Interview…

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ORIGINALLY POSTED OCTOBER 14, 2011… almost TWO years ago!!  While looking for TreyC items, found one of the first! TreyC (Tracy Caprioni) has added another single to her repertoire… “Bitter Suite.”     Click to listen to…  Bitter Suite  (Keep in mind, that … Continue reading

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FROM THE SH ARCHIVES… RHONJ RECAP: Season Three, Episode 18 … “Blood Is Thicker Than Guccis”… HAS ANYTHING CHANGED IN TWO YEARS?

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ORIGINALLY POSTED OCTOBER 6, 2011… TWO Years Ago!! HAS ANYTHING CHANGED????                                                            … Continue reading

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TERESA GIUDICE: Tree’s RHONJ Finale BravoBlog… Penny DID NOT Do Tree’s Hair! … It’s Easy To Get Tree’s Phone Number!!…Playin’ the “MOM Card”…BUY MY STUFF!!!… Read Judge Stern’s Opinion Letter; Says Much About Joodice’s Bankruptcy Fraud… Owed IVF Doctor $11,768.62!

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Bravo…another ghostwritten BravoBlog… Hello Sweethearts! I can’t believe another season is over. And I can’t believe it ended like the last two did: with everyone trying to blame me and make me apologize. I’ve apologized more times than I can … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: Ghostwriter Will Prolly Take Blame… MORE Amazon Customer Reviews!!

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Imagine what’s goin’ on in da Gorga house right now!  JoGo and MeGo are probably bickering over who allowed what to be included in Missy’s book…and, they’re probably blamin’ it all on ValFrankel, Missy’s ghostwriter! When confronted with the “your … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA, JOE GORGA: Rules For Sex…And MORE Great “Advice” To Have That “Hot and Happy” Marriage!

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Had to read this before putting it on SH. Here goes!! According to JoeGorga: Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: The Never-Ending Amusement From MeGo’s Amazon Customer Reviews!!

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Just had to check on Melissa Gorga’s book reviews on Amazon!  The reviews are a great source of amusement…not only amusing, but very informational! Did you know that there are books to be purchased in the category of “collectible”… ?? … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap: Season Five, Episode Seventeen… “Hair We Go Again”

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap Season Five Episode Seventeen “Hair We Go Again” by Sandi Duffy Jacqueline and Teresa are BFFs again.  They go shopping at Kim Ds store. Penny is saying that Teresa put her up to everything. … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: UPDATE…MeGo’s Amusing Amazon Reviews…AND… LV Bridal Expo Scrubs MeGo From Their Site…

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The customer reviews for Melissa Gorga’s marriage “advice” book have been streamin’ in at Amazon.  At last count, there were 86 reviews… there are now 119 for “Love Italian Style: The Secrets To My HOT and HAPPY Marriage.” After comparing … Continue reading

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KIMD ASKS…Who REALLY Started Those “Damn Melissa” Rumors??… RHONJ Finale “Stilleto-Gate” Will Be A “Two-Parter”…

KimD asks this: “Question. At Chakra, why does Melissa act so happy when she walks over to Penny at the bar? If she and Joe really believe Penny is the one who is actually spreading these rumors why act so … Continue reading

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo and JoGo on Dr. Oz… The AFTER Show!!…AND… “Love I-Talian Style” Responsible For D-I-V-O-R-C-E!!

RHONJ Gorga Horse Whisperer pg

After their embarrassing Dr.OZ appearance, playin’ a very bad version of TheNewlywedGame which they LOST, da Gorgas made a very special video, sharing their top three tips for keepin’ that love tank full!  Apparently, their playing the MarriageGame was in lieu of MeGo talkin’ about her book… actions speak louder than words!  Their actions showed how much they didn’t know each other!

For you all who really think that MeGo’s hair is real, check out that piece that is out of place as you watch this… just like her hubbend, MeGo has fake hair!   AND… could JoGo possibly get a tighter shirt??  TheHulk he is not!  Poor JoGo needs Danielle to take him shopping ala DannyPro!

There is a customer review on Amazon… showing that MeGo’s book has the distinction of bein’ the first Housewife book to cause a DIVORCE!

“Do NOT buy this Book!!!!!!  I am NOW GETTING DIVORCED because of this book!!! I recently bought this book and took it very seriously as I am just recently married and was desperate to have a hot,sexy, happy marriage like Melissa and Joe.

One of Melissa’s strategies in her book for a great marriage was never ever let your new husband know you POOP! Well my husband my recently laid off and was at home while he was looking for a new job and I REALLY had to poop so bad but couldn’t get away from him. I figured I would wait till he went to sleep to poop.

As I was sitting on my hubby’s lap caressing his head like I always do, my tummy started to rumble and before I knew it I POOPED MY PANTS right on his lap!!! He was so mortified he ran out of the house said he needed to get some milk at the store and has NOT been seen since!! I would NOT recommend this book to anyone suffering with bowel issues! ugh.”

Tammy Wynette… 1973…

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Amazon Customer Reviews… The Gift That Keeps On Giving!!!… “Useless Marriage Advice”… Joe Gorga Had To “Break Her Down” To Marry Him!

RHONJ TREE CHUCKY BOOK COVER SH II

OOPS!!!  Wrong book cover!!!

JAX BOOK COVER 6.17.12

OOPS!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!  

DONCARO SH BOOK COVER

OH NO!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!!

MELISSA BOOK COVER HH

OOOOPS ANOTHER wrong book cover!!

Here’s the right one…

RHONJ MELISSA BOOK  cover ARROW

The number of customer reviews for MeGo’s “love and marriage” book on Amazon has jumped from 48 to a new total of 86!   Yes, there were only 48 yesterday!  FORTY new reviews in 24 hours!

66…SIXTY-SIX… outta that eighty-six are ONE star reviews!  Those FIVE-star reviewers are attempting to keep up with the total annihilation goin’ on at Amazon, but they may as well accept defeat!

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Some interesting categories!!

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These are just a few of the NEW customer reviews:

  • I can’t believe this book was actually published! Don’t publishers check the work first? I thought the title was cute and wasn’t expecting a master piece, just some simple entertainment. After reading the first chapter, I had to go back and read it again. I couldn’t believe how it had been written! Very choppy and no continuity. Don’t get me started on the grammar. I felt like I needed a red pen to start correcting things! Kind of like my kids middle school book reports. I never did finish the book, my head was killing me. Life is too short to waste time on this book. I feel cheated out of fifteen bucks and my time for someone else’s gain.
  • I think that the publishing house should be ashamed and called out publicly for publishing this tripe. I do believe that this may be the worst book I have ever read. There is no shame in meeting your husband while you worked in a Gentleman’s Club that he frequented. There is no shame in marrying a man for his money and then falling in love with him. But, even the true version of her life prior to being on RHONJ would have been boring. I was not expecting a literary masterpiece. But, as a teacher, I wanted to slash nearly every sentence with a red pen, until I got so exasperated I could read no more. How in the world did this woman get into college. She mangles the English language as if she was angry at it. As to the content of the book and her hot and happy marriage. I am surprise a woman with three children could be so immature, shallow and vapid. If she really believes this idiocy that she writes about, which is the antithesis of feminism and reality in 2013, then she won’t be married much longer. She truly does not know what love is. And that is very sad.
  • Shame on whoever green-lighted this book as a favor to Bravo. Have some standards.
  • This book is ridiculous. Everything she says contradicts what she said on Tv & in Magazines. She didn’t get married until 2004 & met Joe in 2003. In the book she says she married Joe in 2000. She is so fake & is the biggest liar I know. There is nothing in this book that is even true. It is a work of fiction. Her marriage is a joke. Don’t waste your money on this farce of a book!!
  • She sounds like a cat in heat but even her singing is better than this garbage. I think maybe one of her kids helped her to write it because it appears it was written by a 5 year old. She is in love, I will give her that, but not with Joe the worm. She is madly in love with herself. I am still trying to figure out how she got a publisher to publish this nonsense. Stick to being a wife and mom Melissa, you have no other talents. Don’t waste your money on this. I could barely get through it but I read it in an appropriate place, the bathroom. Too bad I couldn’t flush it.
  • You want some essential newly wed advice from this fabulous book? POOP!!!! Yes, poop. Apparently you aren’t supposed to let your husband know you do it, nor are you supposed to let him know you grow hair on your legs and armpits. Human women are so last year! Why have a breathing female when you can have a fake one, right Melissa Gorga? Don’t forget not to poop!
  • This book made my IQ drop 20 points!!! I never liked her on the show and thought she was a big fake but got her book just to see if I can find another side to her and maybe she can b honest in her book…guess not all boring crap that I didn’t care to read ! U can tell that everything she writes is just as fake as she is on the show! Whoever gave her a book deal is crazy! The language and grammar is that of a 8th grader ..with all her money she should have paid for some1 to write the book for her! Good thing I read the book in an hour because I’m bringing it right back to the store ..I refuse to pay for crap !
  • Since I’m just learning to read books with lots of pages, my tutor thought this would be a good starter book for me. Before I started, I shaved my pits & legs, gave myself a good bikini waxing, threw on some yoga pants, and put on a super hot top over my to small push-up bra. I also ordered Chinese food & put it on a plate for when my man came home. I wrote a quick note to my “King” on the napkin next to the Chinese food. The note said, “Dear King, This is your queen, I’ve shaved, haven’t pooped , and prepared this meal for you. You can find me in my recording studio, reading my first book with lots of pages. Your Devoted, Queen.”   I don’t understand all the hateful reviews. For a first time reader, I found the sentence structure to be very simple. Perhaps this book should be required reading for middle school girls. My favorite part of the book was, “Loin & The Ram: A Wild Love Story”. Who doesn’t love a great zodiac story! I hope Melissa Gorga’s second book with lots of pages in it, has more zodiac stories.   If you haven’t read this yet, download some of Melissa’s iTunes songs, strap on some headphones, and engross yourself in the tale that Melissa Gorga wove. Just be sure to properly groom yourself and put some Chinese food on a plate for your “King”.

 

SH reader @JenGotClassNass contributed to the literary lashing…

RHONJ Melissa gorga amazon review

Just to be fair, a sampling of the FIVE star reviews:

  • I love Melissa and Joe and I read this book in a day. Their marriage is similar to mine and I agree with most of what she says. I enjoyed it. Not sure why there is so much hate going on. If you aren’t happy in your marriage you should take some pointers instead of saying nasty things. Hmm…
  • They are a perfect couple! In addition to all the fascinating background information, Melissa also shares fashion and beauty tips and advice. I love getting the inside scoop! So fun that Melissa included her make up artist in her book! (I hope he writes his own book one day…soon!)   I was also happy to find the book is completely in Melissa’s voice. It sounds like her when I read it.   I didn’t get the feeling there was a ghost writer involved with this at all.

NOTE:  Nice try to quash those ghostwriter questions!  ‘Cause everybody knows that MeGo slaved away, writing EVERY night curled up in a corner of her sofa from exactly 10 pm to 2 am!  

Maybe that last reviewer didn’t get the “FEELING”… but, as EVERYONE knows, MeGo’s book was written by the same ghostwriter who wrote Snooki’s Pulitzer-prize-winning books… Valerie Frankel, as mentioned on SH back in December!  Val’s dream is to write a NYTimes Bestseller.  YO!  Val!!  Creep on over to TreeJoodice’s marble mausoleum…heard she’s looking for someone to collect more recipes for her next cookbook!   Somehow it always winds it’s way back to Tree… poor MeGo!!

 

RHONJ Melissa Gorga pg

JoeyMarco Gorga has been in love with PoopyPiggyMeGo since he laid eyes on her…  AAWWWWW.  Raise your hand if you, too, fell in love with MeGo since layin’ eyes on her.   Thank you, Johnny… you can put your hand down now.  We can see your hand… the room temp has dropped 15 degrees  from your hand wavin’!  Down, Johnny… down!!

JoGo had to “break her down” to marry him?  What an accomplishment!!  When there’s wife #2, JoGo will know better…     

RHONJ Gorga book cover

(Thanks to SH readers “PMG” “@JenGotClassNass” and “HousewifeHoe”!!!!)

WINNER, WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!! Winner Of Melissa/Joe Gorga/Crooksy Caption Contest!!

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There is a WINNER!!  Reader “dDisher” came up with the winning caption:

Says Crooksy:  “Melissa paid me fifty grand for these lips.  If I can catch another one, Vicki can have vaginal reconstruction.”

“dDisher” gets a huge round of applause!!  Thank you, dDisher!!

 

To see ALL the great caption entries, please see SH September 14 2013.

Thank you to all who submitted their worthy-of-winning caption!!

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Book… Amazon ONE-Star Reviews Are In!!

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Yes, MeGo’s book… the one she’s been pushin’ on her BravoBlog for months… has finally been released and the customer reviews are in at Amazon.com!

22 out of the 28 reviews gave MeGo’s marriage book a ONE star rating…

RHONJ gorga book reviews amazon

These are just a few…

  • “Melissa is too full of herself and although nine years of marriage is a great step, it is still nothing monumental to say “I have all the answers to make anyone’s marriage hot!” Truth be told, through this book and on tv, her husband is naturally totally inlove with her and they have their fights and bad times like everyone else. This book is just her own package to make some extra money to pretend she has some secret we all don’t know, but there is no secret. BUT if you want to just read a biography about her life, then this is the book for you. Personally, she can seem annoying and conceited and a bit full of herself in this book…but whatever.”
  • “That’s rich, Teresa’ sister-in-law would write a book about family. She clawed her way on to national television to destroy her in-laws. She even attacked her own nieces. This woman has no scruples, ethics or morals.
  • “I read the first chapter online and it was a joke. She wants us to believe that all the girls in school were jealous of her. That’s the same crap she peddles on Jersey Housewives! Because she falsely accuses others of what she is indeed guilty of I don’t believe anything she says.”   Content aside, this book strains credulity in that was even published with it’s inept, nonsensical editing.As for the content, if you are familiar with the Bravo show she is on you can clearly see her relationship with her husband is shallow and all for the cameras. Her book does nothing to dispel this impression. Do not waste your money!”
  • “Marriage advice from someone married less than my 20 year marriage? LOL You are not qualified to give advice, to sing, to dance, to act, to give decor advice, beauty tips etc. AT ALL. EVER.  It would be like taking peace advice from Idi Amin, humility lessons from Madonna, how to be charitable from Imelda Marcos, relationship advice from Terrence Howard or financial advice from Heidi & Spencer. I think you get the idea.  I NEVER will buy anything from anyone affiliated with RHONJ show other than Teresa Guidice. Everyone but her can’t be taken seriously.  Your publisher and music manager are as clueless as you if they think they can fool anyone with the joke that is your book or music. If it wasn’t so laughable and pathetic it would be insulting.  Get a clue and get off the Teresa show.  A forever non fan of yours.”
  • “Nothing about Melissa screams ‘love Italian style’. Italians love big and they love hard , they put their family first . Not just Italians , but all good people in general strive to do this . Melissa on the other hand is 34 years old,ready and willing to give up time with her family to gyrate and lip-sync in trashy NJ clubs while her disgusting sister babysits . A good person would not turn their husband against his own sister out of jealousy and want for control . Tell me Melissa, why should ANYWAY take your advice or want to emulate your marriage?”

Just to be fair, let’s take a look at one of the FIVE-star ratings, which were all like this… all pushin’ the book:

  • “Stop what you’re doing and place your order. This book is a Must Have by all means!! Everything you want to read about and more!!”

We’re givin’ MeGo’s book 937,208,939 Kens…

(Thanks to SH reader “ScottS”!!!)

TERESA GIUDICE: Tree’s BravoBlog… Tree is DONE!… “When You’re On TV People Want What You Have”… Gorgas “Freaked Out” By New Cast Members… BUY MY STUFF!!

Bravo…  Tree’s ghostwritten BravoBlog… we GET IT!!

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Hello Baby Dolls!

Another roller coaster episode, right? I loved seeing everyone together again. I wish it could stay that way forever! Unfortunately when you’re on TV, people want what you have. They want to be on TV too and they’ll do anything to make it happen or they just want to take you down because they’re sick of watching you. I get it. I’ve seen it happen now on every season of every Housewives show in every city. It’s not fun to be the target, but it comes with the territory. The problem is when newer cast members join and get attacked, they can freak out like Melissa and Joey were. You have to stay united and refuse to let any strangers break you down. But I get that it’s hard. It shouldn’t be hard for family to believe family over strangers, but…

I’m definitely not happy to see where this season is going based on how Melissa and Joey are reacting to the rumors. It’s all my fault again. I get it. It’s easier to blame their own sister/sister-in-law than it is to blame a stranger. It sounds strange, but here’s why.

First of all, blaming me takes all of the emphasis off the actual rumors. Instead of anyone looking into those, they’re all busy looking at me. Fine, deflect away. I’m here for you.  NOTE:  We’re givin’ the side eye to those “rumors”… not ALL the rumors!

Second, going after family is safe. They know I will never do anything to them. With a stranger, you can’t be so sure. They don’t want to go after Penny because she might take it to a whole new level. Easier to befriend her, right? I wouldn’t be looking to make BFFs with someone who was talking to my ex-boyfriend and threatening to expose rumors about me, but that’s just me.  NOTE:  It’s difficult to sort out who’s friends with whom!  As for Penny publicly communicating with Aarater and BulldogNJ, if you want to believe it all, that is up to you.  IMO, the whole thing stinks ala RoxyPoxyGirl.  Bulldog now can’t put out his expose re MeGo because attys are stopping him?  Let’s see the legal documents!   RoxyPoxyGirl did the exact same thing… guess Bravo/whoever is tweeting thinks viewers forgot about RoxyPoxy!

And third, family will always forgive you, and they know it. Family will always be there. To save themselves, they feel like they have to throw me under the bus. I don’t like it but I can’t do anything about it. They are going to believe what they want to believe. Their beliefs make no sense to me — they don’t believe Penny one minute and the next they do. Pick one! They already confronted Penny at the Youthful 8 Milania Collection launch party and she told them I had nothing to do with it. But it wasn’t enough for them. They had to keep going after her. Why? And when they did, suddenly Penny changed her mind that I had something to do with it. Why would she suddenly do that? Why didn’t she say that when I was right in front of her?

But it’s how they’ve chosen to deal with this and I can’t seem to stop them. I’ve done everything I could possibly do, and now I’m done. Done.

I was very happy to go support Kathy at Dylan’s Candy Bar with my 4 daughters. They had a great time! Love to see people’s success!

I was also so happy  Jacqueline asked me to help her with her speech. It wasn’t as random as you might think because in November I had just given my own first big speech at the NephCure Countdown to the Cure Fundraiser at Capitale in NYC (www.nephcure.org). It was a black-tie affair with tons of press and I was so so so nervous. But I worked it out and was excited to help Jacqueline work hers out too.

I love Nicholas and so does Joe. Since Nick and Audriana were born so close together, Joe always looked at Nicholas like sort of a son too. We missed him a lot.

Finally, did you see my new Skinny Italian food line? I loved the visit to the showroom with my husband, mom, and mother-in-law. I’m so lucky to have such a supportive husband and parents. I love them so much! I’m so excited for you all to try Skinny Italian Foods! It’s all imported from Italy and so so amazing! We have 7 different artisan pastas — the closest thing to homemade pasta you can get. Our Extra Virgin Olive Oil is harvested exclusively from Calabria, and you can get a beautiful mix of Mediterranean Olives (Calcidica Sweet & Salted, Nocellara del Belice) as well. The Skinny Italian Balsamic Ketchup is perfect for marinating the flank steak recipe in my “Fabulicious! On the Grill” and it’s great on hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets… once you try Balsamic Ketchup, you’ll never go back to regular! We also have a home-style fresh marinara sauce that you can use instead of the Quickie Sauce in all of my recipes. Go to http://www.skinnyitalianfoods.com/ to order some today!

You can get my four cookbooks in your local bookstore or on Amazon.

Skinny Italian is all super healthy Mediterranean diet food and can help you lose weight:http://amzn.to/155wZDJ

Fabulicious! is my favorite family recipes, great for entertaining company:http://amzn.to/11udlV3

Fabulicious! Fast & Fit are all low-fat, super-easy recipes with 10 ingredients or less that go from start to stove in less than 30 minutes: http://amzn.to/N4lSDV

And Fabulicious! On the Grill are my favorite outdoor entertaining recipes:http://amzn.to/RtCq8e

Thank you all so much for your support! It means the world to me!

Tanti Baci,
Teresa xx

www.teresagiudice.com
Twitter: @Teresa_Giudice