REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP
Season Five, Episode Seven… “I Do, But I Won’t”
by Sandi Duffy
This episode is supposed to be the one where Kenya hits Nene. I know Kenya is cray cray, but Nene has raised her hands to another housewife on more than one occasion, so what goes around…you know the rest.
We are back to Anguilla (and I still don’t know where the hell this island is) and back to Kenya, who is looking rather mannish by the way, asking Phaedra if she let Apollo sleep with a friend, who would it be. Phaedra is PISSED, and I don’t blame her.
Nene smells something rotten in the state of Denmark, when it comes to Kenya and Walter’s relationship, and I think it’s already been revealed that Walter was not really her boyfriend when this was filmed.
Greg is cooking dinner for everyone, and while what he’s grilling looks delicious, when I’m on vacation, they last thing I would want to do is cook.
Cynthia and Peter renewing their vows after only two years of marriage is stupid, almost as stupid as Leeann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian renewing their vows after only one year of marriage.
Unlike other Housewives shows, I actually like all the “husbands”, except Peter, of course. But even he isn’t as horrid as say, Joe Gorga, or Slade Slimey.
We discover that Kandi and her man got busy in the hot tub the night before and eeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! I’m totally with Phaedra about not getting into hot tubs.
Kenya and Walter go off for a walk together and Kenya thinks he’s going to propose, but we all know that’s never going to happen because Walter is not really Kenya’s boyfriend. He’s someone she promised 15 minutes of fame if he came on the show and pretended to be her boyfriend. Now that I know he was never her boyfriend, I like him. I was suspicious of any man who would put up with that kind of crazy.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Walter’s “big surprise” is telling Kenya that Peter and Cynthia are going to renew their vows.
Nene is stirring a big pot of shit, when she comments about how Porsha and Kenya got off on the wrong foot. Porsha foreshadows a bit, when she TTCs that Nene doesn’t know what she’s getting into because Kenya is crazy.
The women go to a spa and Nene, who used to be a stripper, is all embarrassed about getting undressed for a massage.
The women talk about marriage and Kenya says her and Walter may elope. Nene TTCs about this and it is hysterical. Then Nene says to Kenya’s face that her and Walter don’t seem like a couple to her. Us neither, Nene.
Peter pretends to be throwing a “white” party (although Nene didn’t get the memo and is wearing a lot of blue), but really he arranged their vow renewal.
Everyone gets a wish lantern to make a wish. If I had a wish lantern, I’d wish for this season to be over because I am bored out of my mind.
Nene again stirs that pot of shit, stating she couldn’t wait to go on the trip with Kenya because she heard so much about her. Porsha tells Kenya she is very different on this trip. Then Porhsa tells the story about what a diva Kenya was at her event I give Porsha credit for telling the story in front of Kenya. Then things escalate, of course. Phaedra’s face, watching this disaster unfold, is priceless. I wish the camera would focus more on Phaedra. Nene gets in between them. Phaedra TTCs about it and she’s hilarious. THAT’S the Phaedra I love. Just when everything calms down, it gets started again. Kenya goes after Porsha and Nene grabs her to hold her back.
Kenya says she will go “Detroit” on Porsha. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Could Kenya have heard Trailer tell Kim she will go “Oklahoma” on her? Then Kenya starts twirling around and talking about how she’s all “Gone with the Wind” fabulous. Okkkkkkkkkaaaaaaay.
On the next RHOA… they’re still in Anguilla!
I think kenya was very defensive for no reason when porcha was telling the story on how at first they didn’t hit it off.Personally I feel like Kenya has some underlying jealousy towards porcha. I was so glad she stood up for herself.
Kenya is just mad that little ditzy Porsha seems to have it all. I am glad that Porsha wasn’t taking her shit and gave just as good as she got.
Bizzy did you see Porsha on WWHL last night. She zinged Kenya over and over. Really good ones too like “I used to look up to Kenya for a long time since I was like yay high” Just diggin in on the age thing repeatedly like a gopher but anyways I get a kick outa Porsha.
Damn Made I actually decided to go back to reading my book. Andy tends to annoy me. I like Porsha, she might be dumb as a box of rocks but she seems to be a kind and harmless person like Cynthia. I am glad she gave as good as she got on that island.
I watched WWHL last night, made! I also get a kick out of Porsha. When Miss Andy called her Kenya, that was so funny. Just goes to show how conditioned his reading the teleprompter response is. I bet whoever made that mistake gets fired after they lick Miss Andy’s toes.
Miss Andy is dark, so my guess is he’s the type to fire folks around holiday time.
I think that was Andy’s mistake alone. He has made booboos like that in the past.
I just watched the episode from last night. Noticed that Porsha kept referring to the owner of the house as a Chinese man. Multiple times. Add that to the list of Porshaisma. Also did you see Kenya pop her meds at the beginning of the powwow? You can almost see the exact moment her meds kicked in with her “gone with the wind” twirly move. If you have it on DVR watch that part again. Her face right before she does screams meds just kicked in.
Mp, that’s so funny, I”m going to go back and watch it again. I was only so so watching last night.
Thanks Sandi another great re-cap. I’ll comment after I see it later.
This bitch who wrote this has some good points and some crazy ass ones! How could you say peter renewing vows after 2yrs is stupid?! Do you pain the pain that couple went through at their wedding,from mother and sister?! You are a stupid ass! N greg cooking, what harm is in that? That’s rather sweet. Smfh
Lighten up — just opinions….
There is no need to call Sandi a stupid ass. This is all for fun.
I agree. You can disagree without name calling.
Sandi called NeNe and Peter stupid; so, what’s the difference? I am sure since Sandi can dish it out…she can take it!
You perhaps should take a gander at the rules. We all have our opinions but we do not name call. Frankly name calling accomplishes nothing and detracts from the validity of your opinion and any point that you might make is lost.
It’s not a matter of who can dish it and who can take it. The difference is that the wives and their husbands (NeNe and Peter in this case) are up for consumption on SH but posters are not to call other poster names per TOS. Sandi is fellow poster, the right hand lady of Ms SH.
Renewing your marriage after two years IS dumb. It’s not like they hit the ten or twenty year mark of marriage or anything; and besides, it’s so obviously just a storyline planned by the producers. Every RH show requires a marriage renewal, by law; Vicki did it in OC, Ramona in NYC, and Teresa in NJ (Even though it wasn’t shown on the show), and now Cynthia in ATL. It’s planned by the producers, and it was a stupid plan because a huge part of it is just to give Cynthia a storyline.
and every friggin one of those renewals was B.O.R.I.N.G!
I totally agree…and if you listen to the show Peter gave the reason he decided to renew their vows….because of what his mother/sister-in-law did at THEIR wedding. Now, with that being said…Your opinion is yours…but, to call someone’s opinion stupid…is wrong. So, now I feel fine calling some of your recaps, stupid!
I like Peter and have since the beginning. We know that Peter loves Cynthia, but with Cynthia’s mother and sister anyone bad side would come out. I am personally glad that those two are not on the show!
One, more note…you said that NeNe hit castmembers…maybe, I miss those episodes, who did NeNe hit? I do know that Kim and her did have a major disagree, that may have gotten physcial , but we only have Kim’s side and we all know that Kim is a first class LIAR! So, again…who did NeNe hit?
I like Peter, too. His and Cynthia’s marriage is their own business. And I have to agree with Sandi — I don’t want to cook for myself on vacation, either.
Kandi…don’t call anyone here a b.
In the upper right corner of your screen is a bright red X. Right click can be your frienbd.
Can I just say that I can’t stand women who refer to other women as “bitches”….we don’t like men calling us that…why would we call each other that name? (on a side note…I guess my husband and I are stupid because we’ve been married almost 3 1/2 years and we haven’t renewed our vows yet…lol)
Bravo paid for the first wedding, Bravo paid for the renewal…. “Suprise” Peter is a freeloader. You really should have seen that one coming Cynthia. Check back with us in a few years when he has to foot the bill, then see how many ridiculously unnecessary surprise ceremonies you get.
Amen!!!
Just my thought when I heard about the wedding. Bravo is putting this whole thing together $$$
Can’t stand Peter!
The Housewives are all too scripted and boring.They better have their platforms in place when each show gets cancelled.Fake fighting and arguments for a storyline.
Great recap. I am beyond bored with this season.
Same here!
OMG! These women are not great actors. I miss Sheree and her gays
Greg turned the meat. Bravo chefs cooked and prepared the whole meal.People dont believe all this is for real.All staged for a taping.Bravo plans and pays for each trip just one of the dummies is fake hosting.Bravo producers write the script. They are all just acting for a paycheck.Some not so good.
I could swear the fights are choreographed. They all look the same.
ITA. Sooooo boring.
I watched Asa and Gigi have their duke it out cat fight on Shahs of Sunset and then a promo for RHOA came one and the fight looked identical. I have never had a cat fight or any physical altercation with a woman in my life. Seriously who does this? Women desperate for a paycheck!
Side bar: GG, is sick in the head, I think GG’s fight may be real, she threatened her sister and she is so out of touch with the real world; her father seems to do nothing to help her but enable her. I am starting to question the housewives script, maybe the base of the arguments are real and they just add all the other drama for ratings; but the other side of that coin, Kenyuk is out of control as well and lives in her own mind. I think some of women are capable of violence, the weak ones loose control on the sets and become drama queens, notice the ones that stay in control, Camille, the Countless, etc.
Great insight Pompano and definitely food for thought. IMO the whole Daddy supports me and Big sister complaining about Gigi not having money is faux drama . Hello baby sister is collecting Bravo checks (in my best Nene voice). Sister and Dad probably enjoying the trickle down coinage as well. IMO it’s all about bringing the drama and the crazy for the ratings. If a HW wants a storyline apparently jumping on the crazy train and chick fighting will guarantee your slot.
None of these people male or female have the $$ to fund a group trip let alone take their enemies on a vacation.So stupid to act like it was all their idea to host a trip.Bravo running the show and they are just playing along taking credit without any effort or $$ involved.Peter can not afford to pour piss out of a bucket let alllow plan/pay for a trip.Snap out of it folks!!!
LOL!!!
Actually kandi’s net worth is 35 million so I think she would have no problem funding this trip.
Kandi’s Todd has a bad habit of looking into camera.Phaedra talks sex too much then acted all prime and proper when the slut monkey with acme Kenya was hitting on her husband.No one needs to her about your sex life then you get all pissed when approached by someone.Slut monkey should have said same thing to Kandi about Todd.Seems like she would have had sex with any of the men there given a chance.Even lap dog Gregg.See how MeMe would have reacted to that .
The booty, the drop, the pop and drop, the blah blah blah, the Atlanta group is sexually disgusting. It is a grotesque stereotype they are pulling with this Atlanta show, and it is awful. I’m with Kandi’s mother on all of this. Trashy brain-stem driven behavior. This is not teenagers at the Jersey Shore, but adult women in their late 30s, the men being older in some cases, and they are carrying on like dumb strippers. Disgraceful. I can’t believe Bravo continues to show these black women in this light. It makes me really uncomfortable, and ashamed for them.
Oh please! Let’s not go into that “black women stereotype” BS.
All reality stars are dumb as hell, I don’t hear you say Bravo is portraying white women in a negative light in the other housewives franchises. Let’s stop with that bullshit?
No let’s not. The day Lisa Vanderpump invites Ridickulous to do his act in the middle of SUR, THEN I will say that BH franchise is grossly oversexualized. But I didn’t say that, now did I? The RHOA are fulfilling EVERY negative black female stereotype. I hold Bravo responsible for that. They are ALL stoopid, but Atlanta is flat out gross in addition to being sub-I.Q. stoopid.
I may be the only one here who thinks Kenya has a pretty face.
Kenya has pretty coloring but her skin is awful! Perhaps the heavy make up they have to wear has something to do with it but it makes Kenya look rough as a cob.
I think her facial features are very pretty, skin notwithstanding. Acne at her age can be caused by hormones.
Her eyes could be pretty if she dialed back the crazy in them. But seriously, she is a pretty girl. Also I get the feeling that if she sticks around her hw product will be a hair care line. She is very proud of the fact that that is all hers and I cant help but think that her “hold on to your weaves” boat ride was choreographed specifically to show how real her hair was. Also the “gone with the wind fabulous” spinning around included copious amounts of hair tossing too.
She is not ugly. I think she has way too much makeup up. I remember reading that they put on way more makeup for people in front of a camera. These women need to try to go more natural. I can totally see her doing a fitness video above anything else. She definitely works hard on her body.
Yeah I can see that too.
No not in any realm is she ugly. Her skin is rough but she is a very beautiful woman. Kenya would be truly beautiful if her behavior wasn’t ugly. the true measure of a beautiful person is strength and grace, kindness and sense of humor.
I agree 100%.
Well, she’d maybe do better tweeting about acne than Jackaloon…..
she has a pretty face, but ugly insides. kenya is not a nice person and needs to just goa way
Gone with the Wind Krazy! Kenyuk is a mean girl and shows no respect to anyone on that show, Nene is behaving way better than Kenyuk and I thought I would never say/write that!
Not with all that acne she has! Bad skin and very oily. She is washed.
Barf!!!Slut monkey with acme Kenya is manly and greasy all over.
Gotta agree Susie, Kenya is the greasiest housewife that I have ever seen. What with all her acting gigs and being Mrs. USA, you’d think she’d have a clue about skin.(heavy sarcasm, lol) Anyway, thank you Sandy, spot on again, love your humor. Everyone have a great night!
I agree and disagree with you. For someone that has a background on modeling, pageants and acting, she should know how to take care of her skin. However, I have tremendously sensitive skin anything I put on makes me break out for days. She should wear less makeup cause she wears too much and it irritates her skin. Plus, when you are in such a hot climate like Anguilla, the last thing you wanna do is wear so much makeup! The sweating on makeup just makes you super greasy!!! She looks pretty in her talking heads though
I am sorry something about Kenya and a few of these housewives, brings out my high school mean girl mentality, which I had buried many, many moons ago. Damn Bravo, lol, I never think of her with any empathy, like I would a non-housewife. I truely need to think about what I say about housewives, befor I write, cause I would never want to alienate a real person. Thanks for making me see insults are no way to make a point, no matter how mean Kenya is! Have a nice night!
I get it, it does the same thing for me too! Thats why I’ve always said that I would like for these shows to be more positive. I dislike Kenya, I think her whole “pageant” persona is very fake, I truly don’t understand her being on the show but oh well. That being said, everyone’s skin is a little different, I have to baby mine….she should start doing the same if she wants to be in show business though. Don’t blame yourself on the mean girl mentality, these women just bring it out of us.
Can’t stand Kenya but that dumbo Porsha deserved anything she got from Kenya. Porsha is so ignorant and she certainly has nothing on Kenya in looks or accomplishments. She truly does not know when to stfu. I wanna slap her but I have never been physical but she infuriates me that much. Btw, just read that Meme’s Bentley just got repo’ed.
Thanks for the recap, u saved me time from watching. If bravo is paying NeNe all this $, they should ask for a refund.
I’m sorry but NeNe’s “ratchetchetness” and Phaedra’s face make the show! Kenya said she had pedigree? I didn’t know her family was important in Detroit? She contradicted herself. If anything Porsha is the only one in RHOA with pedigree…Pleeease, Kenya is a has been (she looks pretty in her TH though) I’m still waiting to see a movie from her production company…..Anyone seen one?
Here is a taste. And this is what makes me think that Kenya is just puttin on the dog.
I’m sorry but this looks like a movie shot by the tv crew at my high school. Doesnt look professionally done, therefore I played it without the volume on. Sorry, but looks kind of like a joke.
I thought that looked like ol’ KootchieKrack in there. So that’s where she practiced her “acting” chops.
People cook on vacation to save money. Cordell’s “hot sex in the hot tub” was the only funny part of the discussion. Kandi’s high nature talk is gross; last week alcohol made her warm “down there”. Gross, gross and gross. Todd is cute, younger than Kandi, maybe he likes freaky but I probably likes being on t.v. more. Hopefully I’m wrong. Phaedra talks sex a lot but her golden off the wall asides make up for her mannish mouth. Nene wore turquoise, Kandi wore see-thru pants, Phaedra had her 12 year old’s chest on display. Yet, staged or not, it was a lovely scene. Maybe I’m gullible, but Cynthia seemed surprised. Peter is still a dog and didn’t care if Apollo or Walter were there, but Cordell Stewart there beat Christmas for Petey. I’ve started liking boring Cynthia. She’s a breath of fresh air-especially with this RHOA. She’s the most decent and sincere on any of the franchises.
I hate pot-stirring Nene. Her goal, instigating Porsha and Ken’s fight was easy. When things got heated, Nene set out to calm Ken down, but Ken had her number, which threw Nene-no easy feat. Ken is BSC, a bunny boiler, but Nene might have met her match. Ken is smart and older and a Nene and K conflict has potential
Dang, I didn’t know I had so much to say.
Toodles.
I like Atlanta. Every episode is pretty entertaining. The thing is: we have seen almost every part of the trailer(the best parts of the season). Does that mean the rest of the season is gonna be boring?
This may not be the zippiest episode, but it sure was a needed diversion for a while. Made me stop watching the news and crying.
ITA! Ihaven’twatched ANY of this season of ATL, but I had been crying all weekend and needed the break. Great recap, Sandi!
My two cents:
Kandi – I like how she interacts with her boyfriend – it’s cute. However, somebody needs to give this woman a makeover. Or at least for somebody to talk her out of wearing that wet-n-wavy weave.
Phaedra – Her TTC’s are always comic relief.
Kenya – Cray. The ‘hood BEEN knew she was crazy – now the rest of the world knows too.
NeNe – I’m not a NeNe fan, but I loved how she said OUT LOUD what everyone was thinking about Kenya’s “relationship”. And KEPT saying it – to Kenya’s face. And I like how she practically manhandled Kenya when “Sybil” came out and tried to attack Porscha.
Porscha – The chick may be ditzy, but she gave Kenya/Sybil and good as she got. 2 cool points for standing up for herself.
Cynthia – looked GORGEOUS at the vow renewal (I actually don’t judge people for vow renewals. God forbid your spouse dies, then you’d regret not doing it in order to make the judgey people happy). But did anyone catch the “i TOLD YOU that bish was cray” look she kept giving NeNe? LOL!
Also, shout-out to all the parents out there. I know that you, like myself, were PETRIFIED to leave your children at school/daycare this morning. We WILL make it through this day. My prayers and condolences to those who lost loved ones. Peace be unto you.
Excellent post Treasure. Scary times we are living in. Our children are so precious. Will continue to keep the families of Sandy Hook in my prayers.
what does ttc mean?
talk to camera
Thanks Treasure. My baby girl called in a rare moment of needing comfort after leaving her darling at school. We talked it out but I am not sure how any parent handles it. The grief and shock are so fresh. My constant prayers for those families who lost loved ones and friends . Maybe we should all try to spread more love and keep peace and compassion in our hearts.
Whatever happened to Peter and Cynthia’s money woes? Did it magically dissapear?
Cynthia said his club was doing well and so is her modeling school.
Granted we know that the whole renewal was paid for and planned by Bravo as a storyline but I have to say I was happy for them. As much of an ass as Peter showed himself to be the way that Mel and Cynthia’s mom interfered in their wedding was just bad. Lots of times you won’t like your siblings spouse but sometimes people have to learn on their own and they should have let her day be a happy one. I think it says a lot that she never had the nerve to actually marry before Peter and he was the one that made her want to take the final steps. If it works for her, and she is happy, then who is to say anything else or make her feel bad for her choices.
I kind of like watching anyone in a tropical environment. Im probably paying more attention to the scenery than the drama. Its so drab here in PA. All that aside, Im sure Bravo put NeNe up to confronting Ken about hers and Walts relationship. And I think she was happy to do it. Porscha, being a newbie and prob desperate to sign on another season, was likely to have been told by producers to bring up her and Kenyas past scuffle. I dont think, could be wrong here, that porscha is a natural pot stirrer. She seems more like a fun times kind of girl to me. Clearly, it wasnt in anyones best interest to bring up the past while everyone was busy getting along. Who DOES that? Only Bravolebrities…thats who. I think Bravo should implement the rules of Festivus and each HW show have a Festivus special beginning with the “airing of grievances”. Its not that far fetched. It kinda happens at my parents house every holiday gathering.
Bravo is scum. I am still asking God to give me back the time I wasted on RHOA last night. Thankfully, I was on SH as well so it’s all good. I do think watching the snooze fest RHOA helped with my insomnia. I think RHOBH also helps with my insomnia. I don’t need melatonin for sleep when I watch either of those shows. I was asleep before 2am, which is a miracle for me.
Kendra and Walter remind me of the movie Love stinks (one of my Fav’s). If you haven’t seen it you should. Classic movie of a desperate woman trying to trap a man into marriage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xolrKsg1us8 Love stinks the movie on Utube.
Awesome! Thanks
It is good for a belly laugh!
I was looking just the other day for a clip from this movie for Kenya and Walter. I wanted the part were he gives her earings and she launches into a diatribe “Why wont you marry me? I am pretty. I am sexy… ” So fitting
So let me get this straight, we are suppose to believe that just by way of happy accident that everyone packed a pretty much solid white outfit? Yeah ok.
Made I can kind of see it. Usually when you go to tropical islands you try to pack light colored clothes. The stuff they were wearing wasn’t exactly dressy for wedding kind of wear if you ask me. White Hot parties are a big thing in the islands. When you go on most Caribbean cruises they also tend to throw a White Hot party.
I understand. But I still think Cynthia was in on this given the way she was acting on the boat on the way over. It was just too contrived.
She didn’t really seem shocked to me either. Plus isn’t she the one that says she hates surprises, remember when he planned that engagement party?
Also Cynthia opted for a simple elegant hairstyle for the occasion. Normally she goes all out with the hair which I love how she can do that. She does it well. If it was just an island white party she thought she was dressing for I imagine she would have brought out the long braids and/or some type of matching hat.