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YOU MIGHT BE A HOUSEWIFE…

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If you love throwing intimate dinner parties for your closest friends… that you just encountered during a pre-production meeting.  You might be a Housewife! If you can delude yourself into thinking that anything you do on a “reality” show is … Continue reading

New Bravo-Inspired Cards! Send To Your Favorite Housewife!

Suggested Recipients:   Housewives, Housewives Fans or anyone who aspires to be just like a Housewife!

bravo card

GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY: The RHOBH Dinner From Hell

The RHOBH Dinner From Hell at CamilleGrammer’s still unsold Malibu house… back when the dinner parties were “suggested” and not scripted.  Camille is such a troublemaker… she’s getting back at them all, but using DuBois to do her dirty work!  Camille is the smartest Housewife… ever.   Being manipulative and knowing that she has the upper hand are just two of her “smartest” characteristics.  

Extra bonus…PumpMyStomach BEFORE plastic surgery!  

BLIND ITEM! Who’s This Delusional Housewife Who’s Peddling A Sex Tape?

Get ready for a new sex tape from another Real Housewife… because DanielleStaub’s stab at a sex tape did wonders for her financially!  

“She is in debt and owes over $100,000.  She thinks the tape would pay that off.  She hopes it will make her a bigger star and earn her lots of money at the same time.”

Sources say that producers are aware of the tape that was made in the last 12 months. Naughty Gossip saw a few screen grabs from the video and can reveal that it is NASTY!

(Thanks “chameleon”!!)  

NOTE:  Unfortunately for this misguided Housewife, her sex tape would hardly cover the $100,000 she owes.  Ask Danielle… DanielleStaub filed for bankruptcy in 2012 after her sex tape.   Claudia says it’s not her!

claudia not her tweet

claudia tweet

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ORIGINAL BeverlyHillbilly Dead At 81

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   The Beverly Hillbillies star Donna Douglas has died at 81. The actress, who played Elly May Clampett on the beloved 1960s TV series, passed away Thursday at her home in Louisiana surrounded by her friends and family. NOTE:  The RHOBH … Continue reading

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TAKIN’ A SH DETOUR: Some of These You May Have Already Seen… Some You May Not!

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These photos have been sent to SH from several readers…. so, a big “ThankYou” to SH readers “PDM” “PMG” “cybraxis” and “Jule”!!! Saving the BEST for last!!  AND… something to think about: The federal government, which has ” Tomahawk” cruise … Continue reading

SH “HIT AND RUN”

EX-OC Housewife, Lydia McLaughlin, who was only a HW to get some name recognition for herself and her HouseHusband’s magazine… now has a new, by appt only, mattress company!  Which of the OC Housewives will be the first to be pushing their new mattresses from Lydia??  NONE!!  Lydia isn’t dumb enough to give a $15,000 custom-made mattress away for a HW endorsement… and no OC Housewife can afford to buy one!

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MissAndy’s book must not be doing too well… he’s getting everyone and their MOTHER to tweet how much they LOVE MissAndy’s book!

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The “brilliant” LawsuitJim…

marchese tweet dumb

HagfaceKyle does Christmas present humor…badly.  Look at how HagfaceKyle “rolls”… here.

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Crooks is off to another game with his brother!!  Wonder what Crooks got for his youngest child, Joey??  Crooks must be reading SH… he’s now absent from photos!  Too late, Crooks!

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Yoda does lyme face!  Don’t be fooled, it’s just Yoda with no makeup and a bad headache after listening to KingDavid pound on the piano for ten hours!

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DrunkOtis’ dream has come true.  Too bad no one will be watching!

drunk otis

A warning from someone who went to the movie theater venue where MelissaGorga is hosting a NYE party.  VInnie from JerseyShore was the host last year!

I went to this nye last year the host was vinny from jersey shore he came in for 5 min and refused to take a pic with anyone or say hi and the bar is very small so to get a drink you had to avoid being pummeled by a mob of like 300 people all surrounding the bar …. But I’m sure Melissa will be very sweet and hopefully they worked out a better bar system.

If you’re interested in going to this event, where Melissa isn’t even using her vocal “talent” and has no say in working out a “better bar system”… there are more details here.

melissa nye

More Housewives crap to sell… not TOO pretentious calling the collar “commemorative”!!

lisav

“Sunday Fun day with my neighbors @officialkathywakile and @richardwakile ! Kathy made delicious homemade bread !! XOXO! #yum”

Too bad KomaKathy doesn’t have a kitchen yet and has to cook in WackyJackie’s!  RancidRichie looks like he just caught a whiff of KomaKathy’s green culinary creation.  CrookedChris looks like he’s having a breakdown…or just took a huge dose of thorazine.

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WackyJackieChan’s kid even approves…she’s beyond OBSESSED with disgusting pig RancidRichie and KomaKathy!

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BFrankel does bikini shots in Florida… she didn’t check her fake boobs before posing for the paps.

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CamilleGrammer does bikini shots in Hawaii.  Go Camille!!

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(Thanks “Dave” “Brenda” “anon” and “cybraxis”!!)

DrunkOtis Gives Her Opinions… Who Cares?

‘Kyle Richards… needs a haircut, needs some layers, and needs an attitude adjustment.”  DrunkOtis says that KimRichards is her big little sister… whatever that means. “Who is that?” says DrunkO when PumpMyStomach was brought up.

We’re givin’ squeeky-voiced DrunkOtis and her feeble thoughts 998736645353 Kens:

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SH EXCLUSIVE!! Santa’s Christmas Housewives Helpers!

christmas HW lisa kyle pg

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WHICH HOUSEWIFE??? Will Go For This “BeautyTrend”?

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WHICH HOUSEWIFE WILL BE THE FIRST TO JUMP ON THIS NEW “BEAUTY TREND”…NEON ARMPITS????  This “beauty trend” is supposedly a sign of empowerment…  YODA already displayed her hairy armpits… will she be the first to go full-on neon?? (Thanks “ChrisH”!!)

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Camille Grammer Drops House Price

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Camille Grammer mentioned on the RHOBH that she’s still trying to sell her Malibu house. This weekend, she lowered her asking price by $1 million. Now listed for $13.995 million, Grammer’s home has been on and off the market since 2012. … Continue reading

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YODA’S INSANELY INSIPID BRAVO BLOG… Wants to keep her kids “humble, grounded, and hungry”

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Since ALL of the RHOBH’s BravoBlogs thus far are filled with self-congratulatory words and even more vapid thoughts, will be spotlighting the most vapid and ridiculous… although HagfaceKyle has yet to submit hers.  So, here we go with Yoda: Woo-hoo, … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

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Adrienne Magoof’s Dating Life … All The Execs In Beverly Hills Are Dating 20-Year-Olds

Adrienne looked so much better when she was with Rod’s kid… YIKES!!  Heard Jacob was over visiting Magoof’s neighbor, ParisHilton, when Magoof isn’t looking.

The Brainy BeverlyHillBillians Advice On How To Find Happiness

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg

RHOBH Sneak Peek: Girl Fighting, Wine Throwing, Face Slapping … All The BOOOORING Housewives Stuff… And Taglines

Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face.  PMS knew it was coming…

RHOBH Premieres Tuesday, November 18…

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DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.

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LisaVanderpump Talks RHOBH… Same Old Stuff!!

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LisaVanderPumpMyStomach is raving about the RHOBH.  Don’t forget that PumpMyStomach is an actress, too… that slap is ACTING!!

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RHOBH Preview Ad…

RHOBH New Season Preview…

KingDavid makes an appearance with the clowns of Beverly Hills, who are just as ridiculously disgusting as their NJ subhuman counterparts.  Not even interested in watching this dreckish garbage…

KingDavid has said numerous times that his wife is ONLY on the RHOBH to slide into her own lifestyle show and that she is the voice of reason among the clowns with which she’s forced to appear.

RHOBH david yolanda clown pg mags