RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

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Adrienne Magoof’s Dating Life … All The Execs In Beverly Hills Are Dating 20-Year-Olds

Adrienne looked so much better when she was with Rod’s kid… YIKES!!  Heard Jacob was over visiting Magoof’s neighbor, ParisHilton, when Magoof isn’t looking.

The Brainy BeverlyHillBillians Advice On How To Find Happiness

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg

RHOBH Sneak Peek: Girl Fighting, Wine Throwing, Face Slapping … All The BOOOORING Housewives Stuff… And Taglines

Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face.  PMS knew it was coming…

RHOBH Premieres Tuesday, November 18…

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DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.

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LisaVanderpump Talks RHOBH… Same Old Stuff!!

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LisaVanderPumpMyStomach is raving about the RHOBH.  Don’t forget that PumpMyStomach is an actress, too… that slap is ACTING!!

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RHOBH Preview Ad…

RHOBH New Season Preview…

KingDavid makes an appearance with the clowns of Beverly Hills, who are just as ridiculously disgusting as their NJ subhuman counterparts.  Not even interested in watching this dreckish garbage…

KingDavid has said numerous times that his wife is ONLY on the RHOBH to slide into her own lifestyle show and that she is the voice of reason among the clowns with which she’s forced to appear.

RHOBH david yolanda clown pg mags

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THE HOUSEWIVES SHOWS ARE OVER…

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The article from EntertainmentWeekly asking if we’re tired of “reality” TV is not at all surprising.  We’ve been saying the very same, but specifically about the Housewives franchises for at least a year. With the Bravo debacle, the RHONJ, wrapping up … Continue reading

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RHOBH Same Old Same Old: Kim v HagfaceKyle

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It’s time for the RHOBH to start their PR campaign to drum up interest in their next season premiering in January.   There will be tons of planted items based on that mysterious unnamed “inside source” and this is one … Continue reading

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SH “HIT AND RUN”… HWs Items That Don’t Deserve Full Attention! … Questions Answered!

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Some Housewives items which don’t deserve full atten-shun: Heather Dull-BRO voices her opinion about Teresa Giudice… and asks if Bravo is harboring a criminal: “Even on the day of their sentencing, they were hiding jewelry and they didn’t tell the … Continue reading

BLIND ITEM REVEALED!! Camille Says Source Is Incorrect!!

CAN I HAVE YOUR HUSBAND??

CAN I HAVE YOUR HUSBAND??   I JUST NEED HIM FOR A STORY LINE!

From CDAN

“This long ago C list mostly movie actress turned A list reality star for an A list franchise has been trying to hook up with the ex-husband of a former cast mate to add to her story line for the upcoming season.”

Housewife: CAMILLE GRAMMER  Ex-Husband: PAUL NASSIF

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(Thanks “chameleon”!!)

BLIND ITEM: Which Housewife Cut Off Her Daughter?

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From CDAN

This west coast Housewife cut off her daughter …

…because the daughter has been selling information about Mom to the tabloids.

 

(Thanks “chameleon”!!)

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WHO GOT RAISES ON THE RHOBH?

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“Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Yolanda Hadid and Brandi Glanville are each earning the most at $500,000,” a Bravo insider reveals. “Kim Richards and newcomer Lisa Rinna will be making $450,000.” “Bravo loves the nucleus of these four women, even when … Continue reading

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A MUST SEE! The Hotwives of Orlando…

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Question: How does one successfully parody a show which has already become a parody of itself?  Answer: You study the cast of each franchise and pick the best of the bunch and write a very funny SCRIPT… and then you … Continue reading

SH “HIT AND RUN” … Items We REALLY Don’t Care About

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DrunkOtis with several bruises posin’ for bikini shots

LisaRinna filming RHOBH… Lisa will be a “friend” of the Housewives, NOT a full-time HW.

NayNay’s clothing line will be on HSN later this month...

LeAnn and Eddie did reality show “to take our lives back”

LisaVanderPumpMyStomach and HagfaceKyle shooting RHOBH lunch scene at VillaBlanca

Adrienne and Camille shooting RHOBH… guests at HagfaceKyle’s annual free ad for KimRichard’s future FatBurger son-in-law aka “WhiteParty.”

YolandaHadid Foster STILL has not sold her house...

 (Thanks to SH readers “Lu” “Dave/Brenda” “DennieZen” “anon” “JustN” “cybraxis”  “Lux”  “Nels” “LN” “cmhr” “PDM”!!)

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Lawsuit News: Camille Goin’ After Dimwitri!

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From TMZ: NOTE:  Dimwitri has a real wicked sense of humor!  Just can’t understand why Camille wasn’t laughing… Camille says Dimitri is a drunk and once during a trip to Hawaii he was doing so many shots she asked him … Continue reading

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WHICH HOUSEWIVES’ TWEETS REQUIRE ABOVE A 4TH GRADE READING LEVEL??? Tweeting For Dummies!

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We’ve done extensive research to find which Housewife tweets smarter than that of a 4th grade reading level.  The 4th grade level… unfortunately… is the average reading level for those who use twitter! SMOG AFTER an analysis of 1 million public … Continue reading