REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS RECAP
Season Three, Episode One… “She’s Gone Too Far”
by Sandi Duffy
Back to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Trailor’s best (and by best, I mean worst) drunken scenes have been edited out; Kyle has no storyline; Kim is way too fragile to be on this show; Lisa is Lisa; Camille is a bore; Yolanda is shell-shocked; and Brandi is the fire-starter
Mauricio enters his home and there is something about eggs being thrown at the house, but then I can’t tell if that’s true or not because he just bought his 16-year-old daughter a fancy car that no 16-year-old should own.
Brandi and her book agent meet. I’ve said it before, but I am so sick of Housewives books. I will never read a single one of them. They are all idiots. They all have nothing to say of interest. I do not relate to any of them. Brandi’s book agent pulls out Chelsea Handler’s book, and Brandi Glanville is no Chelsea Handler. Puhlease.
Next we get a preview of Lisa’s new series, by watching her at work. We see Lisa dress down one of her employees for pissing off an important customer. I don’t believe this is how Lisa would handle something like this. This bitch would be out on her ass if all this really happened.
Lisa is having a tasting at her restaurant, but Brandi had to make sure the slut who slept with her husband isn’t going to be working the tasting.
Lisa’s husband needs hip replacement because he had a Polo accident 10 years ago. Rich people crack me up. We are supposed to feel badly that Ken hurt himself playing Polo– a sport only the very wealthy can engage in. Next. Lisa breaks her arm in a fox hunt.
Kim shows up EARLY to the tasting. Her and Brandi crank call Kyle because she is later than Kim. Trailor shows up and her lips enter the room 10 minutes before she does. At least she’s given up that whole “hair pulled back on her Klingon forehead” look.
They’re pairing wines with appetizers and there’s Kim. I really feel her sister should refrain from drinking at these events to support her sister’s sobriety, but Kyle is a selfish bitch, so that is never going to happen.
There is talk about Adrienne’s book deal. Yes, another Housewife book. That makes three for this show.
Kyle stirs the pot and sets up Brandi by asking what went on between Adrienne and Brandi’s friendship. Brandi reveals that Adrienne and Paul tried to get Brandi to take to twitter to defend them and go after Lisa. These petty twitter wars are ridiculous. Adrienne must have some power at Bravo because Brandi gets edited out when she makes a big reveal, which I assume is something about her marriage breaking up. I guess Adrienne has more clout than Teresa does because apparently Teresa asked Bravo not to play Joe’s mysterious phone call where he calls Tre a See You Next Tuesday.
Back hair really grosses me out. However, I’ve seen a lot worse than Paul’s. I’ve seen men who look like they are wearing sweaters on the beach. Now chest hair is a different story. I like chest hair.
Dimitri and Mauricio bond over their stupid accents at Mauricio’s event. Camille makes yet another small penis crack at Kelsey’s expense.
I must be missing something because I don’t see the appeal of Dimitri. Why is Mauricio TTCing about his company? Why are we being given a real estate pitch? It’s bad enough when the housewives are promoting their crap, but now the husbands?
Lisa and Ken pull up to the hospital and Lisa is wearing 10 inch heels. Where did you she think she was going? It’s a hospital, not a restaurant opening. I didn’t realize Ken was so much older than Lisa–16 years is a lot. Lisa looks ridiculous in her high heels at the hospital. Ken’s orthopedic surgeon had nothing on my mom’s orthopedic surgeon. She had rotator cuff surgery in August and the man was so good-looking, I couldn’t concentrate on a thing he told me when she came out of surgery. Had I known I would have shown up at the hospital in 10-inch heels like Lisa.
Back to Mauricio’s sales pitch. Paul and Adrienne show up. Kim spills the beans about what happened at SUR. We still don’t know what exactly it was that Brandi said that inflames them so much, but all hell breaks loose at Mauricio’s event, and for a minute I think I’m watching NJ or Atlanta because there’s so much cursing and the word “bitch” being thrown around. Keep it classy Beverly Hills.
Now can someone please tell me what the big secret was Brandi revealed? Was it about their divorce? An affair? That they are broke?