REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP
Season Five, Episode Fifteen… “Praise The Pageant”
by Sandi Duffy
Before I start recapping Atlanta, I need to go off an a tangent. I’ve tried to hold back week after week, but this has been boiling up inside of me and I need to get it out. I am disgusted with Bravo and Andy Cohen’s stereotypical, over-the-top portrayal of gay men.
I count a number of gay men in my circle of friends and let me describe what they are NOT like! They do not wear make-up, high heels, call themselves by female names, chase anything with a pulse, shun commitment, love show tunes, have over-the-top commitment ceremonies where everyone wears hats, swish, and any of the other disgusting stereotypes that have been portrayed on Bravo.
Now, let me describe what my gay friends are like. They are all in long term committed relationships. One couple has two adopted children. Another are the best cooks I have ever had the pleasure to eat with and enjoy their food. One is an amazing artist and I have quite a bit of his artwork in my home. One couple is a regular at my Superbowl party every year and, wait for it, THEY WATCH AND ENJOY THE SUPERBOWL. I would ask none of them for fashion advice because like all the other men I know they are all clueless about women’s fashion. None of them watch Bravo (are you reading this Cohen?), and if they did, I think they would be highly offended at the way gay men are being portrayed on this network. OK, I feel much better now.
We open with Cynthia’s Miss Renaissance Pageant. Kenya stops over to bring a young girl over to Cynthia’s agency who wants to be a model and join the pageant. Kenya is mentoring her. So a batshit crazy nutbjob is sending this girl to Cynthia’s low rent “modeling school” to become a model. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Oh, and Kenya offers to help and be a judge a the pageant…and Cynthia accepts the offer. Whatever. I can’t even comment on this insanity or how two-faced Cynthia is.
Next we have Porsha meeting her husband for dinner. Porsha wants to have a baby, but doesn’t want to put her “career” on hold. I can’t type because I’m laughing hysterically. What career exactly is that? Capitalizing on her grandfather’s good name? I mean don’t get me wrong, Kordell seems like a controlling a–hole, but really, Porsha has or had a career?
Now we have the adorable Chef Roble at Phaedra’s house with the hot Apollo and Kandi’s cute fiance. It’s a plethora of attractive men on Atlanta tonight. There’s going to be a girls trip to Vegas. I’m with Kandi, it’s my favorite place, too, but I have a feeling these women are going to ruin it for me. I may have to skip that episode.
All the sexual talk over the food is making me uncomfortable. I don’t consider myself a prude, but really.
Kandi is in the studio recording her gospel song. I’m bored. I’m fast forwarding through this part. If I missed anything important, tell me in the comments.
Ok, I missed the part where we meet Kandi’s father for the first time. Still not interesting.
Nene is back in Atlanta and her other lap dog, Cynthia, comes to visit. Cynthia fills in Nene on everything that is going on. Cynthia acts like she owes Nene an explanation for why she has Kenya as a judge at her pageant. More talk of the girls trip and we all know that’s going to be a huge disaster.
Porsha is out once again torturing her baby niece to prove she can be a mother. First thing Porsha does is feed her Twizzlers. I give her points for changing the kid’s diaper, though. Kids that age really are freakin’ exhausting. I don’t miss those days for anything. Porsha needs gates in her home. Those gates are a lifesaver.
We’re back in the recording studio with Kandi and I’m fast forwarding again.
The moment I’ve been waiting for finally arrives, the beauty pageant. You just know this is going to be a hot mess because Cynthia is an idiot.
Her emcee looks like he’s going for a picnic on the beach rather than hosting a beauty pageant. Cynthia is in a gown and her emcee is in casualware.
Kenya is wearing her Miss USA sash and since she won that title so long ago, I can’t believe it doesn’t have moth holes in it.
Cynthia’s microphone isn’t working. Like I said, hot mess.
Let the exploitation of young girls begin!
The girls are listed out of order on the script. They are giving wrong names as the girls come out on stage. And these people paid $500 for this.
Porsha brings her niece and can’t handle her by herself, so she brings a friend.
Cynthia calls an intermission and forgets about half the pageant girls still waiting to be introduced. This pageant is painful to watch. Where is Honey Boo Boo and her go go juice when you need her.
Kenya is actually really nice and encouraging to Cynthia even though she is well aware this pageant is a hot mess. Points to Kenya and you probably will never hear that from me again.
The pageant is over and the votes are being tallied…and tallied…and tallied. Well, it’s not like we are all waiting on the edge of our seats to find out who wins.
The girl who wins acts like she just won the Nobel Peace Prize rather than have just paid $500 for this clusterf*ck of a pageant.
At least we didn’t have to hear Porsha sing.
Next RHOA…
Looks like someone shares my thoughts the gay men that constantly appear on Bravo. Look, I’m neutral when it comes to all things regarding gay rights’ stuff, but it’s freaking annoying that every single gay man that appears in every Bravo show is some over the top stereotype. Where are the real gay people? The ones that don’t wear heels everyday and act over the top because they want the attention- you know, the ones that AREN’T stupid stereotypes.
NEWSFLASH TO ANDY COHEN: HIRING STEREOTYPES FOR YOUR REALITY SHOWS IS NOT HELPING THE GAY RIGHTS CAUSE. IT’S ONLY MAKING IT WORSE.
I’m sorry, but every character on this show is a stereotype beginning with the most popular character Nene Leakes, on down the line to Cynthia who epitomizes a model that can do little more than look pretty, so why should we expect that the gay male character’s would be any less stereotypical?
I’m not just talking about THIS show, I’m talking about every single Bravo show. The entire network does nothing but perpetuate a stereotype of gay men that is insulting. And Thatotherchick is right. Portraying nothing but the most outrageous stereotypes of gay men does nothing to help with gay rights issues.
ITA. I was the witness for the marriage of two gay friends and after signing the documents, we celebrated with beer, buffalo wings, and cigars. Bravo makes homosexuals look like a bunch of tooty frooties. It is no wonder that ignorant folks actually believe that is how gay men look/behave.
Bravo’s portrayal of gay men perpetuates the promicuous queen stereotype. Jeff Lewis is cool and will put Andy in his place. My gay friends include a master carpenter, local republican party chair, nurses, an avid outdoorsmen, electrician and yes, an antiques dealer and floral designer.
Love me some Jeff Lewis! I always tune in when he’s on WWHL cuz I love watching him give MissAndy verbal “wedgies” at every opportunity.
The post tonight is right on the money. I couldn’t agree more with everything said. I too have a few gay friends. They are wonderful men and actually, some of the best girlfriends I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. They are down to earth loyal friends and genuinely good hearted people. Andy and the trash gays he brings in are an insult to my friends. Cynthia IS a complete idiot and over the top arrogant…never could stand the woman. I despise Kenya no matter what she does or says. The woman is a psycho freak. If she ever marries and has children, I feel sorry for them. I really like Kandi, but the recording studio has gotten really old and gospel music bores me spitless. Actually RHOA, just has nothing to offer anymore and I wish Bravo would just pull it. It’s become painful to watch.
Great recap, Sandi! Somehow your write up was more interesting than the actual episode. While I feel that rhoa has been boring…its better than seeing families being torn apart. I’ve been catching up with rh gossip and seeing all the nonsense on Twitter and I am shocked at how much stock people put in these ‘reality’ shows.
Porsha has a selective memory about events as if she is always the target of attacks and the epitome of grace and class. She has no problem dishing out the nasties, stabbing people with a metaphorical knife and twisting it. In the past I have laughed at her, but now she is annoying. I don’t know if I can watch another episode where her moron memory remains selective.
Great recap. Was bored with the show tonight. I do think that Miss Kenya musta pawned her crown cause if ole girl could lay her hands on it you KNOW she would be wearing it. And the gates… my thoughts exactly. I suspect Porsha already has them for that lil dog but production made her put them up for filming and they also must have made her set the barefooted child down to walk over the pebbles to get into the house.
The pagent winner “celebration” was crazy. Ole Cy musta been crapping his pants witnessing that display of unrefinement(prolly not a real word but this occasion calls or new word)
P.s. Sorry Kenya but none of these ladies ever went on to be a President of the United States ya jackwagon. Thanks for playing.
I thought it was odd that Kenya wasn’t wearing her crown too. She brought up not wearing, didn’t she? She wasn’t asked where it was. Lol, she pawned it for some $1,000 shoes.
Thats what I was thinking. Surprised she didnt put her own engagement ring on layaway with the proceeds.
I can’t stand the ATL franchise. I don’t know why I still watch it. Porsha is an idiot. Why is she watching a child? I thought that poor girl was going to fall off the bed. Also, that pageant was a hot mess.
The crown was way to big for a pageant.Cynthia in some of her closeups looks like she had moved her natural eyebrow up.You can see where her real eyebrow used to be under all that makeup.
You can be gay and blend with everyone else.The high heels/painted finger nails and lipstick is too much.That kind of gay would not work where I live.Too over the top.Andy hisself should dress like that if he is so in love with a flamboyant gay dresser.
Porshaism of the night:
maneuver a baby.
I just love her mangling of the English language. Really cracks me up, and she tries real hard to use a big word and transposes it with another…priceless. I like her for some weird reason.
She cracks me up too. And for all we know she is doing that on porpoise.
She might be a dadburn genie-ous. She plays it well.
Not as bad as when she said she was “perTURD” last week…
The other day my youngin said “Hey I’m just a observafizer here” Meaning he was just a person that was observing.
Hate to hear old ass Kordell “growl” when he speaks.Porsha is just so stupid and her words make you think you are losing your mind.I hated to see her pull that baby girl up the steps by her arm.I dont like to see kids handled that way.Could cause some injury.
RIP Mindy McCready
Oh dear. I didn’t know about this so I googled. She was a troubled one… I always loved that song.
This woman never seemed happy, and I feel for her family. Her fiance/husband/boyfriend committed suicide not long ago. His family was pushing further investigation because of the “suspicious” situation. I hope both families find peace soon.
Yes, I had no idea that David Wilson’s death was ruled suspect. I just read that she chose to end her life after being accused of killing him. Also sad because her father had been staying with her and just left a day earlier.
That song is so true in relationships.Being taken for granted is hard to live with.Beautiful voice may she RIP.Her demons got the best of her.Thank God she did not kill her 2 boys too.
My brother was gay and he only dressed this way when he went to work because he job was at a gay/transsexual night club. However he loved his art and interior decorating and loved his football and baseball. Andy does them no justice and it makes me sick. My brother died of aids back in the 80s when we as a nation didnt know what it was and he suffered great ridicule. I enjoy the company of gay men and lesbian couples. They are no different than you or I and its because of Andy it still makes gay individuals to be considered clowns. As fot ATL its boring. I didnt watch tonight because frankly Cythia is such a two faced person and I didnt want to watch the train wreck.
Mindy was a troubled soul. R.I.P. About the show, does Porsha have to let her mouth hang like Bubba from Forest Gump while she thinks? Its cartoonish like she has a thought bubble attached to her head. Porsha should really work on not letting her mouth hang open so much,she might swallow a gnat. Having a wide mouth is probably how she got Kordell, lawd know it couldnt have been for her brains. Always letting her mouth hang wide open just adds to the stupid image and its not cute on anyone over 15. IDK why she thinks anyone would envy that relationship. The girl cant even order a sprite without Kordell barking “she’ll have wine”, and Porsha didnt even blink, like that type of behavior is normal. I was done with the show at that point. I understand that its her marriage and thats cool. Whats not cool is putting it on TV like its normal or ok to be treated like that. Its not. With a 50% divorce rate and even higher never wed rate in some communities, it shouldnt be encouraged for women to be so dependant on a male for their basic survival. I fwd through the rest of the show, however, I did watch the scene with the eye candy Roble and Apollo. This season is turning out to be a patchwork of lifeless scenes stitched together to make one uninteresting show. Watching people live the “glamorus life” on TV has lost its appeal for me. This is probably the end of these Housewives shows.
I gotta agree with you have a seat. I did not watch the show and do not intend to.Either their acting has gotton worse or I am just so over it. Even their relationships with their relationships with their spouses seem fake and forced.
Cyn, the most two faced housewife ever, is having an identity crisis without Nene. She’s morphed into a sleek-haired prep, which is a step up IMO. I hope Kenya’s remark that Cyn looks different everytime she sees was loaded. Honey Boo Boo couldn’t have saved this mess of a pageant. Bailey Agency my eye.
Yeah Ive been noticing Cynthias clothing choices lately, too. Like the Golf episode..she dressed like a 1940s caddie. And I think it can be cute, but its just odd..all of a sudden. Makes me wonder if we have a new Housewife clothing line to look forward to? Isnt clothing design what “fashion schools” usually do?
Cynthia is sooo boring. Other than being a 2-faced witch 24/7, she is ignorant and lazy. What a clusterF that mess was. Had it not been for the contestants, the whole thing would have fallen apart. Cynthis is NO business woman. She is so “entitled” cause she was a model? She can’t think for herself in any thing. She has such poor language skills. I want to see her without her weaves/wigs/make-up cause she ain’t all that anymore. She is an ugly person on the inside and so desperate for $$$ it makes me sick. She did a pagent purely for the money – NOT to empower young women. She is as funky as her ghetto husband. Please go away.
Exactly she’s not fabAlous as she proclaims.She’s bitter that all the other women have more and men that treat them better than ol shady Pete treats her.She went on about not getting married to an abusive man like Mom, then she marries low Down, mean mouthed Peter.
I totally agree. Cynthia flips flops throughout the entire show. I think purposely tries to be messy to get camera time.
I think the show could do without her.
I have to say I like the way Porsha handled the whole pageant rejection storyline. I wonder if it was a big let down to Ms Mandy. Think of all the possible drama it could have caused. Porsha could have shown up and caused a real ruckus like Kenya did at the last function. I wonder if P just signed her Bravo walking papers.
Love the Honey Boo Boo comment Tallulah!!! And yes, what everyone else says: Cynthia is the last person I’d ever want as a friend! Two faced, mean spirited, and I believe it boils down to lack of self confidence. She has none and its apparent in her actions. But I do suppose its explainable, her husband “THINKS” he has it all, but yet he is the biggest loser and that ain’t weight loss either…….. Just saying
This whole show (frankly the whole franchise) has become so boring! I have switched over to “written” shows like Necessary Roughness, Deception and Blue Bloods. Spend the time before 10PM doing things productive for me and my family. Sadly I only watched because I found the characters morally bankrupt, selfish, ego maniacal, rich and they lived in fabulous homes. I certainly don’t want any of their characters flaws (I have my own, thank you!) and now I don’t even want to be rich, just happy. Aha that’s the one thing I don’t see on these shows anyone happy (except maybe Lisa Vanderpump). Adios Real Housewives, signed a real housewife, a working Mom with a wonderful family, great (and true) friends and a wonderful life. Thanks for reminding me.
Very well put Kelly. It is hard to even snark at these shows anymore. But the comments on this blog really give me a laugh, and for that I thank you all!
I am a huge fan of The Atlanta and Beverly Hills shows. However, I do think that Nene Leakes should jump ship to Beverly Hills now that she is working in Hollywood.
She would make quick work of the likes of SWINE. Bloop.
Nene wants it, Bravo does not and frankly neither do I. Then again, I am not a Nene Leakes fan.
However, don’t you think it would make for good tv. I’m not sure how the BH ladies ratings are, but i’m sure that would boost them even more.
I would love to see it!
I have always thought they needed to rotate the Big Momma Divas of each franchise to see if they kept their titles with the fresh batch of ladies. OR or or what about having a HW all stars special? NeNe and Kim, Tree and Don, Ramona and SonJa, Lisa and Kyle, Vicky and Tamera. Put em on a carnival cruise ship from hell and let the games begin. Who would emerge victorious? Who would get the bigger cabin? Who would blow da captain? Who would get the first life boat?
I think Lisa and Kim would bow out, while the other’s would participate and enjoy every moment.
I would definitely watch!
I didn’t watch Atlanta last season because I could no longer stomach the caricature that is Nene Leakes, and would stop watching Beverly Hills if she were added to the cast.
She is good friends with Kyle, so perhaps she will suggest Nene as her latest ally? Gross.
Lam: Sorry… no petitions! TFC!! SH
Reblogged this on Bag Lady Boutique.
I am now disgusted with the adorable Roble. He twittered that BL water was good. What is wrong with his palate? I have tried a sample and it was disgusting IMO. I didn’t hear any positive comments from others at the tasting. There was yuck, awful or silence.
If Roble is on that bandwagon he will be talking about TG next!