REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP
Season Three, Episode Sixteen ”The Real Housewives of Paris, Part Deux”
by Sandi Duffy
Back to the crapfest that is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The problem with all the Housewives shows is that they are too friggin’ long. This is my 16th post about Beverly Hills and I missed an episode or two. There used to be a lot less episodes, so it was fun and interesting. Now they drag out each franchise until it’s endless leaving the viewers bored out of their skulls.
So we are still in Paris and Yolanda and Brandi are jogging around the Seine River. I’m going to say it. I hate France. There, it’s out. I have been to Italy and Spain also and loved those countries, but I am not a fan of France.
Kyle is wearing high heels in Paris on the cobblestone streets. What a moron. You wear low heeled comfortable shoes when touring in any city, but especially one with cobblestone streets. These women and their high ridiculous heels. Ugh!
Kim is slurring her way through Paris, shopping with Ken and Lisa. There’s talk of Kim and Kyle’s relationship and I don’t care anymore. Kyle is a bitch and needs Kim to be a mess to feel better about herself. And she stole her house. And still with the ridiculous high heeled shoes. Listen, when I go away I pack slutty high heels, too, but for day time walking around I pack comfortable, fashionable flats.
OMG, I am so bored I want to hang myself. Blah, blah, blah, we all know that Kim is off and slurring her words. Now, in the words of Brandi, Shut the f–k up!
The ladies are all taking a cooking class while in Paris because that’s just what I would want to do on my vacation…cook. Ok, I actually do cook on my vacation when I hit the Jersey shore with my kids.
Big dramatic moment when Yolanda and Kyle can’t get Kim to open the door to her room. My theory is she was taking a dump. Can’t a girl poop in peace?
The ladies leave the men behind to take a cooking class. Lucky men. Then again, that means Ken has to hang out with Maurice. Poor Ken.
Kim can’t even remember who she spent the afternoon with. But it was all just a mediation mix up. You know, like Trailor not knowing where her daughter was was a communication mix-up between her mother and her nanny.
At their cooking class, the ladies are expected to chop the head off of a duck. Kim is the only one who can handle it. Then they have to peel turnips. There is no part of this that looks like fun to me…and I actually really like to cook.
Ken and Maurice take a luxury bus over to where the ladies are cooking. Maurice and Ken seem to have made up. Damn, I was hoping for a smack down.
I AM SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s five minutes later, everyone is sitting down to dinner, and I AM STILL BORED!
The fact that Brandi is so protective of Kim , even though Kim still hasn’t owned up to how horrid she was to her last season, makes me like Brandi. I know she pulls the “I am so poor” and the wronged woman card way too much, but her kindness to a woman who owes her a HUGE apology makes her a better woman than me.
There is so much to do in Paris, even if I do hate it, and all these women do is shop. I can shop anywhere. Why don’t they go to the Louvre or something?
We are now 45 minutes into this show and I am falling asleep. And if this is Kim sober, then I see very little difference between sober Kim and drunk Kim.
Oh great, Ken and Maurice are riding around on segways. Someone kill me now for watching this.
Since I am so bored, I am going to promote another show in the middle of my recap. I am obsessed with Ripper Street on BBCAmerica. It was supposed to be a miniseries and the last episode airs this Sunday, but you can purchase the DVDs. I don’t know if you can get it on Netflix yet. I heard a rumor that it was so successful in the UK that they are going to film a second season to air in 2014. It also stars three really good-looking men, Matthew MacFayden (from MI-5), Jerome Flynn (from Game of Thrones), and Adam Rothenberg (most recently as Watson‘s ex-boyfriend on Elementary).
Oh, so Lisa and Kyle discuss their “friendship” at the Eiffel Tower. Kyle is the world’s shittiest friend, that’s all that needs to be said…and she’s all jealous that Lisa and Brandi are friends. Kyle fake cries and I so sick of her fake crying. And are giant hoop earrings in again? Both Lisa and Kyle are wearing them in this episode.
I just hope that Brandi isn’t going to be another Cedric, conning Lisa and Ken.
Next week, Yolanda calls Trailor an asshole and I’m psyched.
YoFo has a chat with Shana…