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THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP: Season Three, Episode Eleven… “Stars and Strips”

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP   RHOBH cast

Season Three, Episode Eleven… “Stars and Strips”

by Sandi Duffy

Yolanda is always cooking and preparing food for the cameras.  Raise your had if you think Yolanda really prepares her own food.  Yolanda also is critical of everyone in Beverly Hills who is botoxed, like Yolanda isn’t botoxed.

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Ugh, the annoying Suzanne Somers who doles out medical advice and does she even have a high school diploma?  Lisa has no idea who Chrissy Snow is.  Haha.  I loved on Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D List, when she was hiding diet soda from Suzanne.

suzanne pill pack

Kyle is a big fan of her books.  Yeah, Kyle is into Kabbalah, too, so I take her opinions with a grain of salt.  Lisa TTCs about swallowing pills and other things.  She is hilarious.  I love British humor.  Suzanne doesn’t get that Lisa is making fun of her because she takes herself way too seriously.   I wish someone had walked into Yolanda;s house with a Big Mac.

RHOBH Yolanda Suzanne pills

Brandi TTCs that her ex husband bought her a stripper pole.  I’d kick my husband in the nuts if he bought me a stripper pole.  How the hell did Brandi get hired to do a stripping class in Vegas if she never stripped?  I guess that qualifies me, too.  I wish someone in Vegas would hire me to do something I have never done before.

After all the workout video nonsense on Atlanta last night, why doesn’t Brandi do a workout video?  Not that I would buy it.  As a rule I won’t buy anything Housewives related, except Skinnygirl Cosmos.  Those are good.  The margarita, not so much.

Oh holy hell, Kyle is having a sixth grade graduation party for her daughter.  No one actually “graduates” sixth grade.  They simply move from fifth grade to sixth grade.  The morally corrupt Faye Rancik is there.  So are Paul and Adrienne and Paul asks where Kyle’s sisters are.  Kyle gives lame-ass excuses.  The real answer is her sisters can’t stand her because she is sh-t-stirring bi–ch.

 

There is all kinds of talk about how Faye had Adrienne’s back.  Too bad Faye didn’t have Nicole Brown Simpson’s back.  Look out, Adrienne, if history is any predictor, Faye will write a book about you.

Kim is home organizing pictures.  I wonder if that’s why she missed Kyle’s party.  I can’t blame her.  I’d rather organize my socks than go to any of Kyle’s parties.

Kim wants to get a nose job.  I don’t know if it’s a good idea for an addict to undergo elective surgery that requires pain medication.  I know her problem is alcohol, but addicts typically replace one addiction for another.  I know this from watching Intervention and Celebrity Rehab.

Brandi has a friend named Adrienne, but not THAT Adrienne.  Brandi needs help packing. Give me a break.  I go once a year to Vegas with my girlfriends and I don’t need help packing.  I pack every slutty dress and shoes I own along with all my bathing suits.  Easy Peezy.

Marisa is packing with her mother and her mother kind of reminds me of my mother, lacking boundary issues.  My mother never hesitates to tell me what to wear, how to decorate, what to cook.  And her mom is right, that dress was ugly.

Lisa is asking Ken’s advice about what to bring.  These women need a lot of help to pack.  And I’m with Ken, how the hell does stripping empower women?

Marisa’s mom is angling for an invitation.  That’s pretty funny.

 

Ken asks the 20 million dollar question–are they staying at The Palms?

Why is Kyle doing Turbo Tax commercials?  It’s bad enough I watch her once a week on Real Housewives, now I have to see her on Turbo Tax commercials.  Am I going to be subjected to her until April 15?

 

 

Let’s not forget HagfaceKyle’s Nourage!!

The ladies are staying at the Four Seasons, which is connected to Mandalay Bay.  There’s an ice bar in Mandalay Bay called Minus 5 and it’s a lot of fun.  The put you in a parka and boots and gloves and the entire bar is made of ice.

Yolanda skipped the trip, and we get to see her prepare more food that we all know she doesn’t really prepare.  And we all know Yolanda never eats chocolate soufflés.

Yolanda TTCs that her and David are going to stay married forever.  Hasn’t David been married like a half dozen times?

David Foster with his first wife… walkin’ on the beach and all that…

 

 

The ladies have dinner in Vegas and there is talk about Kyle’s stupid store.  Are all the clothes there three sizes too small for the customers?

Brandi tells Marissa she felt bad for Dean at dinner when she was talking about him.  Kyle is ruining the entire trip so far.  No one in Vegas is on your side Kyle.  Lisa doesn’t trust you.  You treated Camille like shit in season one.  Jennifer is Brandi’s BFF and Marisa hasn’t once taken your side since she joined the show.  You are not the Queen Bee here, Kyle.  It’s nice seeing her not comfortable.

Marisa points out that Leeann Rimes is trying to be Brandi.  I really like Marisa (and her husband).

We discover that Lisa prefers the word “p*ssy” over vagina.

 

Kim meets with her plastic surgeon to get her nose done.  Kyle brought up doing her nose.  Kyle is the worst sister in the world.

The ladies are all at the pool the next day in what looks like evening wear, and Yolanda shows up in denim shorts.  It reminds of when they were in Ojai and Yolanda was the only one dressed casually.

Lisa asks if Adrienne is mad that Brandi isn’t supporting her business by stripping at The Palms.  I would never stay at The Palms.  It’s beautiful and has great restaurants and clubs, but it is way off The Strip.  I don’t like to be stuck in one place.  That’s why I don’t like cruises or all -inclusive resorts.

On next week’s RHOBH…

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207 comments on “THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP: Season Three, Episode Eleven… “Stars and Strips”

  1. O.K. I’ll just say it. Yes I believe that Yolanda cooks. although she likely does not cook everyday, and since she and I are the same age and I don’t have wrinkles or use botox, I do believe she could indeed be botox free. I don’t scrunch up my forehead, and am already getting my daughter in the habit of not doing it either. Just sayin’.

  2. Kyle must’ve gotten dressed for the party in the dark. I’ve seen such dresses on a bride or groom’s mother at weddings. And was that mauve? Wow.

  3. Watched RHOBH tonight for the first time this season and threw up in my mouth a few times. To all you clever commenters, I just MUCH rather come here as usual and get the straight sheet from you!

  4. I enjoyed the girls in Vegas, I thought that it looked like fun… But that graduation party for Sophia was lame.. She had her friends and family… How she explained why her sisters weren’t there was ridiculous.. Kathy had a toothache… Whatever… Kim had a sick child… Fake Faye stirring the trouble again. About Brandi, Kyle and Maurice right there to get brownie points for sticking up for Paul and Adrienne.. Insane… Let it go, it’s run it’s coarse… But what I thought was the most annoying, Maurice saying where is my dad, he’ll he knows he was sitting next to his mother…he wanted camera time for his dad.. He has become a star in his own mind. Does he really think we give a crap about his family.. Hell we can barely stand him… For so reason, I think they want their own show… Introducing his family, to see if we like them.. We don’t like you Maurice, you’re a girly boy… Tired of you… Tired of Faye, and Kyle can stop stirring the pot, don’t like her at all… By the way, Brandi was pretty good on that pole, eat your heart out Leeann… I wish I had legs like hers, they go on forever…

    • Lol, right? Kathy will go to any and every party unless it’s hosted by Kyle. Kim would rather have a nose job than hang out with Kyle. Translation Kyle: you’re not very enjoyable.

  5. If Sophia goes to the same school Mo went to, it means he’s been here for a long time – I always thought he had an accent. What’s that about?

    It must be a private school since the schools in BH are K-8 and Kyle said she was going to a new school. So….Mo’s parent must have some money themselves. Anyone know their background?

    • Mo-reese’s father is a realtor I think, and his mother has dual doctoral degrees, one in sexual something or other (counseling, maybe?). I really like Mo-reese’s mom. She seems sweet, genuine and elegant. I felt badly for her after her speech at Sophia’s graduation. Kyle immediately brought the attention to herself and sobbed about her own parents not being there. She made her daughter cry about it too. Bad parent and DIL. She needs to be appreciative and respectful of the family present.

      • I found this on another site:

        Mauricio Umansky was born in Mexico City D.F, his mother is Dr. Estella Sneider, Ph.D , his father is Eduardo Umansky. Eduardo and Estella were married for 30 years until they decided to divorce. Estella and Eduardo are good friends and family continues sharing family time together.
        Both Estella Sneider and Eduardo Umansky were born in Mexico City. Mauricio has a younger sister named Sharon, who was as well born in Mexico City. Mauricio’s Grandparents were born in Minsk, Kiev, Lithuania, Lima Peru. Great Grandparents were born in Russia, Lithuania, Greece and Turkey. We are all Jewish.
        Source(s):
        Source is myself….I am Estella Sneider (Mauricio Umansky’s Mother) aka: Estella Umansky, Estella Sneider-Umansky, Dr. Estella Sneider, Dr. Estella Umansky, Dr. Estella Sneider Umansky

      • I like his mother, too. But I thought it was weird when she said “not everyone is lucky enough to have their grandparents around.” It was kinda passive aggressive, like “You better appreciate me.” Especially since the kid she was talking to doesn’t have both her grandparents.

        • To me, that was messed up. Who says something like that knowing that the child she is speaking to only had one set of grandparents – and she happens to be one half of the set? I don’t know that I like Mo’s mamma after that comment. What was her point? Maybe her brain got caught up in the face lift she had and her common sense ended up in the “medical waste” bag on the way to the incinerator along with the extra skin?

          • I’m with you. It was a very insensitive speech for a grandmother to make at her grand daughter’s graduation party or ever. It’s no wonder Mauritzio is a douche.

    • He is new to this season. Last season she had a housekeeper that was a lady. She would roll her eyes at Kim when she would go threw baby pics of her kids. This house boy seems to be sweet.

      • She sure does go through pictures of her kids a lot. It’s always so sad…I feel like she’s living in the past

      • Kim and the houseboy need to have a romance. He’ll be houseboy/lover/nurse. While she sits, points, grinds chicken salad to hell and back, he’ll smile and say, “What a good idea.” In love, they’ll be oblivious to stares and whispers.

        • Lol! He shows her the attention her sister never did. Kim will pay him in chicken salad. It’s perfect!

    • to the people above. Yolanda absolutely doesn’t cram cooking down everyone’s throat. I guarantee Bravo showed up to film..that is what she was doing. She has been sickly throughout the filming and probably wasn’t doing much. Since David was gone for two weeks they had to film something. Heavens! I have to work hours and hours a day – single mom, crappy life – boy I love how Yolanda is. She is not belittling American woman. She just has a nice life, a great husband that appreciates her. This is what all the class warfare our politicians are inciting us to feel does to everyone. How dare they have a nice life and treat each other with love – they are evil people and should be shot – or they should give all of us who made really stupid decisions all fo their money. Or please be unhappy and a train wreck like Taylor We don’t want to see a loving couple. How dare they act like that !

      • I absolutely agree. I’d rather see her admit to knowing how to cook and actually do it, than pretend not to know how, ala the entitled Mrs.Dubrow, (who feels it is somehow beneath her–but make a claim as to being a “foodie” all 118lbs of her.) So far, everything about Yolanda is aspirational to me.

        • Most women who grew up well and elegantly know how to cook and do something in the kitchen. Dubrows unwillingness in the kitchen shows that she didn’t , dubrow most likely grew up in a normal middle class home where her mother cooked cuz she had to, and thinks not cooking is a sign of money and class, lack of kitchen skills is a lack of sophistication IMO, no matter how you grew up. Dubrow has that stupid nouveau riche mentality about cooking.

          • OMG–you just described my cousin whom I loathe to the very fiber of my being. She thinks she’s noveau riche and loves to talk about how she can’t cook. Irony is, her mother is a gourmet cook, and reallyl ANYONE can cook if they know how to read. It’s called a cookbook!

            • If she did it for BRAVO => she’s stoopid. If it was not BRAVO’s idea => she’s stoopid. Stoopid equals stoopid, period. ;)

      • I agree. Yolanda is not belittle an American woman and her traditional values when it comes to her husband and family are refreshing . There is so little happiness left on these shows that I don’t have it in me to get through the entire episode. Who can possibly derive any entertainment from the never ending misery?YoFo and Lisa is the only reason I force myself to watch BH. The only thing I disagree on is that class warfare incites hate for Yolanda. PS:Sorry to read that you feel that way about your life. I wish you to find the happiness you see in YoFO’s life. Being a single mom is not easy, and you deserve a break!

      • Nancy it not just cooking, I think yofo cooks and knows how to run a home very well, as I’ve mentioned before, it is to be commended. But what I think bothers some is that she can be annoying in her presentation in front of the camera. I think it’s great she has a nice life and marriage, and prefer that than all the misery. But sometimes she’s just a bit much, and seems to stand on a higher ground looking down………..then why did you go on a reality show if that’s the case.? Lisa has a fab life and marriage but doesn’t take herself seriously and manages to endear herself to most with that wit. So its all in the delivery with Yolanda that’s all

  6. I know Swine wasnt in the episode but i feel batter saying SHUT UP SWINE after every epsode.

  7. Whenever Kim Richards appears onscreen you have the answer to the question, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

  8. ms. sh did have a clip of “baby jane” re: kim & kyle was too funny oooh also that video of foster with his 1st wife on this thread. that’s what vickie’s brooksi desires to be but he lacks the talent and $$

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