Yeah, Kim… me and John stole this house from you, too!! Dontja love it??
Ken, dahling, wouldn’t it have been a lot easier all ’round if I married your son?
Yes, my darling… that’s a bloody wompin’ good idea! I love it! Which son are you talkin’ about? Are you talkin’ about Max or Warren or Cedric… or the other ones that Bravo’s gonna spring on you for some “surprise” dram-er?
Why don’t you just marry our lil Gigster here? You like him better than you like me anyway… or why don’t you marry MO-reese?
OR… just marry Dr. Paul! There’s a smashin’ good idea! If you married Dr. Paul, then I could marry Camille or Adrienne! We could keep this show goin’ on for years!
Dave Rupel told me that I had to talk with you about your big drinkin’ problem. So, don’t go blamin’ me for this phony baloney scene… OK?
Blurp…
This is my big emotional acting scene, DO NOT blow this for me! I’m stretching my craft! Just accept it. Hey… acceptance!! That’s one of the twelve steps! Are you doin’ twelve steps or are you gonna keep rowin’ that boat down that River of Da Nile?
Blurp…
OK… you look like you’re in your happy place, so now I can tell you why I’m REALLY here: You are NOT goin’ to Paris with us. Yer NOT goin’… NOT.
Blurp…
Did you hear me? Yer NOT goin’… just like you didn’t go to Hawaii last year. Those guys at Bravo just don’t like you! Have you thought about turtles? T-U-R-T-L-E-S Just sayin’ the word helps me. Try it…
Blurp…
Yolanda, my BlueBurka-BooBabe, why did we ever get divorced? We had it so good with our names… everybody called us YoMo or MoYo! It was perfect!
Vell, YOU messed up dat perfect name wit other names! How about “SkankyJo”? Does DAT name ring a bell?
I’m just tryin’ to help Mo unload this dog of a house that’s been on the market for over a year…
You’re only askin’ $53 million for this place? Have you told MO-reese that he’s not gonna be your agent? I can’t wait to see the look on his face when you tell him!
We haven’t gotten to the part where I say that I have to sell real estate because he can’t produce a heada lettuce, let alone a movie! That comes next season!
For God’s sake, Kyle… CALM DOWN! You just saw me yesterday!
OH… you just heard that Mo-reese vill not be da agent on dis house deal. Yeah… sorry ’bout dat! Like we Dutch like to say: ”Too bad… So sad!”
Blurp…
ATTENTION EVERYONE! Besides being David’s vife… and sellin’ all kinda romancin’-type stuff… I already wrote 537 songs… David made me a “lyricist”!!
So, what’s this proposition you have for us, Mom?
We think it would be much easier for everyone if I was married to Ken’s son. That would make me Sue’s mother and I could tell her what to do! Whatdaya think?
I kinda like that idea, Mom! Does that mean I get to be on DancingWithTheStars, too?
Yo-ho-h0 and a bottle of rum… I’m gettin’ rid of me wife… and gonna have me some fun!
Driver’s license… check. Passport… check. Vodka in my coffee cup… check. Pretendin’ like there’s hot liquid in this cup… double double check check! Where’s my Ken?
We’re so excited to be flyin’ on a airplane! Just SO excited!! We have to act excited and act like we’ve never been anywhere before… so all the Bravo viewers who have never been on an airplane think goin’ to Paris is a big deal! Just play along with us… OK?
Who the hell is this? Cedric? PamDana? KELSEY! Dammit, Kelsey… stop calling me! I know your voice!
Howz it been for you two? I’d love to continue this swapping experiment. Everybody’s happy…. look at my Ken! He’s never smiled so much in his bloody life!
Tell her she’s getting on our nerves, Warren! Tell her about the three day rule, too…
Oh, Mo-reeeeese! Kiss me! And kiss me more! And then thank me for finagling this job with Bravo… how else would we be in Paris for weeks and not spending our own money?
Vot have I done? Belgium is only a country away…
I’m poor! Is there an extra seat on David’s plane? I’d never ask you, but even though I’m makin’ money from my book, my clothes, and all that cash from appearance fees, I still don’t have a husband who can send a private plane for poor me. OH, I am so poor! Did I tell you that my wine is comin’ out next week and my single will be on iTunes next month?
He “lost” Giggy. Yeah, we have to show people how much we’re just like them, so we’re snipping expenses. Giggy will be fine in Paris… we’re gonna adopt Jackpot when we get back home.
I’m leavin’ you now, Giggy. TaTa, toodles and all that! Good luck, old boy!
Yes, Kyle… everyone has been sent the email warning them to only look at your glorious hair! Yes, Kyle… I told them to never look at anything else… only your hair. Seriously, Kyle.. I’m gonna get back wit Faye if you don’t stop wit da hair stuff!
LOOKY!! IT’S FIREWORKS!! REAL FIREWORKS!
OH! You ARE poor! You’ve never seen fireworks before? OH… poor, poor Brandi!!
Like we Dutch like to say: ”Too bad… so sad!”
Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.
You just made that show way more interesting than it actually was.
Some people call me the space cowboy
Some people call me the gangster of love
Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!
Perfection Miss SH, merci for the laughs!!!!
Great recaps…. LMFAO:-)
Hey Kyle . . . . Crystal Gayle called & she wants her hairstyle back from 1970!! Newsflash, you aren’t in your 20′s any longer & you need an updated hairstyle ASAP.
In one of those pics above Kyle looks like Crystal Gayle with Groucho Marx eyebrows.
of all the things I hate Vyle for, I do have to say that as someone with thin and fine hair, having it long and healthy looking isnt a possible combination. I will say that she does have beautiful hair, would look great made into a wig for a woman with cancer because they’d really appreciate it.
As always, SH, great recap!
The franchise has landed in France, people! Just saw a trailer for the “vraies housewives” (awful awful title) Everything is copied/pasted on the RHBH: the music, credits, style and attitudes…There are 4 women. I m not sure if it’s going to work, looks lame… Have a look if you want:
http://videos.nt1.tv/les-vraies-housewives/chez-les-vraies-housewives-on-ne-dit-pas-bonjour-comme-ailleurs-7856166-846.html
There are five of them french housewives, and they live in LA! They couldn’t pull it off here, I can’t see a “Paris” version happening anytime soon, but who knows. They are ugly (not Shana ugly, real ugly) and seem to have watched every episode of RHBH in the way they bring the fake drama on screen. Bored already but I will give it a look to see if the fake plotlines are the same as in the US
Mal, the video won’t play outside the country. sounds very bizzar. so it’s shot in la bh’s? they’re going to have to go to a lot of locations. the cast does look like they need a little tweaking. part of the show is getting fillers and enhancers. so, could be interesting.
hey Burger! When I watched the trailer, I was puzzled by the style of the houses (and the faces of the ladies) I was like “where the heck did they shoot that, this doesn’t look french at all” and then I learned that they were in LA, it made more sense. I ll try and post a link you can play
Tell me if this link works:
http://www.melty.fr/les-vraies-housewives-l-adaptation-francaise-a161586.html
Malaika: Videos from outside of the US cannot be viewed by US… unless they add the video on YouTube. That is why we’ve given up on Real Housewives of Vancouver; cannot access their videos on Slice in Canada! TFC!! SH
duly noted Miss SH, I had no idea it worked (or rather didn’t work) both ways, but it makes sense
Malaika: No problem!! It’s frustrating! TFC!!! SH
Oh yes it is frustrating!!! That’s why I love this site!!!
What is up with those glamor shot poses? The brunette running her fingers through her hair and the blonde on the end with the gigantic forehead clutching her chin. Who told them that is sexy?!
The best is your characterization of Traylor-Park (“blurp”). Her hair is so straggly. She looks like she would greatly benefit from a flea dip.
Speaking of hair, I have wondered before, she is so thin and wonder if her hair falls out? She needs some hair vitamins, but then again the alcohol will cancel out the minerals. As for the comment about Kyle and the Crystal Gayle hair that is pretty accurate, long is pretty if you do something with it. I hate to be mean, but I just do not understand Kyle’s sense of style, her clothes are old lady like, baggy, and the patterns. I think Lisa wares extentions in her hair or a piece she puts on top to give it life, didn’t she reaveal that last season? Yolanda always has her hair pulled back in some type of bun. Camielle’s hair always looks nice and at least Kim tries to style hers with out the Marcia Brady straight look from 1972. I like Adrienne but last season she had those Christmas tree ice sicles in her hair.
Yes, Lisa does use extensions and had her son Max helping her put it on. That is one reason I love Lisa she doesn’t lie. She puts it right out there instead of trying to cover up. The good thing about that is then nobody can call you on it like Camille attempted.
Yes, the Traylor blurp! It’s perfect for her since she is so often inebriated and cuz she’s got those fish lips! Great idea SH.
Blurp!
OMG, dying over here. Thanks for the laughs!!
Lol! @YoMo and MoYo and here’s a typical day in YoMo/MoYo land.
“Yo, MoYo!”
“No, my love. I’m YoMo. You’re MoYo. It’s not that difficult, my love.”
“Why do I have to be MoYo? I want to be YoMo. It sounds better. It’s mine now! I have long, great hair and am the man with the money. The YoMo name is mine!”
“Mohamad, I do not like this stealing of the YoMo. It was my idea! It makes no sense you being YoMo. Damnit, you’re an azz! You have some balls stealing my name. I’m outta here!”
romo: LOL!!! TFC!! SH
Help! I’m not getting anything from this site! Nothing in 2 days
Barb: Been aware of some technical issues; however, thought they were fixed. Will notify and look into this. Thank you! TFC!! SH
Thank you so much because it’s just so frustrating.
I just went through this entire site and it was hillarious. Haven’t laughed like this all weekend and AOL didn’t crash me once.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle….those blue pants=BAD!