I’ve been told the truth will set you free. . .here it goes. I went through about nine months where I was drinking to cope with the pain and the memories. I was drinking to forget, to stop the recurring images in my head, to relax enough to try to sleep at night. I quickly discovered that one glass of wine made it a little easier, two would help me forget, three, four, you get the point.
I was self-medicating and the sad truth is that I didn’t know another way to get through the days — and nights. I was confronted with the truth that the life I thought I had was only an illusion. What I finally realized was that “pain waits for you.” I would medicate for a day and the next morning all the emotions would come flooding back — not to mention the massive headache.
Thankfully, I had an amazing support system and they helped me realize that it was time for me to feel my emotions and let the healing begin.
I know Dr. Drew. And Kim, I love ya but, Dr. Drew you are not. NOTE: Oh, Dr. Drew knows you, too, ShanaBanana!
February 2012…
NOTE: To see ALL Shana’s media appearances… see them on the masthead.
I know people who have been in “recovery” for many years. Someone very close to me has been sober for 20 years. One thing I know from talking with him over the years is that persons who are in recovery don’t point the finger at others. They focus on their own sobriety. They are there for friends who ask for their help but they don’t diagnose and offer treatment plans for others.
October 2012… Call to Australian radio station…
When I made the decision not to attend the “nose party,” I gave Kim the courtesy of a phone call. I told her the truth about what I was doing and why I wouldn’t be coming to her party. I was having fun and yes, I was “tipsy.” If I had a nickel for every time Kim “no-showed” for events with no call and then made up some silly excuse as to why she didn’t show, I could pay all my attorney fees. Kim and I don’t socialize outside the other ladies. She doesn’t spend enough time with me to be evaluating anything about my life. I care for her and am deeply happy that she is having success with her sobriety, finally.
As long as I’m putting it all on the table, I owe Yolanda an apology. When she and I met, I was in a bad place. I was in no state of mind to be making new friends. I was watching my life fall apart and looking at her perfect life wasn’t helping. I was convinced that I would never love or trust another man again and here she had two successful marriages and a beautiful family. It had nothing to do with Yolanda. My emotions were raging and I was like a snake in the corner, striking at everything. I am sorry, Yolanda.
The grieving process carries with it a myriad of emotions. One of these emotions is anger. Dealing with a grieving person who is going through anger is extremely challenging. During this time, the person has misplaced feelings of anger and envy, check. The anger comes out in different ways and is often unexpected, check. At times, the person may feel anger toward himself or herself, and other times the anger is directed toward others, check.
Shana “road raging” at Kyle… “GIMME A LIGHT”!!!!
Anger was by far the hardest stage for me because I couldn’t figure out what I was angry about or whom I was angry at, it made no sense to me. Imagine “road raging” 24 hours a day, not pretty. I have never been an angry person and during the beginning of Season 3, I was agitated and angry.
It was an awful way to feel and I know it was a dreadful experience for those around me. To compound the problem, I had begun a new prescription for my anxiety. The agitation I was feeling got so depressing that I started to research the medication and found that the number one side effect was. . .agitation, great!
So. . .I did take some of Kyle and Kim’s advice. I did three things. I decided Kyle was right and it was time to leave the house. I needed to let go of that final piece in order to move on with my life. I took Kim’s suggestion and went to the mountains for the winter. I have taken that opportunity to heal and to spend time with Kennedy enjoying the simple things. Finally, I went cold turkey off my medication. Not recommended but, I am a bit of an extremist — in case you haven’t noticed.
Surprisingly, I started to sleep, I started to love, and I didn’t need to medicate with alcohol. I want to feel everything that my new life has in store for me. I am happy and healthy. Kennedy is happy, laughing, and singing everyday. I’m coming home to Beverly Hills as a new woman with my past behind me and a new life in front of me.
Until next week! Big kiss from my big lips.
xx
Me thinks Shaft is having someone else write her blogs.
I was surprised to see Trailer Trash sit there calmly and let the has been Kim talk to her like she did.I would have told her to STFU and talk to a mirror.Kyle loves being in the center of everyone’s issue.Kim is pathetic too.Two alcoholics trying to pull each other up.Both need to go on the show.
If the whole entire conversation wasnt scripted I would say Kims heart was probaly in the right place. I know i have made many mistakes in my life but when i see others making the same I try and help even if I didnt take help when it was offered to me.
Come on, Kim is just tryin very hard to make Traylor the new addict of the show. She was thinkin of anyone but herself and she should have been concentrating on herself, she still was very vulnerable. Vyle calling her an alcoholic on national TV should have taught her better than shaming Traylor into admitting she had a pb (her admission was BS IMO. I know a whole bunch of addicts and ex addicts, this woman was not sincere at all.)
She is the new addict of the Show Taylor is a drunk
much worse then Kim was
yeah, and that trainwreck took shape right in front of our very eyes… Bravo really is devilish.
ummmmm, I think Kim was pretty much as big of a drunk than Taylor
I dontthink so Taylor is more of a Drunk IMO.
Yes, I was surprised by Shana’s calmness under fire too. Unfortunately, she must have thought about the remarks later on. OR – she was loaded when the Richards Bitches stopped by. Hence, her after-the-fact angry comments about Dim-Kim’s unrequested advice.
Lol, of course! How did I not see it? She was loaded! All her energy was used to try and appear sober! She’s intelligent or rather manipulative enough to know it would not have looked good if she had caused drama and that the only way to get out of it was to fake taking it gracefully. BS.
I think she had a heads up, and was told it was her storyline……or else……………….
I thought of that too Gessie, Im not sure she knew about the Kimtervention though! Her tone when they call her and want to come by her house : very worried. Her face when the sisters from hell get there : worried too. She knew something had to be up of course,
I mean, she’s not that stupid. believe me, if I was filming with that bunch and suddenly two of them wanna come at my place, just like that, Id be edgy too… and probably would reach for a drink!
I thought she was not drunk during this. But I thought her grifter brain quickly snapped into mode and saw it like this: all right! a nice new juicy storyline for myself! I thought at first she seemed upset but strangely accepted the whole thing. That just seems fake to me. She is always in grifter mode it’s hard to tell when she is genuine or fake.
ON WWHL, she said so herself, “Everything about me is FAKE!” There you have it – right from the horse’s mouth!
That is a load of pure, unadulterated bullshit.
Tell me about it. She proly wrote that while she was on her bender the other night squawking about death threats and FBI. And her apology to Yolonda? pffft That’s just her trying to cushion herself for the reunion-the thing that got SWINE’s nose all out of joint in the first place the other night on twitter. Dont fall for it Yolonda. I quit reading after that.
SWINE is probably watching the footage, imagining the dollar signs fading away and she apologizes in attempt to be tied to the money tree that YoFo is.
SWINE attaches herself to anyone with real money or who can acquire cash, that’s why she tried to partner up with LisaV so quickly and why SWINE has no problem going after Vyle and getting all “Oklahoma on yer ass” with Kim. No real money there.
Hopefully YoLo will see her coming a mile away. Remember SWINE and her late husband did have some sort of financial shenanigan pulling on YoLo’s ex-husband Mohamed. This is probably the real reason SWINE came into the season all stubbed up over YoLo.
No way swine wrote this and No way is she Sober today not after what i witnessed on twitter the other night that was better living through Medication and booze not the words of a sober person.
If Swine is sober I am going to be elected Pope.
Loved the way you moved on SWINE right into the bed of a married man you must be so proud. Hey swine how long will it be before you accuse him of abuse.
Traylor? Sober? Mwaaaahaaaaahaaaaaaaa!
Definitely a ghost writer.
No mention of reconciliation with Russell’s family….hmmmm. I guess isolating Kennedy from her aunts and uncles and grandparents is a major part of her healing process. Meow!
Taylor is in denial about her drinking. Coming down from the mountain a new woman? Thank goodness we will be spared her glorious transformation, seeing as she has hopefully, been fired.
shana has been a fall down pill popping drunk since day 1 of the show. and what does she mean by “the life i used to have”? a phoney baloney grifter who’s just outright jealous of anyone who has achieved success? no way can she redeem herself at this point. and she claims russell was the narcissist? preditors like her NEVER stop premeditating their next move. it’s just imbred. there is no other way she would know how to function.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand.. she is the only woman on the show who is just NOT beverly hill’s material. that rental she’s living in looks like it hasn’t been updated since 1980
Oh my God, I never thought I’d see the day but I actually totally agree with Shana on this one:
“I know people who have been in “recovery” for many years. Someone very close to me has been sober for 20 years. One thing I know from talking with him over the years is that persons who are in recovery don’t point the finger at others. They focus on their own sobriety. They are there for friends who ask for their help but they don’t diagnose and offer treatment plans for others.”
… especially not on live television.Shame on you Kim Richards, or on whoever programmed you in the undergrounds on Disneyland.
I disagree slightly. I look at Elton John, who has been sober for over 21 years. He was a cross-abuser (drugs, booze + food), and he came clean in a humbling facility that stripped him of his excessive wealth and power and made him feel like he was one of the many addicts in the facility. He has a new book out about it. It was interesting. Anyway, he has helped COUNTLESS alcoholic/drug addicts along the way (Mary J. Blige, Robert Downey Jr, etc………). I doubt he did it a la Kim, but he offered his help and support and these people have thanked him publically when their lives turned around. So, I DO think that addicts can and do help other people in trouble. It’s *how* they do it that matters, and Kim was way off base speaking to Shana the way she did. I would have slapped her.
BTW, Kyle looked like an ass in those gym-type nylon leggings + high heeled stripper booties. Moron.
I agree with you Done, I never meant addicts could not help, on the contrary, of course they can! It’s just that Kim was a bit too eager to out Shana all of a sudden, and she really should have done it quietly, OFF camera. And I still think it was way too early for her to coach or help anyone yet. She still had (has?) to help herself.
And I agree with that comment, Malaika! Kim’s too freshly sober and still navigating her sobriety. She had no right to publically admonish Shana for her addictions. Gently offering support (off camera) would have been much more appropriate, which leads me to believe that Kim hasn’t gotten the best of care with her own sobriety.
I wouldnt be to hard on Kim My guess it was Not her idea But Bravos she does have to earn her paycheck after all.
no, you can’t twelve step someone when you have that little of sobriety. She should have called her “sponsor”, which I doubt she has, and had her help with talking to shana. Her recovery in helping others is by going to meetings and sharing there.
She is only saying that becuase this person clearly doesnt point fingers at her.. for 20 years. She is a sot. And honestly she would prolly be less dangerous to Kennedy if she soaked her brain every day for the rest of her life because a sober psychopath is a dangerous one. An impaired on gives potential victims a running head start or time to duck n cover. SWINE is diabolical.
As much as i like to poke fun at Taylor, I am giving her this one.I would love to see her exit with guns blazing. Bravo has pushed this storyline all season, unfortunately Taylor has played along. I knew Bravo was being nasty with the where is Kennedy story and so did Kyle and Kim. Why did they allow it? Would Kyle like to be shown as a careless mother? All bets are off if Taylor mentions another househusband hanging. UGH
ITA Jeanbean… love your name btw
Are you serious? It was obvious the drunk Taylor did not even have her kid in her thoughts until Kyle mentioned her. Scream bad edit all you want but if a mom gets drunk off her behind every day chances are major problems will bleed into her life.
Oh and he likes Kennedy! It just had me thinking if he hated Kennedy that would be acceptable she would just have to deal with her new Kennedy problem so he’s happy.
Yep, agree on this one too!
“If I had a nickel for every time Kim “no-showed” for events with no call and then made up some silly excuse as to why she didn’t show, I could pay all my attorney fees.”
Shana/Swine is one twisted chick! Watching her in season one, it was evident she had a drinking problem. She can pretend that it wasn’t obvious, or blame Russell (RIP); she can even convince herself that Kim’s public/recorded alcohol problems made ‘Hers’ go unnoticed – it will not make Shanas alcoholism any less true!
Listening to Swine tell Dr. Drew ” I didn’t know the ‘procedure’ for removing a ‘body’” after finding Russell (RIP) was SHOCKING! I can not even begin to magine referring to a ‘loved one’ in such a steely cold manner??
Shana is seriously detached; void of all emotion when it comes to anyone BUT herself. She’s an amoral narcississt with some deep problems. Whether she was born that way, or her childhood triggered it, is a question that will never be answered. Either way, her brain wiring has a short in it.
IMO she’s a self centered, self seeking, heartless b***. It’s all about me, me, me.
Listening to her ‘dog’ Russells sister was pathetic. Sad that Russells sister had a meth addiction, but regardless “she” grew up with “her” brother; a sibling knows the true nature of a sibling. Swines six years with Russell (RIP) can NOT sum up the “true” nature of a person – like a sibling can. People change – sure – but NOT like Traylor claims!
As far as ShanaBannana’s ridiculous excuse, of her ‘supposed’ friend with 20 years sobriety saying, that a person in recovery doesn’t reach out to someone with a problem – is BS! It’s fairly common for someone in recovery to ‘reach out’ to someone who is clearly in trouble. NOT one of the other HW’s gave Kim the same ‘type’ of decency.
IMO Kim ‘reached-out’ about something that needed to be addressed! Traylor blames Russell’s (RIP) death for her drinking – What’s next? Shana blames Kim for her continued drinking?! IMO, bravo ‘nudged’ (producer-provoked) this whole thing on anyway.
Only problem with her blaming it on russell death is she was a booze hound long before that.
Exactly Lisa! That was also my point. She can’t blame Russell anymore for her current behavior – can she? What’s her excuse on her infamous Australian phone call? She was 3 sheets to the wind on that call! First she says she’s with a couple of her gay guy friends and then she goes on & on about being in ‘lurv’ LOL. Busted when the radio show gets her to admit she’s with her married, father of 3-4 kids boyfriend, wasting away again in Margaritiville down in Mexico. IMO, she was already a mess in season one! This new guy must be a real A$$!
egg: The “new guy” is also her business partner… he is NOT a “new” guy at all. He set up her NuSport and her “foundation” all based in Nevada. Just enter “NuSport” in the SH search bar. He is also the guy who was screaming at the exes during their phone conversation with Shana over a year ago. TFC!! SH
Ms SH isnt this “guy” the same one who traveled with her a YR ago on her flop of a book tour and carried her out of various resturants hammered. If so he isnt New at all is he.
lisa: Same guy. TFC!! SH
The same person that wife defended him when the rumors started. She was telling the press that Swine was a family friend that needed help and that her husband being the wonderful human that she thought he was, was coming to her aid. I can’t fathom anyone knowing a man’s wife and children could screw her husband for a free lawyer and a place to live. I the end we all anwser for what we do.
She could have been in the dark at that point
and was just being the good wife, im sure her eyes were open pretty fast at some point.
I normally dont go for the I hope she bleds him dry but in this case I hope she does, I hope he is left with enough money to rent a studio apartment in some basement, Se how fast SWINE sticks around then.
Who else would want to lay down with SWINE? It’s not as if suitors are beating a path to her door.
I thought Taylor had no choice to leave her house that she was renting because the owner decided to sell it, causing her to leave. And, how could Taylor be such great friends with David’s ex and he had no idea who Taylor was?
I find it surprising Taylor didn’t go to Paris. Did the courts or FBI take her U.S. Passport away to limit her travel?
ooooh never thought about that sandra. she could very well be a flight risk
She couldn’t afford the trip anyway
And given the “Kimtervention”, I think Shashana was all too happy to let them go, and be free to do all the drinking and canoodling with her married lova without anyone inviting her to a tea or white party and watching her every move, or shall i say every sip… In Paris, she knew she wouldnt be able to drink as she wanted to in front of the girls now that is was in the open (unless the editing is misleading of course)
Hard to believe someone would give up a paid trip to France, but then again, most of us do not live in Traylor-Trash land.
Sandra: Shana was not scheduled to go to Paris… therefore, she did not “give up” anything. It was Bravo’s decision. TFC!! SH
Thank you Ms. SH. In reality, I would have been mortified to see Shana go to Paris and act like a loud, drunken fool.
This reminds me of Kelly from RWONY. Bravo decided she was too unstable and made her leave the island.
Perhaps Bravo felt Taylor was too unstable for an international flight (e.g.how she would behave on the flight, possible major breakdown in Paris) so this time they foresaw problems and intervened.
If you have ever been addicted to anything Sandra (if not, good for you!) you would understand an addict would give up ANY trip ANYWHERE in the world if it buys him/her some tranquillity and some space to indulge in whatever they want
the difference between shana and kim is “decency” i really don’t think kim has a calculating angry bone in her body. kim seemed like she was coming from a place of kindness. kim worked pretty hard as a lucrative actress supporting her family.shana on the other hand has devoted her life to name changing scamming and scheming. shana is just a big fat lipped Z row! shana’s never going to “get it” and kim needs to stay clear of her toxicity.
I wouldn’t be too sure about that…Kim seems to have the “mean girl” thing going on too, she’s displayed it on several occasions (game night with Brandy, stirring the pot at Maurice’s party, some interactions with her sister sometimes…) I don’t think you can make it alive in this industry , esp a child star, without ever bein “mean”.
What we have within Traylot-Park’s meandering musings, are excuses, excuses, excuses (& one mea culpa to Yolanda). Shana is so full of it, I can’t take any part of her “explanation” seriously.
Yup, she writes like a true alcoholic! Classic behavior 2 be sure.
I found Shana’s excuse for not liking Yolanda a buncha bull crap! She said: (I put caps on the words that really stood out to me and says it all)
I was watching my life fall apart and looking at HER PERFECT LIFE wasn’t helping. I was convinced that I would never love or trust another man again and here SHE HAD TWO SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES AND A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. It had nothing to do with Yolanda. My emotions were raging and I was like a snake in the corner, striking at everything. I am sorry, Yolanda.
BINGO! It had everything to do with Yolanda. Shana was full of jealousy, pure and simple. This was the life she was pretending to have, only Yolanda’s is FOR REAL.
Her “emotions were raging” alright!
And, sorry, but how could Yolanda have had “two successful marriages” when one ended in divorce? I certainly don’t consider my first marriage to be “successful”. I failed. He failed. The marriage failed. Even though our relationship lasted for 30 years and many of those years were happy, it ended in failure. What does Shana mean by this??????????
Maybe SWINE is measuring “success” in the wealth of the husband. Yolanda married Mohamhead and while the marriage didn’t last, she was certainly well compensated for the failure of the marriage and Yolanda’s second husband also has a healthy bank account. So, in SWINE’s world, marrying a rich man=successful marriage.
Yuck!!!!!!!!! You’re probably right!!
It’s all about the bottom line, innit?
To Shana, apparently it is. If you have $$ or a plane or an income, you’re “successful”. Everyone who watches these shows should really see, “The Jonses” with Demi Moore. It explains their life so well!
If having money made for a sucessfull marriage and happy children I would have one of the best. I’m divorced so what does that say. One of my favorite stories about my Mother was when she attended a cousins wedding. One of the other guests commented on how unattractive the bride was. My mother responded that if good looks made for a good marriage you would think we would have had better ones.
It would seem that Yolanda’s “two successful marriages” stand. Although she and Mohammed split, they remained (or became) good friends and enjoy a pleasant divorce. I guess by BH standards, a happy divorce equals a happy marriage…
Well then I’ve had two “succcessful” marriages also. That’s insane though!! I have to add that my current husband and my ex are as friendly as David and Mohamed (which is still weird in my world!!), but it’s wonderful for our children.
Yes, Traylor-Park’s real reason for not liking Yolanda was based purely on jealousy. Yolanda has a serene life full of love. She is also very honest in her dealings with the other women. Grifter Shana doesn’t operate that way. She only knows how to manipulate and lie to mislead the others. She’s despicable; whereas Yolanda is unburdened with excess baggage of lies upon lies…
Well, Yolanda did get a pretty sweet deal out of her last marriage… Traylor is right to envy her that, amongst other things she will never have, like class or functioning brain cells.
LOL. I completely agree with you. Traylor-Park is the biggest loser on all fronts.
yes, it really is too bad that a little girl is caught up in the middle of this s***t. I wish her the best but I am very worried about her mental well being. i hope she’s at least seeing a good child psychologist. Unless they are “handlers” too, then she’s f****d. (sorry, been obsessed with MK programming and all that jazz lately, becoming a bit paranoid!!!) Best of luck to little Kennedy (naming your daughtee after that tragedy-filled family yay, Traylor, it’s so classy, right? What would you have named the next one, Onassis? Lennon? Sharon Tate? )
I thought the same thing when I first heard that name. It’s very prophetic, in a way, right? Traylor-Park’s next child might be named, “Sharon Lennon” or “Lincoln-Tate”.
Traylor is so full of sheetz it’s coming out of her ears instead of her rear!! Someone seems to be coaching her along as she didn’t write this all by herself. If in fact you are recovering then good luck. I have no more to say.
Oh Barb!!! Bwa ha ha…out of her ears, and nose and mouth. Bet that new married boyfriend will smell all of that real soon too.
That will be only after Shana picks his pockets…
Oh how can anyone defend this woman. Her book on abuse was bs full of lies and she had her kid at book signings just weeks after he hung himself.
Currently she is drunk on nearly every episode making a fool out of herself. She is a man stealer flaunting this relationship on national tv.
And I don’t care what Lisa says it was clear she did not know where her daughter was and was not even thinking of her until Kyle brought her daughter up.
Bravo bad edit? That’s the tired excuse of reality “stars” who don’t like how they come off on screen.
She lies all the time. She had to lesve her house because the owners sold it. It was a rental.
Traylor-Park IS a rental, too. She makes street walkers look respectable.