What BH Housewives Think Of “BigLipsLisa”

These opinions on new Housewife BigLipsLisa were obviously filmed prior to PumpMyStomach’s plastic surgery.  Translation:  blah, blah, blah… blah, blah, blah… big lips… blah, blah, blah

We give this opinion piece 736499374364,33333333 Kens!

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Something About EileenDavidson…

In preparation for EileenDavidson’s debut appearance in her new role as a BH Housewife, her cast mates give their fluff opinions about Eileen.  Kimbecile and BigLipsLisa are missing.  HagfaceKyle gives her best impression of an actress and fails:

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

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KIM RICHARDS’ DOG BITE SAGA CONTINUES: Is “SecondMother” Looking For A Quick $$$$ Settlement?

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NOTE:  WHAT?!?!   Is this “second mother” even more intellectually challenged than KimRichards?  Kim gave Kingsley to a trainer to be TRAINED… of course, the dog will be returned to Kim! As for the lawsuit, it seems that the “second … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

judge-judy-dont-pee-on-my-leg

PumpMyStomach On Kingsley…

PumpMyStomach chimes in on the “Kingsley Bit Me” issue.  As usual, PMS stays true to her passive/aggressive personality.  Saying that pit bulls are “wonderful” animals…BUT… “I think they are instinctually fighting dogs.”  And, maybe for Kim, that’s not the best breed.  Gee, thanks PMS!

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DrunkOtis’ Ghostwritten BORING BravoBlog: PumpMyStomach Still Doesn’t Like Me!

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Hi everyone! It is finally here: the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like it’s been forever, but I’m glad we are back. As you know with these blogs, we write them as to how … Continue reading

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg

Kim Richards Sends Her DeadlyDog to DoggyRehab…

Kim’s prone-to-biting pit bull has been sent to a farm to live his life happily and freely!  Awwww, that would have been a nice story, but Kim doesn’t want Kingsley to go away forever and has found a way to keep her deadly dog.  Kim has sent Kingsley off to doggie rehab.  The dog will stay with a trainer who will wear a full metal mesh body suit while teaching Kim’s dog that it’s not nice to attack people by opening his huge jaw and clamping down on soft tissue until it hits bone bite anyone.   TRAINER TO KINGSLEY:  Do you promise to never bite anyone ever again?  KINGSLEY:  Yes, I promise.  TRAINER:  OK, you’re cured.

RHOBH PREVIEW SNEAK PEEK: HagfaceKyle Talks White Party, Her Kids And Mauricio’s RealEstateCompany

HagfaceKyle tries her best to conquer that lizard-lip-licking habit of hers, but she just can’t… as she talks glowingly about her upcoming white party (stolen from Truman Capote) and all of her kids.  Little does her kid Alexia know that she’s months away from being viciously attacked by a pit bull!

We just hope that THIS guest at HagfaceKyle’s annual white party makes it this year!

I WAS IN HAGFACE KYLE'S KITCHEN… I THINK I WAS

I LOVE HAGFACE KYLE’S WHITE PARTIES!!!  WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS?

RHOBH Premieres Tuesday, November 18…

rhobh cast

DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.

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IS KIM RICHARDS THE FOURTH DOG BITE?

Kim Richards’ dog is reported to have bit four people.  Three are accounted for… the dog trainer, the housekeeper and the niece.  Who is the fourth??

Could the fourth dog injury be Kim herself?  Kim was mysteriously in the hospital three months ago, as no explanation was given as to why she was there!  Kim also posted a message to her dog while she was in the hospital…

kimr

kimr  kimr

HOUSEWIVES STUFF…

COME TO YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS…

MARCHESE TWINS

BATHROOM BOBBY PROMISES A TELL-ALL VIDEO…A REALLY WELL “PRODUCED” VIDEO!  Which means that there will be no video and Bobby is hoping that everyone forgets about his promise of a tell-all video…

rhonj bobby

BOBBY

CAMBER SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE TRUTHY VIDEO… 

AMBER

BUY MY OLD CDs…PLEASE!!

melissa melissa

JILLZ WAS THERE, BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GREAT FRIENDS OF TRUMP, NAYNAY AND TERESA??

jillz trump

AAAWWWW… YODA IS STILL TRYING TO PUSH ALANA’S DRUNK SISTER AS A “SUPER MODEL”!  If it weren’t for their mother, neither would be modeling…

YODA

TERESA STOCKING UP ON SUGAR BEFORE BUYING FROM DANBURY COMMISSARY…

TERESA GIA

MANAGER (IN THE MIDDLE) AND MOTHERS OF GIA’S GROUP…

3TK GIA GROUP

TAMBALLS AND FRIENDS… One EX-Wife and One That Took Ellie’s Spin Classes

tamballs

WARNING:  DO NOT GO INTO KIM RICHARDS’ BEDROOM…

Kay Rozario, whom Kim calls her “second mother, says she was in Kim’s bedroom in March when she reached over the bed and Kingsley attacked her, biting through her hand all the way to the bone. The dog also went for her face but she blocked it with her arm, which was also injured.  Rozario tells TMZ … Kim’s first reaction was, “Please don’t tell anyone. I’ll lose my show.”

Paramedics came and wanted to call animal control, but Rozario talked them out of it and said Kim would handle it.  Rozario tells us Kim has refused to pay any of her medical bills. So she’ll file a lawsuit next week.  NOTE:  It’s no wonder Kim’s nephew didn’t want this dog…and pawned it off on her.

kimr

(Thanks “romo” “FLPhil” and “anon”!!)

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Kim’s Statement About Her Pit Bull… Blames Niece… “Looking Into Options”

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Kyle’s daughter was the FOURTH person Kim’s dog has attacked.   Kim has released this statement, in which she blames her niece for invading Kingsley’s space! “First off let me start by saying the safety and welfare of my family … Continue reading

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Kim’s Dog Bites Kyle’s Kid!

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Been waiting for Kim’s dog to go full-on rogue and knew that there was more to the story about HagfaceKyle’s kid in the hospital. It was Kim’s dog, Kingsley the PIT BULL, that bit Kyle’s kid! The attack occurred early … Continue reading