So, what did we miss while takin’ some much-needed time away from the Housewives?

The really BIG story is that the ever-faithful “she’s like a sister to me” friend of Kyle Richards’… Faye  KnickKnack WeedWhack  TrainTrack  He’sAHack  LoveShack  GiveACrap  TakeANap  You’reASap  OnTheMap  GotTheClap  BadRap  SexDaddy’sLap  BoobyTrap  MoneyGap  IKnowJack That’sAWrap  BugZapped … Rancid Resnick has reported to “authorities” that she is getting death threats!  Yes, death threats!

Death threat(s) supposedly written to her and left conveeeeeeniently for her on her car!

No one knows exactly what the death threat actually says… but, hey, a death threat is a death threat!  However, the level and seriousness of the death threat could be determined IF anyone were to be privy to the actual threatening note.

We’re callin’ total BS on Faye Rancid’s let’s get more attention for the RHOBH because I’m such a despicable and morally corrupt person in real life, so why not just use ME, ’cause I’m also the newly-crowned by Bravo “friend” of a Housewife and a death threat to ME would be much more believable than a death threat to Brandi or Kim or Yolanda death threat story.

Also thinkin’ that maybe the death threat came from HagfaceKyle… now that the REAL story about Faye Rancid havin’ John Turturro’s love child is out!

Wasn’t that “death threat” story line used up by Shana last year?  Maybe the turn over at Evolution Media is so fast that none of the people there can keep track of who’s done what to whom on the crap shows they produce!   NOTE TO EVOLUTION MEDIA:  Just call me… I can tell you who’s gotten threats and when!  Here’s my number:  37…dial “1″ first!

Don’t ever forget… Kyle’s adopted!

Kyle’s Adopted!!

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UPDATE!  The note left on Faye ResidualsRancid Resnick’s windshield has been released!

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Speakin’ of Evolution Media… would suggest that Evolution put a dog chain and maybe a spiked choker and a muzzle on their latest wanna-be “star” of their fading fast Housewives-like-show-in-a-parallel-universe airing on TLC.

The wanna-be “star” is possibly instructing her “friend(s)” to send SH emails… threatening emails!

Perhaps the very same PIs who are workin’ on Faye Rancid’s “death threats” could also find out which “friend” of this wanna-be “reality” star is making these demands!

NO ONE tells SH what to do… or how to do it!

From “Concerned Viewer”…

Concerned Viewer

NOTE TO “CONCERNED VIEWER”:  No need to bother checking SH!  Since SH has Amy’s email, will simply save you all the trouble and send every item which Amy YOU have been polluting my email with to Amy directly!  Will also send them all to Vince… certainly his contact info cannot be that difficult to find!

MIND BENDER QUESTION:  How can you tell that “Sin City Rules” is a horrible Housewives knockoff produced by Evolution Media?

Here’s a huge clue:  Upcoming episodes (watch it quick before SCR is OFFICIALLY cancelled!) include Swoozie Kurtz Jen Harman getting a “health scare”… which starts her thinkin’ about a RE-COMMITMENT ceremony with her husband!

Here’s what we think about the lame, weak, so-thin-you-can-see-right-through-them, laughable STORY LINES from the minds of these “reality” show producers:

Eye roll 30Rock

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NOTE TO AMY, wherever she may be… gee, hope she wasn’t “missing” for too long!  LOL!!:   Would highly suggest you look up KooKooKelly Bensimon and get tips on how to graciously bow out of the spotlight once your show gets da BOOT!   Or, even better, you’re closer geographically to Camille Grammer… perhaps she would give you some much-needed advice.  

OOPS!  Sorry, but must retract BOTH of those suggestions!  KooKooKelly and Camille Grammer are much too good (and we’ve always liked Camille… even before she sent SH her shopping at Costco photo!) to be bothered by someone whose claim to fame is that her father MURDERED or was responsible for KILLING more people in Las Vegas than anyone else…and is also proudly braggin’ about her mother and tryin’ every which way to promote and sell her mother’s book!  

Amy: When you get that sit-down with Robin Leach, let us know at SH!   Robin’s interview would be something worth writing about!

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Nay-Nay Leakes got da bug about all these re-commitment and WEDDING ceremonies bein’ footed by Bravo!

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“Thank you, Jesus; sign of the cross; kisses to the sky”… please, Lord, make this NOT true!!   ‘Specially the part about Danielle being a “scientist”!

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Almost forgot this one:   SkankyJo called the paps again to shoot her wearin’ her bikini and frolicking in the Atlantic Ocean… AGAIN!  As you are well aware, SkankyJo is nippin’ at the toes of HagfaceKyle Richards as the most paps-callin’ Housewife!

However, don’t think Hagface has to worry about SkankyJoe takin’ over her territory… IMO, SkankyJo’s Miami show will not get another season on Bravo.

Can’t wait for Kyle’s appearance on “Diving With The Stars”!!!

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This was something sitting in “draft” mode along with some other stuff… just thought while another TLC show was mentioned, this would be a good place for Michelle Duggar’s hair!

We are fans of Michelle Duggar… just wanna make that fact clear!

Michelle got her hair updated… and many said that she just loved her new look.   However, on TLC, the truth came out about Michelle’s new do… Michelle “loved it” probably to not hurt anyone’s feelings; however, she went back to her original look immediately!

NOTE:  Michelle probably returned to her “normal” look just to save herself from hearin’ her kids yell “Nike” when she entered a room!    

ALSO… John Duggar became a constable in Arkansas today!

(Thanks to SH reader “PMG” and “FLPhil”!!)