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JACQUELINE LAURITA: Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!!!.. BubbaJax IS The “STOOPIDEST Housewife” of 2013!!!

stoopid

The wait is over!  

Jacqueline Laurita was voted “Stoopidest Housewife of 2013″ last month by an overwhelming majority of SH readers.

jax four

Before we can turn over the OFFICIAL honor to BubbaJax for being SH’s “Stoopidest Housewife 2013″… we must say bye-bye to last year’s winner, Cynthia Bailey!

Cynthia was very happy when she heard the news of being crowned 2012 STOOPIDEST HOUSEWIFE!  See how happy she looks!?

We tried to contact Mrs. Thomas in the hopes that she would personally transfer the title, along with the official sash, scepter and crown, of “StoopidestHousewife” to the “2013 Stoopidest Housewife”… BubbaJaxLaurita!  

Ms. Bailey is said to have uttered these words after being told of the request:  

They want me to WHAT?  If Tina Fey says those New Jersey Housewives are sub-human, I ain’t goin’ near none of ‘em!  I ain’t gettin’ their cooties…

 

texting

We tried to contact BubbaJax by every means possible, beginning electronically… email, text message, twitter… to alert her of the good news!!

We waited for BubbaJax’ response. BubbaJax decided to ignore the messages!

FedEX

UPS

SOOOOOO… we FedEx’d, UPS’d and finally sent her a plain ol’ letter letting her know that SHE was the chosen one this year!

USMail

BubbaJax musta refused the FedEx and the UPS packages sent… and prolly ripped up the letter.  How rude!!

how rude

The disappointment and frustration in pursuit of contacting BubbaJax was simply too much to bear.

Therefore, we will have to proceed with the elaborate induction ceremony into the coveted halls of the “SH Stoopidest Housewife”using a replica of BubbaJax in photo form.

    rhonj jax

BUT… first, let’s review the many reason WHY BubbaJax has been given this illustrious honor!

RHONJ Jax Jacket pg

  • Jac-a-loon (allegedly) scamming Komen to the tune of $18 million and believing it would go unnoticed.

Jax Laurita Columbo pg

  • Jac-a-loon twambling pics of her organized pantry whilst people are without power and shelter following Hurricane Sandy.

jax tweet sandy

  • Jac-a-loon twambling about washing private parts, how only four of their rooms have generators and to look on the bright side following Sandy.

jax 10,000 tweets

NOTE:  BubbaJax should be honored even MORE for attaining that 10,000 tweet level… in less than two days!!

jax tweet getting it done jax tweet ASL

jax tweet sandy  jax tweets jax tweets jax tweets

  • Here’s to all of your nut job tweets, fake sleeping antics, immature behavior, Teresa bashing, Chuckie ass kissing, BLK water promoting, Botox injections, lawsuits, and lies……without them you would never hold this title! Wear it well honey, make us proud! We know you will!

jax sleeping

  • Jax thinking we want any of her “expert” beauty secrets considering the woman’s “beauty” is a product of fillers and botox (way too much IMO) and she has 10 neck rolls.

Jax Laurita Neck SH WM

  • Jax is stoopid because she doesn’t know what scrapbooking is. (She claims to love it but I’ve never seen her do it.)

jax scrapbooking

  • Jax is stoopid because she let herself be filmed grabbing a bottle of Baileys to doctor her morning coffee while skyping about her daughter with her ex.

Jax Ashlee SH WM

  • Cornering a 10 year old girl, (who was smart enough to walk away) and forcing her to listen to your drunk, condescending ramblings; while YOU read a book on “how to be a good sport.” Adding a little coffee to your Baileys at 10 a.m. so you could whine, to your ex-husband, about your own daughter.
  • Attacking Teresa about the tabloids, as you snuggle up in bed with ‘RadarOnLines own Tom Murro.’ Being a NO show at the season 3 reunion, claiming you were having a break down, because you were getting drunk with KimG at her house! Intertwining autism, while peddling BLK as a cure all. Ripping off a cancer foundation. Last but certainly not least…to ALL those infamous Tweets…
  • That scene with Jax “Bullying ‘Gia’ a 10 year old girl” is STILL one of the most upsetting scenes for me, I’ve ever watched! She’s is a little kid….shame on wacko-Jacko! Same goes for Don Caro.

jax book

  • Just looking at her is irritating.
  • Jacaloon pointing her bloated, alcohol induced edema finger at Juicy and saying, “I hope you go to jail” when she and her husband are facing fraud and perjury charges themselves was a jewel of stoopidity in her crowning glory of stoopid.

RHONJ Jax pg

  • Her ridiculous tweeting is reason enough.

jax secret man

  • She would have to thank her local bodega and other purveyors of alcohol, her pharmacist and her pill pimping MD, not to mention her parents and the twisted upbringing she must have had. Oh, and Chris for rescuing her from a life in the flesh trade to make all of this possible.

rhonj jax drinking NOT black water  Is that the black crap BubbaJax is drinkin’??  Why not?!!

  • Because a vote for her is a cure for autism, I heard.

jax tweet exercise

  • Because of her twitter drunk twitter rants! That trumps all her HW actions.

jax kid

  • Congratulations Looney, you beat everyone by a mile. Just shut your mouth about Autism because you ain’t no expert and you are scamming all those people who love you to death. What delusional people they are. Have a good reign.

jax botox truck pg

  • Jax deserves Stoopidest Housewife title because her brain is now the size of raisin thanks to Botox and fillers. That’s right Jaxass injectabales are not your friend.

RHONJ Jax jackhole pg

1. Trying to convince us that she met Chris in Chicago as a “convention model”(what the heck is a convention model anyhow?)
2.Pretending to be asleep during the big throw down between Teresa and Caroline after she passive agressivly instigated the whole thing to begin with.
3.Letting Bravo dub in Nicholas saying “I love you” when Ashlee left the house for good and then showing up at the reunion saying that he can’t say those words any longer. (that wasn’t just stoopid that was sick)

4. Screaming “I hope you go to jail” to Joe Gudice.                                                          5.Having a xanax and bailyes fuled breakdown because Teresa wouldn’t tell her about Teresa and Joe’s legal problems. (huh??)

6. Torturing us with pompous, rambling,hypocritcal,nonsensical tweets.

Jax tweets

7.Pretending she was never a stripper.
8.The alarming and disgusting amount of plastic surgery she continues to have.
9. Behaving as if her bankruptcy is a normal endgame to a failing buisness and glossing over the amount of greed and deceit that is involved in it.
10.Using her baby’s Autism as a storyline!

Reasons for my belief that Jacquelyn is stoopid:

  • One, she exploits her children for her own personal desires. It is a law of nature to PROTECT your children and anyone who fights against the laws of nature is stupid.
  • Two, she lets her imagination run wild, creating plots and scenarios that are not real but yet believes them to be real. She will then expect that everyone else will just jump aboard and believe her nonsense.
  • Three, she allows other people to manipulate her and she takes on their point of views without thinking about it and coming to her own conclusions.
  • Four, instead of dealing with her life she sits and cries and waits for others (husband, sister-in-law) to interject themselves and fix things for her.
  • Five, she thinks the more she has to say and the louder that she is the more people will believe her story.

Jax Johnnie Cochran pg

  • I will end with this. I think Jacquelyn DOES have a good heart. However, when you don’t think for yourself and allow others to manipulate you it doesn’t matter what your heart condition is. This is probably where Jacquelyn fairs largest in the stoopid category. She has the potential to be a wonderful person but whether it is through her own mind or someone else’s, she manages to suck the good right out of herself. She allows delusions or twisted points of views to overcome her natural good nature. How stupid is THAT!

xanax Jax Xanax

  • I voted for the despicable Xanjax as Stoopidest Housewife simply because SHE thinks we, the viewers and fans, ARE STOOPID.

An Ode to BubbaJax:

May your tweets ever be loony,
May your wine bottle never run dry,
Perhaps one day you shall see the light,
When pigs finally learn to fly!!!

So long, screw ‘ya,
See you in St. Lou-ya!

  • If she reads about this award, do you think she could figure out why she “won”? Seriously doubt she’d have a clue.

rib guy

Unfortunately for BubbaJax, the coveted crown, scepter and sash which she was to proudly wear was mistakenly delivered via FedEx to some guy who makes BBQ ribs!!  We are just happy to know that the BBQ guy just loves his regalia!

Screen Shot 2013-01-14 at 1.27.09 PM                                                                                                  I’m the UPS guy… I love this stuff!!!

BUT… not to worry, BubbaJax!!  We’ll be makin’ YOU a brand new set of custom-made pageant winnin’ stuff!   We’ll be sendin’ it UPS… again!  And this time, hope it gets delivered!!

AGAIN… Congratulations to the NEW “StoopidestHousewife” 2013…

jax laurita

BubbaJax Laurita!!!

(A HUGE ThankYOU to all the SH readers who contributed the reasons as to WHY BubbaJax received the coveted title of “StoopidestHousewife”!!!)

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116 comments on “JACQUELINE LAURITA: Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!!!.. BubbaJax IS The “STOOPIDEST Housewife” of 2013!!!

  1. Happy to know my vote counted!! She never had any competition IMO. What a dunce Jac is..leaving trails of idiotic DMs to many of us on Twitter (before blocking us) as well as her well documented public Twitter meltdowns LOL.Wear your crown proudly Jac you earned it.

    • Mean is screwing people with breast cancer outta money so that a person can have botox, fillers and a lavish lifestyle. That’s what Jax hubby has done (allegedly).

      • ^^^This was in response to a post that was poofed (for good reason). I promise I’m not going Kenya craaaaazy.

      • Mean is throwing your daughter under the bus and treating her like trash just so Mommy Dearest can have a career on RH.

      • That day on SH we listed reasons why: Jac-a-loon deserves to be Crowned “Stoopidest housewife” of the year, because….. was a blast!!

      • ChemGeek is soooo right, you gotta be kidding us resolute2012, think about it. Do you really think someone who thinks that it’s okay to (allegedly, even though there are court documents) steal money from people who now have had their breast cancer treatments delayed or cannot get them at all so that these people can continue their adding to their luxuries would even have the capacity to understand suffering? They even waited for months to get health treatment for their own son because they were waiting for insurance to kick in, but had money for new cars, trips, lotsa wine, botox etc. and didn’t mind showing the world. There is no shame in holding up these people to the light, just shame in being them.

  2. Well deserved, jac… Congratulations…
    Now take care of that neck problem, which one do you use when you wear a necklace? Must be hard to wash, so many folds!

      • LOL Made, at least mamma Junes is smooth… But I can’t help but think there has to be some kind of critter in hers… Neck crumbs or something…

          • I don’t watch that show… But I might now! I seen them on a talk show, I think it was coopers show… I do believe that was the last time I watched him…I can’t wait until he is off, I can’t stand him since he rips Teresa, and kisses that mandi bum… I think he went down from there… No respect,for him…

            • Yeah I have no respect for him either. Trashy talk show. Not honey boo boo that is trashy too BUT at least they are out there with it not trying to cloak themselves in an air of “journalistic integrity” when the truth is Cooper wouldn’t know what a real journalist was if it fell out of the sky landed on his face and started to wiggle.

      • OMG, neck crust… Ana I have never watch that show, but it looks like that show could be funny… Thanks for the laugh… :)

  3. Congrats BubbaJax (when you read this – because we all know you will)… couldn’t have happened to a nicer gal.

  4. Bubba really needs to lay off that botox because imo she already looks chinese and that is NOT a good look. Does she think this is a good look? Delusional!

    • Looking Chinese isnt a good look, wonder how chinese people think about that.
      I think she looks fine and she dosnt look asian at all,

      • Looking chinese is fine if you are chinese but NOT a good look on an american. The more botox your face gets the more puffy your eyes look…..NOT good.

          • On this post alone a viewer can track the progression of her botox/surgeries/cosmetic procedures. Her eyes just loo bizarre as if they are resting on the side of her face and pulled up at the corners and stretched towards her hair line. Why do women jack their faces up like this. Jax was an attractive woman now she looks …..unnatural.

            • Anyone who alters their appearance to such an extent and so disastrously must have some sort of mental disorder. I think plastic surgeons doing these procedures on people like this are unethical.

              • ITA Ana. Instead of encouraging them to have more and more even drastic procedures Drs. should advise them to stop. I can’t imagine the depth of insecurity and low self esteem that propels not just Jax but so many others to desecrate the beauty that God gave them. Trying to recapture your youth or have some minor repair work is one thing but this resembles a Star Trek character.

        • My best friend is Japanese and I had she wore tape to make her eyes larger. We laughed about it because I thought she was beautiful the way she was. She said ALL Japanese and Chinese women ware 2sided tape so their eye’s look larger. She said she has been doing it since she was young and now she’s turning 67 tomorrow, and still does it. We have a few years between us but she loves hanging with me and I don’t even notice the age difference. Happy Birthday Yoko

      • My Nieces are Hawaiian/Irish and American to boot ! It really is a beautiful combination, Red hair, freckles, pale skin and beautiful Asian features. Both girls look so exotic.

    • I was thinking the same thing. look at her in the photo of Nicholas and her. He’s adorable, btw. looks like his dad.

  5. Congrats Bubba. You wear the stoopid well. I hope you keep your private parts cleaner than ya do those funky neck rolls.

      • Well Candace ya never can tell booze and xanax might be a recipe for amnesia. After she advised all her twitterer followers to wash their private areas I wanted to scream. Really Jax really? You go first Bubba and start with the neck rolls cuz if they are grimey they aint fresh so probably her nether regions could use a good scrubbin. Bitchy Richie can follow up with sniff test.

  6. xanax 2.0!!!
    Oh Jax that’s the mega dose baby!
    Please if you do have substance abuse issues consider Betty Ford or like places-hey it’s not shameful it’s really something to take pride in to take action to fix your problems (allegedly).

  7. Congratulations Jacalooser, I couldn’t imagine a Stoopider Housewife to give this award too. You definately earned your title. I know you are reading this and I just want you to know that the list of reasons right under the Jackhole picture are MINE! Because of all those reasons I will not be watching your show next season. When RHONJ goes down the tubes and gets canceled please rember you heard it hear first, IT’S YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Last winter our whole town (very small, less than 600 people, lol!) lost electricity during a snowstorm, it was out for 5 days. Exercised for 120 hrs. straight. Those of us that survived are still amazingly buff, we are now a town of gorgeously overly muscled freakozoids. People come from all around just to see us walk around town! Just think what a town that has suffered such horrible devastation as Jac’s could do with that! H*ll they could become so strong they could rebuild their own homes, and feed themselves by beating down Jac’s doors and raiding her pantry, as well as all her “friends”/fans and families’.And when all is restored peeps would come from all around and just to drool at their fabulousity. Why they’d be world famous! Then they could spend the rest of their days drunk tweeting, robbing charities, bullying other’s little kids while exploiting their own just like Jac does! She’s a wonderful humanitarian and very unselfishly wants to bring others into the fold and show them how it’s done. Why all the hate ??? Glad to know my vote counted too.

          • Good Lord, meant you actually made the post funny, not that you were actually funny for once! I sure hope the reason for my posting paranoia can be blamed on the meds–driving me & prolly anyone that reads ‘em mad. Will find out day after tommorrow…in the meantime thanks for being brave enough to respond Shelagh5 :-)

            • If you are on pain medication and/or muscle relaxants, paranoia can definitely be a side effect. This too shall pass :)

              • A lot of medications can cause paranoia. Last night I was trying to sleep and felt paranoid about someone breaking into my home. Certain cold/flu symptom medications do that to me.

              • Thanks ChemGeek, it helps to know it really could be that, it’s really kind of you to share! My daughter thinks so too, because I don’t act that way in rl. She’s the one I always mention ’cause the rest are grown and out of the house (she’s 17). But from the time I got divorced years ago, I always slept in the livingroom so I would hear if someone broke in and I could protect the kids, so um yeah, some paranoia I guess! The thing is I started sleeping there so long ago that I never think about it anymore it’s just habit. Until the occasional days I think about making a bedroom my own lol! Haven’t made it even when I tempt myself with all those lovely bed covers and decorator pillows that you can find everywhere now :-) I’m glad you only worry when you take certain medications, but I’m sorry that it happens then. Thanks again ChemGeek! Oh lol, yes they are pain pills, I fell down the basement stairs last week and broke my left arm and leg. Okay, book writin’ over too, will add that to the ever-growing list :-)

            • I know what you meant Linda… I found your first post hilarious.. I just wanted to add my two cents to it… Good luck with the meds… I think they are working just fine… ;)

              • Thanks Shelagh5!!! Veeery lucky for you I just wrote a book to ChemGeek (bet she’s wishing I saw your post first!) so just know I really, really appreciate it!

  9. Thank you Ms.SH for the biggest laugh I’ve had in a long time. Jacaloon won the title hands down, she had no real competion. Enjoy your reign loonie you may enjoy some of it from you prison cell. You threw you youngest child under the bus to be scared for the rest of his life. That is one thing you can not erase you looney bird. :-)

  10. Poor gal is rocking the Sharpei dog look. The neck rolls are crazy! I’ve never seen anything like them.

    Maybe she could use helpful hints on how to remove those.

    • Congratulations Jac-a-loon, NO one deserves that crown more than you!!!
      I eggmit I took some glee in recognizing a “cough” familiar comment :). Wear it well wacko-Jaco…Wear it well! Keep up the good work and you may not even have to pass it on next year.

  11. Ode to Jacq-O
    With Botox streaming through her head,
    And a wine glass filled with something red,
    She sits before her laptop keys;
    And tweets just like a gentle breeze,
    When a new thought pops into her brain;
    She uses twitter to explain,
    Proving after all her tweets are read;
    There is only Botox in her head.

  12. Finally my wish came true! :D
    I will celebrate by nominating Adrienne Maloof for next year. She has made plenty of stoopid moves this year, to earn atleast a nomination. ;)

  13. The award could not have gone to a more deserving housewife. Jaqueline was clearly the hands down winner. I would live to be a fly in the walk when she reads this. I know I’m a little evil. Heh heh

  14. if Jac sees this she will prob debate it point by point on twitter! Can’t wait to hear her use the phrase “blame shifting” again! It was twitter diarrhea that put her over the top!

  15. Wow. That video where Caroline says that Tree is wrong for comforting Gia when she was upset infuriates me. Jacqueline’s drunken attempt at being a disciplinarian was nauseating. I can’t imagine poor Gia’s anger after having her aunt stick her tongue out at her and act like such a fool then having to deal with Caro and Jac’s BS. I am also still mad that they didn’t discuss this at the reunion. This was a HUGE hot topic. Okay enough bit&*^%ing- I am thrilled that Jac got the award! Take a bow, girl, you deserve it!!

    • Not too many bows, though. I have a hunch that hanging her head is the very thing causing all those mysterious neck rolls.

      • Haha! Someone on here (can’t remember who) had a really good theory that the rolls are some sort of result of all the botox and fillers she has had to her face.

    • They never discuss anything of relevance at the reunions, not the stuff viewers would like to see discussed and resolved.

    • Isn’t it amazing that Jacaloonie bin had no clue how to discipline her own child but had zero problem calling out , humiliating and chastising Gia. While hopelessly ineffectual with Ashley she managed to go all loony tunes on a 10 year old girl. Way to go Jaxass, indeed this dubious honor is especially we deserved.

      • Yes it is. Of all the crap she has pulled…selling out her own children and bullying a child she has known probably all of her life is the lowest of the low. I have banned myself from looking at her twitter because it serves no purpose other than angering me.

  16. LOL, you all would’ve knocked her straight off the internet period! She only wrote a few lines and was whiny about it too. Never saw that combination of insult/whiny before.

  17. Nearly fell outta my chair when I saw my wild-cherry-Pepsi-caffeine-high-infused Ode to BubbaJax again!!! Almost made me teary ;)…

  18. I don’t understand where Xanax gets the money for all this work she’s having done. She looks Asian as she gets more and more work done to her face and her neck is scary

  19. Congrats to Jacquelyn…. no one deserves this honor more, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart… I’m so happy for her. :p

  20. Good hearted? No way. And for the very reasons you listed. A Mother protects and defends her children – and all children. How she used her daughter for a story line is inexcusable, ditto bullying Gia. What I fear she is about to use/exploit Nicholas for to stay relevant. Abhorrent.

    As a matter of fact, the only redeemable action I’ve ever hear of Xanjax doing – punching Caroline in the face!

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