LISA VANDERPUMP, ANDY COHEN: Miss Universe… Boring Two-Hour Infomercial… AND… No Talent Portion!

andy lisaV miss universe

The Miss Universe Pageant was just too exciting for words.  In fact, there really weren’t too many words in the two-hour dull spectacle, as the pageant was used as an infomercial for the many contributors to the pageant… the contestants wore “official” shoes, “official” dresses and “official” makeup.

LisaV giggy

MissAndy Cohen, for the third year was chosen to host the pageant.  WHY MissAndy was chosen again is a deep mystery.  He’s very out of place and looked uncomfortable… his giving Miss China a “mazel” for best national costume was totaly dumbassery.

The Bravo Housewife chosen as a judge this year was Lisa Vanderpump, who dragged her poor little dog with her.


(The first year MissAndy hosted, DonCaro was the Housewife judge; last year it was Cindy Whatever…)


Lisa asks Miss USA a deep question… and Miss USA gives a moronic answer!


And… after one hour and 5o minutes of an infomercial, Miss Universe is crowned…


NOTE:  Now does everyone understand the difference between Miss USA and Miss America?  Miss USA does nothing but strut around in gowns and bikinis… Miss America actually has a talent portion in which they have to compete.  Miss USA/Universe is basically an infomercial… Miss Universe is the HoneyBooBoo of beauty contests.


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20 comments on “LISA VANDERPUMP, ANDY COHEN: Miss Universe… Boring Two-Hour Infomercial… AND… No Talent Portion!

  1. I just wanted to take this opportunity to pitch Miss Andy an idea for turning the Kim Z spinoff into something watchable. Since Bravo is venturing into scripted television shows, they should dump the reality concept of Kim Zolciak’s life and make the show about her having many different wigs of different colours and which she wears to go undercover as a secret agent. They can call it Alias: Zolciak.


  2. Those costumes look like something you’d see in West Hollywood on Halloween. And boy, Giuliana has even more trouble closing her lips over her fake choppers than Gretchen.


  3. Did a (blind) mortician do Lisa’s make-up??? What’s with the Mommy Dearest brows?? Don’t get me wrong, I HATE the McDonald’s arches brow look too but those should be criminal…and what’s with those obnoxiously fake (even if your looking to get a “camera read”) eyelashes on the other woman??? I’m sorry but, why does the gay mafia (fashion industry) want us all to look like drag queens and are pushing all this artifice???

    False eyelashes, false lives, false idols…yeah, this can’t be good…


  4. Andy was trying so hard not to be queenie. It was good for a two min. laugh, then I had to turn it off. He is such a f** idiot, I don’t know how anybody can watch him under any circumstances.


  5. Ive always loved the Miss USA & Miss Universe pageants a lot better than Miss America. The winners do get some great prizes but if you need $ to further your education, Miss America is the way to go. IMO, the USA/Universe pageants are more glamorous. As a matter of fact, Lori Montoya’s (Sin City Rules) cosmetics company “Rain”, sponsors the Miss USA pageant…they do all the makeup etc. for most, if not all, contestants.


    • I like both pageant systems but lately the USA ones have soooo much silly drama attached to them. Fuffly hype over silly “controversies” Miss America is more classy. I missed Miss USA this year. I rarely do that I just couldn’t muster up the gumption this time for some reasons. Interesting the Rain cosmetics connection. Do you know where besides SCR I would have seen Lori Monntoya before? She looks so familiar.


      • @Made-Yea, you’re right…drama is involved quite a bit! I missed all of the USA pageant except for the crowning lol I do think Miss USA/Universe is a beautiful woman. Also, I thought the same thing about Lori…yea, she has a twin but I know it’s Lori I’ve seen before. There are other events & things Rain sponsors & is involved with. I did some reading up on the company & her last week & that’s when I found out about the USA & Rain connection since 2009, I believe.


  6. Baahahahaha freakin hahahahahah at Miss Netherlands costume. How does she keep a strait face in that? Those pinwheels just spin in the breeze… where is the breeze coming from? her ears? bahahahahahahhaa


  7. I cannot understand why NBC chooses Andy Cohen for this show…aren’t there many young men who have a degree in broadcasting who would at least do it for the money? Andy is still, after three seasons, self-conscious, and Giuliana, who has been on E for years, can’t read a cue card. I gave the show 10 mins., and I was outta there. NBC thought they could get worse, but they proved they ARE the worst last night. AND, I thought A and G were hip – too hip to demean women, even those beautiful enuf to win! But back to the money – as if either of them need more!!!!


  8. okay, is it me or does lisa look extremely plastic, well, more plastic than usual…wtf happened to her face????? i thought she looked terrible. i bet she would look better minus all the extra work, smh


  9. well congrats to Olivia for winning, she is from my home state lives 15 minutes from me.Although i’m shocked she won because shes not that tall


  10. I’d like to know if it just me or is Andy looking a little “rode hard and put up wet”??? Sorry for that lovely pictorial bit of satire….but look at his eyes. They look dull and lifeless.


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