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WHICH HOUSEWIFE WILL BE THE FIRST TO JUMP ON THIS NEW “BEAUTY TREND”…NEON ARMPITS???? This “beauty trend” is supposedly a sign of empowerment… YODA already displayed her hairy armpits… will she be the first to go full-on neon?? (Thanks “ChrisH”!!)
DrunkOtis cannot get by without mentioning Eddie… and her constant quest for men has been overdone. We all know that her true love is Darin. DrunkOtis’ running after JR was as phony as Shana’s Birkin bag!!
DrunkOtis blames her Stella addiction on PumpMyStomach…
These opinions on new Housewife BigLipsLisa were obviously filmed prior to PumpMyStomach’s plastic surgery. Translation: blah, blah, blah… blah, blah, blah… big lips… blah, blah, blah
We give this opinion piece 736499374364,33333333 Kens!
Included in tomorrow’s RHOBH, is the required “let’s have lunch so we can move forward” scene, explaining the return of Magoof. DrunkOtis wants to settle her phony baloney differences with AdrienneMagoof left over from last season… or was it the season before or the season before that… or was it from two seasons ago on the RHONY? These boring shows are so much alike, it’s hard to tell which zip code you’re watching…
We’re givin’ this preview 88937453534,999999999999 Kens…
Who is the mysterious friend who now lives with DrunkOtis… Adrienne? She loves to help DrunkOtis pack her suitcases… from last season of RHOBH:
NOTE: A sure sign to tell if someone has not traveled is their brand new suitcases and their brand new monogrammed luggage tags. A waste if flying commercial…
Whatever happened to HagfaceKyle’s “charity”? WHY did HagfaceKyle abandon her Lollipop Kids? WHY did Adrienne abandon her “good friend” DrunkOtis?
HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:
After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.
The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.
All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak. Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find. The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley. HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.
Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found. KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris. MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!
MissAndy begged PumpMyStomach to return to the RHOBH… that’s the story and they’re both sticking to it!
And BLEEECH! PumpMyStomach is done with DrunkOtis…at least for this season.
NOTE: Maybe the Housewives shows wouldn’t be so terrible if they were labeled truthfully… as night time soap operas. The phony friendships, hard-to-believe connections and scripted lines are tiresome to watch and are turning people off.
Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face. PMS knew it was coming…
DrunkOtis makes her way to Yoda’s hilltop lemon house… which is STILL for sale… only to agree to take a walk with Yoda on the beach, which is ten miles away from Yoda’s lemon house. But, before they start their five-hour hike, KingDavid performs a sampling of the musical that he’s STILL working on… BettyBoop. Honestly, who the hell is going to see a musical about BettyBoop??? This must be KingDavid’s only way to get that backing for BettyBoopTheMusical, which he mentioned in one of his many interviews… the same interviews in which he states that the RHOBH are not real!
After the near-death-LymeDisease-ridden Yoda and DrunkOtis prance around to KingDavid’s piano playing, they start their long hike to the beach, but along the way, Yoda discovers a squatter on her property!!
It’s Crooks!! Selling Vicki’s old clothes from 1989!!
NOTE: Amazing that LymeYoda had such a conniption fit over pictures of her lemon house on SH showing that it was no where NEAR the beach… it’s obvious that no one wants her hilltop hacienda for $25 million!!
If you missed LemonYoda’s conniption fit about her lemon house… HERE…and Yoda’s nasty twitter attack HERE. Back in March, Trulia listed LymeYoda’s property as consisting of 3.18 acres, but the acreage is not mentioned In the updated listing.
Yoda apparently wants buyers to think they’re getting FOUR AND A HALF acres…why is Yoda lying about acreage??
Yoda and DrunkOtis take a ten-mile hike down from Yoda’s lemon house, dodging traffic and then spending six hours knocking on doors to get permission to access the beach…where Yoda chats about her “model” daughter, Alana, and the other sad drunk “model” daughter, Lemon.
DrunkOtis has tons of business opportunities and all kinds of other stuff going on, but she still can’t find a house to buy. At least DrunkOtis has her new RangeRover to love…
DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.