The epitome of crassness has invaded the very elite atmosphere of the Crassest of the Crass of the Housewives!
If you’re wondering which Housewives are floating around up in that crass atmosphere… payin’ callin’ the paps to shoot them when they walk out their door… and pushing and shoving each other out of the way for the prime spot in CrassLand… wonder no longer!
These are the top three inhabitants of the “I’m the most relevant of all the Housewives”… that little planet bobbing around in the atmosphere … the little island called “CrassLand”:
HagfaceKyle Richards… did she even give the wheelchair-bound homeless guy any of her change?
Seriously… HagfaceKyle awakened the paps, to whom she pays big bucks (it’s been rumored) to camp out on the edge of her property, to take photos of her while taking out the trash!
SkankyJo Krupa… there can be no other explanation of how she got to the “top” of the modeling world other than the “rumors” which were spewed by the ever-so-gentlemanly Joe Francis!
Marysol Patton… if Marysol would spend more time in her office working, rather then cavorting with phony Philippe look-alikes in the Atlantic Ocean, maybe she wouldn’t be whining about how bad her business is going!
Entering the enormous void in CrassLand left by her fellow Real Housewives of New York cast member, KooKooKelly Bensimon, is none other than present-but-not-yet-signed-up-for-another-season of the RHONY Housewife… alien-hands PT Housewife!
PT Housewife has rocketed into a spot in CrassLand by tweeting an offer to have a Q&A session with her father, PoopiePiggySexAddictDaddy George! All questions have to be submitted to PT Housewife for her PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingBeyondBelief DaddyGeorge to answer.
Is there some reason why PoopiePiggy cannot just answer people directly? Why do any questions have to go through PT Housewife? Do you REALLY not know the answers to these basic PR-knowledge questions? OK, here’s why PT Housewife wants the questions for PoopiePiggyDisgustingShouldBeAshamedOfHisExistence DaddyGeorge to be filtered through her:
- PT Housewife can get an indication of how many people are actually reading her twitter
- PT Housewife can get some indication of how many people are interested in HER via her Daddy
- PT Housewife can use this information when in contract negotiations (IF there are any negotions…) with Bravo, ’cause we’re hopin’ that PT goes the way of CindyBar
ClipClop TheLastDrop SugarPops DirtyMops AtTheHop ALittleRomp DonaldTrump BabyBump InASlump ForrestGump BigOldLump CamelHump GarbageDump HousewifeFrump Don’tJump GoodyearBlimp MissAndy’sAPimpShop… and is never heard from again! - PT Housewife can show Bravo what an asset they have in her WITH her PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingDaddy along… kinda like tryin’ to set herself up ala Marysol Patton! Marysol has MamaMumbles and PT has DoofusDisgustingPoopiePiggySexAddictDaddy George!
NOTE: How interesting that way back when PT Housewife was tryin’ to make demands on SH… PT was told by SH that SH does not do “interviews” and prefers for Housewives to do the SH Q&A-type “interview.” It is interesting that not only is PT doin’ the Q&A, but have seen a few sites now doin’ Q&A… instead of the very boring Housewife “interview.”
OOPS! Forgot to add **EXCLUSIVE** to those Housewives “interviews”! ***EXCULSIVE*** ***EXCLUSIVE*** ***EXCLUSIVE*** Like anyone gives two craps about what a Housewife has to say… and whatever they have to say has to be vetted by Bravo! Ain’t nuthin’ any Housewife is gonna say in these ***EXCLUSIVE*** interviews which will spill anything or which hasn’t already been said in a previous interview! B-O-R-I-N-G!!!
As for PoopiePiggySexAddictDisgustingDaddy George Teichner… maybe his present PR agent dumped him after only three months…. OR… maybe PT’s tweet beggin’ for Daddy questions are to prove to the PR agent to NOT dump him! See how many people just LOVE him, Mr. PR Agent! BLEEEEEEEECH!
************************************
The HoneyBooBoo of the OC …
…no offense to the ever-adorable lil HoneyBooBoo, Alana… or to lil Honey’s MamaJune!!
Now that ‘which HoneyBooBoo is which’ is all straightened out…
The HoneyBooBoo of the OC… that trailer park lovin’ Tamballs Barney has gotten herself the very first official sponsor for her upcoming marriage to Ellie! Yes, you are ALL going to have to sit through Tamballs lookin’ for weddin’ dresses and her havin’ a woo-hoo good time at her engagement party on the upcoming season of the RHOC… you are ALL gonna have to watch as she and Ellie display their love for one another with their very bad acting skills!
OOOPS!! Forgot!! These shows are all REAL… there ain’t nuthin’ set up or dramatic or no producer-induced scenes! Just like that scene where Ellie hopped right into that hot steamin’ tub of Tamballs… right after he gulped down those two glasses of wine!
What a coincidence that the Bravo cameras just happened to be in Tamballs’ bathroom with her at that very moment!
NOTE: CrassLand has moved to a much bigger planet… there are MORE Housewives who have applied to become inhabitants! AND… even with the larger size space on CrassLand for each Housewife, they are STILL battling for the spotlight!
(Thanks to SH readers “PMG” and “Girlfriend”!!!)
and here i was thinking i was the only one who wore labia peeping dresses and hooker heels to take the trash out
Oh, I do too, Lisa. Never know who might pop out and take my picture!
haha you two are funny!
Maybe she has Brandy in there. Just sayin”.
Yeah – who on earth wears heels and short short dresses (not to mention the ever-flowing hair!!) to take the garbage out? And wants to be photographed doing so? If I’m wearing heels out, as soon as I get home, they come off. Then again, I don’t (and can’t) wear six inch heels!!
Mine come off in the car, and if I can whip my bra off, it’s even better…. How stupid of her to think we buy it… She is always wearing earrings that must pull the heck out of her ears… The more she tries, the more I can’t stand her, if that is possible.. Good grief .
Clearly, Vyle was “ready for her close-up” while taking out her trash. (btw: Doesn’t she have hired help to do that chore??)
I’m usually in my robe… With heals of course… Earrings, lipstick, and a ponytail…. Meeting my neighbor in her robe, and feeling who cares…
OMG how funny. Thats crazy that she would wear that outfit to move the trash.
Kyles dress appears to be the same color as the trash can. Coincidence?
I think not! Ha ha ha!
Yes, I’m sure she scoured her closet until she found just the right shade of blue. Then again, the trash can out-classes her, so maybe she should have selected a different color.
I think the blue can is the can used for recycling, if BH uses the same color coding for their trash pick up as my town does. So, Kyle is not just taking out the trash, she is showing everyone how environmentally conscious she is. Kyle is saving the planet, y’all! Ain’t she special?
Yup, it’s the recycling can — which, by the way, they ask you to not put out until it’s at least 1/2 full. Some people put them out every week, no matter how much is in there, but that just causes more pollution when the truck has to stop and pick up an almost empty can, then fire up its engine again.
@Hers is it like a big event where everyone dresses up and rolls their recycling bin to the curb just in time to wave at the Tour the Stars of BH Homes bus? if so, I would like to go on that tour and we can wave at Kyle and say, Yo Kyle! Nice dress!
LOL — maybe so! You know how the Hollywood types always like to prove how environmentally conscious they are. (Remember Ed Begley Jr’s show, when he actually pedaled a bike to power his toaster?)
@Hers—OMG! I missed that show! Around where I live (TN) some people make their own fuel….I met someone who uses French Fry oil to run his truck…very smelly!
I’ll bet!! They’re doing that here in Cali, too! People are buying up diesel Mercedes and converting them to run on cooking oil. I heard the conversion costs about $3k. Then they drive around to restaurants and salvage the used oil. I guess it might be worth it if you’re into clandestine back alley meetings behind the local Chinese place or McDonald’s.
Wow! that would make for a good HW segment…lunch and oil hoarding! LOL!
True, lol!
PJ
That’s funny! We could lizard lick our lips at her, do you think she know it was us?
LOL! I think she suspect something if I yelled Hey Kyle! nice (recycling) cans!!
Probably. I bet she’s never heard “nice cans!” before.
LoL, she needs a little more SH, don’t ya think..
Hah! My neighborhood actually can’t use those cans and the automated truck because the road is too small. All of the houses were built about 110 years ago (ancient history by SoCal standards) on a hill and they can’t get the big truck back there. They send a little Tonka truck looking dump truck and the guys have to empty the cans by hand, then they unload the Tonka truck into the big truck. I bet that trash route is considered the WORST. It is prolly a punishment to be assigned this neighborhood.
That IS ancient by LA standards. You must live in a cool neighborhood, Ana.
I’m not in LA, I am in a super secret undisclosed location. It is a cool neighborhood, though, except for the “house nazis” as I call them. They are preservation society nuts who will moan and bitch if you don’t keep everything historically accurate. One poor schmuck ran afoul of them when he installed a satellite dish. They took it to the city council and everything. Folks got too much time on their hands. Makes me want to install a veritable flock of pink plastic flamingos in the yard, just to watch them get apoplectic. I think my Gadsden flag and the flag of Israel is enough to keep me on a watch list. (They are also of a certain political bent, if you know what I mean).
Gotcha.
You really should start messing with your neighbors and start flying other flags just for a day at a time, like the rainbow flag, maybe some other Middle Eastern flag, the ecology flag, etc. Maybe put a coexist or other similar bumper sticker on your car. How about wearing a Heal The Bay t-shirt when you take out the trash or do your gardening. It might be fun.
Those coexist bumper stickers drive me crazy. I have a spoof bumper sticker where the “C” is strapped with a bomb and the other symbols are cowering.
I’ll bet your neighbors love that!
I know, right? Some people are sooooo sensitive.
I hate the coexist bumper sticker!!! Would love to find the spoofy one you’re speaking of!
@Love Vegas: http://underthehill.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/coexist.png
Look at the Coexist bumper sticker this way — it’s a heads up about who you’re dealing with.
I use to live in Handcock park area of LA, back then it was slummy we lived in a hugh Craftmans style house with a Big stone front porch. Now that nieghborhood is fufu and the houses worth close to 1 mil. Who woulda thunk. The houses are all historical down that way to.
Lisa, I bet the house was amazing. Love those front porches and all the history. I think Mayor Villaraigosa lives in Hancock Park. Back a couple of summers ago, he was caught watering his lawn too much during water rationing, and he claimed his automatic sprinkler timer was “broken.” Yeah right.
I googled earth the street I lived on to try and find the house I cant recall after all these yrs the address just the street N.Wilton place and Irving Blvd. The houses are amazing look like mansions now. I couldnt find it based on my memeries Foud a few contenders though.
Wow, you lived very near Larchmont. That’s a hip area. It’s amazing how huge the LA area is. When did you move to HI?
I was very young when we lived there We moved to the Santa Clarita valley when i was 9 there wasnt much there back then some track homes and Magic mountain. I moved to Hawaii when i was in my late 20s when my ex was staioned here
Magic Mountain! The Santa Clarita Valley is really developed now and has some very nice areas. You wouldn’t recognize it. They do a lot of filming there, too.
LMAO! What a post to end the year! Love the photo of Kyle. Very important to match your ensemble to your dumpster as you take out the trash. Tamball’s lips (bad breath, shit eating grin) HA! But you destroyed me with Cindy’s last name – tickles me every time!
Thanks Ms. SH for the laughs. You are a blogger beyond compare!
I second this. Happy New Year Ms. SH
Agreed! Nassif procedure still has me chuckling!
I know, right?!!
Totally agree..fabulous post..sh*t eating grin…lol sounds like somethin Tamballs would even say
Like they just wakeup looking like that.Everyday clothes yeah right..
The Honey Boo Boo of the OC fer reals – ha ha ha! Love the Tamra spoofs! Kyle needs to look in the mirror – bra showing is a fashion faux pas! Oh the humanity!! She looks soooooooo ridiculous taking the trash out in that get up.
Happy New Year
Who in their right mind would take out trash looking like that? Vyle wise up.
It would seem Kyle is quite comfortable with trash considering who her “best friend” is…none other than the infamous trashy Faye.
Let’s not forget Tayliar Trash Armstrong. Like attracts like.
Water seeks its own level. Sewer water, in some cases.
Kyle is coordinating her outfit to match her trash cans!
Must be getting fashion and decorating advice from Faye…
So true.
Kyle is sooooo lame – “let’s make sure our perfectly placed hair looks as ridiculous as our dress and shoes!” When will the day of TRUTH ever hit these morons in the head about how pathetic they really are? lol
SH thank you so much for making my last day of 2012, one filled with chuckes – and your blog is completely cool and the best!! Happy New Year!
I’m so sick of weddings and renewals on these darn shows, I guess I can at least skip OC this season since I can’t stand Tamballs or her gay(looks like to me)bf. What these women won’t do for camera time. I might feel differently if any of them really seemed like they were actually in love, but Tamballs don’t love anything but herself and money. An entire season of her I just can’t take. Why Bravo thinks anyone likes weddings all the time is beyond me, I hate going to weddings of people I really know, much less these HW’s who only do it for cam time.
PT’s piggy poppa, ain’t nobody interested in him, except her! I’m beginning to think there is something very odd that went on during her childhood with that pervert! He’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever watched on tv…and she’d have to pay me big bucks to even ask pervert a question. Second thought, it’d have to be a lot of money to ask him a question. Normal daughters and dad’s just don’t talk around each other the way he talks around her!
Hope everyone is having a nice start to the New Year!
PT and her pervert papa are the Manzos of RHONY. Boundaries folks boundaries! And please God not another 50 Shades Of Gray recital this time by PT.
Didn’t PPGeorge make some comment that he would “do her” if she weren’t his daughter early in the season? That really creeped me out.
That’s disgusting! Glad I missed that part. I did see when he looked at her in the bikini she was wearing and commented on how great her body is. He is a skeevy old pervert. He makes my skin crawl.
Can’t imagine my husband NOT having something to say if my father talked to me that way yuck! !!
Hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ kids……
Yes, Gross George said that and many other nauseating comments that should have kept him OFF the show, not extend his time ON it. How PT can peddle that perverted Papa is beyond me. The way Gross George talks to her, and her willingness to set him up with her RHONY friends, makes me wonder if they have a “special” relationship. Gross George IS disgusting – all of the time. PT makes more excuses for him as though he were her son. There is something really toxic about that pair.
PT . creepsters like your pervy dad are all over the net and probably will answer questions for free. Excuse me while I take a shower….
I really like pigs. I don’t think George is good enough to be characterized as a pig. Pigs are cute and have interesting personalities. They can lift things with their noses, and they taste good. I imagine George to be more like a wild boar or a tapir. Aviva is disturbed. No one is interested in her father. I believe he is pushing her to get himself more camera time. The man deserves our complete apathy IMO.
Any and every animal is too good for George. He’s sub-life form of any kind. Maybe a roach or a night crawler.
Termite or bed bug
Parasite
a ameoba maybe one of those ugly ones not the cute pink kinds
Remember that hot dog, he wanted his daughter to order, disturbed… She laughed, but thinks she’s a lady… Sick family..
How embarrassing. The only way you can get your ugly nasty self on t.v. is to shine a light into the darkest corner of your life and let people see how disgusting your father has become, to be desperate enough to do this speaks volumes considering that this is the legecy that you will leave your children. Thank God he is their maternal Grandfather and does not share the same last name. If Aviva is deluding herself to think that he is somehow eccentric and funny she is sadly mistaken and should read a few blogs. If she was smart she would never brought him around but now I guess he is her gimmick and she intends to use him. I pray that Bravo realizes that he is as boring as he is disgusting and cans this sick and sad duet.
I have commented about this before and I agree with @sd’s comment below too: George was an abusive father and continues to intimidate/ use/ and threaten his daughter to further his own twisted adgenda. I used to work for a children’s service agency and for a victim and witness protection agency. Usualy, I keep my comments light, but George I have little tolerance for. George can’t handle his daughter being on the show without him. Bravo is cruel to give him camera time. Sorry to be so serious. PJ
Certainly not disputing your point of view pj-I don’t have your professional experience but my take on George being on the show was it being the same as Gloria. Just trying to ride the Bravo gravy train. Anyone remember the “Ask Gloria ” schtick? Jillzy really pushed her mom’s agenda. IMO.
@missimg…I understand. I did like Gloria, though. She was very sweet to Bethany in one episode. I agree that Jill was a housewife who tried to get her entire family involved in the show…like the Waltons or something. I have an issue with George and its just my issue; I’m don’t want anyone to feel like they have to agree with me. I really just wanted to put it out there…:)
Oh I didn’t get the vibe we have to agree with you..just an exchange on views is all. I liked Gloria too. She was real.
I feel the same way about her dad, he creeps me out in the worst way. I would not allow my children anywhere near him without an adult, and PT is not an adult I would trust to supervise his visits….PT is as sick as he is, or she would have known normal dad’s don’t talk about the things he talks about in front of their kids. She is way too attached to him for me to believe that she was more a wife to him than the alledged mom was, imo. I can see why the mom drank after watching father and daughter.
I don’t mind them bringing in family members for the viewers to meet, either, but to bring on one who is as sick and perverted as PT’s dad is disturbing! I actually hope a social worker checked on those children if that horrible man is ever around those children without another adult around with him. That has got to be the sickest daughter/father relationship I’ve ever watched on tv. I can pretty much take anything, and my in laws when I was married would tell some pretty dirty jokes, but the things said in front of his daughter sexually is just flat out perverted. Actually, I hate to think how really horrible he was that didn’t get filmed, because he seriously turned off every one of those women…like Sonya and Luman….and we know they’re not picky man wize.
I think George and Aviva believe how they are living is the norm for them. Most of the housewives have issues (mostly financial), but I do agree Bravo has a liability on their hands with George. shame on Bravo if they realize this and have covered their butts.
Other than being a parent of one of the cast members, there is no similarity. Gloria was not a disgusting pervert toward anyone.
Do you mean that Bravo is “cruel to give him camera time” as in being cruel to PT or George or WE, the people who are the viewers? I absolutely can not stomach Gross George beyond his fake smile. Once he says anything, I channel surf until he is off screen. He truly is embarrassing to watch because he has no shame. PT is shameful for continually bringing him on and then excusing his inexcusable behavior. To me, they both seem mentally ill, twisted.
It’s cruel of Bravo to give this man camera time IMO. Cruel to Aviva.
What does PT stand for?
Paper Towel — Aviva = Viva paper towels = self-absorbed
Oh haha! Hilarious. I always wondered but didn’t care enough about her or NY to ask. Thanks hers!
Ha ha — I know what you mean. I think that was one of my first comments when I came out of Lurkerville — what does PT mean?
Classic!
I only learned what PT stood for by the messages boards at Bravo that were constantly referenceing SH……which is why I’m thinking Bravo dropped the boards and started letting comments be posted on the blogs. Thanks MS SH….now my mean comments go through on the blogs over there now….couldn’t get one through before then. Stoopid Housewives was mentioned often where to find out what was really the truth on the message board in case you never went to the message boards there!
I didn’t know what pos meant…innocent me, but know its one of my fave..
One of mine, too.
Lol thanks.
Happy New Year, ms SH! and the rest of the SH gang! I hope the new year brings everyone love and happiness in abundance.
Ditto cherry! Thank you to you an all of the amazing people here. I’ve enjoyed many hours on this site over the years.
Great song, Bubbies.
Thank you Hers
it’s one my favorite scenes from that movie.
Happy New Year to you! Cheers
And same to you, Bubbies. You’re right about that scene. The shot of Big eating at the bar reminds me of a famous old celebrity I saw one year in a packed restaurant on Valentine’s Day night, sitting and eating alone at a table in the bar area. It broke my heart, but I had to hand it to him for having the guts to put himself out there and not stay home. I wanted to approach and say hello, but my date said I shoud leave him alone, so I didn’t.
Happy New Year Cherry and everyone here! Love y’all! PJ
So let me see, Kyle was at home pushing out babies for 15 plus years to fill the huge whopping hole her Godzilla stage mother created, only taking breaks to do an episode of ER here and there. And now she’s so relevant and in demand this particular picture is worth something? Meh, Spanky don’t buy that. She probably had Portia take it on the iPhone. KYLE- sweetie if you take out your trash to the curb each week your not special. Hey I’m gonna send in a pic of me doing the same. Anyone else wanna feel special?
I forgot to add, I really hope Resnick was at home in her trash can when Kyle wheeled it out.
This is why we love ya, Spanky
Happy New Year!
She probably was, hiding from us.
speaking of FAYE I read shhe is getting death threats since they announced she was a new HW. Wonder if its true
I saw that yesterday!!
Did you read the comments, Lisa. They’re great! Apparently we at SH aren’t the only ones that see Fayke for who she really is.
Sounds like the crap SWINE tried to pull over the twitter girl. … that nothing ever same of therefore its bullcrap. No one cares enough about any of these ladies one way or another to issue a death threat. I think Swine paid someone to threaten her just so she could play victim.
I hope You are right, It kills me when people take hatered of someone to this level
I think most twitter “death threats” are horse pucky.
kills me…tee hee
hmmm
Her taking out the trash, just shows her man being even less then we already think of Maurice.. I do trash, but so does my husband….it was staged like always… I a so sick of her damn hair… I wonder how many bottles of hair color they have to use on that mop?
She is getting too old to have hair that long
So true Vicki, she annoys the cramp out of me.. My granddaughters have hair like that, they are 9 and 3.. Give it up vyle… It’s as old as your splits…
Do da garbage man carry camewas in Bevewly Hills?
Kyle is auditioning for The Price is Right…The New Carol Merrill!
Actually Carol Merrill was from Let’s Make a Deal… apropos… I’m sure that’s what she did to get her pic out there.
A deal with the paparazzi, that is…
You’re right! I was thinking of that model…Janice somebody?
That PT is “not-yet-signed-up-for-another-season” makes me happy; and gives me hope that I’ll be able to watch the new seasn.
Uuuuggghhhh, that whole scripted soft-core-porn scene with Tamballs and Eddie almost made me spew in my mouth a little all over again!
Tamra is vile inside and out. That’s all.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Tammy and Eddie got married in the bathtub.
PT loves her daddy
Inappropriately
Tamballs has a girlfriend
Name of Ms. Eddie
Hagface takes her trash out
looking like a whore
Housewives of Miami
monumental bore
Kenya you ain’t all that but
Lord you love to flirt
Apollo keep yo mouth shut
Cause you’re as dumb as dirt
Little Joey Gorga
Stop with all the sex
When the money runs out
Missy’ll be your ex
Thank you oh Ms. SH
for every thing you do
love to read here every day
and laugh at all the poo (about the housewives, of course, not you or the commenters, the icky poo that oozes from every fake a-hole on the real housewives )
Amen
MixedupChile — That’s great! Love it! Forget the early Alzheimers. Ain’t nothing wrong with your brain, girl!
Thanks, Hers! I have moments of lucidity.
Keep em coming chile. So funny.
THAT IS FANTASTIC Mixedupchile!!!
Reading your poem made me smile….
oops…it’s contagious…lol….keep em coming.
I’ve decided to come out of lurkdom to let you know y’all crack me up! This could possibly be the best place in the universe for HW stuff cause you never have to watch the programs but reap the benefits of all their tackiness. Thanks for a couple of great and more often than not hysterical years!
Both the scene with Tamara & Eddie, & Kyle’s trash run make me wanna ask, do they really think anyone is buying this? Fakeafakeafakeadefakefakefake. There I said it , all better ;P
George is disgusting and all his “compliments” can be considered sexual harassment. I would’ve punched him in his wrinkled balls for saying anything like that to me. Aviva made me want to drink Drano. I am so over these shows. Thank goodness for SH helping me to wake the heck up! Nothing about these peoples lives should be desired because its ALL fake! From their relationships..their bodies…their faces and their “money” I’ve even stopped following Brandi who I used to feel sorry for. She needs to stop tweeting all her business and info about her kids. It’s not smart or a good idea. Then again…. I’d rather read your book SH than any of those stupid housewives that’s for sure! Oh and Jason Hoppy…all I have to say is….”RUN FOREST RUN~!”
Love this comment. Especially Run Forest Run! But get some cash first…you earned it!
@Kyle: cut your hair, stop wearing hooker shoes, and stop wearing gaudy disco clothes in broad daylight!