REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP
Season Three, Episode Fourteen… “White Party Pooper”
by Sandi Duffy
Kim is having a party to reveal her new nose. I’m glad Brandi didn’t have a party to reveal her new vagina.
Trailor calls to announce that within the last 48 hours she has fallen in love. Trailor had no idea Kyle had Kennedy and I think I’m going to be sick. It’s one thing when these women act like idiots. It’s another when they drag their underage children into it. And when Kim is calling you out on being drunk, you have a serious freakin’ problem.
Marisa calls out that Trailor is always leaving Kennedy with Kyle. Trailor is disgusting. She not even fun disgusting in the way that Kenya Moore is. She is disgusting in a way that makes me sick to my stomach.
Kim’s doctor comes to the party to take the bandages off her nose. The morally corrupt Faye Resnick is there. She barely says anything, but I don’t like her and take advantage of any opportunity to call her morally corrupt.
Adrienne can’t get over that Kim didn’t use her husband. I wonder if she’s as pissed about that as she was at Lisa for not going to The Palms last season.
Next, Adrienne and her family are playing in the pool and they see helicopters and smoke coming from the house across the street. Adrienne freaks out and insists on leaving the house. There is a football field between their homes and the firemen would have evacuated them if they were in any danger. Adrienne is pissed that Paul didn’t leave with them, and I can’t believe Adrienne freaked out like that.
We are back to Kyle’s stupid white party. Who the hell can eat dressed all in white? Unless they are serving potatoes and rice, I wouldn’t be able to eat all night. Kyle is looking so attractive running around yelling at people in her mumu.
Little Portia is really cute, but I can’t help but worry that Kyle is going to pull a Big Kathy and subject Portia to the wonderful world of being a child actor.
When did Faye become the “we” in the White Party. I thought this party was thrown by Kyle and Maurice, not Faye and Kyle.
Marissa’s hair is a hot mess at the party. What is going on with it? She needs a good dye job.
Brandi brought two friends this year as support.
Kyle doesn’t disappoint. She’s yet again, wearing a dress that is three sizes too small for her.
What kind of cheap ass self-tanner does Adrienne use that rubs off all over Lisa’s white chairs? I have never used a spray tan, but I thought if you went to one of those professional places, the stuff doesn’t rub off so easily
Trailor Trash is arriving, sans the man she took off with on an airplane and left her daughter with Kyle. As she explains this to Kim, Kim looks at her like she has 10 heads. When Kim is looking at you like you are nuts, it’s time to re-examine your life choices.
Brandi is very anxious about seeing Paul. She wants to talk to Adrienne alone. And apparently Kyle’s party is just the place to do it? Brandi sends her other friend, whose name I didn’t catch, to ask Adrienne to talk to Brandi. Paul goes, too. Why are they doing this at the party?
Adrienne finally admits to the infamous letter. Why doesn’t anyone have a problem with Kyle who actually started the whole mess? Kyle stirs the pot and comes out squeaky clean. Brandi comes with proof that Bernie is selling stories to ROL. Paul honestly seems shocked by this proof; Adrienne, not so much.
Adrienne claims everyone talks to their lawyer. No, they don’t, Adrienne. I have an estate lawyer. I haven’t talked to him in three years. Unless I need to make any changes to my will or POA, I will not talk to him. Oh, wait, I’m refinancing my home, so I’ll be talking to my real estate attorney for the first time in 8 years.
Paul is still pissed about the “Maloof Hoof” comment and Ken says it made her shoes. LOL! Ken is hilarious. Trailor still compares her getting kicked out last year because of a letter, but Adrienne and Paul didn’t’ get kicked out. That’s because Trailor will never be able to buy a house from Maurice. Ken totally sticks up for Brandi and Paul tries to make more out of it.
I think I’d rather watch the a party revolving around Brandi’s new vagina than watch another season of Kyle’s White Party.
On the next RHOBH…