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BRANDI GLANVILLE, ADRIENNE MALOOF: The Phony Story Lines… All Is Revealed… All Is Forgiven… BUT, It’s ALL About The Kids!!… Brandi’s Book… Amazon Says Brandi Is “Rich and Famous”!!

Word of the Day:  DEBACLE.  Definition: A complete collapse or failure.   Noun:  A sudden and ignominious failure; a fiasco.

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Let’s analyze and TRY to digest the most recent set-up-annoying-phony-ridiculous-ever-story-line which was dragged out for several episodes of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills… the Brandi Glanville v Adrienne Maloof debacle.

YES, a debacle!   This BrandiBlurtBlunder was, as always had been suspected, the fact that Adrienne Magoof’s twin boys were carried by a surrogate.

Well, whoop-de-doo!  And this ‘revelation’ gets a HUGE Ken “We Don’t Care”!!

We at SH had been wonderin’ about Adrienne Magoof’s kids for years.  We thought it was awful strange that there is not ONE photo of Adrienne while pregnant.   Not ONE!  Neither with her twins… or pregnant with her first son.  In fact, while looking for da Magoof’s pregnant pictures, noticed that there are ZERO photos of Magoof PRE-Housewives!  Well, let’s clear that up:  there are ZERO photos of Magoof before the Housewives which she, herself, did not put out!

Adrienne’s ‘people’ have scrubbed any photos of her clean!

One would think that because Adrienne attended the University of New Mexico on a tennis scholarship that there would be at least ONE photo of her holding a tennis racket.  Nope, not a one!

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The rumor of Adrienne using a surrogate has been out there for years… it was not addressed on SH because it could not be verified.   When Brandi’sBlurtBlunder was hushed, everyone knew what the “big secret” was… ’cause it was NOT a big secret!

Even HagfaceKyle Richards made sure to mention the word “surrogate” while at the now-defunct Moroccan restaurant… where the feuding continued… around the :15 mark.

NOTE:  Just noticed that Shana said that she filed for bankruptcy.  Shana is not being truthy… but what else is new???

If you recall, Brandi’s Blurt started at the big party for MO-reese… sorry, just can’t help it…

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… and then the Magoof/Brandi “big secret” continued on for at least three episodes.

Yesterday, Adrienne confirmed that she didn’t want her six-year-old sons to know about them being carried by a surrogate… until they were at least TEN years old!  Adrienne also said that she wanted her kids to get the information from her and not read it randomly somewhere…

OK… who discusses with their children the various ways which they can be brought into this world?  Can ya just picture that debacle?

  • Adrienne Magoof:  Hey, kids!  Stop playing with Mommy’s new purses!  Mommy wants to talk with you about something very important!
  • KIDS:  Awwww.  Do we HAVE to?  We like “designing” things…
  • AM:  Do you want to know how you were born?
  • KIDS:  No.

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These Housewives seem to have some very skewed ideas on what to tell their children and when.

The more that is heard from Brandi, the more disgusting she becomes.

Brandi had some very convivial conversations with her RHOBH cast mates during dinner in Las Vegas about her sons chatting with Brandi about her Georgia O’Keefe…

…and, of course, HagfaceKyle thought Brandi’s anecdotal discussions with her sons were so cute that Hagface just HAD to throw in something which her daughter said about Kyle’s “GO,” too!

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Just like Adrienne Magoof’s future conversations with her young sons re surrogacy, how and WHY do Brandi’s sons know about Brandi’s “GO”?    Did they just ask her one day?

  • Brandi’s Boys: “Hey, Mom… can you show us why you can’t move around?  Like, why you can’t get outta bed?  It’s been four days now since you had an operation.”
  • Brandi:  Oh, SURE!  As soon as you’re done peein’ in the front yard, come on over here and look.  See?  That’s where you came from!
  • Brandi’s Boys:  Fingers pressing cellphone… “Hi, LeAnn… can you come and get us… PLEASE?  NOW!?”

From NYDailyNews… another except from Brandi’s book:

“A week after the surgery, he was on the phone screaming, ‘What the f–k cost you $12,000? Who the f–k is Dr. Matlock? Did you get a nose job?’”

Glanville lied over the phone and said the money was indeed for a nose job. Cibrian immediately hung up but called again after five minutes.

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“This time I didn’t answer,” she writes. “It rang again — and then again. ‘Ahh,’ I thought. Eddie must have discovered Dr. Matlock on Google. I decided it was best to avoid his calls for the next few days while he cooled off.”

Glanville continues that Eddie was “absolutely livid” of the charge. She admits that “in hindsight, I know I shouldn’t have put it on Eddie’s card. It was vengeful, and it came back to bite me, because this was something I hoped to keep private.”

NOTE:  PRIVATE?  Private??  We get that Brandi’s “character” was changed from “Head B*tch of Beverly Hills” to “Poor, Single Mother Brandi.”  However, Brandi signed up for a “reality” show and is making some big bucks.  As you all know, once you sign up to appear on a “reality” show, especially a Bravo “reality” show, you are no longer a “private” citizen.  

Unlike a “regular” citizen who simply observes these “reality” shows, and whose private life is expected to stay private, once these Housewives agree to sign up for these “reality” shows, that expectation of privacy is signed away… in exchange for the Bravo paycheck, the “fame,” the perks and the bucks they can demand for pushing products and  appearance fees!

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But, seriously, there are some things which should be kept private.  

“Poor” Brandi had a great idea there, but one way to NOT keep something private is to include the information in a BOOK!  Brandi has signed that iron-clad Bravo contract and has sold away her privacy.  The question for “poor” Brandi:  Is it worth it?  The answer:  Obviously YES!

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Brandi making the rounds of the NYMediaMafia has not even started yet!  Not only will Brandi be seen on every talk show imaginable, but since her book also includes the LeAnn/Eddie debacle, she will get bumped up from the media circles where the Housewives usually make their rounds (WWHL, MissAndyCoop, Wendy, MorningBuzz, GoodDayNY, GoodDayLA…) to more lofty media outlets, where Brandi will probably show exactly which of her parts got that rejuvenation… probably “TheDoctors” “Dr. Phil” “Dr. Drew” and certainly MissAndy will have already have made a special game for Brandi’s WWHL appearance!  

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You will be seeing and hearing Brandi constantly… the same questions asked, the same answers given.    

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Just reading these excerpts from her book is a total turn off.  

YOU can watch Brandi when she does her media book tour… we don’t want any parts of it.  And that includes knowing anything about Brandi’s lady parts.   BLEEEEECH!  

MORE “pity poor Brandi” from her book…

“I was a jobless, homeless, mother of two living out of her $1,200-a-month SUV and couch-surfing from one hospitable friend to the next,” she explains. “After my divorce – even with the help of Lexapro – I fell into a bit of a tailspin [and an eventual DUI arrest]. White wine became my constant shoulder to lean on.”  NOTE:  Brandi coulda been on “Celebrity Rehab” and then made even more money bein’ on her friend, Jennifer Gimenez’ show “Celebrity Rehab Halfway House”… Brandi coulda then relapsed; sent to the same Utah rehab facility as Kim Richards, where “rehab” fun ensued and another “reality” show would have been incubated!  “Kim and Brandi… RehabPals” another RHOBH spin-off!!

As if that is not enough to shock and awe, there’s more.  Glanville reveals that she underwent vaginal rejuvenation.

“This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000,” Brandi says. “A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina…. I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor’s office] Eddie’s credit card number.”

Despite all the hardships Glanville actually thanks her former husband in the book.

If you were still having pity for “POOR” Brandi… Amazon knows that Brandi is far from “POOR!”  Amazon put Brandi in the “Rich & Famous….” category!!

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NOTE:  Brandi has sunk herself down to the lowest denominator and is now in the same category as the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Melissa and JoeyMarco Gorga.   That is some pretty low life…

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208 comments on “BRANDI GLANVILLE, ADRIENNE MALOOF: The Phony Story Lines… All Is Revealed… All Is Forgiven… BUT, It’s ALL About The Kids!!… Brandi’s Book… Amazon Says Brandi Is “Rich and Famous”!!

  1. I have suspected that Miss A is a robot for awhile now. The lack of pre-production photos confirms this! Brandi will be the new breakout star and the other HW are just pissed off IMO. So over this season!

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    • ITA. This season is the same blahhhhhh-worthy stuff that we see every season in every single franchise. I’m watching RH of Vancouver again in anticipation of the new season. Maybe that will be more entertaining. I’m also going to check out TLC’s “Plastic Wives”. I’m on the hunt for entertaining “reality” TV.

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      • Me too. I’ve watched Dance Moms (scary), Hoarders (no words), Selling New York (I like to imagine I can afford anything in NYC), Say Yes to the Dress (Say Lame to the Lame), ….I still have hope for RHNJ because of Jax and Juicey pending court cases.

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    • pj: Am not only over this season of BH, but am over ALL the franchises. RHONY will start filming soon and I simply don’t care! The HWs have become so formulaic, once you’ve watched one franchise, you’ve seen them all! Boring and very yawn-worthy. TFC!! SH

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      • ITA! I am curious to see how Jax and Juicey’s court cases turn out! Plus, I wonder where Mel and Joe will stage their 6 pieces of furniture.

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  2. Bahahahaha! The pic of Brandi telling Don Caro to “STFU” and “get ‘er done…” is hilarious. It looks like the Don is actually listening. LOL

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  3. I feel “rejuvenating” a vagina is sillier than a facelift (because nobody can actually SEE it). It’s also a more wasteful way to spend needed money. That said, I still find Brandi to be humorous in her little “Brandi-isms”. Others may bash her brashness. I swear like a sailor and can relate to her. Underneath her crude language, she at times, is also insightful. As for her parlaying her misery into a money maker – why not? She’s risen above her circumstances and she isn’t taking anything away from someone else. JMO

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  4. Leanne Rhimes did Brandi a favor by taking Eddie off her hands. Brandi now has her fifteen minutes of fame because of the affair. Leanne would actually fit in with the BH Ho’s because she is another child star who became eff’ed up because of it. I so agree with Ms. SH’s sentiments about these franchises. All the dopey fake parties and drama is a snoozefest.

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  5. MP: Regarding the size of one’s penis, again, it has been my experience that it is not the size of the gun, it’s the gunner that matters.

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    • Yeah…when I was a teenager I knew a retired “Madame.” I remember her telling me the same thing…and not to believe all the stereotypes about different races. I figured she must have known, based on the number of peckers she had seen over the years. (As a side note, she was one of the most interesting women I have ever known. She fled Germany alone as a teenager and ended up in New York City. She had truly seen the absolute best as well as the absolute worst humanity has to offer.)

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  6. Maybe BG talks about her “vaguvenation” because she made a deal with the coochie doc. In exchange for the mention and the good praise she gets a free vaguvenation every 3000 boinks or 300 partners, whichever comes first. Like rotating the tires or changing the oil on your car.

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  7. That’s insanity and stoopidity to a degree I cannot even comprehend. Vile. Rape is not or ever should be a subject of jest. Breathe of fresh air ? I think not more like rotting sewage dressed up as a HW.

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  8. Eddie would make comments regarding sex after she gave birth to Jake, that it wasn’t the “same”. Then she finds out he’s having an affair with not one but at least 2 girls that haven’t given birth; I think it’s poetic justice. What kind of man says that to the woman he loves/mother of his children? I would do the same thing, obviously it would always be in the back of my mind. Regarding her vehicle situation I saw her on Wendy Williams, Eddy was pretty much broke & she was oblivious. Her father had to co-sign to get her a car as she had no credit established in her name. Now we know why EC goes to Leann, $$$. Leann told her twitter minions about the surgery & they taunted Brandi (doll comes with Vaginal Rejuvination Kit), they knew the cost. I have all of this saved on Twitter from a devoted follower that tracked the harassment from the beginning. Let me know your twitter & I will send.

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  9. Wait a minute , about the Brandi’s “rich” part. Didn’t she say Eddie only went with Leann for Leann’s money? She may be right but if so why present Brandi as wealthy? & really most of these ladies wouldn’t be recognized by a huge part of the general public, just those of us dumb enough to follow the shows :D

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  10. Brandi should have never written this book because her kids will see it and their parents etc. I have been homeless, and had a lot of bad things happen to my kids and I. I never once did anything to make them anything but proud of me. Even if we were poor, they knew that I would figure out an honest and honorable way to make things better..I would have never humiliated them with a book like this – even if they are young – their friends parents know. I love Brandi…really really liked her, but this was a low blow to do to her kids. I used to believe she put her kids first, but not in this instance.

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