DAMMIT… my tooth is still killing me! I don’t care about your damn tooth. I’m only here to boost my acting career… why don’t you call LeAnn, maybe she’ll care about your tooth. OH! Do you STILL have that wonky tooth? We’ll just wrap a piece of string around that tooth, attach the string to the SUR entrance door, then slam that SUR door shut real hard…that’ll yank that tooth right outta your bloody mouth!
I’d give you my personal dentist’s number, but remember… you’re a poor, single, struggling woman being “sued” by the Hoof on this season of the RHOBH… you’d never even be able to afford the cost of one sniff of the lovely laughing gas which my dentist imports from London daily. Which reminds me… I have a dentist appointment!! Gotta go!
So, Yolanda, how do ya like bein’ on my show… I mean how do you like being on a “reality” show? I mean, how do you like being a part of the RHOBH? And… how long do I have to carry around these string beans for you?
Drink up, Kyle.. this will curb those hunger pangs you’re always whining about! You’ll learn to love this cleanse… even though it’s been around since 1960… and where are dos string beans you were carrying for me?
I had to eat those string beans! Climbing those nine steps back up to your house was torture and I needed the strength from those beans. Those string beans gave me a stomach ache and now my head is thumping!
Just drink more of my cleanse… at least four gallons more. David will be home soon… I’ve already texted him and he’s gonna write a special song, just for you! Which song title do you like better “Kyle Don’t Know Beans” or “Wild Lavender Is Not A Vegetable”???
I know your advice is crap, but the only reason I keep letting you into my house is because you remind me so much of my Ken. OK? There, I said it! When I look at you, I see my KenBoy! And when I see my KenBoy, I just think of his classic words…
OH! Mr. KenTodd, let me put that last flower in the ground… I put all the others in for you. OH! I forgot about zee cameras! Sorry, Mr. Ken! You go ahead and we won’t tell no one that I planted all Mz. Pump’s flowers!
I swear to you that I didn’t make the coffee and I didn’t break the stems on those flowers! Besides, don’t you know who I am? As soon as my mother recovers from her mysterious concussion, which she told me that she got from John Kerry pushin’ her into a wall, you’ll be gettin’ a call from the state department.
Yes, Kyle… my darling Lisa got a call from a “Mrs. Clinton”! My Lisa hung up on her and fired Chelsea. We don’t care who done it… no one gets away with makin’ junk coffee and breakin’ flowers stems around SUR!
So wot if we got a letter to appear in front of the Irish Republican Snifters society! They’re just tryin’ to sell us brandy glasses for our restaurants… hope you threw that letter from those Irish hooligans in the trash! Push me, Ken… higher!! HIGHER!!
Oh, darling… I can’t wait until our re-commitment ceremony! Let’s invite all the other Bravo couples who’ve gone through the same re-wedding for ratings! They’re all divorced now, but let’s invite them anyway! Maybe a big brawl will let loose during our ceremony… just think of the ratings, darling!
Here’s the deal, Marisa. You weren’t around last season, but you have been friends with Kyle for over twelve years, so you KNOW about Kyle stealin’ Kim’s house. So, Kyle probably stole YOUR dress. OH… and if you’ve been friends for so long, howz come you didn’t know that Kyle’s adopted?
OH, it’s my sister… Kim! Let’s show everyone how much we love each other… big hugs and two-cheek kisses! You just can’t help yourself by embarrassing me, can you Kim? Your mic pac is stickin’ outta the back of your dress!
I might be divorced from Kelsey, but I still got clout in the TV world! I’m sick and tired of our Beverly Hills franchise gettin’ story line leftovers! This belly dancin’ shtick was done by those cretins in New Jersey! Oh, MissAndy’s gonna hear from me!
Oh, Shana! I know what it’s like to have your favorite things yanked out from under you. Well, not really… I was kinda glad when Kelsey took off. But, to have your fake Birkin bags taken… that’s just low!
I’m sitting here listening to these people whining about ponies and phony Birkin bags when I could be home vit my David, listening to Streisand, Botti, Stevie Wonder, Michael Buble, Xtina, Rihanna, Celine Dion, LAReid, Kenny Loggins, Blake Shelton, Justin Beiber, and the UCLA Marching Band… they’re all in my living room right now. Howz about it, VPump? Let’s blow this joint!
I’m only Kyle’s “husband” until my contract is up… so I don’t know nuthin’ about no stolen house. I’ll have to ask my “wife” that question. Did you steal your sister’s house, Kyle?
DAMN!! That was some grip. I got all my fingers… how are yours, Camille? The next time we have one of these forced get-togethers, don’t place me next to super-grip Skeletor. Now… didn’t someone ask for dessert???