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MELISSA GORGA: First Excerpt From Book… Written By Snooki’s Ghostwriter… Scathing Customer Reviews

Missy  RHONJ Melissa Gorga

Missy’s marriage book is still up for pre-order on Amazon.com.

melissa book cover

The enticement to order her book is an excerpt from the first chapter, which covers her “poor me” life from birth through high school in Florida where she withstood “hate” from other students (what a surprise!!!) up until the death of her father and move back to New Jersey.

RHONJ MELISSA BOOK  cover ARROW

Much more interesting and entertaining than the book excerpt is that of the customer reviews:

“Wow…just read an exerpt from this useless drivel and am amazed that someone actually published this dreck! My 8 year old grandson can write a better story than this woman. I really believe she did write it herself as it is that horrible that I can’t see a ghostwriter doing this unless they were cursed with zero talent. Don’t waste your money or your time on this book. It reads like and old Dick and Jane 1st grade reader. I really wish Bravo would stop putting these train wrecks on the air and get some quality programming. They have these idiotic women believing their own BS and we all need to stop feeding these monsters!”

This customer doesn’t read SH… got info from inscrutable source that JoGo wears a piece!

“…not sure if you watched this past Sunday’s show but the “black shoe polish” that was all over them was from Joe Gorga’s black hairspray..!! There was no mention on the show or in blogs that he lost a hairpiece during the unfortunate fight. Oh, My…another cover-up! Melissa writing a book about a great marriage and giving advice on how to obtain one is a very bad joke. But, I see there is a great new grilling book from TG..!! Firing up the grill now..!!”

Another customer who has Mego’s number!

What an absolute DISGRACE to Italian Americans! This “wench” should be writing about how to manipulate a gullible”mono” into marriage, how to lie to cover more lies, or how to become the wedge in a family.

This customer would like to see the REAL stuff!  If any Housewife were to write a tell-all, it would be JillZ… the Housewives have a gag order in their contracts!

“Publishers, Amazon, and BRAVO, instead of these insipid “advice” books from your “BRAVOlebrities”, how about allowing some hard cold truths to come out about your cast members?! I know I’d buy a book about how the Housewives shows are scripts and edited to show a different perception of the actual reality. I’d also buy a book about the fraudulent activities of the Laurita’s & Manzo’s (defrauding the Komen Charity, lying to a federal judge, lying to the people of NJ and receiving health benefits, affairs, etc). A book exposing Joe & Melissa Gorga’s past (his rape charge that was dropped, shady financial dealings including selling his parents home out from under them, living in the spec house they built, etc
Melissa’s lies about stripping, her & her sisters attacks on Teresa, Juicy, their kids, her ex ( Will leave unnamed due to his health issues) and oh so many more). Show these story lines on the show and see the ratings increase again. The same “destroy the Guidice at all costs” storyline is tired and old. As a former viewer, I know those storylines would bring me back. Teresa & Joe are no saints and have their fair share of problems, but my God, 3 seasons of constant bashing and then 3 hate fests(reunion shows) are beyond old and have disgusted many viewers. PLEASE, NO MORE USELESS HOUSEWIVES BOOKS!!! Books disclosing real behind the scenes producer shenanigans and lies perpetrated on the viewers?…YES,YES, AND YES SOME MORE!! Books on the truth behind the housewives and househusbands, YES!!”   NOTE:  Another customer who has not been reading SH!  LOL!!!

 

NOTE:   MeGo’s “writing” is almost as good as her singing!  However, what can be expected when her book was written by Snooki’s ghostwriter… see SH December 20, 2012.

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89 comments on “MELISSA GORGA: First Excerpt From Book… Written By Snooki’s Ghostwriter… Scathing Customer Reviews

  1. Since nothing else is making her and SloJo relevant, I’m waiting for the “secret…ooops, how dare they break into our house and only steal a copy of our special made for our eyes only sex tape” to come out. LMAO….you know it’s coming.

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    • I wouldn’t be surprised. At all. A “sex tape” may sell a heck of a lot better than a book because there are fetishists (s/p?) who are really into midget porn.

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  2. This has got to be a joke! A lady who can’t learn any dance moves, but makes varsity, not freshman varsity, but senior varsity! Oh my goodness, that can’t be real, it was so bad, lol! I am in shock that this ridiculous book, is being published, just shocked, lol!

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  3. Ms. SH- I want your book, your book, your book! I don’t even do polls but I clicked on that one. I know, blasphemous to put this request on a page about MeGo. But _Please_, pretty please???

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  4. Anyone in the book trade know how far ahead books get printed? I wonder if the twitter exes are best keeping quiet until after it goes to print, so she can’t revise her way out of it. But I guess she’s already planned for that, since she’s knows what truths could hit.

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    • I’m thinking that they will print a first run of books based on the “pre-order” because Mel always says “pre-order, pre-order, pre-order.” I think unless you are a die hard fan, you would wait for a review or read sections as they are available ahead of time.

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  5. *Sigh* I don’t think Melissa really meant that She and Snookie both had the same “ghost writer”. I think Melissa had Snookie do the editing and that was that. The editor didn’t catch that she was slumped over the steering wheel while fists slammed the car’s roof, but she was desperate to flee and hopped into the car when they were beating on it- in the same sentence.
    “The thirty girls were now slamming their fists on the roof of the car. It was like a scene from a gang movie that ended with me slumped and alone in the car. Desperate to flee, I hopped back in and started tapping the gas, hoping the girls would move out of the way. But they kept beating on the roof, the hood and the doors.”

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    • Yeah..how did she get into the car while thirty girls were pounding on it? I know those girls in FL are skinny, but line em up around a car, no room for thirty. Maybe fifteen. Did they open the door and let her in….then continue pounding? That makes sense. I feel better.

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    • Oh, Tammy- I’m there with ya. Sadly, I think a ghost-writer is involved- albeit a Z-listish one. I noticed the use of supposed advanced writing techniques, such as “Prefer openers.” Someone had to turn ~’Like a ship without a sail’ into “Rudderless.” Can you imagine receiving MeGo’s draft? Bet the poor woman’s head was _essplodin._

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  6. I wonder if part of the Bravo HW contract stipulates some sort of commercial product, such as a book? There’s nothing much at all about Melissa that is so compelling I would want to read about her life. We know she can’t sing too well and her songs are mediocre. But if she had a longstanding hobby or deep interest, that would have been better I think.

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  7. Remember when she said ” i am actually writing the book”…oh that that shorewhore really did…write it…she actually WROTE THE BOOK…LOL

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