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Teresa Signed For Bravo Cooking Show…Says Mystery “Insider”

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  Teresa Giudice may be going to prison on January 5, but once she sheds her orange jumpsuit she’s got a job already waiting for her. The beleaguered Housewife already has a deal to host a cooking show for Bravo and … Continue reading

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What BH Housewives Think Of “BigLipsLisa”

These opinions on new Housewife BigLipsLisa were obviously filmed prior to PumpMyStomach’s plastic surgery.  Translation:  blah, blah, blah… blah, blah, blah… big lips… blah, blah, blah

We give this opinion piece 736499374364,33333333 Kens!

TeresaGiudice Blaming “Negative Forces”… Threatens To Pay $7,500 Herself For Stripper Jr Video!

 GIA

Teresa is secretly blaming her co-stars — and Internet “haters” — for the lackluster response to fundraising efforts for her daughter’s girl band.

“Teresa believes there are negative forces, including co-stars from RHONJ, that are the reason why Gia’s music video fundraising efforts have been a failure so far. Teresa says there are haters that are determined to make sure Gia’s music career goes down in flames,” a source told ROL.

“3KT loves our fans! We want to give you an awesome original Christmas music video in time for the holiday! Join us!

If Gia’s Junior Stripper Group doesn’t get $7,500 by December 12, they won’t be making their Christmas video!!!   BUT… that mystery source says:

The source hinted:

“Expect Teresa to fork over the money if the Kickstarter campaign fails.”

CAPTION GIA Teresa

SH EXCLUSIVE! GiaJoodice GirlGroup’s Christmas Song!!

gia

The brilliant genius “STAN” has provided the lyrics to lil GiaJoodice’s girl group’s new Christmas song!  

jingle christmas

Sung to “JingleBells”…

Dashing through the snow
with the creditors in chase
“Tre” spends all the cash
at an alarming pace…

money
Judge is feeling duped
all her words ignored
juicy Joe was guzzling wine
and passed out on the floor…OHHHHHH

juicy drunk

Prison cells, prison cells, locked up all the way -
Tre and Joe away you go ’cause now it’s time to pay – HEY -

CASH ONLY… FOR MY COMMISSARY ACCOUNT!!

Prison cells, prison cells, locked up all the way -
Tre and Joe away you go ’cause now it’s time to payyyyy….

rhonj giudice christmas

(Thanks “STAN”!!!!)

BOBBY’S TRUTH!! Bobby Sets The Record Straight…

Bobby Ciasulli’s exclusive interview regarding the story behind the story of his relationship with Jim & Amber Marchese and the betrayal brought upon him. The record is set straight regarding false accusations regarding Bobby and the filming of the show. NOTE: Ya mean that Camber didn’t get a call from Bravo because she was a friend of Melissa???

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PumpMyStomach Says It’s Time To Leave RHOBH … Suddenly Doesn’t Like “Nastiness”!! PUH-LEEEZE!!

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PumpMyStomach is laying the groundwork for her departure from the tanking RHOBH.  PMS claims that she doesn’t like the “nastiness” or the “aggression”… especially since PMS got that phony baloney set-up slap in the face from DrunkOtis.  PMS was happy … Continue reading

Something About EileenDavidson…

In preparation for EileenDavidson’s debut appearance in her new role as a BH Housewife, her cast mates give their fluff opinions about Eileen.  Kimbecile and BigLipsLisa are missing.  HagfaceKyle gives her best impression of an actress and fails:

Crooks Now Officially Living With Vicki…

If one were the skeptical type, one could look at Crooks’ diagnosis as the perfect reason for Vicki OFFICIALLY announcing Crooks’ moving into and getting that home equity stake that he’s been looking for from Vicki.  BUUUUT…we all know that Crooks has been living with Vicki for years…

 

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MELISSA GORGA: Talks WackyJackieChan And Danielle…

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Another telling little tidbit from MelissaGorga’s HomeShow appearance in March 2014. At the :30 mark MeGo explains that WackyJackieChan will NOT be on this season of the RHONJ. At the 1:10 mark, MeGo states that she never met Danielle. WackyJackieChan … Continue reading

REALITY CHECK: How Far Is Beach Access From Yoda’s LemonHouse?

YODA

Yoda and DrunkOtis took a walk from Yoda’s lemon house to the Malibu beach. They left Yoda’s lemon house; walked down Yoda’s looooong driveway; walked from the driveway down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH; across the PCH to the beach.

RHOBH yolanda house

More than likely, one of the beachfront homeowners permitted Yoda and DrunkOtis easy access to the beach via their beachfront home.  In reality, how long does it take to walk to one of two public beach accesses from Yoda’s house??

In reality, it takes at least 31 minutes… add another 10-15 minutes just to walk down Yoda’s driveway and back track down CarbonCanyonRd to the PCH.  Therefore, in REALITY, it would take, depending on PCH traffic, just under an hour to arrive at the beach from Yoda’s lemon house.

The closest beach access to Yoda’s lemon house is Carbon Beach…

yolanda house

yoda to beach

(Thanks “Chriss”!!)

sorbonne paris

YOUR OPINIONS NEEDED! Masters Thesis On Housewives…

sorbonne paris

SH has been asked to assist one of our international readers in their Housewives research!  His questions would be better answered by as many SH readers/viewers of the Housewives franchises as possible and not strictly the viewpoint of SH.

Therefore, kindly respond in comments to assist…

BACKGROUND…

“Hello. I’m coming to you today because I’m doing a thesis on the Housewives franchise. I’m a French student at Sorbonne in Paris, France. I’m currently doing a master in translation studies in english. Indeed, I would like to be an english translator. I have this class which is about the media in the US and we have to focus on a show (whether it’s an actual show or a reality tv show). So obviously, I chose the Real Housewives. Being a big fan of the franchise, I couldn’t miss this opportunity.

But the problem is I’m not American. And I would need your help, and the help of the SH readers to help me for this thesis. I have several questions I would like you to ask the readers so that I can put the general feeling of the answers (and even some answers that I would like to quote) in the work.”  Signed “M.E.”

IN GENERAL…  he is researching

“the perception of these shows, the core values etc”  

And would like his paper to focus on

“how Bravo manipulates the viewers” 

SPECIFICALLY… your answers to these questions:

  1. WHEN WAS THE MOMENT YOU REALIZED THAT THE SHOWS LOST THEIR “SPARK”?  

  2. WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT THE SHOWS WERE NO LONGER WORTH VIEWING?  

  3. IS THERE ANY ENTERTAINMENT VALUE LEFT IN ANY OF THE HOUSEWIVES SHOWS?   PLEASE EXPLAIN.

NOTE:  As these are broad topics and some words have have been lost in translation, kindly do your best to answer!  Your opinions are appreciated!  

AND…If you have a twitter account, please tweet!!

SH WITTY WEEKEND! Caption This…

CAPTION GIA Teresa

“DinoBaby123″ will receive a tour of the recording studio where the GirlGroup recorded their songs!  FinePrint: Before stepping into the studio, an unpaid lien must be satisfied.  Last checked the amount was $835,633… the GirlGroup just couldn’t get the song right, even WITH auto tune!!

A Totally Filler Piece On The RHOBH … DrunkOtis Meets With AdrienneMagoof

Included in tomorrow’s RHOBH, is the required “let’s have lunch so we can move forward” scene, explaining the return of Magoof.  DrunkOtis wants to settle her phony baloney differences with AdrienneMagoof left over from last season… or was it the season before or the season before that… or was it from two seasons ago on the RHONY? These boring shows are so much alike, it’s hard to tell which zip code you’re watching…

 We’re givin’ this preview 88937453534,999999999999 Kens…

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RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: Kimbecile Visits DrunkOtis’ Newest Rented House

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DrunkOits has never looked skankier as she welcomes professional packing expert, KimRichards, into her new rented house. DrunkOtis and her new crew take time out for the required scene of the young movers flashing their abs… DrunkOtis and Yoda have … Continue reading

Gallery

RHOBH SNEAK PEEK: More of PumpMyStomach v HagfaceKyle

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While selecting fabrics for her shirt order, PumpMyStomach gives the full run down of how she picked up her newest employee… who just happened to be walking to her job interview when PMS picked her up and the rest is … Continue reading