REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Recap
Season Five Episode Sixteen “The Blonde Drops A Bombshell”
by Sandi Duffy
Oh thank goodness. They are done with Arizona.
Teresa is coming out with her own Skinny Italian food line. I hope it’s better than that slop the Mangos tried peddling from the Brownstone.
Do any of the men on this show actually work besides Al? They all sit around and talk all the time.
Chris and Jacqueline are milking their autism storyline. Theft are doing something with that sludge they sell and Jacqueline is going to make a speech. I wonder who HER ghostwriter is.
Kathy and Richie are doing something, but no one cares, so I’m not even going to bother to recap this part.
The Guidices and Gorgas are all having lunch together minus Father Gorga, who has kidney stones. I don’t really like the new Joe Guidice, who has somehow been coerced or blackmailed into cooperating with the producer-induced story lines.
Teresa is at Jacqueline’s house to help her with her speech. That’s like Forest Gump helping Corky from Life Goes On write a speech.
Joe Guidice and Rosie seem like BFFs this season. I kind of like the Rosie/Joe dynamic, even if they both think that both men and women have eggs. I think it’s safe to say that no one in this cast is going to find the cure for cancer.
Does Melissa just go around and sing her stupid song everywhere she goes? How is this no talent getting to meet my boyfriend Justin Timberlakes manager? Who is Melissa kidding? She would sell her soul to the devil for a big recording career.
More Kathy and Richie. I’m going to pee and get a snack.
A songwriter and producer comes to Melissa’s studio with “Justin Timberlakes manager”. I would like to point out that with the magic of auto tune, I could sound just as bad as Melissa.
More Kathy and Richie. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.
Damnit! I thought it was going to be a Caroline-free episode, and not only is it NOT Caroline-free episode, but we also get miserable Lauren.
Teresa takes a shot at Kathy by describing her cannolis as “edible”.
Jacqueline is on her way to her big speech. She’s really nervous. She’d probably be less nervous if there was a stripper pole in the room.
The women are idiots trying to play basketball in high heels instead of sneakers.
They only made $3000 at their event. Hell, my late husbands friends, who aren’t on TV, raise more than that every year in a charity golf outing in my husbands name for pancreatic cancer research.
Joe and Melissa are out to dinner and se Penny out. Melissa approaches Penny about the rumors. Penny’s fake hair is horrid. Penny outs Teresa as the source behind the rumors.
Next week on RHONJ…