CAROLE RADZIWILL: Where… and WHEN… Will Carole Meet Her New Husband?

carole heathert pg

Carole Radziwill recently got taken in by a “psychic” who told her that she would be meeting her next husband “in Europe while wearing a flowery dress.”  UH… OK.   “Europe” is a pretty big generalization and what are the details about the “flowery” dress??

Journalist Carole musta been too excited by the “psychic’s” words… so much so, that her “journalist” side slid swiftly south!  JournalistCarole asked no pertinent questions of this “psychic” and seemed a bit too satisfied with the “psychic’s” other-worldly capabilities.

OR, maybe Carole was simply stupifyingly shockingly speechlessly surprisingly stunned.   Yes, Carole’s “psychic” used the age-old, effective and very valid…”verbal” stun gun on Carole!

Those “psychics” can really pick up on their clients… especially after asking their clients questions such as:  “Does the letter “B” mean anything to you?”  “OK… how about the letter “D”?  “Hmmm… howz about the letter “R”?  “How about a vowel…”A”??

OR… making statements to their clients to pick up on their reactions; such as:  “I see blue…” “You were recently driving…”  “Your mother wants you to know…”  “Your grandfather wants you to watch out for…”  Saps who are not familiar with the games “psychics” play will give the “psychic” a lot to go on as the “psychic” watches carefully for their facial expression to change or to show any glimpse of emotion as they make general statements to their client.  The client will think the “psychic” is really REAL after they pick up on one reaction to a statement and run with it.  Quick example:  mentioning “mother” may elicit a look of sadness, indicating that “mother” is either ill or is deceased.

Somma these “psychics” use the automatic handwriting method… better known to the lay person as “SCRIBBLING” on a piece of paper… to fascinate clients into thinking that they are connecting with out-of-body spirits… and to buy themselves more time to think about which direction they should take in sharing the information gleaned from the client’s connections to the entities beyond this world!

Back to Carole!!

Actually, PollyPry was a more determined journalist than Carole!  (FYI:  PollyPry is from the MattStone/TreyParker play “Cannibal: The Musical”… off-Broadway play.  It was fantastically funny and should have gotten to Broadway.  Another example of the play being much better than the movie… but, if you haven’t seen the movie, find it and watch!!)

Some questions which should have come immediately to JournalistCarole’s questioning intellect:

  • Which COUNTRY in Europe will I meet my next husband?
  • What will HE be wearing?
  • Is he bald?
  • Does he speak Portuguese?
  • How many flowers should be on the dress I’m wearing?  (Carole bought a “flowery” dress AFTER listening to the “psychic”!)
  • In which month will I meet him?
  • What YEAR? (THIS was an essential “journalism” question… which JournalistCarole blanked on!)
  • Will this guy write a song for me?
  • Will this mystery man like being on a “reality” TV show?
  • If “Yes,” does he know anyone in Aerosmith?
  • Does he believe the ‘single shot’ JFK theory?
  • Will my future hubbend get along with Tripp?
  • Does my future hubbend use a straw to drink Fanta?  (This question will assure that the guy has a passport as Fanta is more popular than Coke or Pepsi in some parts of the world…)
  • Will my future hubbend pick up my mail for me?
  • Is my future hubbend a hair stylist?
  • Does my future hubbend already know MissAndy?
  • Can MFH (my future hubbend) tie nautical knots?
  • Does MFH know who Toby Jones is?
  • Does MFH have any outstanding warrants for his arrest?
  • Can MFH beat me at Scrabble?  Cribbage?  Hearts? Parcheesi?
  • Is MFH a member of the Maidstone? (VERY important question for NYers!)
  • How often does MFH visit his parole officer?  (Trick question!)
  • Does MFH own a tuxedo or does he rent?
  • How many ex-wives does MFH have?

Enough about what Carole SHOULDA asked her “psychic.”

Let’s take a look at how Carole will actually meet her future hubbend!

  • At 438 N Moore Street.  The location of the very secretive Tribeca Doomsday Preppers Club.
  • At the COSTCO in Queens while selecting her next read.  They both grab the last copy of the book, “Love… ItalianStyle”… their fingers touch; eyes lock; it’s love (Carole Falco IS Italian…).  It was worth drivin’ that ZipCar out to Queens!!
  • While doing some undercover investigative work for Willie Degel, Carole deliberately dumps steak sauce on her future hubbend.  (What idiot asks for steak sauce?!)  Her future hubbend is intrigued by Carole’s fearlessness and sparks fly!  **Sparks Steakhouse**   Oh, nevermind!
  • At Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Carole has been seen strolling around NYC with a 15-lb frozen turkey swaddled in a plaid cashmere blanket… which was placed gently in her new BugabooBuffalo stroller.  If it worked for PT Housewife, Carole KNOWS it will work for her!

NOTE:  Please use your psychic abilities…

What questions should Carole have posed to the “psychic”… and WHERE will Carole find her next hubbend???

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