YODA Circa 2012: Airplane Vocals… Followed SH Before She Was Cast On RHOBH

THE 2012 YODA… loved us before she was cast on the RHOBH and before the lemon house photos!!  Yoloncé obviously took advantage of as much auto-tune as possible!!

yolanda foster 2012 tweet

They ALL read/follow SH… only the really REAL Housewives admit it!!

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KIM RICHARDS’ DOG BITE SAGA CONTINUES: Is “SecondMother” Looking For A Quick $$$$ Settlement?

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NOTE:  WHAT?!?!   Is this “second mother” even more intellectually challenged than KimRichards?  Kim gave Kingsley to a trainer to be TRAINED… of course, the dog will be returned to Kim! As for the lawsuit, it seems that the “second … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

judge-judy-dont-pee-on-my-leg

PumpMyStomach On Kingsley…

PumpMyStomach chimes in on the “Kingsley Bit Me” issue.  As usual, PMS stays true to her passive/aggressive personality.  Saying that pit bulls are “wonderful” animals…BUT… “I think they are instinctually fighting dogs.”  And, maybe for Kim, that’s not the best breed.  Gee, thanks PMS!

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A Tale Of Two Daughters…

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PICTURES TELL A STORY… It’s crystal clear that Yoda’s other “model” daughter is unhappy, annoyed and depressed.  Yoda has been driving Jello down the same career road as she drove Jello’s older sister, Alana, which is to be a “model” … Continue reading

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GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Views Yoda DOESN’T Want You To See!!

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ON THIS SEASON OF THE RHOBH, YODA IS POINTING OUT THE LOCATION OF HER LEMON HOUSE.   YODA DID NOT WANT YOU TO SEE HER LEMON HOUSE LOCATION BACK IN MARCH! UPDATE:  Yoda has quietly reduced the price of her … Continue reading

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HagfaceKyle’s BravoBlog…

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We are back! I can’t believe this is the fifth season. This is going to be an exciting , fun-filled season with all the craziness that comes with life’s ups and downs.  We’ll be the judge of that, Kyle! Writing … Continue reading

Yoda’s Passive/Aggressive Demands…The Absolute Insulting BurglarBalls Of “I’m A Mommy” Yoda!!

RHOBH yoda david pg

Excerpt from Yoda’s BravoBlog:

“I am excited to be blogging with and for you over the next couple of months. I love and appreciate the time you take to share your opinions, even though we might not always agree, I respect your freedom of speech and respect this blogging process.

I am asking in advance to please keep things classy because the most powerful debates are spoken in a clear and respectful manner. All seven of us are mommies of children that are existing in the social media world, so please be sensitive to the power of your thoughts and words.”

HUH???  These chicks knowingly and with forethought go into these contrived, scripted situations in exchange for receiving easy “reality” show money and perks.  They are told to “bring the drama” by producers and obey that command.  They willfully attack each other verbally and physically, trying to top each other with each glass thrown and face slapped!  Who the hell does Yoda think she is to espouse from the top of her lemon grove to all the unwashed below to be “sensitive” because she and others are “mommies of children”!?

As a “mommy,” it is up to YOU to protect your children and to keep them OUT of your story line and OFF our TVs.   SonjaMorgan can give you instructions.

If these Housewives are sensitive to their “kids” being bashed because THEY choose to put them on TV…here’s a very simple suggestion for you, Yoda, and for all the other Housewives who passively/aggressively say that they respect freedom of speech and then turn around to expect boundaries and your own rules to be placed on that freedom:  

Decline that easy “reality” $$$ and get off TV.  

YODA ADDS MORE INSULT TO INJURY:

“…we are seven very different but equally important woman “Important”?  Important to whom? Yoda’s self-agrandizement knows no bounds!! that have feelings just like you but are willing to put ourselves out there to share and give you a peek into some of the most intimate moments of our lives.”

YODA leaves out the rest of her sentence…saying WHY she’s sharing her “most INTIMATE moments”: 

…In exchange for CASH; all-expense-paid trips; being spokespersons for various causes and/or diseases for $$$; being paid for cross-promoting on other shows; writing books; selling romance; making jewelry; pushing wines; buying followers on twitter, FB and instagram to generate more income by mentioning products; making more $$$ for appearance fees; promoting relative’s careers; and, in Yoda’s case, putting up with the BH clowns with the hope of getting her very own “lifestyle” show!

What is utterly insulting about Yoda’s last statement is her assumption that no one else has ever experienced or has knowledge of what she has experienced and is “allowing” everyone just a little glance into her world… and the assumption that one should be grateful to her for sharing!

Yoda’s goal is to push her kids…especially “model” Alana!

(Thanks “TamH”!!)

Counting down to when Yoda will turn into MartyrLymeYoda… 3-2-1… aaaand the tweets of LymeYoda in a hospital room start!  Even when she’s barely clinging to life, MartyrYoda will make good TV share her life.. just for you!!  Oh, the sacrifices she makes… 

RHOBH Preview: HagfaceKyle And Kin Take Off In A Rent-A-Jet!

HagfaceKyle fails to mention that “her” jet can be chartered by anyone.  WheelsUp is just another air taxi service for anyone who has the money to purchase aviation time.  WheelsUp is the same as MarquisJet aka NetJets…a taxi in the sky!  Is WheelsUp just another product placement??

If you are unfamiliar with this aspect of private aviation…more info HERE.

WHATEVER WEDNESDAY: Whatever Happened To HagfaceKyle’s Lollipop Kids?

Whatever happened to HagfaceKyle’s “charity”?  WHY did HagfaceKyle abandon her Lollipop Kids?  WHY did Adrienne abandon her “good friend” DrunkOtis? 

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DrunkOtis’ Ghostwritten BORING BravoBlog: PumpMyStomach Still Doesn’t Like Me!

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Hi everyone! It is finally here: the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like it’s been forever, but I’m glad we are back. As you know with these blogs, we write them as to how … Continue reading

Adrienne Magoof’s Dating Life … All The Execs In Beverly Hills Are Dating 20-Year-Olds

Adrienne looked so much better when she was with Rod’s kid… YIKES!!  Heard Jacob was over visiting Magoof’s neighbor, ParisHilton, when Magoof isn’t looking.

The Brainy BeverlyHillBillians Advice On How To Find Happiness

RHOBH Premiere Episode: HagfaceKyle Meets PumpMyStomach For The Required Luncheon Sit Down

The required “two Housewives meet in a restaurant for a sit down” scene… with HagfaceKyle and PumpMyStomach.  It doesn’t get any better than this…

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

JenniferGimenez ROBBED!! Goods Can Be Found At DrunkOtis House!

DID WE EVER?  I FORGOT...

I HATE THESE STELLA BAGS… JENNIFER HAS NICER ONES

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Reality “star” Jennifer Gimenez, shown above with DrunkOtis and the love of DrunkOtis’ life, Darin Harvey, will be wearing the finest Forever21 dresses for her next fancy event … because all her good stuff has been stolen.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the actress came home to her L.A. home Monday afternoon and found her front window wide open and the screen thrown to the ground.

Sources close to Jennifer say that she went inside and, to her horror, found several rooms torn apart and $20,000 worth of jewelry, Gucci and Louis Vuitton handbags missing. It happened in broad daylight, yet as far as we can tell there were no witnesses.

NOTE:  If Jennifer would take a ride on over to DrunkOtis’ rented redone house, she would find all Jennifer’s Guccis and LVs.  DrunkOtis is sick and tired of lugging around those Stellas…. too bad, DrunkOtis sold the jewelry to buy three chicken pot pies at Maries.

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HOUSEWIVES STUFF…

 

KYLE

adrian brody

john turturro

YODA

lisar

FELDMAN

ANOTHER DUGGAR DOES IT!!  NOW THAT THEY KNOW HOW TO KISS, THEY’RE READY TO BE HOUSEWIVES… JILL AND DERICK ARE MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!  MICHELLE AND HORNDOG JIMBOB ARE OFF TO ORANGE COUNTY!

DUGGAR

 

(Thanks “anonTW”!!)

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YOLANDA FOSTER: The RHOBH Are “A Bunch Of Clowns”! Just Using RHOBH To Get Her Own “Lifestyle” Show!

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From December 2013:  David Foster blabs to a TorontoPaper about his career goals and then talks about Yolanda Foster and her REAL reasons for being a clown on the RHOBH!  In an interview re David Foster’s quest to win a … Continue reading

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg