We can’t be like KellyBensimon and just go on living our REAL lives… we BELONG on TV!! Don’t we?
The husband of an EX-Housewife is attempting to win a contest and needs your votes.
“Vote for ME as best reality TV star turned singer”
Simon van Kempen released this statement via his Facebook page:
I laid low and made it through the 1st three rounds beating out every other Bravo (or Ex Bravo) Reality person in the process and now I need your help to win the final. Please just take a few seconds to vote for me.
I don’t hassle you much on Facebook and all this takes is a couple of clicks. Please VOTE (as often as you like) before the poll closes this Thursday!
The voting takes place at RyanSeacrest.com…
Note to Simon: Your promise of making another single if you win this poll is NOT an incentive for anyone to vote for you…
…nor does seeing anyone’s “van Kempen”!!
Simon and Alex McCord were last spotted on CelebrityWhatever… trying to mend their **cough, cough**shattered marriage…
Simon and Alex LOVE that “reality show” easy money… and will consider all offers!
We DON’T wanna see anymore of this!
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OH… who cares about all these Housewives?
The most important item for today is this:
March 4 is NATIONAL GRAMMAR DAY!
As part of National Grammar Day, there was a haiku contest… and this is the winning haiku… created by Akira Okrent:
I am an error
And I will reveal myself
After you press send
This was the winning haiku from last year:
Being a dangler,
Jane knew it would have to come
out of the sentence
There is also a list of songs which made the “Grammar Songwriting Hall of Shame!”
The number one shameful grammar song is by Bob Dylan… you can listen to the entire BadGrammarPlaylist here!
BUT… We’re gonna feature another bad grammar song on the list… “TakeTheMoneyAndRun” by the Steve Miller Band.
WHY did we choose a song by the SteveMillerBand?
‘Cause the SteveMillerBand also wrote John Turturro’s theme song… “TheJoker”!!!
You can also visit NationalGrammarDay.com to find out more about NGD!
NOTE: Since Camille Grammer might have some extra time on her hands, she would be the perfect spokesmodel for NationalGrammarDay! Grammar…. Grammer. Get it? Camille would probably have to write a haiku as part of the process!
haiku plural of hai·ku (Noun)
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Noun
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Now… who the hell had the very bad leg? The hint was that she was on a Bravo show… NOT that she is or ever was a Housewife!
The answer: that butter-lovin’ Queen of suthern cookin’… Paula Deen!!
Oh… we love us some Pauler! Paula has gone through some troubling times and has found herself to he happy and seeming to be havin’ herself a good old time!! Go on witcher self, Paula Deen!! Don’t matter what your legs look like… you ain’t on no Housewives show! Have yourself a good time and sell those hams!!
Yeah, happy national grammar day to Ms. SH, who deserves accolades for constantly trying to correct the stoopid HW’s poor grammar!! You rock!
Those leg veins scare me. That HAS to be dangerous, medically, doesn’t it??
Boy, Paula needs to consider some serious vein removal…yuck! That couple, Simon and Alex, just completely freak me out and Simon makes my skin crawl to listen to him and look at him…double yuck. They deserve one another. I can’t imagine how weird their kids will turn out once grown.
According to that nauseating pair, their older son was kicked off of a plane because the crew feared he’d “act up”. For them to say that on national television really shows how they will do or say anything or use anyone (even their kids) for more camera exposure.
Paula’s legs are awful.I would not be caught dead in shorts/dresses anything that revealed those ugly legs.Her face and legs dont match for sure.Pretty face but ugly on the lwer bottom.
Simon makes me want to barf.He is butt ugly and just nasty looking.Alex a “super model”?? Those 2 deserve each other.Aliex is butt ugly too.Fame whores.
Yes, ITA. Simone (who needs an eye job) & Alex (who needs a personality transplant) are seriously fugly. And yet, they believe they are the most adorable, gorgeous couple to walk the earth. It must be nice to be myopic and chronically delusional.
Love Paula Deen’s heart. She really did get a wake up call with the diabetes. And I am sure it was hard work to drop the weight that she has already given her love of all things tasty.
MP: Nice!! A girl and her guitar… a girl who can actually carry a tune! How could that be? LOL!! TFC!! SH
I always hated how Anthony Bourdain dissed her. Ya, Anthony, some of us prefer comfort food and common sense talk to heroin and crazy Japanese organ meat dishes served in Indonesian hotels, so flake off!
Anthony is the largest piece of pompous ass ever to be seen on a show. He is such an obnoxious pig.
I LOVE Paula Deen despite the fact that she makes food that I would never eat AND she has unsightly varicose veins.
That leg – ewww. I thought it belonged to Ken Todd. As for Simon van Krappen’s comeback – a double ewwww. I saw his live performance on WWHL and he stank to high heaven. He couldn’t carry a tune and the lyrics were laughable. He was sweating and nervous. He should have titled that ditty, “I am SurReal”. Has that man (I use the term loosely) no pride? For Shame.
Simon has “turned” singer??? Since when? How? And most importantly, why?? Is he as good as the countess? Oh, I must go check this out!!
He did it for the exposure and to try to remain somewhat relevant. He also tried to top LuAnn on ITunes. However, LuAnn had better stage presence and composure. Whereas, Simple Simon reminded me of a participant on the “Gong Show”.
Ok. I could only take it for 8 seconds. More than enough. Dreadful. Gonna need an hour or two of Mozart after this. Ouch.
I watched it and couldnt think of anything except, that poor delusional man! How do ssome of these people get up and play the fool yet think they are superstars? He was actually worse than LuAnn…er…maybe a tie.
Let me guess Simon Van kempen and Melissa Gorga duets. The truck stop tour!
Poor Simon, I once saw him on the subway, he was standing right next to me. He looked poor (cheap suit and scuffed shoes) and in need of a shower, desperate, and unfortunately also very creepy. I truly felt sooo sorry for him, so much so that I can’t talk about him.
He sorta had an air about him of a scared wounded child…..poor poor thang.
GF: So traumatic!! What happens when you see his picture?? TFC!! SH
LOL!!! It’s hard SH very hard, but I manage to hold back the tears.
SH, you crack me up big time!!!!
SH, it was almost as traumatic as the entire world having the displeasure of seeing Simon in a speedo.
GF: OH! You have my deepest sympathies! The nightmares you must have! BLEEEECH!! LOL!! TFC!! SH
REALLY? Are you absolutely SURE it was Simon? First off, he always looked groomed and in expensive suits (or his clown clothes – that were also costly). Next, he was extremely vain (using cologne and hair spray, etc.). Finally, he also loved to sport his pink loafers (because he loved color). Maybe, he has a homeless twin roaming around NYC?
No lynda it was him, 100%, FYI he IS poor. He was noticed by some one else too. Simon was inches away from me, no mistaking it. Also lynda u see him on camera , the camera is kind, and he is putting his best foot forward, although he’s still gross on camera as well. He was obviously going home from work from the rinky dink hotel he worked at.
Wow, Girlfriend. That is unbelievable. I sort of feel sorry for him now. Not that I want to have to watch him on any show, though…
Poor Paula. She should get in touch with PT and see where to get her one of those fake legs.
Simon, Alex, please, get jobs!
I say don’t count Camille out until the fat lady sings!
What happens to the winner of Ryan Seacrest’s little contest?
Lynda: Tree won… she gets a recording contract complete with auto-tune! LOL!! TFC!! SH
That’s funny. With that voice, I think Tree would need auto-tune, right?