What BH Housewives Think Of “BigLipsLisa”

These opinions on new Housewife BigLipsLisa were obviously filmed prior to PumpMyStomach’s plastic surgery.  Translation:  blah, blah, blah… blah, blah, blah… big lips… blah, blah, blah

We give this opinion piece 736499374364,33333333 Kens!

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PumpMyStomach Says It’s Time To Leave RHOBH … Suddenly Doesn’t Like “Nastiness”!! PUH-LEEEZE!!

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PumpMyStomach is laying the groundwork for her departure from the tanking RHOBH.  PMS claims that she doesn’t like the “nastiness” or the “aggression”… especially since PMS got that phony baloney set-up slap in the face from DrunkOtis.  PMS was happy … Continue reading

Something About EileenDavidson…

In preparation for EileenDavidson’s debut appearance in her new role as a BH Housewife, her cast mates give their fluff opinions about Eileen.  Kimbecile and BigLipsLisa are missing.  HagfaceKyle gives her best impression of an actress and fails:

REALITY CHECK: How Far Is Beach Access From Yoda’s LemonHouse?

YODA

Yoda and DrunkOtis took a walk from Yoda’s lemon house to the Malibu beach. They left Yoda’s lemon house; walked down Yoda’s looooong driveway; walked from the driveway down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH; across the PCH to the beach.

RHOBH yolanda house

More than likely, one of the beachfront homeowners permitted Yoda and DrunkOtis easy access to the beach via their beachfront home.  In reality, how long does it take to walk to one of two public beach accesses from Yoda’s house??

In reality, it takes at least 31 minutes… add another 10-15 minutes just to walk down Yoda’s driveway and back track down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH.  Therefore, in REALITY, it would take, depending on PCH traffic, just under an hour to arrive at the beach from Yoda’s lemon house.

The closest beach access to Yoda’s lemon house is Carbon Beach…

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yoda to beach

(Thanks “Chriss”!!)

A Totally Filler Piece On The RHOBH … DrunkOtis Meets With AdrienneMagoof

Included in tomorrow’s RHOBH, is the required “let’s have lunch so we can move forward” scene, explaining the return of Magoof.  DrunkOtis wants to settle her phony baloney differences with AdrienneMagoof left over from last season… or was it the season before or the season before that… or was it from two seasons ago on the RHONY? These boring shows are so much alike, it’s hard to tell which zip code you’re watching…

 We’re givin’ this preview 88937453534,999999999999 Kens…

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading

DrunkOtis’ Friend, Adrienne…

Who is the mysterious friend who now lives with DrunkOtis… Adrienne?  She loves to help DrunkOtis pack her suitcases… from last season of RHOBH:

NOTE:  A sure sign to tell if someone has not traveled is their brand new suitcases and their brand new monogrammed luggage tags.  A waste if flying commercial… 

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

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DrunkOtis’ Ghostwritten BORING BravoBlog: PumpMyStomach Still Doesn’t Like Me!

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Hi everyone! It is finally here: the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like it’s been forever, but I’m glad we are back. As you know with these blogs, we write them as to how … Continue reading

RHOBH Premiere Episode: HagfaceKyle Meets PumpMyStomach For The Required Luncheon Sit Down

The required “two Housewives meet in a restaurant for a sit down” scene… with HagfaceKyle and PumpMyStomach.  It doesn’t get any better than this…

RHOBH Premiere Episode: The White Party… Stale, Dull And Moth-Eaten

HagfaceKyle’s WhiteParty begins… and it doesn’t get any better than this:

JenniferGimenez ROBBED!! Goods Can Be Found At DrunkOtis House!

DID WE EVER?  I FORGOT...

I HATE THESE STELLA BAGS… JENNIFER HAS NICER ONES

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Reality “star” Jennifer Gimenez, shown above with DrunkOtis and the love of DrunkOtis’ life, Darin Harvey, will be wearing the finest Forever21 dresses for her next fancy event … because all her good stuff has been stolen.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … the actress came home to her L.A. home Monday afternoon and found her front window wide open and the screen thrown to the ground.

Sources close to Jennifer say that she went inside and, to her horror, found several rooms torn apart and $20,000 worth of jewelry, Gucci and Louis Vuitton handbags missing. It happened in broad daylight, yet as far as we can tell there were no witnesses.

NOTE:  If Jennifer would take a ride on over to DrunkOtis’ rented redone house, she would find all Jennifer’s Guccis and LVs.  DrunkOtis is sick and tired of lugging around those Stellas…. too bad, DrunkOtis sold the jewelry to buy three chicken pot pies at Maries.

drunk otis

PumpMyStomach On WWHL: MissAndy Begged PMS To Return… PMS Is Done With DrunkOtis

MissAndy begged PumpMyStomach to return to the RHOBH… that’s the story and they’re both sticking to it!

And BLEEECH! PumpMyStomach is done with DrunkOtis…at least for this season.

NOTE:  Maybe the Housewives shows wouldn’t be so terrible if they were labeled truthfully… as night time soap operas.  The phony friendships, hard-to-believe connections and scripted lines are tiresome to watch and are turning people off.

RHOBH Sneak Peek: Girl Fighting, Wine Throwing, Face Slapping … All The BOOOORING Housewives Stuff… And Taglines

Bravo has enhanced the sound of the “SLAP” across PumpMyStomach’s face.  PMS knew it was coming…

RHOBH Preview SneakPeek: Yoda And DrunkOtis Prance To KingDavid, Run Into Crooks, Yoda Lies About Acreage

DrunkOtis makes her way to Yoda’s hilltop lemon house… which is STILL for sale… only to agree to take a walk with Yoda on the beach, which is ten miles away from Yoda’s lemon house.  But, before they start their five-hour hike, KingDavid performs a sampling of the musical that he’s STILL working on… BettyBoop.  Honestly, who the hell is going to see a musical about BettyBoop???  This must be KingDavid’s only way to get that backing for BettyBoopTheMusical, which he mentioned in one of his many interviews… the same interviews in which he states that the RHOBH are not real!

After the near-death-LymeDisease-ridden Yoda and DrunkOtis prance around to KingDavid’s piano playing, they start their long hike to the beach, but along the way, Yoda discovers a squatter on her property!!

crooks brooks pg

It’s Crooks!!  Selling Vicki’s old clothes from 1989!!

NOTE:  Amazing that LymeYoda had such a conniption fit over pictures of her lemon house on SH showing that it was no where NEAR the beach… it’s obvious that no one wants her hilltop hacienda for $25 million!!

If you missed LemonYoda’s conniption fit about her lemon house… HERE…and Yoda’s nasty twitter attack HERE.   Back in March, Trulia listed LymeYoda’s property as consisting of 3.18 acres, but the acreage is not mentioned In the updated listing.

Yoda apparently wants buyers to think they’re getting FOUR AND A HALF acres…why is Yoda lying about acreage??

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RHOBH Preview: Sneak Peek… Yoda And DrunkOtis Walk And Talk After A 55-Mile Hike To The Beach!

RHOBH yolanda house before lemons RHOBH yolanda house  RHOBH Yolanda house

Yoda and DrunkOtis take a ten-mile hike down from Yoda’s lemon house, dodging traffic and then spending six hours knocking on doors to get permission to access the beach…where Yoda chats about her “model” daughter, Alana, and the other sad drunk “model” daughter, Lemon.

YODA

DrunkOtis has tons of business opportunities and all kinds of other stuff going on, but she still can’t find a house to buy.  At least DrunkOtis has her new RangeRover to love…

 

RHOBH Premieres Tuesday, November 18…

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DrunkOtis is missing from the RHOBH photos… she was tweeting and skanking it up in Australia.

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CARS Of The Housewives…Seriously.

Bravo somehow got the impression that people are bored with the house and closet tours of the Housewives and want to see more, so they’ve added another voyeuristic dimension…Housewives cars.  DrunkOtis and PumpMyStomach explain their vehicles and, of course, DrunkOits is in love sexually attracted to hers: