Yeah, Kim… me and John stole this house from you, too!! Dontja love it??
Ken, dahling, wouldn’t it have been a lot easier all ’round if I married your son?
Yes, my darling… that’s a bloody wompin’ good idea! I love it! Which son are you talkin’ about? Are you talkin’ about Max or Warren or Cedric… or the other ones that Bravo’s gonna spring on you for some “surprise” dram-er?
Why don’t you just marry our lil Gigster here? You like him better than you like me anyway… or why don’t you marry MO-reese?
OR… just marry Dr. Paul! There’s a smashin’ good idea! If you married Dr. Paul, then I could marry Camille or Adrienne! We could keep this show goin’ on for years!
Dave Rupel told me that I had to talk with you about your big drinkin’ problem. So, don’t go blamin’ me for this phony baloney scene… OK?
This is my big emotional acting scene, DO NOT blow this for me! I’m stretching my craft! Just accept it. Hey… acceptance!! That’s one of the twelve steps! Are you doin’ twelve steps or are you gonna keep rowin’ that boat down that River of Da Nile?
OK… you look like you’re in your happy place, so now I can tell you why I’m REALLY here: You are NOT goin’ to Paris with us. Yer NOT goin’… NOT.
Did you hear me? Yer NOT goin’… just like you didn’t go to Hawaii last year. Those guys at Bravo just don’t like you! Have you thought about turtles? T-U-R-T-L-E-S Just sayin’ the word helps me. Try it…
Yolanda, my BlueBurka-BooBabe, why did we ever get divorced? We had it so good with our names… everybody called us YoMo or MoYo! It was perfect!
Vell, YOU messed up dat perfect name wit other names! How about “SkankyJo”? Does DAT name ring a bell?
I’m just tryin’ to help Mo unload this dog of a house that’s been on the market for over a year…
You’re only askin’ $53 million for this place? Have you told MO-reese that he’s not gonna be your agent? I can’t wait to see the look on his face when you tell him!
We haven’t gotten to the part where I say that I have to sell real estate because he can’t produce a heada lettuce, let alone a movie! That comes next season!
For God’s sake, Kyle… CALM DOWN! You just saw me yesterday!
OH… you just heard that Mo-reese vill not be da agent on dis house deal. Yeah… sorry ’bout dat! Like we Dutch like to say: ”Too bad… So sad!”
ATTENTION EVERYONE! Besides being David’s vife… and sellin’ all kinda romancin’-type stuff… I already wrote 537 songs… David made me a “lyricist”!!
So, what’s this proposition you have for us, Mom?
We think it would be much easier for everyone if I was married to Ken’s son. That would make me Sue’s mother and I could tell her what to do! Whatdaya think?
I kinda like that idea, Mom! Does that mean I get to be on DancingWithTheStars, too?
Yo-ho-h0 and a bottle of rum… I’m gettin’ rid of me wife… and gonna have me some fun!
Driver’s license… check. Passport… check. Vodka in my coffee cup… check. Pretendin’ like there’s hot liquid in this cup… double double check check! Where’s my Ken?
We’re so excited to be flyin’ on a airplane! Just SO excited!! We have to act excited and act like we’ve never been anywhere before… so all the Bravo viewers who have never been on an airplane think goin’ to Paris is a big deal! Just play along with us… OK?
Who the hell is this? Cedric? PamDana? KELSEY! Dammit, Kelsey… stop calling me! I know your voice!
Howz it been for you two? I’d love to continue this swapping experiment. Everybody’s happy…. look at my Ken! He’s never smiled so much in his bloody life!
Tell her she’s getting on our nerves, Warren! Tell her about the three day rule, too…
Oh, Mo-reeeeese! Kiss me! And kiss me more! And then thank me for finagling this job with Bravo… how else would we be in Paris for weeks and not spending our own money?
Vot have I done? Belgium is only a country away…
I’m poor! Is there an extra seat on David’s plane? I’d never ask you, but even though I’m makin’ money from my book, my clothes, and all that cash from appearance fees, I still don’t have a husband who can send a private plane for poor me. OH, I am so poor! Did I tell you that my wine is comin’ out next week and my single will be on iTunes next month?
He “lost” Giggy. Yeah, we have to show people how much we’re just like them, so we’re snipping expenses. Giggy will be fine in Paris… we’re gonna adopt Jackpot when we get back home.
I’m leavin’ you now, Giggy. TaTa, toodles and all that! Good luck, old boy!
Yes, Kyle… everyone has been sent the email warning them to only look at your glorious hair! Yes, Kyle… I told them to never look at anything else… only your hair. Seriously, Kyle.. I’m gonna get back wit Faye if you don’t stop wit da hair stuff!
LOOKY!! IT’S FIREWORKS!! REAL FIREWORKS!
OH! You ARE poor! You’ve never seen fireworks before? OH… poor, poor Brandi!!