The epitome of crassness has invaded the very elite atmosphere of the Crassest of the Crass of the Housewives!
If you’re wondering which Housewives are floating around up in that crass atmosphere…
payin’ callin’ the paps to shoot them when they walk out their door… and pushing and shoving each other out of the way for the prime spot in CrassLand… wonder no longer!
These are the top three inhabitants of the “I’m the most relevant of all the Housewives”… that little planet bobbing around in the atmosphere … the little island called “CrassLand”:
HagfaceKyle Richards… did she even give the wheelchair-bound homeless guy any of her change?
Seriously… HagfaceKyle awakened the paps, to whom she pays big bucks (it’s been rumored) to camp out on the edge of her property, to take photos of her while taking out the trash!
SkankyJo Krupa… there can be no other explanation of how she got to the “top” of the modeling world other than the “rumors” which were spewed by the ever-so-gentlemanly Joe Francis!
Marysol Patton… if Marysol would spend more time in her office working, rather then cavorting with phony Philippe look-alikes in the Atlantic Ocean, maybe she wouldn’t be whining about how bad her business is going!
Entering the enormous void in CrassLand left by her fellow Real Housewives of New York cast member, KooKooKelly Bensimon, is none other than present-but-not-yet-signed-up-for-another-season of the RHONY Housewife… alien-hands PT Housewife!
PT Housewife has rocketed into a spot in CrassLand by tweeting an offer to have a Q&A session with her father, PoopiePiggySexAddictDaddy George! All questions have to be submitted to PT Housewife for her PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingBeyondBelief DaddyGeorge to answer.
Is there some reason why PoopiePiggy cannot just answer people directly? Why do any questions have to go through PT Housewife? Do you REALLY not know the answers to these basic PR-knowledge questions? OK, here’s why PT Housewife wants the questions for PoopiePiggyDisgustingShouldBeAshamedOfHisExistence DaddyGeorge to be filtered through her:
- PT Housewife can get an indication of how many people are actually reading her twitter
- PT Housewife can get some indication of how many people are interested in HER via her Daddy
- PT Housewife can use this information when in contract negotiations (IF there are any negotions…) with Bravo, ’cause we’re hopin’ that PT goes the way of CindyBar
ClipClop TheLastDrop SugarPops DirtyMops AtTheHop ALittleRomp DonaldTrump BabyBump InASlump ForrestGump BigOldLump CamelHump GarbageDump HousewifeFrump Don’tJump GoodyearBlimp MissAndy’sAPimpShop… and is never heard from again!
- PT Housewife can show Bravo what an asset they have in her WITH her PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingDaddy along… kinda like tryin’ to set herself up ala Marysol Patton! Marysol has MamaMumbles and PT has DoofusDisgustingPoopiePiggySexAddictDaddy George!
NOTE: How interesting that way back when PT Housewife was tryin’ to make demands on SH… PT was told by SH that SH does not do “interviews” and prefers for Housewives to do the SH Q&A-type “interview.” It is interesting that not only is PT doin’ the Q&A, but have seen a few sites now doin’ Q&A… instead of the very boring Housewife “interview.”
OOPS! Forgot to add **EXCLUSIVE** to those Housewives “interviews”! ***EXCULSIVE*** ***EXCLUSIVE*** ***EXCLUSIVE*** Like anyone gives two craps about what a Housewife has to say… and whatever they have to say has to be vetted by Bravo! Ain’t nuthin’ any Housewife is gonna say in these ***EXCLUSIVE*** interviews which will spill anything or which hasn’t already been said in a previous interview! B-O-R-I-N-G!!!
As for PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingDaddy George Teichner… maybe his present PR agent dumped him after only three months…. OR… maybe PT’s tweet beggin’ for Daddy questions are to prove to the PR agent to NOT dump him! See how many people just LOVE him, Mr. PR Agent! BLEEEEEEEECH!
The HoneyBooBoo of the OC …
…no offense to the ever-adorable lil HoneyBooBoo, Alana… or to lil Honey’s MamaJune!!
Now that ‘which HoneyBooBoo is which’ is all straightened out…
The HoneyBooBoo of the OC… that trailer park lovin’ Tamballs Barney has gotten herself the very first official sponsor for her upcoming marriage to Ellie! Yes, you are ALL going to have to sit through Tamballs lookin’ for weddin’ dresses and her havin’ a woo-hoo good time at her engagement party on the upcoming season of the RHOC… you are ALL gonna have to watch as she and Ellie display their love for one another with their very bad acting skills!
OOOPS!! Forgot!! These shows are all REAL… there ain’t nuthin’ set up or dramatic or no producer-induced scenes! Just like that scene where Ellie hopped right into that hot steamin’ tub of Tamballs… right after he gulped down those two glasses of wine!
What a coincidence that the Bravo cameras just happened to be in Tamballs’ bathroom with her at that very moment!
NOTE: CrassLand has moved to a much bigger planet… there are MORE Housewives who have applied to become inhabitants! AND… even with the larger size space on CrassLand for each Housewife, they are STILL battling for the spotlight!
(Thanks to SH readers “PMG” and “Girlfriend”!!!)