Gallery

MELISSA GORGA: What The Hell Did MeGo Do To Her Face… Again???

This gallery contains 5 photos.

What the hell is Melissa Gorga doin’ to her face?? MeGo was posin’ with her plastic surgeon…after her very obvious lip-plumpin’ injections and cheek implants!  Did MeGo have a boob job, too? A look at the many faces of Melissa! … Continue reading

About these ads
Gallery

MELISSA GORGA: The Never-Ending Amusement From MeGo’s Amazon Customer Reviews!!

This gallery contains 5 photos.

Just had to check on Melissa Gorga’s book reviews on Amazon!  The reviews are a great source of amusement…not only amusing, but very informational! Did you know that there are books to be purchased in the category of “collectible”… ?? … Continue reading

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Preview: PART III… Melissa and Joe Gorga Go To Johnny’s House!

RHONJ Part III...  da Gorgas are in Orlando!!  MeGo will be doin’ a live performance for radio station XL1067… but, remember… her performance will be scrubbed from the intrawebby!

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Amazon Customer Reviews… The Gift That Keeps On Giving!!!… “Useless Marriage Advice”… Joe Gorga Had To “Break Her Down” To Marry Him!

RHONJ TREE CHUCKY BOOK COVER SH II

OOPS!!!  Wrong book cover!!!

JAX BOOK COVER 6.17.12

OOPS!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!  

DONCARO SH BOOK COVER

OH NO!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!!

MELISSA BOOK COVER HH

OOOOPS ANOTHER wrong book cover!!

Here’s the right one…

RHONJ MELISSA BOOK  cover ARROW

The number of customer reviews for MeGo’s “love and marriage” book on Amazon has jumped from 48 to a new total of 86!   Yes, there were only 48 yesterday!  FORTY new reviews in 24 hours!

66…SIXTY-SIX… outta that eighty-six are ONE star reviews!  Those FIVE-star reviewers are attempting to keep up with the total annihilation goin’ on at Amazon, but they may as well accept defeat!

RHONJ Melissa Gorga amazon reviews arrow

Some interesting categories!!

RHONJ melissa gorga amazon review categories arrow

These are just a few of the NEW customer reviews:

  • I can’t believe this book was actually published! Don’t publishers check the work first? I thought the title was cute and wasn’t expecting a master piece, just some simple entertainment. After reading the first chapter, I had to go back and read it again. I couldn’t believe how it had been written! Very choppy and no continuity. Don’t get me started on the grammar. I felt like I needed a red pen to start correcting things! Kind of like my kids middle school book reports. I never did finish the book, my head was killing me. Life is too short to waste time on this book. I feel cheated out of fifteen bucks and my time for someone else’s gain.
  • I think that the publishing house should be ashamed and called out publicly for publishing this tripe. I do believe that this may be the worst book I have ever read. There is no shame in meeting your husband while you worked in a Gentleman’s Club that he frequented. There is no shame in marrying a man for his money and then falling in love with him. But, even the true version of her life prior to being on RHONJ would have been boring. I was not expecting a literary masterpiece. But, as a teacher, I wanted to slash nearly every sentence with a red pen, until I got so exasperated I could read no more. How in the world did this woman get into college. She mangles the English language as if she was angry at it. As to the content of the book and her hot and happy marriage. I am surprise a woman with three children could be so immature, shallow and vapid. If she really believes this idiocy that she writes about, which is the antithesis of feminism and reality in 2013, then she won’t be married much longer. She truly does not know what love is. And that is very sad.
  • Shame on whoever green-lighted this book as a favor to Bravo. Have some standards.
  • This book is ridiculous. Everything she says contradicts what she said on Tv & in Magazines. She didn’t get married until 2004 & met Joe in 2003. In the book she says she married Joe in 2000. She is so fake & is the biggest liar I know. There is nothing in this book that is even true. It is a work of fiction. Her marriage is a joke. Don’t waste your money on this farce of a book!!
  • She sounds like a cat in heat but even her singing is better than this garbage. I think maybe one of her kids helped her to write it because it appears it was written by a 5 year old. She is in love, I will give her that, but not with Joe the worm. She is madly in love with herself. I am still trying to figure out how she got a publisher to publish this nonsense. Stick to being a wife and mom Melissa, you have no other talents. Don’t waste your money on this. I could barely get through it but I read it in an appropriate place, the bathroom. Too bad I couldn’t flush it.
  • You want some essential newly wed advice from this fabulous book? POOP!!!! Yes, poop. Apparently you aren’t supposed to let your husband know you do it, nor are you supposed to let him know you grow hair on your legs and armpits. Human women are so last year! Why have a breathing female when you can have a fake one, right Melissa Gorga? Don’t forget not to poop!
  • This book made my IQ drop 20 points!!! I never liked her on the show and thought she was a big fake but got her book just to see if I can find another side to her and maybe she can b honest in her book…guess not all boring crap that I didn’t care to read ! U can tell that everything she writes is just as fake as she is on the show! Whoever gave her a book deal is crazy! The language and grammar is that of a 8th grader ..with all her money she should have paid for some1 to write the book for her! Good thing I read the book in an hour because I’m bringing it right back to the store ..I refuse to pay for crap !
  • Since I’m just learning to read books with lots of pages, my tutor thought this would be a good starter book for me. Before I started, I shaved my pits & legs, gave myself a good bikini waxing, threw on some yoga pants, and put on a super hot top over my to small push-up bra. I also ordered Chinese food & put it on a plate for when my man came home. I wrote a quick note to my “King” on the napkin next to the Chinese food. The note said, “Dear King, This is your queen, I’ve shaved, haven’t pooped , and prepared this meal for you. You can find me in my recording studio, reading my first book with lots of pages. Your Devoted, Queen.”   I don’t understand all the hateful reviews. For a first time reader, I found the sentence structure to be very simple. Perhaps this book should be required reading for middle school girls. My favorite part of the book was, “Loin & The Ram: A Wild Love Story”. Who doesn’t love a great zodiac story! I hope Melissa Gorga’s second book with lots of pages in it, has more zodiac stories.   If you haven’t read this yet, download some of Melissa’s iTunes songs, strap on some headphones, and engross yourself in the tale that Melissa Gorga wove. Just be sure to properly groom yourself and put some Chinese food on a plate for your “King”.

 

SH reader @JenGotClassNass contributed to the literary lashing…

RHONJ Melissa gorga amazon review

Just to be fair, a sampling of the FIVE star reviews:

  • I love Melissa and Joe and I read this book in a day. Their marriage is similar to mine and I agree with most of what she says. I enjoyed it. Not sure why there is so much hate going on. If you aren’t happy in your marriage you should take some pointers instead of saying nasty things. Hmm…
  • They are a perfect couple! In addition to all the fascinating background information, Melissa also shares fashion and beauty tips and advice. I love getting the inside scoop! So fun that Melissa included her make up artist in her book! (I hope he writes his own book one day…soon!)   I was also happy to find the book is completely in Melissa’s voice. It sounds like her when I read it.   I didn’t get the feeling there was a ghost writer involved with this at all.

NOTE:  Nice try to quash those ghostwriter questions!  ‘Cause everybody knows that MeGo slaved away, writing EVERY night curled up in a corner of her sofa from exactly 10 pm to 2 am!  

Maybe that last reviewer didn’t get the “FEELING”… but, as EVERYONE knows, MeGo’s book was written by the same ghostwriter who wrote Snooki’s Pulitzer-prize-winning books… Valerie Frankel, as mentioned on SH back in December!  Val’s dream is to write a NYTimes Bestseller.  YO!  Val!!  Creep on over to TreeJoodice’s marble mausoleum…heard she’s looking for someone to collect more recipes for her next cookbook!   Somehow it always winds it’s way back to Tree… poor MeGo!!

 

RHONJ Melissa Gorga pg

JoeyMarco Gorga has been in love with PoopyPiggyMeGo since he laid eyes on her…  AAWWWWW.  Raise your hand if you, too, fell in love with MeGo since layin’ eyes on her.   Thank you, Johnny… you can put your hand down now.  We can see your hand… the room temp has dropped 15 degrees  from your hand wavin’!  Down, Johnny… down!!

JoGo had to “break her down” to marry him?  What an accomplishment!!  When there’s wife #2, JoGo will know better…     

RHONJ Gorga book cover

(Thanks to SH readers “PMG” “@JenGotClassNass” and “HousewifeHoe”!!!!)

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo On TodayShow…

TodayShow Really??  That’s how you keep your book “interesting”?  Shades of Snooki-level audience appeal… love Hoda’s reaction!

MeGo will be hitting all the outlets in MissAndy’sNYMediaMafia, so don’t expect any new info… just like Tree, she has her interview answers well rehearsed!

(Thanks to SH reader “romo”!!!)

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY: Melissa Gorga… “You Have Been Seein’…”

On tonight’s RHONJ… MeGo’s “friend,” Jan, knows sunthin’!  Has MeGo been seein’ someone?  Is it Bryan Bowen @bulldog_NJ?  OR … the latest “friend of Missy”… Anthony Arater @Aarater???

NOTE:  OMG! Rec’d huge news that “BulldogBryan” finally talked!  What a joke… he talked, alright… and said NOTHING!  “Can’t say anything now, but stay tuned”… Who will be this season’s RoxyPoxyGirl?  Bulldog or Anthony?

Gallery

MELISSA GORGA: What’s MeGo Doin’ At JT/JZ Concert?

This gallery contains 3 photos.

@MelissaGorga will be at the JT/JZ concert tonight at Yankee Stadium… MeGo mysteriously omits what she’ll be doing at the concert.  Is she going to audition as a backup singer… or a backup dancer?   Someone should tell her to stop … Continue reading

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY: Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice… Giacinto Gorga In Hospital… Who Was There??

Bravo Tree’s father… hospital… MeGo…didn’t go… did go… did she?

Gallery

MELISSA GORGA: Sellin’ That Vodka and Those T-Shirts!!…AND… What’s The “AMAZING News”???

This gallery contains 7 photos.

According to @MelissaGorga… she will be appearing tonight pushin’ her vodka in Ledgewood NJ. BUT… before you head out to get a glimpse of MeGo, she’s also imploring her followers to BUY her t-shirts! MeGo’s assortment of overpriced bedazzled threads … Continue reading

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Back From Jamaica… Now Pushin’ Coffee!.. VIDEO

November 29, 2012   Melissa Gorga is as useful as a car crash dummy in this infomercial for Tyler’sCoffee.  Oh, you never heard of Tyler’sCoffee?  By the looks of MeGo’s body language, it appears that she hasn’t either!   Take the appearance fee money and run, MeGo…

Really… is anyone gonna buy this coffee simply because a Housewife shows up?  Poor Tyler!

Gallery

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo Ranks on List of “HottestRealityStars”…

This gallery contains 2 photos.

October 22, 2012   4:44 pm   “I’m hot…” Complex Magazine has compiled their list of “hottest reality stars”… and MeGo has taken the #2 spot. There is no explanation as to HOW this list is compiled… by whom… and … Continue reading

Gallery

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY: Takin’ A Video Tour… The Early Years… VIDEO

This gallery contains 1 photo.

September 1, 2012  6:00 pm  Real Housewives of New Jersey… thanks to “HousewifeHoe“!! After many asking about the possibility of Danielle Staub appearing on the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Four Reunion Show… found it enlightening, and very time … Continue reading

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo Sets The Record Straight… Says No Financial Issues…Feud With Tree Is “Waste of Time”… VIDEO

Gallery

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Melissa Gorga… Spend New Year’s With Melissa and Joe!

This gallery contains 1 photo.

Where will YOU be spending New Year’s Eve? If you are in the Miami area, you could be spending New Year’s with the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Melissa Gorga and her husband, JoGo! It’s really a bargain at $95 … Continue reading