REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP
Season Three, Episode Eight… “Vanderpump Rules”
by Sandi Duffy
This episode picks up with the morally corrupt Faye Resnick going after Brandi at Kyle’s, The World’s Worst Hostess, dinner. Brandi is done with being harassed and gets up to leave. Lisa has to tell The World’s Worst Hostess, Kyle, to go after Brandi. Kyle may have been “born and raised in Beverly Hills”, but she never cracked open an Emily Post book on etiquette because I’m 99% sure somewhere in there is something about not letting a dinner guest badger and bully another dinner guest. Brandi tells Kyle she’s done and leaves. Good for Brandi. She doesn’t have to take that shit.
Lisa has a go at the morally corrupt Faye Resnick and Faye is undaunted by everything she just caused and goes ahead and writes a book and poses for Playboy…oh wait, wrong story. She is undaunted by everything she caused and continues to eat her dinner.
Next we have Trailor getting a visit from a “psychic” (please take note of the quotation marks around the word “psychic”–this is because, much like Bigfoot and alien abduction, THEY DON’T FRIGGIN’ EXIST).
This broad is one hot mess and looks like she’s having a seizure rather than getting a “reading.” She tells Trailor her lawsuit will be settled. You know, because 99% of all lawsuits are settled out of court, not because she’s got any special skills.
I am laughing maniacally when Trailor gets a phone call from her Married Lawyer/Boyfriend telling her she needs to give up her wedding ring and two Hermes bags to settle the lawsuit.
I could give up my wedding ring and all my bags and it still wouldn’t come anywhere near 1.4 million dollars.
I’m skipping Yolanda because she’s boring and no one cares.
I’m also skipping Kyle and Marisa working out because no one cares. I am adding that I caught Kyle and her “acting” abilities (please note the quotation marks once again) on an episode of CSI. Let’s just say girlfriend better stick with Housewives and Diving with the Stars. I’m not psychic, but I think I can securely predict no Emmy in her future.
Paul and Adrienne are working on a skin care line. Boring! Then there’s a little foreshadowing when Adrienne TTCs that whatever it is Brandi revealed, WHICH WE STILL DON’T KNOW, has put a strain on her and Paul’s marriage.
Trailor and her Married Lawyer/Boyfriend have dinner with Maurice (minus the “o”) and Kyle and Ken and Lisa. I can’t understand why these women are condoning this cheating relationship.
Lisa and Brandi meet under the pretense of shopping, but it’s really so Lisa can get Brandi to meet with the Slutty McSlutser who slept with her husband so that 1.) there is a segue into Vanderpump Rules and 2.) Slutty McSlutster can try to clean up her image for above-mentioned show.
Brandi seeks advice from Camille who advises her to meet with Slutty.
So Brandi and Slutty meet at Villa Blanca, or SUR, I don’t remember which and I don’t believe a word Slutty says. She didn’t know Eddie was married with a pregnant wife. Really? Ever heard of Google, honey? All the cool kids are using it. The meeting is even more crushing for Brandi because she learns that he was screwing her on more than Tuesdays ( and a hint to all the single ladies out there…if a man ain’t asking you out for a weekend night, he’s married), and that mutual friend whom she trusted knew. That sucks.
And…then we have Vanderpump Rules, which I couldn’t get through.
NOTE: Just in case you missed HagfaceKyle on CSI…