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SH BLIND ITEM: Guess The Housewife!… UPDATE: Housewife Revealed!… IT’S KOMA KATHY!!!… And RancidRichie’s EXXON Lawsuit

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Which Housewife was approved to purchase a LOT in Franklin Lakes for just under $700,000??? This Housewife will be in close proximity to another Housewife who is now RENTING in Franklin Lakes.   Much more convenient for camera crews! THIS … Continue reading

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THE OTHER SIDE… So You Wanna Start A Housewives Site…??

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As mentioned several times, have been trying to write a book.  However, it is next to impossible to continue this site and write a book. Have been giving it some very careful thought and have decided that perhaps SH readers … Continue reading

MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Amazon Customer Reviews… The Gift That Keeps On Giving!!!… “Useless Marriage Advice”… Joe Gorga Had To “Break Her Down” To Marry Him!

RHONJ TREE CHUCKY BOOK COVER SH II

OOPS!!!  Wrong book cover!!!

JAX BOOK COVER 6.17.12

OOPS!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!  

DONCARO SH BOOK COVER

OH NO!!!  Another wrong book cover!!!!

MELISSA BOOK COVER HH

OOOOPS ANOTHER wrong book cover!!

Here’s the right one…

RHONJ MELISSA BOOK  cover ARROW

The number of customer reviews for MeGo’s “love and marriage” book on Amazon has jumped from 48 to a new total of 86!   Yes, there were only 48 yesterday!  FORTY new reviews in 24 hours!

66…SIXTY-SIX… outta that eighty-six are ONE star reviews!  Those FIVE-star reviewers are attempting to keep up with the total annihilation goin’ on at Amazon, but they may as well accept defeat!

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Some interesting categories!!

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These are just a few of the NEW customer reviews:

  • I can’t believe this book was actually published! Don’t publishers check the work first? I thought the title was cute and wasn’t expecting a master piece, just some simple entertainment. After reading the first chapter, I had to go back and read it again. I couldn’t believe how it had been written! Very choppy and no continuity. Don’t get me started on the grammar. I felt like I needed a red pen to start correcting things! Kind of like my kids middle school book reports. I never did finish the book, my head was killing me. Life is too short to waste time on this book. I feel cheated out of fifteen bucks and my time for someone else’s gain.
  • I think that the publishing house should be ashamed and called out publicly for publishing this tripe. I do believe that this may be the worst book I have ever read. There is no shame in meeting your husband while you worked in a Gentleman’s Club that he frequented. There is no shame in marrying a man for his money and then falling in love with him. But, even the true version of her life prior to being on RHONJ would have been boring. I was not expecting a literary masterpiece. But, as a teacher, I wanted to slash nearly every sentence with a red pen, until I got so exasperated I could read no more. How in the world did this woman get into college. She mangles the English language as if she was angry at it. As to the content of the book and her hot and happy marriage. I am surprise a woman with three children could be so immature, shallow and vapid. If she really believes this idiocy that she writes about, which is the antithesis of feminism and reality in 2013, then she won’t be married much longer. She truly does not know what love is. And that is very sad.
  • Shame on whoever green-lighted this book as a favor to Bravo. Have some standards.
  • This book is ridiculous. Everything she says contradicts what she said on Tv & in Magazines. She didn’t get married until 2004 & met Joe in 2003. In the book she says she married Joe in 2000. She is so fake & is the biggest liar I know. There is nothing in this book that is even true. It is a work of fiction. Her marriage is a joke. Don’t waste your money on this farce of a book!!
  • She sounds like a cat in heat but even her singing is better than this garbage. I think maybe one of her kids helped her to write it because it appears it was written by a 5 year old. She is in love, I will give her that, but not with Joe the worm. She is madly in love with herself. I am still trying to figure out how she got a publisher to publish this nonsense. Stick to being a wife and mom Melissa, you have no other talents. Don’t waste your money on this. I could barely get through it but I read it in an appropriate place, the bathroom. Too bad I couldn’t flush it.
  • You want some essential newly wed advice from this fabulous book? POOP!!!! Yes, poop. Apparently you aren’t supposed to let your husband know you do it, nor are you supposed to let him know you grow hair on your legs and armpits. Human women are so last year! Why have a breathing female when you can have a fake one, right Melissa Gorga? Don’t forget not to poop!
  • This book made my IQ drop 20 points!!! I never liked her on the show and thought she was a big fake but got her book just to see if I can find another side to her and maybe she can b honest in her book…guess not all boring crap that I didn’t care to read ! U can tell that everything she writes is just as fake as she is on the show! Whoever gave her a book deal is crazy! The language and grammar is that of a 8th grader ..with all her money she should have paid for some1 to write the book for her! Good thing I read the book in an hour because I’m bringing it right back to the store ..I refuse to pay for crap !
  • Since I’m just learning to read books with lots of pages, my tutor thought this would be a good starter book for me. Before I started, I shaved my pits & legs, gave myself a good bikini waxing, threw on some yoga pants, and put on a super hot top over my to small push-up bra. I also ordered Chinese food & put it on a plate for when my man came home. I wrote a quick note to my “King” on the napkin next to the Chinese food. The note said, “Dear King, This is your queen, I’ve shaved, haven’t pooped , and prepared this meal for you. You can find me in my recording studio, reading my first book with lots of pages. Your Devoted, Queen.”   I don’t understand all the hateful reviews. For a first time reader, I found the sentence structure to be very simple. Perhaps this book should be required reading for middle school girls. My favorite part of the book was, “Loin & The Ram: A Wild Love Story”. Who doesn’t love a great zodiac story! I hope Melissa Gorga’s second book with lots of pages in it, has more zodiac stories.   If you haven’t read this yet, download some of Melissa’s iTunes songs, strap on some headphones, and engross yourself in the tale that Melissa Gorga wove. Just be sure to properly groom yourself and put some Chinese food on a plate for your “King”.

 

SH reader @JenGotClassNass contributed to the literary lashing…

RHONJ Melissa gorga amazon review

Just to be fair, a sampling of the FIVE star reviews:

  • I love Melissa and Joe and I read this book in a day. Their marriage is similar to mine and I agree with most of what she says. I enjoyed it. Not sure why there is so much hate going on. If you aren’t happy in your marriage you should take some pointers instead of saying nasty things. Hmm…
  • They are a perfect couple! In addition to all the fascinating background information, Melissa also shares fashion and beauty tips and advice. I love getting the inside scoop! So fun that Melissa included her make up artist in her book! (I hope he writes his own book one day…soon!)   I was also happy to find the book is completely in Melissa’s voice. It sounds like her when I read it.   I didn’t get the feeling there was a ghost writer involved with this at all.

NOTE:  Nice try to quash those ghostwriter questions!  ‘Cause everybody knows that MeGo slaved away, writing EVERY night curled up in a corner of her sofa from exactly 10 pm to 2 am!  

Maybe that last reviewer didn’t get the “FEELING”… but, as EVERYONE knows, MeGo’s book was written by the same ghostwriter who wrote Snooki’s Pulitzer-prize-winning books… Valerie Frankel, as mentioned on SH back in December!  Val’s dream is to write a NYTimes Bestseller.  YO!  Val!!  Creep on over to TreeJoodice’s marble mausoleum…heard she’s looking for someone to collect more recipes for her next cookbook!   Somehow it always winds it’s way back to Tree… poor MeGo!!

 

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JoeyMarco Gorga has been in love with PoopyPiggyMeGo since he laid eyes on her…  AAWWWWW.  Raise your hand if you, too, fell in love with MeGo since layin’ eyes on her.   Thank you, Johnny… you can put your hand down now.  We can see your hand… the room temp has dropped 15 degrees  from your hand wavin’!  Down, Johnny… down!!

JoGo had to “break her down” to marry him?  What an accomplishment!!  When there’s wife #2, JoGo will know better…     

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(Thanks to SH readers “PMG” “@JenGotClassNass” and “HousewifeHoe”!!!!)

LAURITA’S PHONY ATTORNEY…

Well, what else is new???  According to Philly.com, da Lauritas used Mark McGuire, one of their Franklin Lakes comps, as their attorney during an interview with police!

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“Mark McGuire of Franklin Lakes, New Jersey, spent 45 minutes with the couple  during their interview with police following an altercation in April at a salon  opening in Ridgewood. McGuire drove off with the Lauritas after the couple’s  interview over the tiff.

Detectives later discovered that McGuire was not a lawyer, and he was  promptly arrested last week and charged with “unauthorized practice of law.”

NOTE:  Mark McGuire is another phony baloney associate of the NJ crew who filed for bankruptcy.   Obviously, McGuire was used by da Lauritas as he looked and acted the part!  

“Mr. McGuire uses the Franklin Lakes Property as his mailing address and sometime residence, as he goes weeks without being present at the Franklin Lakes Property.”

McGuire also, according to these documents, ripped off his own sister… denying any knowledge of the whereabouts or sale of IBM stock given to him by his sister!

McGuire’s occupation?  Pizzeria manager in Franklin Lakes!

(Thanks to SH reader “duffydan”!!!!)

 

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MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s BravoBlog…Moved To Franklin Lakes… Buy My BOOK!!

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Bravo… Hi, everyone! We finally moved to Franklin Lakes. I feel like I have been unpacking for days. I can’t rest until every single thing is in place. The kids were so nervous to start their first day at a … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: MeGo’s Montville House “SOLD”!… For The Full Asking Price… Uh, OK…

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According to USWeekly, Melissa and JoeyMarco Gorga have sold their Montville marble mausoleum.  AND… they got the full listing price of $3.8 million! Da Gorga’s first tried to sell the house in 2009 for $4.1… according to Zillow, they took … Continue reading

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CAROLINE MANZO: DonCaro’s BORING BravoBlog… Character Rehab Not Working…

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Bravo…  NOTE:  DaDon is so desperate to rehab her image that she brings BabyJesus into her BravoBlog!   Hello and happy Sunday! I hope you all enjoyed your Independence Day. Mine was very nice and very quiet. Al and I … Continue reading

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A LOOK BACK AT THE RHONJ REUNION SHOW: Season Four… Caro and Lauren Manzo Tell Teresa Giudice “People Like You Are The Reason People Kill Themselves”…

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Bravo…  I was recently asked how many hours a day are spent on this site.  My answer was that the total amount of time fluctuates, depending on many different variables.   The following is an example of today being a … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA, TERESA GIUDICE: MeGo and Tree’s Kids Are Good… Doin’ The Same As Their Mommies… Could Unsold House Be The Reason?

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From MeGo Instagram: How nice… the children of the battling New Jersey Housewives are hangin’ out with each other.   They are continuing the “nicey-nice” from bein’ together in January at Gia’s Giudice’s birthday party… the Bravo cameras were there … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: Just A Typical Day In The Life of A “Reality” Pop Star!!… And Don’t Forget That “FEE”!!… Joe Gorga Not Too Ill To Tweet!

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“Melissa Gorga, is the star of Bravo’s hit show The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Melissa has turned her dream of becoming a recording artist into a reality. Working with some of the top music producers in the industry, Melissa … Continue reading

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MELISSA GORGA: Sellin’ That Vodka and Those T-Shirts!!…AND… What’s The “AMAZING News”???

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According to @MelissaGorga… she will be appearing tonight pushin’ her vodka in Ledgewood NJ. BUT… before you head out to get a glimpse of MeGo, she’s also imploring her followers to BUY her t-shirts! MeGo’s assortment of overpriced bedazzled threads … Continue reading

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CAROLINE MANZO: DonCaro’s Doctor GUILTY…Gettin’ Jail Time… Maximum FIVE Years… Appeared on the RHONJ… UPDATE… NOT Board Certified… In ANYTHING!!

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May 18, 2012  1:25 pm   From NJLedger…   UPDATE 2:15 pm In doing a bit more research at the New Jersey Board of Medicine… DonCaro’s doctor, Dov Rand, is NOT a psychiatrist… and NOT Board certified… in anything! In … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: One of Da Moronzos… Helpin’ Out A Buddy… Store Opening in Franklin Lakes…

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This is a clothing store, but the owner can’t pick out a tie that will fit him… and Prince Albie looks like he just rolled outta his side of the bed. One new Franklin Lakes boutique clothing store had some … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Dina Manzo… On Fox & Friends… Pushin’ Her HGTV Show

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                                                    One of Dina’s “creations” at her home…  Dina Manzo has been out an about doin’ … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Ashley Holmes’ New Apartment..

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                                I told you dat I wuz leavin’…                                       … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey RECAP: Season 3, Episode 10… “There Arose Such A Clatter”

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                              Didja see me wit Andy?  My boss??   I got a big bonus check from Bravo for that lap dance he got.   Git away from … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Season 3, Episode 5 … “Stick It”

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        Season 3, Episode 5 “STICK IT” JoeyG:  Did youz hear dat???  What the hell was that!?    Melissa:  That was me singing, Joe.     JoeyG:  Oh, I thought lil Gino was strangling the cat…        … Continue reading

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Boys to Manzo… Albie’s Date Night – Video – Bravo TV Official Site

Just couldn’t wait for this installment of ‘Boyz to Manzo‘… on this episode, Albie goes on a date!

Yes, Albie takes his date, Jacklyn on a dinner date where she describe to Albie her various allergies and their reactions.   You would think the date would have ended when the check came, but…

Jacklyn goes back to Albie’s apartment where she is taught Chris’ ‘Cajun-speak’…

 

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Manzo’s Meet Vito’s Parents

An ‘extra’ from Bravotv.com

Lauren Manzo and her boyfriend, Vito, and his parents are out to dinner with Caroline and Albie Manzo before they all become in-laws.

Both sets of parents are against Lauren and Vito living together before marriage…

 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Boys to Manzo: Man Night

What we’ve all been waiting for… the second installment of the ‘Manzo Boys’ webisode.

Boyz to Manzo…

Caroline takes Albie shopping… Albie ditches the guys for ‘man night’ to go on a date…