SHANA “TAYLOR ARMSTRONG”: Baby, Let’s Cruise… Scammin’ On The High Seas!!… With Shana… UPDATE: Cruise Cancelled!

July 22, 2012  9:30 am   UPDATE December 3, 2012

If you were planning on sharing intimate moments with Shana/SWINE/Shaft on her March 2, 2013 cruise… along with her Mother and Dr. NoSocks… you’re outta luck!

Shana’s very exciting cruise plans have been cancelled postponed!    Received the following from a SH reader:

Thank you for your interest in the sailing with Taylor but unfortunately we had to postpone. I will keep your information and should things change I will be happy to contact you.

As mentioned on SH July 24, 2012… Shana was tryin’ to get her cast mates to join her.  Guess that plan tanked, too…



From SH reader “skidly”… sung to the theme of “Love Boat”…

Scams, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We will be grifting you.
Scams, life’s sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats away from you.Scam Boat soon will be making another run
The Scam Boat grifts something from everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Love won’t hurt anymore
It’s an shady deal on a friendly shore.

Shana is now taking the route of has-been TV sitcom ‘stars’… hosting a cruise!

                                                                         Lisa Vanderpump, Shana…

As a Participant of this Special Group with Taylor Armstrong you will receive:

  •  Readings from Taylor’s New York Times Bestselling Novel “Hiding From Reality”
  • Taylor Armstrong will take you behind the scenes of her reality television series Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”
  • Taylor discusses Beverly Hills on a Budget/Living in Luxury without Breaking the Bank
  • Beauty Tips with Taylor
  • Fitness and Dieting Tips
  • Private Cocktail Reception
  • Photo Op with Taylor Armstrong
  • Taylor’s Book signing Personalized for all participating passengers

From the official release:

The week-long cruise hosted by Armstrong focuses on wellness, fitness, empowerment, enhancing friendship, family ties and personal relationships and takes a look behind-the-scenes at reality TV and the Beverly Hills lifestyle.  Each participating passenger will receive a complimentary copy of Armstrong’s Hiding from Reality, personally autographed by Armstrong.  Armstrong’s interactive activities with participating passengers include discussions, readings from Hiding from Reality, workshops, small-group breakout sessions, group onshore excursion and cocktail reception.  The once-in-a-lifetime cruise experience makes stops at exotic Mexican Riviera ports of call Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan and Cabo San Lucas.

 Armstrong said in an official statement:

“Come sail with me on this fabulous seven-day Mexican Riviera cruise aboard the ms Zaandam to work on our tans, learn how to get in shape, talk about last season on my TV show, enjoy the savory meals an activities on board and actively discuss and explore our personal growth, so we’re living well and loving it!”

Jamie Unger, Group Sales Manager at CruisesOnly added, “It is an exciting opportunity to work with Taylor Armstrong to offer participating passengers the chance to share in Taylor’s experiences while focusing on many avenues of personal growth,” said Jamie Unger, Group Sales Manager for CruisesOnly.  “It is always rewarding to be able to plan and promote unique cruises, especially offering travelers “backstage” access to the world of Hollywood and the opportunity of empowerment to enhance relationships.”

(Thanks to SH readers “KateH” “PDM” “Jonquil” and “S” and “anon”!!!)

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74 comments on “SHANA “TAYLOR ARMSTRONG”: Baby, Let’s Cruise… Scammin’ On The High Seas!!… With Shana… UPDATE: Cruise Cancelled!

  1. What? Taylor is going to offer “Fitness and Dieting Tips?” Would anyone take advice of this nature from an anorexic? Scary.

    • My comment exactly! She has no right giving any advice! This is by far one of the most ridiculous trip& who the heck would go? Seriously? Sceery thinking that this is going to happen?

  2. What about the alcohol, doesn’t she have any tips on becoming a screaming, out of control, crazy drunk????

    • Private cocktail reception. Hmm, that must include tips on power loading alcohol and what scripts to get for maximum effect with alcohol. You too can become a blabbering, screeching out of control maniac!

    • lol. I was just wondering… if sombody starts acting like an out of control rabid beast on a cruise out on the high seas, you can toss them overboard and it aint murder right?

      • The ship’s captain just pulls out a makeshift plank . Followed by applause. Loud, thunderous applause.

  3. Scams, exciting and new
    Come Aboard. We will be grifting you.
    Scams, life’s sweetest reward.
    Let it flow, it floats away from you.

    Scam Boat soon will be making another run
    The Scam Boat grifts something from everyone
    Set a course for adventure,
    Your mind on a new romance.

    Love won’t hurt anymore
    It’s an shady deal on a friendly shore.

  4. I won’t even watch the show anymore because of this grifter/duck. If this cruise doesn’t follow the same course as the Kate Gosselin cruise I’ll be shocked.

    • I’m w/ you on this, bagladey. I haven’t watched a single episode of Season 3 b/c I thought the Black Widow was going to be phased out.

  5. Kate Gosselin tried this too. Her trip was cancelled due to lack of a sufficient number of participants.

  6. It looks like there is about a $200 per person premium for the Shana passengers. The ship holds about 1400 passengers. $280,000. Not bad for a week’s worth of probably only one or two hours a day of lie-spewing!

    • I don’t think everyone on the entire cruise will be signed up with her. I think it will be a subset of people who choose to sign up with her. So, in order for her to “host” this she would need to have a certain number of people who choose to cruise with her. She’s just trying to get a cruise for free, Like Kate Gosselin was.

      If she doesn’t get enough people only her participation will be cancelled not the entire cruise.

      • Agreed. I was just trying to imagine how Trayliar was going over it and justifying it in HER grifting little mind. BTW, who is that in the Captain Steubing hat on the poster? She is lookin’ really BAD!!

  7. What will the captain do when she devolves into her drunken antics on board in front of the passengers?
    For a solid week no less.
    Forget the lectures, come for the screaming drunken tirades.
    You suppose she will hot tub with passengers for extra cash? She is a gem in the hot tub.
    Gift Grift, it’s all sheer fun.

  8. SH since you are so clever with the art work–
    Shana should be marketing her own alcohol. Such a fit.
    Plez, plez portray Shana’s alcohol bottle with a label of her @ her drunkest/complete wreck in a meltdown.
    Every housewife should market her own brew (and most are)
    What is In a name:

  9. who would pay an x tra 200 to be near that awfull lunatic? she’s a very bad luck liability. you think she’s going to bring the kid? there’s no way she can keep it together for a week. there’s a lot of boozing usually going on during that cruise. this whole thing is just too scary.

  10. Why??? would I want to do this………….She gets paid for this stuff???? What happens to her kid while she’s on this cruise

  11. wow. shana just tweeted to someone “if your not safe, tweet dr sophy”. good ol’ shana. savin’ lives left and right with the her dedication…and twitter finger.

  12. It would be interesting to know if Shana gives a percentage (and how much), of her book sales and speaking engagements to an actual dv charity, not some fund/charity that she runs, thereby pocketing the money…

    If she isn’t charitable, then the truth of the matter is, she really is just making a buck off the back of true victims of violence. Think of all the money that she spends on herself trying to live the lifestyle, and the parties she throws for her daughter, all the money for that instant gratification could have been used elsewhere truly helping women/children in dire circumstances.

    I’d be willing to bet she pockets all the money for herself. Shana has never saved anyone in her entire life except herself! I remember at the reunion, she was so angry at Brandi for calling her out on her writing the book (it’s been like a hot minute, Ha), and started spouting of statistics about women dying, etc., as if her book was going to save all these women! Wouldn’t their money be better spent/saved by leaving said relationship than spending it on her fictional book? Shana has delusions of grandeur, as if women in dv situations are sitting around watching RHOBH and buying her book to save their lives! She is a disgusting human being and should be ashamed! Clearly, she’s not doing any of this out of her heart, but for the money!

  13. Pay a PREMIUM to float w/Grifter Bass Lips???
    This idea will follow Khate Gosselin’s cruise into the black lagoon. I’d like to meet an individual who’d even want to be on the same planet with that foolish bitch. Let’s see — cruise w/Chuckie, Khate or Bass Lips? ….”Man overboard!”

  14. I wonder if one of her tips for living the Beverly Hills lifestyle on a shoe string budget would be to “pre-game” before a party or dinner with a bottle of Listerine?

  15. Must be my Canadian naivete – but I was so sure Traylor was going down after she got called out on all her b.s. after last season. It makes me profoundly sad and so sorry for all those vulnerable women she cons ! I would so not want to be carrying around her karma – I would be “afeared” if’n I was her! Maybe there’s something we don’t know???????????

    • sarah: Yes, there is something! Besides the un-verified rumor that Shana has something on the RHOBH producer/s and/or Hagface Kyle… Shana has a contract, which is being honored. This info was sent in December amid all the TL, Russell commotion. Did not believe the sender and among other questions, asked for verification re contract… they never replied. Makes sense now. TFC!!! SH

  16. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t pitiful. I wonder how many will sign up before it’s cancelled as Kate Gosselin’s was. Umm….no, no,and NO.

  17. While no one was wildly crazy for SheShiteau I double anyone truly hated her like the venom viewers feel toward The Grifter. What is the hell is wrong w/Mandy? Why won’t he listen to us? Does he really think pimping Shana The Grifter is worth the money? I hope we all contact the advertisers to protest her unhealthy presence on the show. Surely her fruit loop drunken antics must be a basis to sever her contract.

  18. Taylor’s book is described as a novel: Readings from Taylor’s New York Times Bestselling Novel “Hiding From Reality”. She must be finally admitting she made up all that crap.

  19. How else would she isolate a bunch of dumb people into one place? What a great way to round up a bunch of shana sympathizers (aka easy marks) w/ $$ to throw away, so she can con them w/ her sob stories. She probably figures at least a few of them will end up investing in her schemes, or maybe a rich husband.

  20. This piece of shite, grifter will continue to scam, steal, LIE and manipulate as long as there is somone that will pay for crap like this! Shanna is Not charitable, this weekend in Denver she is scamming money by being the keynote speaker at event that supports True Victims of Abuse. She is being paid a Healthy Sum of Money to sell her nasty, book full of lies that is nothing more than a plea for sympathy and money. She is NO ONE to Give Advice to Anyone on Anything, Period!

    How to live the Beverly Hills Life Style on a Budget?? Are you Freakin Kidding me??
    1. Rent a House in the 90210 Zip Code, Rent Furniture to Look the Part. (Don’t worry about paying for it, you will figure out a way.
    2. Beg Wealthy BH women to be your friend. They will invite you to wonderful parties, take you on lavish trips and connect you with people who will help you scam the money you want! (wink wink)
    3. Through a lavish party for your 5 year old…$60 Thousand should do it! This will make you look like a great mom! Look sad because your husband is treating you badly (trust me on this…it will pay of later!)
    4.Buy counterfeit Berkin bags and other fake designer labels…so you look the part
    5. Hire a publicist, booking agent, psychiatrist and get on a Reality show to build your brand
    6. Rember to scam it and fake it until you make it

    • No doubt that while she’s in Denver, she’s having fun with her newly separated lawyer John Bluher. She’s such a snake, and he must be an idiot. I feel sorry for his family and the humiliation they’re going through.

  21. OH GEEEEE what do you suppose happened to cause the cancellation…better yet what lame excuse will Swine come up with.

  22. Obviously, there was little to no interest in people wanting to spend any time with Traylor-Park. If Tayliar cared at all about domestic abuse and her charity, she would take all of the abused women from the 1736 house on the cruise for free. They could use a vacation in the sun to get away from their troubles…

  23. Do you think she would have given a class on how to fit into a suitcase?
    Beauty tips? From a butt-ugly inside and out person? No thanks.

  24. I would be interested(well maybe not) to see if people would pay to see her speak in a forum or something and pay that 200 bucks. Frankly i would pay 2 cents to.

  25. I usually look at Taylor and think “I despise that woman……”.and I could go on and on, tearing her apart, chewing her up and spitting her out . Then sometimes I just stare at her and ALMOST feel sorry for her,sorry as in -MY GOD, WHAT A LOST SOUL!

    • lol. I guess so. I need to go on a cruise but would never ever go on a cruise with SWINE. My papaw is funny when my dad and step mom come back from all their cruises with pictures and stories talking it up and telling him how he oughta go sometime. He just scoffs ” Why would I want to go on a ship? I aint never lost nothin on a ship” I reckon it is sorta silly for them to think he would want to entertain himself on such a vessel seeing as how he was on a submarine during the Korean war. Yep, I reckon he has just bout seen enough of ocean. No matter how bad a day he is having with his dementia he never forgets how much he hated his Navy submarine experience. He did tell me once about the nekkid girls on the island. I don’t think he minded that near as much.

    • Day One, Cruise Schedule.
      Beauty Tip # 1: At any of our port-of-calls in beautiful Mexico, why not drop in at a cosmetic surgery shop and get a few injections in your face, lips, neck, wherever you want. I find it much more affordable than Beverley Hills and no request is ever turned down! Make sure you’ve had all your shots first, tequila that is … to take off the edge. Then come back on the ship and show off your new fabulous look. We’ll take pictures. Promise!

  26. Wellness Tip # 1: Always carry a good pair of running shoes with you (a soft pair can easily be stuffed in a Birkin bag …. I know, I know it doesn’t have to be a real Birkin, I get it). Once while visiting a park in San Diego I was literally chased by a group of baby ducks or ducklings. It was ridiculous, and I nearly sprained my ankle. The worst part is I almost (emphasize almost .. whew!) broke a heel of one of my beloved Jimmy Choos. Yes, real Jimmy Choos. Gosh, you guys are a tough crowd. People at the park were murmuring something about IMPRINTING. Anyhow, long story short … Ducks behave erratically around me and if it can happen to me … Just saying.

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