I need a dentist… bad. My tooth is killin’ me.
We don’t have any of those people who work on teeth around here, Brandi… you’ll just have to live with the pain and sit through FayeRancid ranting about you until my dinner party is over.
Yes, Brandi… WE, meaning Kyle and I… do NOT and would NEVER know any of those who are lower in the medical chain… those dental people which you speak of. The people who put their hands in dirty mouths. So, why don’t you get with your own kind of people and maybe you’ll find a dentist among them. Go on, git out!
Oh, Brandi… I’m sure that all those old model friends of yours whose teeth fell out from smokin’ meth can help you find a good dentist. We just don’t know any of those kinda sub-medical people here…
Shana, you will be going directly to Hell. Yes, H-E-Double Toothpicks! And, you’ll be given extra time in H-E-DoubleToothpicks for havin’ the burglar balls to wear a holy rosary around your neck as jewelry.
Wash away my troubles, wash away my fears with the rain in Shana … Shama… Shamba… Sham-ba-la… OH! I feel some ThreeDogNight coming on! Let’s dance!!
Nice goin’, Kyle. You’re a real friend. There were THREE spots on that dumb diving show and I really wanted to show off my jumpin-in-the-shallow-part-of-the-pool skills.
Just shut up, Kyle. Hope you have a great time doin’ belly flops in front of a record low Neilsen ratings audience. I won’t be sending John Turturro any pocket listings out from under Rick Hilton from now on either.
If I was going to ask any of my sister/friends to fill the third spot, I would have had to choose between you and FayeRancid. I just couldn’t choose… I just couldn’t! Now you’re makin’ me cry, Marisa… well, I’m tryin’ to cry, anyway. LOOK… I almost have tears! But, I’m beggin’ you… keep sendin’ John those listings!
Hey! Lady!! YOU! In the lumpy dress, carrryin’ the old StellaMcCartney purse! YO! The meter maid is just about to ticket you!
Really, Lisa… did you HAVE to drag me here just to talk? I mean, I’m not made outta money like you and Adrienne. I’m not gonna buy anything here. I have to put gas in my car AND I have to pay for parking… that’s my $20 for the day. I mean, why couldn’t we shop at Kyle’s sister’s used dress emporium store?
Hasn’t that guy from ROL or the guy from InTouch called you yet? I’ve set you up with them to funnel them some stories. Notice I didn’t say “sell.”
I’m so confused. I thought Lisa was MY friend this season. She told ME that if I gave ROL and InTouch 20 stories, they’d give me a mini-Cooper. Now I don’t have a ring… or my phony Birkins… and now I don’t even have a damn crappy Cooper car. I hate Lisa.
No remarks about my handbag, Paul. NONE!
Adrienne… you know how I feel about your purses. They’re way too big for your little person body. I’m a doctor… I know how oversized purses can affect the height-challenged. You have shrunk three inches since 2010.
Bernie never complains about my purses…. and he never “accidentally” calls me “Amy Roloff”!
I look much better nude…I just do. In fact, I’m thinking of undressing right now…
I brought my married lawyer-boyfriend to dinner with me this time… hope you don’t mind the switcharoo, Kyle.
What happened to Dr. NoSocks??
He’s busy curing his thousands of clients… besides, I found out he was gay.
If I ever want to make it as an actress in Hollywood, I have to nail this performance. There are big-time agents watching… like Cedric.
Yes, Stassi… er Stacey…. er Shannon…. whatever your bloody name is, just remember the acting instructions I gave you. Look concerned, then wince a bit, make your lips tremble and then squeeze your knickers together until tears are produced. That’s how I learned to act for a “reality” show!
UH… Lisa… you gave me the exact acting lessons!
This is gonna be a contest to see which of us will use Lisa’s “knicker squeezin” technique first.
OH! I am SUCH a better actress than Brandi! I’m cryin’ first! I just knew I could act… I’m a REAL axtress!
OH! That chick ain’t out-actin’ ME! My knickers are squished… tears are flowing! Napkins are soaked!
I gotta leave you now, home wrecker. I gotta find Lisa’s pile of clean napkins to soak my acting tears. You will NEVER outcry me… NEVER! And… Cedric isn’t a big-time ACTING agent, he’s an insurance agent. Works for Allstate over on Robertson. Gotta go now… have a nice life.
Bravo has announced that they will no longer be using phony psychics, tarot readers, palm readers on their phony baloney “reality” shows… Bravo is now going with a proven approach…
I’m sure love potion no. 9 will be available on the official HW fan sites soon…
Love, love, love that song, so they won’t do it because it would improve the quality too much.
Love Potion No. 9…a trip down memory lane…wow!
Scl looks totally spooked in that last picture.
Yeah, that name’s a right mess. I keep wanting to call her sclera.
LOL Love it
You know, I just realized from the picture of Adrienne that she ALWAYS picks a terrible color for her lipstick. It’s always usually some really cheap, Barbie-pink looking color.
@ Chick I believe it was Dolly Parton that said “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap”… The difference is Dolly is in on the joke – Adrienne thinks she’s stylin’!
Her whole outfit looked stupid and thrown together. Brown top with Turquoise jewelry and black purse.
Hysterical Ms SH!! Better than actually watching whole show!
Ms SH really hit it outta the park IMO. Hysterical!
Funny!! As a sidenote: How do these women think that these TIGHT, Flintstone’s-ish clothes look good? As thin as Brandi is, I see lumps where her belly is. When you could see your bellybutton under a dress, it’s TOO tight. Bleh!
They also blurred out her boobage, so she must not have been wearing a brawr. It gives me hope when even a coat hanger can leave the house looking frumpy.
I don’t get it either. Brandywine is already a thin rail. Finding clothes that tight (no can sit) for a grown woman cannot be easy. What she wore when meeting Scheana was just ridiculous IMHO.
Well, her legs looked great, but these chicks all look like they’re gonna be lined up for a prostitution bust in Nevada!
dr no sox gay…lololol.
Cute. Now if the producers could come up with such stuff
“H-E-DoubleToothpicks” when I read the Shana & The Shaman section I just burst out laughing. It was just one of the funniest things I’ve ever read about her. Ms SH I loved all the photos and clever captions / descriptions, but this one really did it for me. Thanks
TC: Thank YOU for reading it… am glad you got a few laughs! TFC!! SH
So glad you covered up that awful lying Shana.
This whole blog cracked me up! Good stuff!!
When I read Paul’s advice to the vertically challenged Adrienne, I melted into hysterics. This was funny!!!! Thanks for the laughs.