What BH Housewives Think Of “BigLipsLisa”

These opinions on new Housewife BigLipsLisa were obviously filmed prior to PumpMyStomach’s plastic surgery.  Translation:  blah, blah, blah… blah, blah, blah… big lips… blah, blah, blah

We give this opinion piece 736499374364,33333333 Kens!

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Something About EileenDavidson…

In preparation for EileenDavidson’s debut appearance in her new role as a BH Housewife, her cast mates give their fluff opinions about Eileen.  Kimbecile and BigLipsLisa are missing.  HagfaceKyle gives her best impression of an actress and fails:

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

judge-judy-dont-pee-on-my-leg

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HagfaceKyle’s BravoBlog…

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We are back! I can’t believe this is the fifth season. This is going to be an exciting , fun-filled season with all the craziness that comes with life’s ups and downs.  We’ll be the judge of that, Kyle! Writing … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview: HagfaceKyle And Kin Take Off In A Rent-A-Jet!

HagfaceKyle fails to mention that “her” jet can be chartered by anyone.  WheelsUp is just another air taxi service for anyone who has the money to purchase aviation time.  WheelsUp is the same as MarquisJet aka NetJets…a taxi in the sky!  Is WheelsUp just another product placement??

If you are unfamiliar with this aspect of private aviation…more info HERE.

WHATEVER WEDNESDAY: Whatever Happened To HagfaceKyle’s Lollipop Kids?

Whatever happened to HagfaceKyle’s “charity”?  WHY did HagfaceKyle abandon her Lollipop Kids?  WHY did Adrienne abandon her “good friend” DrunkOtis? 

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

HOUSEWIVES STUFF…

 

KYLE

adrian brody

john turturro

YODA

lisar

FELDMAN

ANOTHER DUGGAR DOES IT!!  NOW THAT THEY KNOW HOW TO KISS, THEY’RE READY TO BE HOUSEWIVES… JILL AND DERICK ARE MOVING TO NEW JERSEY!  MICHELLE AND HORNDOG JIMBOB ARE OFF TO ORANGE COUNTY!

DUGGAR

 

(Thanks “anonTW”!!)

RHOBH … A Synopsis Of Tonight’s Season Five Premiere

After a sudden and secret departure from Puerto Rico at the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump is still wary of her formerly close friends, but is beginning to reconnect with Yolanda and Kyle. She has no interest in making amends with Brandi, who is also struggling to move past her own hurt. The ladies all come face-to-face at Kyle’s annual White Party and the over-the-top event is bigger and better than ever now that Mauricio’s real estate agency is selling houses upwards of $50 million.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I'LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU'LL MARRY ME?

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I’LL DITCH HAGFACE KYLE IF YOU’LL MARRY ME?

The social event of the season brings original Beverly Hills housewives Adrienne Maloof, Camille Grammer, and Taylor Armstrong back together. As unresolved issues come to the surface, Brandi is faced with making amends with both Lisa and Adrienne at the same event.

WHERE'S THE FATBURGERS??

WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS??

All hell breaks loose at the white party when Kim Richards’ dog sneaks through HagfaceKyle’s back door and proceeds to  bite all the Housewives, returning to bite PumpMyStomach several times, as she smells of Eau de VillaFlankSteak.  Pandemonium ensues as Kingsley cannot be contained… until he discovers the Fatburger stand, where the servers quickly abandon their stations and Kingsley is given free rein to eat all the Fatburgers he can find.  The Fatburgers seem to calm Kingsley.   HagfaceKyle takes over the deserted Fatburger stand to feed Kingsley more Fatburgers, but is secretly petrified with fear each time she feeds Kingsley, knowing that if she forgets a pickle, Kingsley will rip her hand off.

IF I TAKE YOU TO HAGFACE'S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO BITE ANYONE??

IF I TAKE YOU TO  AUNT HAGFACE’S HOUSE DO YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHOMP DOWN ON ANYONE’S LEG OR TEAR OFF  FINGERS??  JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON’T LUNGE FOR  FACES… YOU’LL BE SICK FROM FORMALDEHYDE FOR WEEKS!

Panicked guests are screaming for HagfaceKyle’s hunky husband to remove Kingsley, but Morris cannot be found.  KimRichards leads the remaining guest in a search party for Morris.  MO-ritz-eo is found cowering in FrontPorcha’s closet protecting CamilleGrammer… the only Housewife who still has real estate to sell!

john turturro mauricio pg

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HagfaceKyle Is NOW Spokesperson For Dry Eyes!

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You just KNEW this was coming!  HagfaceKyle has FINALLY gotten herself a spokesperson job, not with Pantene… but with Restasis.  Kyle has been whining about her dry eyes affliction for months, even though she states in interviews that she’s been … Continue reading

SH WITTY WEEKEND! Caption This… Captioned!!

kyle caption

“Hoolrah” will receive a gift certificate to HagfaceKyle’s speech therapist!  FinePrint: HagfaceKyle’s speech therapist’s earliest appointment is March 29, 2031…therapists’ appts are devoted to curing HagfaceKyle’s lizard lip licking!

 

RHOBH Sneak Peek: Girl Fighting, Wine Throwing, Face Slapping … All The BOOOORING Housewives Stuff… And Taglines

Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face.  PMS knew it was coming…

RHOBH PREVIEW SNEAK PEEK: HagfaceKyle Talks White Party, Her Kids And Mauricio’s RealEstateCompany

HagfaceKyle tries her best to conquer that lizard-lip-licking habit of hers, but she just can’t… as she talks glowingly about her upcoming white party (stolen from Truman Capote) and all of her kids.  Little does her kid Alexia know that she’s months away from being viciously attacked by a pit bull!

We just hope that THIS guest at HagfaceKyle’s annual white party makes it this year!

I WAS IN HAGFACE KYLE'S KITCHEN… I THINK I WAS

I LOVE HAGFACE KYLE’S WHITE PARTIES!!!  WHERE’S THE FATBURGERS?

RHOBH Premieres Tuesday, November 18…

rhobh cast

DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.

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Kim’s Statement About Her Pit Bull… Blames Niece… “Looking Into Options”

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Kyle’s daughter was the FOURTH person Kim’s dog has attacked.   Kim has released this statement, in which she blames her niece for invading Kingsley’s space! “First off let me start by saying the safety and welfare of my family … Continue reading

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Kim’s Dog Bites Kyle’s Kid!

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Been waiting for Kim’s dog to go full-on rogue and knew that there was more to the story about HagfaceKyle’s kid in the hospital. It was Kim’s dog, Kingsley the PIT BULL, that bit Kyle’s kid! The attack occurred early … Continue reading