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KIM RICHARDS: Dogs, Dating and DrunkOtis… Kim Loves Her Dog… Kim Is Now Dating… And Kim Is “Helping” DrunkOtis!

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Kim Richards gave an interview to OK!Magazine while she and her sister, HagfaceKyle Richards, were in New York last week.  OK! just released the interview in which Kim states that her dog, Kingsley, is “always there for her.”  Note to … Continue reading

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SH “HIT AND RUN” FRIDAY: What’s Goin’ On In The REAL World!… Chef Requirements… Rasta Banana Guy… Reese’s Fake Pregnancy… Queen of Versailles Mini-Marathon

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Am totally obsessed with the Jodi Arias trial… however, found some items also relating to the real world! YIKES!!! A restaurant in Bloomington, IN is looking for a line chef… or someone who is looking for a probably minimum wage … Continue reading

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MORE SH “HIT AND RUN” FRIDAY: Lisa Vanderpump “Six Degrees of Bobby Brown”… Brandi Glanville “Brandi Got Scammed By Shana… For Sure”!!… Phaedra Parks “Whatever Happened To Phaedra’s Book Writin?”… It’s Phaedra’s Prerogative!!

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It’s like a great big merry-go-round with Housewives jumpin’ on “celebrity” horsies!  It’s like a big game of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”!  OR… it just might be like these “celebs” chose to dine at one of the many LA … Continue reading

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MORE SH “HIT AND RUN” MONDAY: Oh, Those RHOC Kids!… Lindsey Knickerbocker “No Jail Time”… Is Ryan Veith “Chillin’ Wit Ma Weed…”???… Tamra Barney “I’m Just a Shy Down-to-Earth Girl From Glendora” and “All Is OK With Vicki”… Tamballs Doesn’t Like “Being Famous”!!

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From TMZ:  Tammy Knickerbocker’s daughter, Lindsey, was arrested for DUI on January 29… she had an almost lethal blood alcohol level of .32 (.08 is drunk in most states, including CA!).  Lindsey sideswiped three cars before she stopped her car; … Continue reading

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI…LEA BLACK: HUSBAND ROY BLACK’S CASE… VERDICT JUST IN… GUILTY ON BOTH COUNTS…VIDEO

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March 23, 2012  2:25 pm    WFLX… For all SH readers who are trial watchers:  the jury in the John Goodman case has found Goodman guilty on both charges… The six jurors began deliberating late Thursday afternoon and returned a … Continue reading

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LEA BLACK: LEA’S HUSBAND, ROY BLACK… DEFENDING JOHN GOODMAN… DUI POLO PLAYER…UPDATE…OPENING STATEMENTS TUESDAY…UPDATE… CIVIL SETTLEMENT REACHED

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MARCH 8, 2012  3:33 am UPDATE MARCH 10, 2012  8:00 pm A settlement has been reached in the civil suit filed against John Goodman by Scott Wilson’s parents: WEST PALM BEACH, FL (WFLX)  Sources tell FOX 29 that a settlement in the … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Shana/Taylor… Comparing A REAL Ford Heiress To ShanaTraylorTrashHugesFordArmstrong…Further Evidence That She’s a Scammer

Stoopid Housewives has made a promise to readers that any information, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, to prove that Shana-Hughes-Taylor-Ford-Armstrong wormed her way through life and into our lives via scamming her way to becoming one … Continue reading

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Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Giudice… Juicy Says, “I Ain’t Guilty”…

Is this guy serious??? ‘Juicy’ Joe Joo-dice is planning on pleading ‘not guilty‘ to the fraud charges that were leveled against him when he appears before a Passaic County, NJ judge Monday morning.  How is Juicy gonna explain possessing a drivers … Continue reading

RHOM Marysol… Mommy & Me

Miami Arrest Record for Elsa Carreras Patton

Real Housewives of Miami Elsa PattonBotox always tastes better in a wine glass…

Inmate Name:
Patton, Elsa Carreras
Inmate #:
100079277
Last Arrest Date:
00:30AM 10-09-2010
Sex:
Female
Race:
White
Age/DOB:
76
Height:
5′ 7″
Weight:
150
Status:
N/A

Family drama: Marysol's mother Elsa Patton was also arrested last year for driving under the influenceElsa, courtesy of Miami-Dade PD

Psychics are their own worst clients… they can never predict their own arrests

Charges Resulting from Arrest on 10/09/2010

1.  Dui/Unlawful Breath Alcohol Level
Counts: 1
Bond: $0.00
2.  No Valid Drivers License
Counts: 1
Bond: $0.00
 
*****************************************************************
 
A few weeks after Mommy Elsa was arrested for DUI, Marysol, along with her Real Housewives of Miami cast mates, attended their quickly-thrown-together premiere party, as reported by Miami.com… 
 

If you didn’t catch them on TV – The Real Housewives of Miami debuted 10 p.m. Tuesday on Bravo – then maybe you saw their fabulousness in the flesh.  The glam castmates came together for a launch party at the Eden Roc Renaissance Hotel on the night of Monday, Feb. 21 to introduce themselves to (hopefully) future fans. (That’s saying a whole lot when even a promotion piece is ‘hoping’ for the show…)

Lea Black was the first to arrive, with hubby Roy Black and 9-year-old son R.J. in tow. Both were beaming.  “She had fun doing this so I’m happy for her,’’ said the famed defense attorney, adding with a wink: “Luckily I was away for most of the cameras and the shooting, though!’’  Asked what she was wearing, Lea couldn’t recall.  “I literally pulled this out of my closet!’’ she said of the black lace dress with beige slip. “It’s 15 years old.’’  (Bravo Andy just twittered her the day before that the RHOM was a ‘go’… Lea barely had time to wax her brows, let alone go for a dress fitting!)

***SPOILER ALERT***  Marysol Patton, in a strapless cocktail mini, seemed embarrassed by all the attention. “I was stalked,’’ said the 44-year-old PR maven. “I went out on Valentine’s Day with***my husband***, and there were photographers in the bushes!’’  (***Well, her ‘older woman dating a younger man’ storyline is blown… She’s married to the dude!!!  Hmmm… a little Cynthia/Peter deja vu??)

Mom Elsa Patton – she of the recent DUI (above) – showed her support for her daughter. When a bystander complimented her on her sleek, straight hair, the 76-year-old plastic surgery addict aficionado thanked her and blew a kiss .  “She’s the real star of the show,’’ (If Bravo Andy is calling Elsa, the ‘KimG’ of Miami, the ‘real star’ of the show, then there are some definite problems with RHOM…) said Bravo exec/personality Andy Cohen ( Watch What Happens Live!)  Asked why the franchise picked up here, Cohen said, “Miami has got touch of The O.C. and something else. It was a no-brainer.’’  (If Miss Andy could explain what that ‘something else’ is, maybe we could all figure out a reason to watch RHOM… Come on, Andy… help us out here!)

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Giudice Advice for Under 50!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND SAVE THE DATE!!!!

Tree Joo-dice is ‘teaching’ all she knows at The Learning Annex from 7 to 9 pm in midtown Manhattan on January 12, 2011 for $44.95!

t-giudice.jpg

Tree will be ‘instructing’ attendees how to:

  • become a reality star
  • be a faithful wife,
  • know the difference between marble and onyx,
  • be a dependable friend,
  • walk the red carpet,
  • avoid jail time,
  • lift recipes,
  • hide stacks of cash in a Fendi clutch,
  • pose cockheaded,
  • live your entire life with abnormal eyes,
  • throw away cookies given by your relatives,
  •  cover your hairline,
  • make your children look better with humongous headbands,
  •  scream,
  • attack your boss,
  • make millions with a stucco company,

AND…

  • fake your degree,
  • get free trips to It-ly,
  • sign real estate documents,
  • avoid court-ordered auctions,
  • make your husband think he’s handsome,
  • get free clothes,
  • believe your husband’s DUI stories,
  • sprint in a country club,
  •  hide your parents in the basement,
  • know your tanning machine settings,
  •  make pizza dough,
  • accept a canary diamond ring,
  • scam the federal government,
  •  make your friends babysit,
  •  try to speak I-talian,
  • avoid bill collectors,
  •  drive an architect insane,
  • get discounts for paying cash,
  •  find hideous door ornaments,

AND…

  • cheat a business partner,
  • smile while your car is repossessed,
  • be your sister-in-law’s worst nightmare,
  • know the exact time of the month to crush tomatoes,
  • hide a canary diamond ring,
  • get your ‘fans’ to buy anything,
  • max out credit cards,
  • deny knowledge of owning property,
  • start a fight,
  • lie through your teeth on a daytime talk show,
  • let your friend take the blame for starting a fight,

AND…

  • build an ugly house,
  • keep calm when your 6-ft vase shatters,
  •  push out a baby by saying ‘ouch’,
  • think you can model clothes,
  •  copy another reality star’s book title,
  • make your friends walk up Mt. Vesuvius,
  • dress your children in distasteful but expensive clothing,
  • correctly walk into a courthouse,
  •  show off your designer dinner plates,
  • announce that you will be appearing on Dancing With the Stars (but you know you won’t)
  • …and much more.

Teresa-Giudice-prphotos-600x250.jpg

Tree’s seminar will be moderated by Rob Shuter of Popeater, Tree’s personal PR puppy. I’m sure Tree needs a ‘moderator’ to ‘evaluate’ the questions before presenting them for Tree to answer… you know, all the really good stuff that you would pay almost $50 to ask Tree, like what’s going on with the bankruptcy, is Joe drunk all the time, did he like jail and does he have a love child?… those types of questions will be tossed out by the ‘moderator’. However, she WILL be sharing some details about what goes on behind the scenes of RHONJ….WOO-HOO!

According the The Learning Annex, “Teresa is a hero to modern women because of her fabulous style, her positive attitude, and her effusive love for her family. Even in the chaos of childrearing, working, and filming a television show, she still makes time to make homemade meals.

Well, Tree must have some brain for time management, because I cannot understand how she will do all this in a 2-hour period! If anyone can shed some light on how she does all this, please share.

Tree’s Learning Annex class… here.