So last week I took some flak for my comments about Yolanda. Let me clarify. . .I was simply having fun with Yolanda’s persona. . .without malice or mean spirit. While I don’t know her well, what I do see is a wonderful woman who adores her children and husband and lives an immaculate lifestyle. If Saturday Night Live did a Stepford skit on how perfect her life is, it would be funny and perhaps might even include a tipsy Housewife spilling wine on her white pants. Nobody would think twice about it, and haters wouldn’t be emerging from the woodwork to accuse Lorne Michaels of being bitter and jealous of Yolanda’s life. The point here is that everything I say (or write) should be taken with a giant salt lick. . .not too seriously and not too literally. Hopefully over time you will learn to know me better and understand my personality. NOTE: Really? Were people REALLY givin’ Marisa grief over her very obvious harmless words re YoFo???
With that being said, let’s enjoy this week’s episode. . .
A gremlin causes Kyle’s auxiliary wardrobe rack to collapse, which Mauricio finds quite amusing, but he’s also unsympathetic to her plight and tells her to get rid of the excess apparel.
I can relate; Dean would tell me the exact same thing. Mauricio, looking good in purple, primps one last time before his deep concern sets in over Kyle’s anxiety brought on by tension with Lisa. Kyle aims to fix this and Maseratis over to Villa Rosa. . .
After pleasantries are exchanged, Lisa and Kyle talk in circles as they attempt to make amends and find a way to broker peace amongst all the feuding women. Their meeting concludes with a tepid truce. . .I’m not buying that it will last. For what it’s worth, I understand Lisa’s being miffed at Kyle not defending her, but at the same time, Lisa is strong enough to fight her battles on her own. . .
At the equestrian center with Brandi and Yolanda, we learn that Yolanda can only afford one horse for her daughter to train with when all the other kids in the neighborhood have two or three! I was wrong about Yolanda’s life — it’s not perfect. Brandi makes me laugh (or cackle like a hyena as Dean would put it) when she says she would “implode” if she signed the gag order from Adrienne. . .I like this woman and agree with Yolanda that Brandi has done all she can to diffuse the situation. Yolanda then tees off on Adrienne unmercifully. . .and a billion people in China are also wondering, “Who in this world is Adrienne Maloof?”
Off to Lisa’s lovely tea party where Brandi is first to arrive. Ken drops a wicked line about all women being the same size when lying down in bed. . .which may in fact be true, but the same thing cannot be said about men.
Brandi becomes a little nervous and excited at the sight of Peter/Jax, the beefcakes from SUR hired by Lisa to work the event. Taylor arrives next with a present for Lisa, a vibrator, always an appropriate gift for a ladies’ tea. After Brandi takes Taylor on a tour, I arrive and it’s time for me to be misinterpreted. . .again.
It begins when Brandi brings up my “nice husband” (which she has a penchant for doing) and Taylor tries to put words in my mouth about Dean which I’ve never said. . . I respond to that effect but add in jest that it would be nice to have “a change” after having sex with the same person for 16 years. . .and meanwhile, Jax of Peter/Jax just stares off into space. Saying what I said doesn’t mean that I’m doing it. . .it just means that I said it. I call bullshit on any man or women in a long term relationship who say they haven’t thought (at least once) of making whoopee with someone new.
Adrienne, Kyle, Faye and Camille turn up and we’re almost ready for tea with the ladies! Unfortunately, Kim calls to bow out after taking a vicious canine uppercut to her surgically repaired schnozz. We all take our seats and, to no one’s surprise, Lisa has out done herself. . .the arrangements look beautiful and there’s a gift for each of us on our chair. I’m really loving Mrs. Vanderpump!
OOPS!! Someone forgot to iron the tablecloth!!!
As Lisa sits at the head of the table and extends an olive branch to all the women I can’t help but think how similar their situation is to the conflict in the Middle East. . .maybe, just maybe, there will be progress. Of course not.
Not before long, the conversation shifts from Taylor’s gymnastics (emphasis on “ass”) to lies and lawsuits. Despite Lisa’s sidebar to keep the afternoon civil, the rabble-rousing Taylor brings up the infamous “letter” from Adrienne to Brandi. . . and here we go, yet again.
I could almost hear the late Rodney King saying, “Can’t we all get along?” Neither Adrienne nor Brandi gives any ground on this subject, each repeatedly denying the other’s accusations.
Twitter and a chef named Bernie get a few nice shout outs but nothing is resolved, and Brandi abruptly leaves ending the festivities. Having not been privy to all the particulars of this tiff, it’s difficult for me to cast judgment. . .but if I had a gun to my head and had to, I’d say Adrienne was being less than truthful.
Until next week. . .
xx
Marisa
She seriously used the term whoopee. Wow
Wait, I’m still stuck on Shana’s phone call “wait, you have Kennedy with you?” WTF?
I know! How long has Kennedy been at Kyle’s? Just curious how much time went by that she wasn’t in Traylor park’s care that she didn’t even miss her own child or was aware of where Kennedy was! How did Kennedy even get to Kyle’s house? Did she drive her Barbie Corvette? In any case, it’s a damn good thing Kennedy is at Kyle’s! However she got there… maybe she rode her bike while carrying her lil Louis Vuitton.
I was shocked at that, too….but then when I watched again, I see Kyle and Kim, the evil plotting sisters, and the way they are both listening so hard on the phone,,,,,,then I have to wonder if there was more to the story. Kyle’s clearly wanting Fayke on the show, she’s very scared Trailor will spill her beans about the meeting, and I can totally see them setting Trailor up on Kennedy. I will wait and hear what Trailor has to say in her next blog before I decide if she’s that careless, or if the ‘sisters’ are up to tricks they like to play. I also wonder about Kim steering clear of the events with the others, I think Kyle gives Kim orders not to show up because she knows Kim is not ‘sober’ and she, too, is likely to spill the beans. I don’t know why Kim or Addie draw a check, neither one ever film and most of the time, Kim doesn’t even blog. Both are a waste of money.
I agree, Holleycow, as much as I despise Traylor, I’ll wait for more info before sentencing her, the whole thing looks shady…
In trying to become more familiar with Twitter I saw the fight between Marisa and YoFo.. it was actually pretty ugly. Add to that the fans from both sides who have the NASTIEST things to say about these women and their faces, their personalities, their mannerisms… Twitter is not a pretty place. Now that I think about it, I have to wonder why I’d bother trying to become more familiar with Twitter…. It seems like it can be a very informative but dangerous tool. I can’t imagine saying some of the things to these people that others say. Fans are far too invested….
I read some of their twitter feud, too. I have a hard time understanding what’s going on with it, too. I was trying to see what they were all tweeting last night, and I noticed that there was one from Kyle claiming that Faye was invited to the tea, and that Faye was not the type to go to an event without being invited…….wonder if Camille invited her to her dinner in the first season? Then I went to Lisa’s twitter where she says she did not invite Faye, and wouldn’t invite Faye to anything. I believe Lisa,,,,,I think Kyle is lying like a dog because she knows she’s gonna catch all heck for bringing Faye knowing how the viewers are not buying her bs this season.
Yep, either Vyle invited Rancid or it was another Bravo induced invite ala Kim G (RHONJ) – remember when she said she was invited by Bravo (and so was Danielle) but both of them declined? I’d say that could be possible….
All these people with their twitters make me laugh. Speak to the person in person instead of letting the world know your business. I guess talking to someone has gone by the wayside. What a sad world this has become. JMO.
Wait…Rodney King is dead?
Sandi: LOL!!!! TFC!! SH
I think MOritzeeo should stop wearing FrontPorcha’s shirts. That’s just wrong on so many levels.
Did anyone besides me think the scene with Kyle and Marci was totally fake? I think they are setting up little scenes trying to convince Bravo to do a spin off of her little family. Marci laughing like a fool, but I thought it was just silly. Why didn’t HE help her with it, instead of standing there laughing like an idiot? These two are so fake, I can’t stand either one of them. Kyle’s constant tears to change the subject and to portray herself as a caring person makes me wanna puke, too. I bet she’s been doing those fake tears all of her life to get her way.
Omg holey, there better not ever be a spin off about Kyle and MOritzeeeeo! They’re fake and annoying goons.
LOL Romo, totally agree! Im sure he carefully chose this outfit for filming… Oh, sorry, Kyle chooses the outfits, can you picture her not getting involved? ! Is that purple mistake another magnificent piece from her little clothes boutique of horrors?
I don’t think Yolanda was making a production that Marissa spilled wine. I think it was because Marissa was being so loud and making somewhat of a scene.
Marissa is funny and charming and I get her…however, I still don’t like women like her as a wife. She does not get that men thrive when their woman sometimes act like they need them, and think they are sexy. Marissa seems like she does not get this at all. She seems like she ONLY wants to be strong, independent, and not hassled with anything about being a wife. Someone like her should not get married and just have a guy on the side. She can have him when she wants and discard him when she doesn’t. Men are so simple. They do want a strong woman, but they also want to have a woman that can be cozy and cuddly, say nice things about them, be supportive of their choices (no…not all choices). But geeze Marissa seems like she has no idea what it takes to be a wife or make a man happy – at least some of the time. You don’t have to be a gushing ridiculous stepford wife, but she doesn’t get it at all it seems.
Nancy I think you sum men up perfectly. They are simple creatures. Add sex to the above and a good meal they are happy.
If that is the way Marisa talks about him all during their marriage, I don’t know how she has managed to hang onto to him, he’s a good looking man. I’ve never known a man who would not be hurt and upset by things like she says. If she keeps that up, I don’t see that marriage lasting very much longer.
and her actions…when she talked about sexy – she said it is sexy to be a strong independent woman that doesn’t need anyone…hello! sometimes men like to be needed.
and there is nothign wrong with putting on the sexy for your man…that is if you want him to not have affairs on you.
yes…she acts like it is all one way or the other. She has the perfect recipe of marriage for a very “unhappy” husband who will never truly feel the total embrace, and warmth of a woman that adores him. We all deserve that.
Come on, how can you judge her marriage based on so little? I agree that Marisa is not being very subtle, but we don’t live with them (at least I don’t!) Who knows how that relationship functions? maybe those things she said he has heard many times, that’s why it’s not a pb for her to say them in public. They(ve been together for 16 years! That’s a lifetime. If he’s fine with it, so should we. (and Im not saying I condone her behavior. Im just saying we don’t have enough information about them as a couple!)
Maybe her husband understand and agrees with his wife, I mean, she is stating the obvious. We all think about sex with other people that we may not be in a relationship with. And I would suggest that her husband and almost every other husband thinks about and quietly wishes he could get some strange. But, as Marissa, stated saying something and DOING it are totally different things. Most people that think about strange would not actually follow thru with it even if able. Shit, maybe they even have an arrangement (think Larry David) after ten years of marriage they are allowed to have one night with another person, who knows?
I think maybe Marissa is going through a mid-life crisis. Either that or is going through the change and her hormones are messed up. She looks to me like a woman on the prowl. She seems to look at others husbands and make little innuendos or comments.” Maricio looks good in purple”? Um I don’t know just seems like she might be in heat…LoL…Trash is just a hot mess. The only time she thinks she is standing up for herself or anyone else is when she is drunk. CaCa. She makes me sick. The Hoofer is just a big fat liar. Am surprised her family hasn’t been involved in politics…lol…She would make a great bullshitter. Her chef could be her adviser. LOL…
Phil Maloof was a Senator for NM. I think he served 2 terms.
I just figured it out. Marisa is the Alex McCord of RHOBH. People pleaser and back-tracker of shit talking to fit in.
While I like Marisa, and her style, (finally a woman with grown-up hair!), I think the comments about her hubby are too much. I would assume that they are not happy and not having fun in the bedroom. If my husband stood on camera at a party saying he wants to sleep with someone else, I’d be mortified. I don’t care if they have been married a while, that is still mean.