SH WITTY WEEKEND! Caption This…

CAPTION GIA Teresa

“DinoBaby123″ will receive a tour of the recording studio where the GirlGroup recorded their songs!  FinePrint: Before stepping into the studio, an unpaid lien must be satisfied.  Last checked the amount was $835,633… the GirlGroup just couldn’t get the song right, even WITH auto tune!!

A Totally Filler Piece On The RHOBH … DrunkOtis Meets With AdrienneMagoof

Included in tomorrow’s RHOBH, is the required “let’s have lunch so we can move forward” scene, explaining the return of Magoof.  DrunkOtis wants to settle her phony baloney differences with AdrienneMagoof left over from last season… or was it the season before or the season before that… or was it from two seasons ago on the RHONY? These boring shows are so much alike, it’s hard to tell which zip code you’re watching…

 We’re givin’ this preview 88937453534,999999999999 Kens…

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading

DrunkOtis’ Friend, Adrienne…

Who is the mysterious friend who now lives with DrunkOtis… Adrienne?  She loves to help DrunkOtis pack her suitcases… from last season of RHOBH:

NOTE:  A sure sign to tell if someone has not traveled is their brand new suitcases and their brand new monogrammed luggage tags.  A waste if flying commercial… 

YODA Circa 2012: Airplane Vocals… Followed SH Before She Was Cast On RHOBH

THE 2012 YODA… loved us before she was cast on the RHOBH and before the lemon house photos!!  Yoloncé obviously took advantage of as much auto-tune as possible!!

yolanda foster 2012 tweet

They ALL read/follow SH… only the really REAL Housewives admit it!!

REALITY CHECK: How Far Is Beach Access From Yoda’s LemonHouse?

YODA

Yoda and DrunkOtis took a walk from Yoda’s lemon house to the Malibu beach. They left Yoda’s lemon house; walked down Yoda’s looooong driveway; from the driveway down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH; across the PCH to the beach.

RHOBH yolanda house

Certainly for filming the RHOBH, one of the beachfront homeowners permitted Yoda and DrunkOtis easy access to their beachfront property.  But, in reality, how long does it take to walk to one of two public beach accesses from Yoda’s house??

Add another 10-15 minutes just to walk down Yoda’s driveway and back track down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH.

The closest beach access to Yoda’s lemon house is Carbon Beach…

yolanda house

yoda to beach

(Thanks “Chriss”!!)

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KIM RICHARDS’ DOG BITE SAGA CONTINUES: Is “SecondMother” Looking For A Quick $$$$ Settlement?

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NOTE:  WHAT?!?!   Is this “second mother” even more intellectually challenged than KimRichards?  Kim gave Kingsley to a trainer to be TRAINED… of course, the dog will be returned to Kim! As for the lawsuit, it seems that the “second … Continue reading

RHOBH Preview…

DrunkOtis meets up with Adrienne, jokerfaceRinna meets up with someone(?)… and more producer-induced scenes, including KingDave bestowing his presence upon the biggest clown on the RHOBH!

This preview gets 37769987634,0037443 JudgeJudys…

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PumpMyStomach On Kingsley…

PumpMyStomach chimes in on the “Kingsley Bit Me” issue.  As usual, PMS stays true to her passive/aggressive personality.  Saying that pit bulls are “wonderful” animals…BUT… “I think they are instinctually fighting dogs.”  And, maybe for Kim, that’s not the best breed.  Gee, thanks PMS!

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A Tale Of Two Daughters…

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PICTURES TELL A STORY… It’s crystal clear that Yoda’s other “model” daughter is unhappy, annoyed and depressed.  Yoda has been driving Jello down the same career road as she drove Jello’s older sister, Alana, which is to be a “model” … Continue reading

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GO BACK THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Views Yoda DOESN’T Want You To See!!

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ON THIS SEASON OF THE RHOBH, YODA IS POINTING OUT THE LOCATION OF HER LEMON HOUSE.   YODA DID NOT WANT YOU TO SEE HER LEMON HOUSE LOCATION BACK IN MARCH! UPDATE:  Yoda has quietly reduced the price of her … Continue reading

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HagfaceKyle’s BravoBlog…

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We are back! I can’t believe this is the fifth season. This is going to be an exciting , fun-filled season with all the craziness that comes with life’s ups and downs.  We’ll be the judge of that, Kyle! Writing … Continue reading

Yoda’s Passive/Aggressive Demands…The Absolute Insulting BurglarBalls Of “I’m A Mommy” Yoda!!

RHOBH yoda david pg

Excerpt from Yoda’s BravoBlog:

“I am excited to be blogging with and for you over the next couple of months. I love and appreciate the time you take to share your opinions, even though we might not always agree, I respect your freedom of speech and respect this blogging process.

I am asking in advance to please keep things classy because the most powerful debates are spoken in a clear and respectful manner. All seven of us are mommies of children that are existing in the social media world, so please be sensitive to the power of your thoughts and words.”

HUH???  These chicks knowingly and with forethought go into these contrived, scripted situations in exchange for receiving easy “reality” show money and perks.  They are told to “bring the drama” by producers and obey that command.  They willfully attack each other verbally and physically, trying to top each other with each glass thrown and face slapped!  Who the hell does Yoda think she is to espouse from the top of her lemon grove to all the unwashed below to be “sensitive” because she and others are “mommies of children”!?

As a “mommy,” it is up to YOU to protect your children and to keep them OUT of your story line and OFF our TVs.   SonjaMorgan can give you instructions.

If these Housewives are sensitive to their “kids” being bashed because THEY choose to put them on TV…here’s a very simple suggestion for you, Yoda, and for all the other Housewives who passively/aggressively say that they respect freedom of speech and then turn around to expect boundaries and your own rules to be placed on that freedom:  

Decline that easy “reality” $$$ and get off TV.  

YODA ADDS MORE INSULT TO INJURY:

“…we are seven very different but equally important woman “Important”?  Important to whom? Yoda’s self-agrandizement knows no bounds!! that have feelings just like you but are willing to put ourselves out there to share and give you a peek into some of the most intimate moments of our lives.”

YODA leaves out the rest of her sentence…saying WHY she’s sharing her “most INTIMATE moments”: 

…In exchange for CASH; all-expense-paid trips; being spokespersons for various causes and/or diseases for $$$; being paid for cross-promoting on other shows; writing books; selling romance; making jewelry; pushing wines; buying followers on twitter, FB and instagram to generate more income by mentioning products; making more $$$ for appearance fees; promoting relative’s careers; and, in Yoda’s case, putting up with the BH clowns with the hope of getting her very own “lifestyle” show!

What is utterly insulting about Yoda’s last statement is her assumption that no one else has ever experienced or has knowledge of what she has experienced and is “allowing” everyone just a little glance into her world… and the assumption that one should be grateful to her for sharing!

Yoda’s goal is to push her kids…especially “model” Alana!

(Thanks “TamH”!!)

Counting down to when Yoda will turn into MartyrLymeYoda… 3-2-1… aaaand the tweets of LymeYoda in a hospital room start!  Even when she’s barely clinging to life, MartyrYoda will make good TV share her life.. just for you!!  Oh, the sacrifices she makes… 

RHOBH Preview: HagfaceKyle And Kin Take Off In A Rent-A-Jet!

HagfaceKyle fails to mention that “her” jet can be chartered by anyone.  WheelsUp is just another air taxi service for anyone who has the money to purchase aviation time.  WheelsUp is the same as MarquisJet aka NetJets…a taxi in the sky!  Is WheelsUp just another product placement??

If you are unfamiliar with this aspect of private aviation…more info HERE.

WHATEVER WEDNESDAY: Whatever Happened To HagfaceKyle’s Lollipop Kids?

Whatever happened to HagfaceKyle’s “charity”?  WHY did HagfaceKyle abandon her Lollipop Kids?  WHY did Adrienne abandon her “good friend” DrunkOtis? 

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DrunkOtis’ Ghostwritten BORING BravoBlog: PumpMyStomach Still Doesn’t Like Me!

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Hi everyone! It is finally here: the new season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like it’s been forever, but I’m glad we are back. As you know with these blogs, we write them as to how … Continue reading

Adrienne Magoof’s Dating Life … All The Execs In Beverly Hills Are Dating 20-Year-Olds

Adrienne looked so much better when she was with Rod’s kid… YIKES!!  Heard Jacob was over visiting Magoof’s neighbor, ParisHilton, when Magoof isn’t looking.