REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP: Season Three, Episode Nine… “Moroccan Madness”


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Season Three, Episode Nine… “Moroccan Madness”

by Sandi Duffy

So……….Brandi is done talking with Slutty McSlutster and rehashes the conversation with Lisa.  I wish that douche, Eddie, didn’t get so much airtime, but Brandi gets her shots in when she states that Slutty was number 3 in a list of 300.  And that he’ll probably cheat again.  I can feel Leanne’s nervous breakdown all the way over here on the East Coast.

I can’t help but wonder if Brandi always lacked confidence or if her ex’s cheating did that to her.  Brandi should have Kyle’s confidence.  Kyle thinks she’s the shit.  In turn, Kyle should have Brandi’s lack of confidence and then maybe we wouldn’t be subjected to seeing her in clothing that’s 3 sizes too small.

Kyle visits Yolanda and they are doing a cleanse.  Yolanda reminds me of Aviva with all her wacky alternative ideas.  Well, Aviva if Aviva really had money, looks, and her sanity.

Kim’s “life coach” comes over.  See what I did there?  See how I put “life coach” in parentheses?  That’s because I put “life coaches” in the same category as “psychics”.

Lisa goes to her restaurant–the other restaurant, not the one that’s the terrible Bravo TV show.

Ken and the housekeeper are planting a garden for Lisa.  The Brits really love their gardens.  I know this because I watch a lot of PBS–Downton Abbey, Masterpiece Mystery, Rosemary and Thyme.  Everything I know about British people I’ve learned from Channel 13.

Ken surprises her with her garden and it’s very sweet.  Actually it turns out to be a pink swing and a little heart-shaped garden.   Ken and Lisa are getting ready to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and I smell a Housewives Vow Renewal.  I was right.  Ken proposes a vow renewal.  I must be “psychic”…or I watch too Housewives.

Kyle is having dinner with Marisa  and the ladies because she is “embarrassed” about her dinner party.  She should be f–king embarrassed.  I can’t believe Brandi is coming to dinner.  Is the morally corrupt Faye Rancid coming because if she is, I’m out of here.  You are all on your own with this recap.

Kyle claimed that Marisa was such a good friend, but she never met Kim.  Either Kyle and Marisa aren’t really friends or Kyle is really the world’s shittiest sister…and hostess.

And here’s Brandi.  Why?  Why would Brandi subject herself to this?  Is the Bravo paycheck really worth it?  Brandi announces that Adrienne and Paul are suing her.  They want Brandi to sign a piece of paper stating she will never talk about them again.  If they have some big secret, WHY THE F–K ARE THEY ON A REALITY SHOW?  Camille arrives.  Ugh, and here comes Trailor.  Kim is next.  I hope Kim tells Kyle off.  If she tells Kyle off, she’ll be my favorite housewife.  Oh, and housewife wannabe, Maurice shows up.  Kim needs to tell him off, too.  Marissa’s husband is cute.  Her brother, not so much.  Is she trying to fix Brandi up with him?  I like Chris Botti better.

Yolanda and Kyle pounce on Kim for not coming to “the cleanse.”  Yeah, that’s now in parentheses, too.  Yolanda is getting all sanctimonious and Gwyneth Paltrow on me now.  And that’s not a compliment.  I used to devote a blog post a month to making fun of Gwynnie’s website, GOOP.

Kim says she can’t do a cleanse.  Kyle won’t let it go.  I can tell you why she can’t do a cleanse.  Her body needs friggin’ nutrients after years of alcoholism.  Get off her freakin’ back.

Kim and Kyle have a heart-to-heart.  THEN, Kyle TTC’s that she doesn’t think Kim will stay sober.  Well with a supportive sister like Kyle, I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t.


Yolanda gets all judgie because the Moroccan restaurant isn’t Arabic enough for her.  Trailor claims she is ready to date.  She is…her married lawyer.  Ok, I’m not really one to talk. My husband died over 5 years ago and I’ve gone on exactly one date…and that was a year ago.  Ok, now we get to hear Trailor trash her dead husband again.

Brandi tells the ladies Adrienne is suing her.  Just sign the damn paper,  Brandi.  You’re broke.  You can’t afford a lawyer and fight it.  Maurice, the extra housewife, has too much to say.  STFU, Mauricio!  STFU!

Damn!  Trailor is making it about her again.  Kim goes at Trailor, and I’m ready to be her BFF.  Go Kim.  Now go at Kyle.  And Maurice.  STFU, MAURICE!

Go Ken.  Stick up for Brandi and go at Maurice!  I’m loving Ken, now.  Of course Maurice is going to be on Adrienne and Paul’s side because Brandi doesn’t have money and Adrienne and Paul do, even if it is dwindling in leaps and bounds.

Marisa’s husband looks like a deer in the headlights.  He is really cute.

Kim now joins in and attacks Brandi for calling her a meth addict.  She had the drug wrong, but the diagnosis right.  Kim, you and your sister were horrible to Brandi.  WHEN THE F–K ARE YOU GOING TO OWN IT?!  Isn’t that a step in AA?  I know that from watching Billy Madison.

Lisa wants to know where everyone was when Adrienne accused her of selling stories.  Maurice asks who cares about that.  Damn, I dislike Maurice.  Marissa’s husband killed me when after everything hit’s the fan he asks who wants dessert.  I actually had to rewind it to make sure that’s what he really said.  He’s my new favorite husband.


On the next RHOBH…


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150 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP: Season Three, Episode Nine… “Moroccan Madness”

  1. Darn it! I’m on the west coast, but I just couldn’t resist reading your blog. Yes, Kim needs to grow a back bone and seriously give Kyle and Mo the what for, but instead she decides to go after the low hanging fruit which is Brandi! Sigh….

    So how come Mo gets to decide what is or is not important? I hate that he got so much attention in the first season over his looks. It’s all seriously gone to his friggin’ head!

  2. Your synopsis of tonight’s episode was hysterical…thank you, I loved reading that! I despise Maurice. Being on a television show has REALLY gone to his and Kyle’s heads. He can’t keep his fat mouth shut anymore than his hagface wife. I wish Ken could punch his lights out but he’s a gentleman and a very sweet man. Taylor made a good point or two however, I’m sick to death of her turning everything around and making it about her. There are several morons on the show and Bravo seriously needs to clean house. I’m fed up with most of them and channel flip when a few of them have airtime. My next step will be to just stop watching if this keeps up. Bravo, I beg of you, drop all but Lisa, Brandi and Yolanda in the sewer and bring in some new blood with a little more class.

    • Season 1 when Camille and Kyle were going toe to toe it was a different story. Morry barely rased an eyebrow about Camille’s antics and got on to his wife for it. He even went to Camille’s house afterwards in tight white tennis shorts and played a match with her while his wife ran around in a giant pink MooMoo. Everyone knows that Camille’s tennis partnets were all up for extracaricular activites back then (Remember Kelsey’s friend Nick that she kissed on the lips?) Camille made alllllll those comments about Morry loving the ladies and Kyle and Morry NEVER EVER addressed that. Fast forward, here’s Brandi she is broke as a joke and will never live up to Morry’s standards of clientele but Eddie and LeAnn will. Morry maybe you should’nt have bought your wife that Mazerati, I think you can’t really afford it since to make payments on it caused you to sell your soul!
      Adrianne and Paul asking Brandi to sign that paper will effectivly get her fired from RHOBH, why would they want her if she can’t say crap about people? This secret that can not be spoken will only be intriguing for only so long. Flirting only goes so far sooner or later you have to give it up! lol

      • So once again it is clear that you can say anything about anyone so long as Mo is making money off of you. If you don’t have a pot to piss in, Mo will verbally kick you butt, and completely ignore his own wife’s actions in your regard. He’s a real estate whore, plain and simple.

  3. Love your blog.

    My take, not as much detail:

    Lets see… Kim was rude to no show 3x after making plans with Yolanda.

    Ken and Lisa are darling together.

    Kyle is still spews narcissisism every turn and continues to malign her sisterwhenever a camera is aimed in her direction.

    The master cleanse is headache inducing hell, you will lose 12, but gain 6 back.
    Kim has memory issues, worse still, social skills remain amiss.
    Kim insulted YoYo at the restaurant.

    Taylor = grifter, drunk.

    Marissa, prob in trouble with husband for joining the series.

    Mauricio is Faye minus the bad wig.

    Brandy, whom I am a fan, was embarrassing. She obviously does not know how or when to stop arguing in public. the other guests shouldn’t have to hear her personal business or outbursts.
    Lisa and Ken deserve huge kudos for standing up for what’s logically fair.

    Mauricio hasn’t any legal sense at all. The LAST action anyone should take in litigation is to contact the other party. That is for the attorneys ONLY.

    Also, HUGE legal point. Maloof only has a case, by law, IF there was malicious intent in exposing the truth, THAT is why he asked “WHY” over and over again. I smell a rat being coached by a Hoof.

      • mmm… i don’t understand how you can be sued for stating something that is true, which apparently it is. is the sueing about just f’ing with Brandi’s financial and emotional feng shui?

        • Since Ken clearly said it was true, and no one is actually denying it, I’m thinking that you are right about Adrienne’s intentions.

        • cr: Let’s keep in mind that there is NO lawsuit. There is a THREAT of a lawsuit… which is the usual MO for the Housewives to drum up drama. THe same drummed-up drama as last season’s RHOBH when it was Russell (RIP) v Camille! TFC!! SH

          • I just have a very hard time thinking of a smart business woman going to the expense of issuing a threat of this nature. Perhaps she’s never heard the adage, keep your friends close and you enemies closer. Adrienne is just really, really looking bad here.

    • Oh, good point about “malicious intent” what a snake. Also LOVE Mauricio is Faye without the wig!!!

  4. “Who wants dessert?” I would’ve asked for a couple big fat lemon meringue pies to rearrange Maurice’s and SWINE’s faces with.

  5. I didn’t think I could dislike anyone more than Trailor, but then Fayke showed up and moved to #1 pushing even Trailor to #2, THEN–unbelievably Maurice moves into spot #1. What is wrong with these “so-called” men attacking women. Maurice even went after Ken because—–he and Lisa have already purchased a new home so there isn’t a commission there however Addie (or since her middle name is Maude from here on I call her Maudie) anyway Maudie and Paul (the other man who attacks women) have a possibility of 3 score. Sell their home, Maudie buys a house and Paul buys his bachelor pad. Oh yes, he will be all over that. Snake oil anyone.

  6. So Funny!!! The Brandi Kyle confidence swap would be perfect. What the hell is wrong with Kyle? She so grosses me out!

  7. I was on the fence on Mauricio, but now I see, he’s a douche. He went on and on and on at Brandi, and Ken spoke up for her over and over but Mauricio couldn’t shut it. Mauricio, when Ken speaks, shut it. As for Swine Shana, she is still nauseating, but she was right, (gagg I can’t believe it), about Adrienne. Lawsuits among friends are only good for Adrienne, I guess.

    • TT1 aka SWINE/SHANA was 3 sheets to the wind….that’s why the whole hand holding thang’ with Brandi and Camille. Brandi needs to distance herself from TT1. A married man with 4 children dating your GF does NOT look good. Brandi also seems to drink to much when SWINE is around; also NOT a good look. Camille should also do herself a favor and just distance herself from TT1/SWINE/Shana…period.
      l too was annoyed at the whole Kyle and Yolanda asking “why, why” to Kim…in regards to the cleanse. MsSH is totally right; after many years of alcohol abuse, nutrients and vitamins absorbed from…. EATING food, ARE imperative for Kims body to heal! Shocked that Kyle or Yolanda would NOT Know this!. Vyle for the most obvious reason….Kim IS her sister. Yolanda because she professes to know so much about proper health, coupled by the fact that she too, DOES live in Beverly Hills Lol. Just a “little” surprised if Kim is the first recovering alcoholic she has ever known. I mean c’mon you do live in Southern California.Ha, ha!

      • I wonder if it’s possible that Kim is taking meds and therefore needs to eat? Nice of Kyle to push the point. Wish I had a sister like that

        • Kim already acknowledged, at the end of last season, that her doctors had her on some meds. It’s not uncommon for Dctrs to initially prescribe meds., when long term alcohol abuse has occurred. I’ve seen people who drink beer and wine gain weight, but the liquor drinkers…. skinny as heck.
          The more you learn, the more you understand. For one thing, Kim battled her drinking for years and years. Second, the preferred alcohol choice can make a big difference on the effect it has on the body.
          A wise Dctr. will monitor the meds, until they’re not needed anymore.

          • Yes, well the alcoholic I know drank vodka by the 1/2 gallon and gained a ton of weight, both from the booze and her poor eating habits when she did eat. So I suppose each person is different.

            • Perhaps the length of time one drinks makes a difference, but agreed every “body” can be affected differently.
              I use to visit a near & dear friend many years ago in rehab, and I was quite surprised by how thin some of those battling long term alcohol abuse were. One guy was only 24 years old. A really cute, sweet guy who had a passion for surfing. He had been hiding his vodka drinking since he was a teenager…really sad story. Anyway, I guess at some point he actually needed “it” to function normally. He ended up in rehab, because he had some liver cirrhosis and could no longer drink without getting sick, so he tried injecting it into his veins! I think he actually managed to for awhile.
              I still think about him, from time to time, and pray he survived and is living a happy life.

      • I didn’t notice Brandi over drinking, or drinking very much at all, and it looked like she was trying to ignore Taylor who kept drawing her back in.

        • At one point Brandi looked like “Why is this woman my bff?” She gave Swine the side eye a few times before she quietly said something to the person sitting on the other side. I hope Brandi doesn’t buy Swine’s mess. Brandi doesn’t need friends as much as Swine.

          • I don’t think she will – she looks pretty uncomfortable. Interesting how Taylor went from repeating the “I slept with every man in Beverly Hills” story for three episodes to supporting Brandi.

          • That wasnt the side eye. it was Brandi reading her script and wondering why Taylor went off. If I saw this gang coming I would run for the hills..Not Beverly. Bravo has tarnished the only show that had a chance to be more “classy” than other hw shows. It is like Atlanta with a bigger clothing and car budget.

        • I mean in general. TT1/SWINE is a lush IMO. I agree, Traylor always seems to be trying to drag Brandi into her deranged world. Traylor is the type who looks for a drinking buddy ‘cuz it makes her feel better about herself. I just think Brandi should stay away from Traylor trash.
          Traylor is dating a married man with 4 children. Kind of makes it hard to understand “why” she would be friends with TT1, given Brandi’s own experience with a cheatin’
          husband. Traylor is a manipulative drunk, AND a cheat…. with NO clue about being real!

          • That’s why I thought it was really weird when Taylor asked Lisa to find her a man….then going into her sob story. That chick definitely has issues, and personally I think her conscience is getting to her. I’m not saying she had anything to do with her husband’s death, but she knew all about his financial dealings, no matter what she tells everyone else.

            • I thought I was going to be sick when Traylor Trash asked Lisa that! If I thought Traylor HAD a conscience, maybe I might believe it was getting to her? LOL.

      • That hit me hard last night, too. I gave too much credit to YoFo for her health knowledge. This is the worst advice EVER for health! And, then to actually badger someone that is supposedly under doctor (hopefully) care and guidance. I was proud of Kim to stick to her guns and tell both intimidating women (to her) that she knew what she was suppose to do with her own health! This seems to be the key to her recovery; start listening to professionals and make her own decisions. Stop listening to everyone else and being pulled at both ends. Good Luck to Kim in her recovery cuz these women are not helping her at all. I was disgusted at their behavior when she invited them to Ojai and they boozed it up even more than usual like a big F-U to their hostess. I’d be looking for some new friends……

        • Actually, it seemed to me that Yolanda was simply displeased because she believed that Kim had accepted invitations to her home and not shown up. Kyle on the other hand, was playing 20 questions instead of simply letting Kim and her health lie. If it weren’t for the belly dancer, Kyle would have continued to interrogate her, and for no reason. Saying should couldn’t do the master cleanse should have been enough, but for someone who’s mother is a doctorate level psychologist, you’d think she’d know more about her sister and her limitations then she appears to.

        • I agree SH fan. It’s not like Kims battle has been for a short period of time. Someone in their 20′s or 30′s, or even someone who is older, but whose drinking has been a relatively short period of time, would probable bounce back fairly quickly. Kim is in her 40′s now and her struggle lasted for years. A persons body doesn’t just magically heal just because they were in rehab.
          I think the belief that a 40 something year old will recover physically quickly is, well…a bit ignorant. It’s sad Kyle, being a sister wouldn’t be more knowledgeable about the process.
          While I do like Yolanda, for the most part, I would of thought she had a better understanding of the body and metabolism. I guess I can understand if Yolanda has never had a reason to “know” about the havoc caused to someone’s body, especially in this particular type of case. However, it’s interesting to me someone like “Yo,” who has had the injections of cells from the fetus of a lamb, to help her body heal, and is all about a “cleanse” wouldn’t have a more rounded knowledge in general about health.
          I think Kims necessary and initial weight gain is important in the beginning, and will help her get stronger. Her body will learn to re-boot itself, after it levels out with the necessary nutrients an vitamins her body needs. Also wishing her all the best SH fan. :).

          • In Yolanda’s defense, I’m not sure how much she knows about Kim’s history in regards to how long she’s been dealing with her issues. Perhaps if Kim had been a little more open with her, although if it were me I wouldn’t have been because I don’t give personal details to people who are basically acquaintances., perhaps she would have better understood. Kyle simply doesn’t care, as far as I’m concerned.

            • That was kind of my point. Agreed, Yolanda probably doesn’t know about this type of “struggle” unless she had actually known someone who had gone thru it, which apparently she hasn’t.
              Also, no need for Kim to discuss any of it with someone she is only just getting to know. I think Kim says it best “while she is a public person, she is also a private person.” Remember, Kim didn’t start out on pseudo-reality; she was an actor in the public eye since she was a little girl. I don’t see actors in the same “light.” Actors put their work “on display” not their personal lives.
              I just think that in a “time” where So..many people battle alcoholism/addiction and going to rehab being so public now, people/media in general expect it to be “A quick fix.”

              • Just as a side note, my daughter and I watched WWTL last night, and she was wowed by just a sampling of the shows and movies Kim was in years ago. I had told her that Kim was everywhere when I was a kid, but I don’t think she really understood until then. I feel for Kim because of her lack of a childhood and a family life that was reportedly not so great, so I have a tendency to give her more latitude then I would otherwise.

              • And Bravo paired her with Tom Arnold. The only one missing was Amy Winehouse. Idiots. Maybe Charlie Sheen was busy!

          • I’m sorry, but I don’t think somebody who has the “cells from the fetus of a lamb” injected into their body is anybody that I want to be taking medical advice of any kind from.

  8. The hand holding was for the 3 single women minus Kim that did not have a man in their corner to go to bat for them/moral support.I would not want a douche bag in my corner if he acted like a man with a vagina.

    • Now remember, according to Mo his daughter’s all have brains, and therefore presumably they don’t require support. That was really a rather strange exchange, since I don’t think Mo got what Ken was saying to him, when he decided to open his mouth and fire back.

  9. SUR was another disaster tonight with drinking and the same stupid Stassi and Jax fighting over the homewrecker Scheona.They can just go outside and talk anytime they want to on their shifts.The back of the fake restaurant is junky and nasty looking with parking meters.Parking meters and a bicycle there not a vehicle.Mkaes no sense,I hope Lisa is not banking on this show being a hit so she can leave BH.The cast is awful and would be fired if all that was going on.Never a good idea to hire family or sleeping partners in a restaurant.This is worse or as bad as the fake Hills.Of course had to do a gaytheme to appease Miss Andy and bring on the gay wedding planner sha shing sha shing.Gross waste of T.V. time.

    • I like Lisa a lot but I don’t watch her restaurant show because it’s a “mistress” restaurant. With all the sympathy she gives to Brandi why would Lisa promote her restaurant as a place to bring your mistress? Tacky show from what I have gathered and a tackier staff.

      • Jeepers, it was a joke. She isn’t advocating anyone cheating on their spouse or significant other. While the show may be tacky, after watching the second episode, it is clearly meant for a younger audience. The question is whether or not the audience will head on over to Bravo. I guess we’ll see. My 18 year old, Jersey Shore fan likes it, so perhaps it will work.

        • I wonder if the Swedish princess Stassi’s mommy planned on naming her after the East German secret police, because it’s the perfect name for her.

  10. Couple things:

    1) Mary (Mauricio) snipes at Lisa “who cares” that she was accused of selling stories. Mary knows very damn well that if he was accused of selling stories he’d never get another listing again in his life. So, clearly, he’s just wanting to pick on Brandi and will fight anyone who gets in his way. He’s made a pretty penny of of knowing Lisa – his disloyalty is stunning.

    2) I believe the reason P&A wanted Brandi sign a piece of paper saying she’ll never talk about is because they couldn’t actually sue her for speaking the truth (whatever that truth may be). But being on a reality show with them, of course she will have to talk to them and that’s the “in” to sue her ’cause she signed something saying she wouldn’t.

    3) Mary is a man (well kinda), and has been in working in the real working world for many years. I’m sure he has gotten many letters from lawyers and I’m sure he did pick up the phone to solve the problems. Brandi doesn’t have that life experience and she was feeling (I believe) uncertain of her footing and afraid she would make matters worse. This is completely understandable and the situation is completely different since Mary’s legal issues were no doubt about business – real estate deals – and Brandi’s legal issues are not.

    5) Kim picking on Brandi that she always says mean things (Mary said so as well in a previous episode), just kills me. If you attack someone like Kyle and KIm did on “game night” you’re kind of provoking someone. You get what you deserve when you’re mean. But NO ONE wants to admit those girls were horrible that night. Awful. Honestly, I would have slapped them both. The mere words “your a meth addict” are nothing more than words spoken at the heat of the moment. And frankly, I’m a little tired of hearing how horrible it was. It wasn’t all that horrible. And it wasn’t too far from the truth.

    6) Kyle needs to stop pushing her sister. She needs to learn to take a hint and back off. She also might want to think about the possibility that Kim’s drinking is not about her. She wants an apology for how difficult Kim’s drinking has been on her. What makes her think that she’s not part of the reason that she was drinking in the first place?

    7) I was completely shocked by the careless and abusive way Ken handled the impatients. That is not the way to transplant and I doubt the poor buggers made it through the week unless a real gardener was dispatched immediately to rectify the situation. Shocking :)

    • He sold Lisa’s house, and therefore made money off of her just as he did Adrienne, yet he’s decided Adrienne’s more important to him? That was a slap to Lisa and Ken’s face, and he’s not going to forget it.

      • Maudie (ad) is renting a house at the present. Haven’t seen anything about where Paul is living but I am pretty sure he is going to try to be selling each one a home to make big commissions, that’s why he is being such an arrogant pig.

        • Anything for a buck so he can keep his wife in handbags and his 16 year old daughter in Benz’s. CLASSY.

        • Of course he is, but I suspect that since the Maloof finances on on the down slide right now, Adrienne might not be buying a new one anytime soon. They’ll make money off the sale of the team, but who knows just how big their debts are at this point. Kinda feels like Adrienne is taking her business frustrations out on Brandi sometimes.

      • Not only did he sell Lisa’s house, but as I understand it, Lisa introduced him to Mohammad who is a developer of really ugly, vulgar and expensive houses. As I understand it, he also developed the Ritz Carlton downtown – the listing that was the site of his party a few weeks ago where Mo tried to sell a unit to Camille.

    • I agree on all points and especially no. 5. The apalling way they treated Brandi that night in NO WAY compares to retaliating with, “your a meth addict”. I so wish someone would speak up and sort them out on that one! They were absolutely HORRID to that girl!

      • Too bad Lisa wasn’t present, because since no one else is willing to bring it up, Kim and especially Kyle keep getting a free pass on that. They also trashed talked her at the party she invited them to (remember Taylor getting really, really drunk?) and even when they first met her. Kyle kept up the mean girl routine all season, and know acts like it was all Brandi’s fault.

      • Oh nooo, don’t you know meth head is the very worst thing you can call someone? You can hide crutches and say, “You’re a G..damn b.tch”, but “meth head” is worse! Lol. I think instead of using the B word, I am just gonna call people meth head from now on, it seems to be more effective. lol

    • Wow. You are perfectly right on in every part of that.

      But I wanted to add
      8) Trailor was seriously drunk last night. You could tell both Camille and Brandi were like WTF?

    • Doris: Very well thought out. My problem with Dim-Kim is that she’s continually on a loop about the “meth head” comment. If it was false, she should have laughed it off. If it was true, then STFU now. Her hands aren’t clean. SHE insulted Brandi first AND hid her crutches making it impossible for Brandi to leave. Yet, SHE has never apologized to Brandi. I find that more unforgivable than having the wrong substance sited. Maurice has morphed into a sanctimonious fool. While he sat on his high horse, delivering his pronouncements, Vyle kept chewing her cud, without missing a beat. That juxtaposition was funny.

  11. Brandi should countersue. Ad must’ve trash talked Brandi’s parenting to Eddie, an associate, social services, a tabloid. It makes no sense for Brandi to say something heavy enough to get her in a lawsuit unless she Ad provoked her. It probably doesn’t take much to provoke Brandi.
    Maurice Sandy Panties is gross-pouring fire on something that’s not his business, then saying it’s stupid to discuss it. Good of him to admit he’s stupid. I bet he’ll regret pissing off Ken and Lisa. I hope everyone saw Kyle was mum instead of saying she asked Brandi her and Ad. Kyle is nobody’s friend-not even her sister’s. If Swine must speak, she should stop talking about herself so much, how she relates to every situation-no matter what it is, Swine has been there.
    What’s up with Kim’s life coach? Was that a southern accent? Did he cook his brain? I’m glad he pointed out people seem different because she’s “sober.”

    • Well, you might be on to something. Adrienne did verbally attack her at Mo’s event, and said some pretty nasty things about drug use and bad parenting….and it’s on tape. I suppose if she wanted to, she could counter sue, and force them to sign an agreement that they will not speak of her again. Then again, she and Paul and made up, so all of this seems really stupid anyway. Adrienne’s a business woman. Surely she’s heard worse about her family.

    • I can’t imagine saying that I didn’t think a loved one would remain sober. I’ve been there with someone I loved, and supported her every step of the way, and even stopped drinking myself for years after she got sober. I thought it was about support and starting anew, but apparently Kyle didn’t get that memo.

      • clearly she didn’t. when kim had her holiday in ojai, Kyle should of not drunk, showing kim you can have a good time with out drinking. kyle does seem very distant, she can’t use the old rationale that ‘my sister is off her head so i am right’ i think kyle might be a little fearful of sober kim. what kyle has done to kim over the seasons is horrible. she is like a mother and she constantly tried to humilate her in front of people, the hawaii trip was terrible. i don’t blame kim for being resentful at kyle, she has been a super bitch to her. the hard thing is that it hard for kim, even when she spoke to her life coach about how fkd kyle is he automatically put it on kim becauswe she was drinking when is actual fact kim has every right to be pissed at kyle.

        • I think so too. Kyle is just a very self centered person, and I think she enjoys rubbing it into Kim that she’s now the one on top financially and not her.

          • I thought Kyle was hedging her bets. She wants to be right every time. If Dim-Kim stays sober, that’s great. If she doesn’t, then Kyle would not be surprised.

  12. Brandi is still in love with Eddie. It was obvious when she said, “He told me I was pretty everyday” or something that she doesn’t believe anybody can make her feel that good again-and that’s sad.

    • Of course she’s still in love with him. He was her husband and the relationship ended badly, without any real closure. If she is really in therapy with Eddie and LeAnn, perhaps she is getting that closure now. I think she’ll find someone when she’s ready to, but I think too often women jump into new relationships for security before ever mentally ending their previous relationship. For this reason, I think Brandi has her head in the right place, and is going to take the time to move forward when the time is right for her.

    • I don’t think she’s still in love with him. I think she cherishes the good memories of their relationship. Being in love, starting a family, the uttered sweet nothings. It’s probably quite difficult to take in the fact that while she thought everything was perfect, he was having a long term affair. The two things don’t really gel. I think this would make you doubt everything – is anything as it seems?

    • Kim looks like she has put on some weight since rehab. Perhaps from eating better now that meals aren’t Stoli and olives. It was my impression that eating more nutritiously as part of her continued sobriety is why she didn’t want to “cleanse” with YoFo and the wicked step-sister.

      • absolutely that’s the reason. your brain needs food to function properly. as kim is in early recovery she needs to make her life easy, she would already have so much stuff going on, starving her brain of nutrients is just stupid. can these women not see that??

  13. Lol, preach it y’all!!! Great re-cap, and agree with each and every one of you, couldn’t add a thing, where are those dancing smilies when you need ‘em???? Ding dong the witches are dead, and the world will soon be safe again from these insufferable fools!!! Thanks for existing you all, I am starting to be able to believe the good guys might actually win after all!! Now if we could just get someone to explain to Brandi (love me some Brandi while knowing she’s not perfect, lol!) that quittin’ that twitter thang with LRimes would be the quickest way to squash her, all would be right with the world. Lee Ann would just crumble to pieces if Brandi kept her out of her tweets (while dealing with any real concerns about kid’s safety etc. in court) because after a coupla months at most of dead silence LR would look ridiculous to her own fans if she uttered Brandi’s name. And she and her hate would become totally irrelevant. And that would destroy her. The End. Back to bed now with visions of smilies dancing in my head!

  14. Two questions: Who was the woman at a Camille dinner party one season who was smoking an electronic cig and was totally obnoxious and pretending to be a psychic? She really pissed me off and now I can’t even remember who she was.
    Wasn’t that Eddie I saw playing a fire fighter on an episode of Hot in Cleveland?

  15. Can we make a drinking game out of Maurizero’s use of the word ‘amaaazing’?
    Every friggin episode.
    Tonight it was his daughters with amaaazing brains.

  16. So many wrong things, were to begin? Maybe Kim owes Kyle an apology for part of her 12 step program; but I think Kyle owes her bigger apologies for throwing her under the bus so many times. Nice dinner……I don’t know about the rest of you and yes it’s part of the show, but when I get together with friends for dinner it should be fun and light hearted, no drama; Traylor talking about her dead husband and still throwing him under the bus, trying to lead the single lady pack and making a fool out of herself. I am sick of Brandi and her mouth, and poor her how long do we have to hear about how single she is and no one to protect her and Lisa indicating how poor she is and she has nothing to be sued for…blah, blah, blah. Brandi must be poor, can’t afford a Bra! My thought, Lisa and Ken sitting there so smug; it’s a bit irritating my thinking Lisa was the Master Mind behind Brandi becoming so hostile towards Adrienne. Do we still know the real motive on why Brandi said what she said? (We don’t know exactly what was said) Why doesn’t Kyle ever stick up for her sister? Traylor and Brandi started to go after Kim, I was glad that YoFo stood up for Kim and Traylor backed off. Another lovely dinner with BH!

  17. I just have to say how stoopid and ridiculous Vyle looked in the belly dancing scene when she was twirling her horse hair around over her head. She is obsessed with her hair. I have never in my life seen anything like it.

  18. I like that the restaurant wasn’t authentic enough for Her Beigeness. I guess she wanted some real sheeps eyeballs to nosh on to go with the fetal lamb cells that she has injected into her body.

    • OMG I have tears streaming down my face. You guys are on fire tonight. Aunt loved her Beigeness comment. When beigeeeee said balls i never heard it sound so vulger, must be the accent. Wow what a suprise Bravo, a vow renewal on a hw unique. Time for Bravo to mix up the wives. Send Caroline to bh, Vicki to Miami( she loves foreigners) Taylor to nj, Romona to Atlanta etc…

      • First time I have ever commented & it’s because of you jeanbean; about YoFo & her saying balls, that has compelled me to do it!!!! You said exactly what I was thinking, but couldn’t properly express & you made me have an asthma attack from laughing!!!! Totally worth it;) thanks for the giggles!!!!

  19. First of all, I love, love, love these recaps, and really enjoy the comments. Thank you! Was it my imagination, or were there murmurings between Lisa and Brandi about Brandi living in her guest house soon? My immediate thought was, a new “Cedric” rescue type project for Lisa. I love Lisa, and hope her investment in Brandi doesn’t bite her later…

  20. “Cleanses” are such bs. Yofo just needs to do a colonoscopy prep and her insides will shine like a new penny. Oh, btw, the human body doesn’t manufacture “toxins.” Again, bs. And Sandi, I do wish you would restart the Goop blog. With the possible exception of the Donald, a more self-loving piece of work I have never heard of than Paltrow.

  21. Great recap, Sandy! I agree with your choice of words to put in Parentheses. Dim Kim’s brain is so soggy, that she completely forgot the wicked things SHE said to Brandi on the horrible game night of hurling insults. I can’t stand listening to the slowest talker in the West as Dim Kim’s wheels slowly turn when she oozes out a half thought. Vyle was flinging her hair as only she can. Her “man” is twerp and needs to stop giving his uninformed opinion. Ken won my heart.

    • Personally, I think it was Kim’s way of showing Kyle and Mo that she wants to be back in their good graces. She seems to forget that she accepted Brandi’s very heartfelt apology in Ojai, when they hugged it out in the bathroom.

  22. Sandy, your recaps are the best. my favourite line is: ‘i know this because…’ keep them coming. you never disappoint!!

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