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JACQUELINE LAURITA: Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!!!.. BubbaJax IS The “STOOPIDEST Housewife” of 2013!!!

stoopid

The wait is over!  

Jacqueline Laurita was voted “Stoopidest Housewife of 2013″ last month by an overwhelming majority of SH readers.

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Before we can turn over the OFFICIAL honor to BubbaJax for being SH’s “Stoopidest Housewife 2013″… we must say bye-bye to last year’s winner, Cynthia Bailey!

Cynthia was very happy when she heard the news of being crowned 2012 STOOPIDEST HOUSEWIFE!  See how happy she looks!?

We tried to contact Mrs. Thomas in the hopes that she would personally transfer the title, along with the official sash, scepter and crown, of “StoopidestHousewife” to the “2013 Stoopidest Housewife”… BubbaJaxLaurita!  

Ms. Bailey is said to have uttered these words after being told of the request:  

They want me to WHAT?  If Tina Fey says those New Jersey Housewives are sub-human, I ain’t goin’ near none of ‘em!  I ain’t gettin’ their cooties…

 

texting

We tried to contact BubbaJax by every means possible, beginning electronically… email, text message, twitter… to alert her of the good news!!

We waited for BubbaJax’ response. BubbaJax decided to ignore the messages!

FedEX

UPS

SOOOOOO… we FedEx’d, UPS’d and finally sent her a plain ol’ letter letting her know that SHE was the chosen one this year!

USMail

BubbaJax musta refused the FedEx and the UPS packages sent… and prolly ripped up the letter.  How rude!!

how rude

The disappointment and frustration in pursuit of contacting BubbaJax was simply too much to bear.

Therefore, we will have to proceed with the elaborate induction ceremony into the coveted halls of the “SH Stoopidest Housewife”using a replica of BubbaJax in photo form.

    rhonj jax

BUT… first, let’s review the many reason WHY BubbaJax has been given this illustrious honor!

RHONJ Jax Jacket pg

  • Jac-a-loon (allegedly) scamming Komen to the tune of $18 million and believing it would go unnoticed.

Jax Laurita Columbo pg

  • Jac-a-loon twambling pics of her organized pantry whilst people are without power and shelter following Hurricane Sandy.

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  • Jac-a-loon twambling about washing private parts, how only four of their rooms have generators and to look on the bright side following Sandy.

jax 10,000 tweets

NOTE:  BubbaJax should be honored even MORE for attaining that 10,000 tweet level… in less than two days!!

jax tweet getting it done jax tweet ASL

jax tweet sandy  jax tweets jax tweets jax tweets

  • Here’s to all of your nut job tweets, fake sleeping antics, immature behavior, Teresa bashing, Chuckie ass kissing, BLK water promoting, Botox injections, lawsuits, and lies……without them you would never hold this title! Wear it well honey, make us proud! We know you will!

jax sleeping

  • Jax thinking we want any of her “expert” beauty secrets considering the woman’s “beauty” is a product of fillers and botox (way too much IMO) and she has 10 neck rolls.

Jax Laurita Neck SH WM

  • Jax is stoopid because she doesn’t know what scrapbooking is. (She claims to love it but I’ve never seen her do it.)

jax scrapbooking

  • Jax is stoopid because she let herself be filmed grabbing a bottle of Baileys to doctor her morning coffee while skyping about her daughter with her ex.

Jax Ashlee SH WM

  • Cornering a 10 year old girl, (who was smart enough to walk away) and forcing her to listen to your drunk, condescending ramblings; while YOU read a book on “how to be a good sport.” Adding a little coffee to your Baileys at 10 a.m. so you could whine, to your ex-husband, about your own daughter.
  • Attacking Teresa about the tabloids, as you snuggle up in bed with ‘RadarOnLines own Tom Murro.’ Being a NO show at the season 3 reunion, claiming you were having a break down, because you were getting drunk with KimG at her house! Intertwining autism, while peddling BLK as a cure all. Ripping off a cancer foundation. Last but certainly not least…to ALL those infamous Tweets…
  • That scene with Jax “Bullying ‘Gia’ a 10 year old girl” is STILL one of the most upsetting scenes for me, I’ve ever watched! She’s is a little kid….shame on wacko-Jacko! Same goes for Don Caro.

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  • Just looking at her is irritating.
  • Jacaloon pointing her bloated, alcohol induced edema finger at Juicy and saying, “I hope you go to jail” when she and her husband are facing fraud and perjury charges themselves was a jewel of stoopidity in her crowning glory of stoopid.

RHONJ Jax pg

  • Her ridiculous tweeting is reason enough.

jax secret man

  • She would have to thank her local bodega and other purveyors of alcohol, her pharmacist and her pill pimping MD, not to mention her parents and the twisted upbringing she must have had. Oh, and Chris for rescuing her from a life in the flesh trade to make all of this possible.

rhonj jax drinking NOT black water  Is that the black crap BubbaJax is drinkin’??  Why not?!!

  • Because a vote for her is a cure for autism, I heard.

jax tweet exercise

  • Because of her twitter drunk twitter rants! That trumps all her HW actions.

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  • Congratulations Looney, you beat everyone by a mile. Just shut your mouth about Autism because you ain’t no expert and you are scamming all those people who love you to death. What delusional people they are. Have a good reign.

jax botox truck pg

  • Jax deserves Stoopidest Housewife title because her brain is now the size of raisin thanks to Botox and fillers. That’s right Jaxass injectabales are not your friend.

RHONJ Jax jackhole pg

1. Trying to convince us that she met Chris in Chicago as a “convention model”(what the heck is a convention model anyhow?)
2.Pretending to be asleep during the big throw down between Teresa and Caroline after she passive agressivly instigated the whole thing to begin with.
3.Letting Bravo dub in Nicholas saying “I love you” when Ashlee left the house for good and then showing up at the reunion saying that he can’t say those words any longer. (that wasn’t just stoopid that was sick)

4. Screaming “I hope you go to jail” to Joe Gudice.                                                          5.Having a xanax and bailyes fuled breakdown because Teresa wouldn’t tell her about Teresa and Joe’s legal problems. (huh??)

6. Torturing us with pompous, rambling,hypocritcal,nonsensical tweets.

Jax tweets

7.Pretending she was never a stripper.
8.The alarming and disgusting amount of plastic surgery she continues to have.
9. Behaving as if her bankruptcy is a normal endgame to a failing buisness and glossing over the amount of greed and deceit that is involved in it.
10.Using her baby’s Autism as a storyline!

Reasons for my belief that Jacquelyn is stoopid:

  • One, she exploits her children for her own personal desires. It is a law of nature to PROTECT your children and anyone who fights against the laws of nature is stupid.
  • Two, she lets her imagination run wild, creating plots and scenarios that are not real but yet believes them to be real. She will then expect that everyone else will just jump aboard and believe her nonsense.
  • Three, she allows other people to manipulate her and she takes on their point of views without thinking about it and coming to her own conclusions.
  • Four, instead of dealing with her life she sits and cries and waits for others (husband, sister-in-law) to interject themselves and fix things for her.
  • Five, she thinks the more she has to say and the louder that she is the more people will believe her story.

Jax Johnnie Cochran pg

  • I will end with this. I think Jacquelyn DOES have a good heart. However, when you don’t think for yourself and allow others to manipulate you it doesn’t matter what your heart condition is. This is probably where Jacquelyn fairs largest in the stoopid category. She has the potential to be a wonderful person but whether it is through her own mind or someone else’s, she manages to suck the good right out of herself. She allows delusions or twisted points of views to overcome her natural good nature. How stupid is THAT!

xanax Jax Xanax

  • I voted for the despicable Xanjax as Stoopidest Housewife simply because SHE thinks we, the viewers and fans, ARE STOOPID.

An Ode to BubbaJax:

May your tweets ever be loony,
May your wine bottle never run dry,
Perhaps one day you shall see the light,
When pigs finally learn to fly!!!

So long, screw ‘ya,
See you in St. Lou-ya!

  • If she reads about this award, do you think she could figure out why she “won”? Seriously doubt she’d have a clue.

rib guy

Unfortunately for BubbaJax, the coveted crown, scepter and sash which she was to proudly wear was mistakenly delivered via FedEx to some guy who makes BBQ ribs!!  We are just happy to know that the BBQ guy just loves his regalia!

Screen Shot 2013-01-14 at 1.27.09 PM                                                                                                  I’m the UPS guy… I love this stuff!!!

BUT… not to worry, BubbaJax!!  We’ll be makin’ YOU a brand new set of custom-made pageant winnin’ stuff!   We’ll be sendin’ it UPS… again!  And this time, hope it gets delivered!!

AGAIN… Congratulations to the NEW “StoopidestHousewife” 2013…

jax laurita

BubbaJax Laurita!!!

(A HUGE ThankYOU to all the SH readers who contributed the reasons as to WHY BubbaJax received the coveted title of “StoopidestHousewife”!!!)

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116 comments on “JACQUELINE LAURITA: Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!!!.. BubbaJax IS The “STOOPIDEST Housewife” of 2013!!!

  1. Nearly fell outta my chair when I saw my wild-cherry-Pepsi-caffeine-high-infused Ode to BubbaJax again!!! Almost made me teary ;)…

  2. I don’t understand where Xanax gets the money for all this work she’s having done. She looks Asian as she gets more and more work done to her face and her neck is scary

  3. Congrats to Jacquelyn…. no one deserves this honor more, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart… I’m so happy for her. :p

  4. Good hearted? No way. And for the very reasons you listed. A Mother protects and defends her children – and all children. How she used her daughter for a story line is inexcusable, ditto bullying Gia. What I fear she is about to use/exploit Nicholas for to stay relevant. Abhorrent.

    As a matter of fact, the only redeemable action I’ve ever hear of Xanjax doing – punching Caroline in the face!

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