“I’ll let you on a little secret: I…hate being alone. I think putting on a front was a way to help me get through the days and nights when I was so depressed and pathetically sad.” NOTE: What is sad is that DrunkOtis has never learned to be pleased with herself… pleased enough to be alone with herself. Will this be a story line?? Featuring the return of Dr.NoSocks???
She’s been used for her fame. “More gay men than I care to count have asked me out because they’re hoping dating me would allow them access to all things Housewives…and Bravo,” she writes. “Maybe they were really after Andy [Cohen]?”
NOTE: DrunkOtis had “suitors”???
Her hook-up stories are better than blind items in Page Six.
Part of the fun of reading about Brandi’s exploits isn’t the exploits themselves—but figuring out the IDs of her suitors. (She assigns fake names to them throughout the book.) NOTE: Anyone having “fun” with over-40 DrunkOtis’ “exploits” yet??
- There’s the famous actor, described as the biggest television actor of the ’90s, who had an “incredible appetite” for pleasing Brandi. NOTE: 90’s TV stars: Drew Carey, Kelsey Grammer, Jim Carrey, Scot Baio, Dustin Diamond, David Hasselhoff, George Clooney, John Stamos, Richard Dean Anderson, David Schwimmer, Alec Baldwin, David Duchovny, Ray Romano, JAMES GANDOLFINI, Al Bundy, Will Smith, Paul-Mark Gosselar and Bart Simpson.
- There’s the sober, A-list movie star named “Marty” who has “sparkling” eyes but wasn’t so great in bed. NOTE: Could this be Gerard Butler?
- Then there’s the “actor/rapper/political hopeful” and Oscar-winner with “chiseled abs” and “luscious lips” who “has to special order condoms just to fit him.” NOTE: The X-Small were too big…