REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP: Season Five, Episode Four… “Unmoved”… AND Preview of Next Week’s RHOA…


Season Five, Episode Four… “Unmoved”

by Sandi Duffy

If Atlanta doesn’t step things up, this may be my last recap.  This show is boring me to tears and I’m really finding these women unlikable…and oh hell, we are starting with Kim, who I can’t stand.  All she does is whine, complain, curse and act entitled.  I never saw anyone who did so little behave like they are so entitled.  Then she’s yelling at Sweetie that it takes a lot to look like “this.”  “This” looks about 15 years older than she claims to be.

Kandi called it when she says she is confused by this eviction that Kim claims is not an eviction.  That’s right, Kandi. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Kandi is moving into her new home and this is a painfully boring storyline.  If Kandi starts whining and acting all entitled, I’m out.

Back to Kim harassing her movers.  Why the hell can’t Kim pack her own crap?  Oh right, because she’s a lazy bitch.

We are back to Kandi, who isn’t cursing and acting all entitled, and I feel like I’m watching that scene in The Godfather where Al Pacino is standing as Godfather to his nephew and telling the priest he rejects Satan, while the next scene shows him having all his enemies taken out.

Nene calls a spade a spade.  Kim couldn’t afford the damn house, just admit it.

Next we have Phaedra, her hot husband and her little boy, Ayden.  I can’t get enough of that little cutie, who is going for his first haircut.  If it’s going to be anything like my son’s first haircut, Ayden will scream and cry through the whole ordeal.  Ayden is about to turn two, which means only one thing.  One of Phaedra’s over-the-top parties.  She claims Apollo is a “master barber”.  What the hell is the difference between a barber and a master barber?  OK, Phaedra, Apollo is an ex-con, not a master barber; not a master personal trainer.  OMG, this little boy is so cute, I could eat him up.

Porsha rehashes the Kenya feud with her husband and neither one of them, much like the rest of us, can figure out the whole Miss USA vs. Miss America thing.  It’s kind of hilarious how they have no clue which she won and what the difference is.  Porsha keeps calling her an “older lady”, and as an “older lady” I should resent it, but I find it funny.  So far, Porsha seems just dumb enough to be entertaining.

Kenya take her aunt to meet her “boyfriend” Walter.  I put “boyfriend” in quotes, much the same way I put “psychic” in quotes because I don’t believe either are real.

Kenya’s cousin seems much more interesting than Kenya.  Why isn’t Che on the show?

Poor Walter is being grilled about marriage.  I think I like Walter.  I also think Kenya gets more unattractive in each episode.

Oh hells bells, Dwight and his Michael Jackson nose are back.  In typical over-the-top Phaedra fashion, she holds Ayden’s second birthday party at the Atlanta aquarium with a freakin’ marching band, and a full size Thomas the Train.  To paraphrase Lisa Vanderpump, whatever happened to cake, ice cream and pin the tail on the donkey?   I know I said it before, but that little Ayden is so freakin’ adorable.  I think he’s my favorite housewife child.

Kim rudely calls the day of the party, while the party is taking place, to say she’s not coming.  I hate when people don’t RSVP, or do it at the last minute.  How much does it take to make a damn phone call.  Every year, I never cease to be surprised by the number of people who don’t RSVP to my kids’ birthday parties.  What is wrong with people?

Ayden’s party comes complete with some really weird dolphin show.  I like dolphin’s as much as the next person, but that show was creepy, and all Ayden wants to do is go to sleep.

Back to Kim and packing.  At this point, I’m ready to throw my shoe at the television.  Kandi TTCs that Kim is a Falcon football player’s wife and she needed to move quietly and not embarrass him by making it all so public.  Kroy seems so clueless about what a  horror he married.  I bet his mother isn’t clueless though.  I bet that poor woman cries herself to sleep every night.

I forgot about Cynthia.   Her and Nene are sitting in a park, I assume to gossip, or to hear Nene talk about how great Nene is.  Nene cracks me up when she imitates Kim and her ridiculous excuses and goes on that the house is haunted and that’s why she’s moving out.  Nene made me laugh at that one.

Nene gets a hold of a recording of Phaedra talking about Cynthia.  I guess Phaedra at some point made a deal about how she doesn’t curse and she’s caught using the f-bomb.  Because Cynthia desperately needs a storyline that doesn’t include being Nene’s bitch, she’s going to call Phaedra out on this.

Porsha and her sister go rock climbing and her sister doesn’t seem nearly as dumb as she is.  I say we get rid of Porsha and Kenya and cast Porsha’s sister and Kenya’s cousin.

Kenya is “making dinner” by throwing frozen food in the microwave and making her pots and pans look dirty like she’s really been cooking.  Kenya goes on and on lying to Walter about how much time it took to make the meal.  Um, Kenya you pulled the crap out of the bags and put it in the microwave in front of the cameras.  Did you think you weren’t going to get caught?

Kenya talks about being pregnant, having kids, ovulating.  Why hasn’t this guy run for his life yet?

Phaedra and Cynthia have a sit down.  These housewives have more sit downs than the Mafia.

Phaedra denies saying she doesn’t give a f—k if Cyhtnia comes to Ayden’s party.  Phaedra is totally lying because she was recorded.  Phaedra should be a politician.  Deny, deny, deny.  Deflect, deflect, deflect.  Phaedra may very well become the next governor of Georgia.

Back to Kim moving back into her townhouse, the one gifted to her by her married boyfriend.

I’m done with her and her whining and her potty mouth.

Preview of next week’s RHOA…

About these ads

76 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP: Season Five, Episode Four… “Unmoved”… AND Preview of Next Week’s RHOA…

  1. Thank you Jesus for your saying that you’re bored with ATL. I will NOT watch it due to the nonstop negative, loud yapping. DONE!

  2. Kim is truly unwatchable, unbearable and unbelievably stupid x infinity. This chick is getting her own show? Way to go Bravo. I want to watch a surgically enhanced tramp with a potty mouth and less class than a meth addicted hillbilly living in a trailer park . I was entertained for about 2 seconds watching her wig slide down her forehead. I have a charity project Atlanta Housewives! Why not have a fundraiser to buy Kim a brain? I wouldn’t trust her with matches much less 4 children. She just looks rank and in need of a good scrubbing.

    • She’s a nurse. RN??? I wish there was a poll for most hated HW. She doesn’t have the sense or integrity to get a four year degree. We can all figure out what a due date should be. Nene said that. If that’s her story line. Gag! Please I hope this woman has the Bravo boot already. Get off my TV.

        • I need the sarcasm button. She is insulting to all RN’s and LPN’s. Thanks Ms SH. I don’t want anyone reading to get it twisted!

      • Kim is just an lpn, which is just a short program. To be an rn, she woulda had to take the biology classes and finish a 2 yr program, and to be a bsn, she woulda had to take a lot of other pre-reqs like psych and sociology. No way could she have hacked all that, I know cuz I’m doing it now.

          • Thanks ChemGeek! Ya, there’s no whining in nursing, I expect to see patients with much more to worry about than a microbiology paper, to me the glass is always half full! (And my Chem prof was a monotone Russian guy with a thick accent who just stared at you blankly if you asked a question, but I still managed an A, lol).

            • Great job in chemistry, particularly with the no-answer professor (I hate when profs do that and it is becoming a huge problem with some of my colleagues smh). I have nothing but respect for nurses because their program is incredibly difficult and I see the honest effort and determination. Kim would be whining for nap time, screaming for sWEEETIE (or whoever her “slave” of the week was) and probably trying to sleep with the prof for an “A”.

  3. On the advertisement for WWHL, Andy said, “We have Kenya Moore. Don’t call her Miss U.S.A…I mean…America…Miss America”

    …and I don’t know if that was supposed to be funny. The ONLY reason I am watching WWHL is to watch KrazeeEyeKenya in hopes that it is more entertaining than RHOA.

  4. Nene was at least amusing when doing riffs on Kim and the loss of her Barbie Dream House. Is it me or are the words “My dream house” a curse? Or the fricking kiss of death? Cynthia gets on my next to the last nerve. B-o-r-i-n-g. Phakedra and the birthday party is little to do with the adorable Aiden and everything to do with her ego. Note to Kenya go get a sperm donor asap and quit acting like a bunny boiler with rohypnol and a gun in your purse. Porsha is cute but the dumb comments are off putting.

      • Thanks. Crazy holidays but so much fun. Oldest D made me close my eyes and then check out my seat at the dining table. She was so excited and grinning from ear to ear. I picked up a glossy art book and surprise ! She is now published! At least her reviews of works of art are published in collaboration with other critics. I was in complete shock and embarrassed myself by crying like a baby about my baby’s accomplishments. I am so proud of her……

        • Sooooo happy to hear this. I teared up a bit too just imagining the scene. Way to go Aint! Tell your daughter congrats for me.

          • Thanks to everyone from the bottom of my heart. Made , I Hope You Dance , is one of my all time faves. It fits perfectly. babygirl has struggled mightily with speech and attention deficit disorder. I always believed that she was gifted and brilliant as all mothers do and with a mother’s hopeful heart. Never give up on your kids that is my take-away. The book is on my mantel and I tear up looking at it because it is a .testament to her achievements and concrete hope all those who are trapped without a voice and looking for translation.

            • The song has special meaning for me and my daughter too so somehow I just knew. I bet we have a very similar story concerning those struggles. Sylvan in 7th grade because she was reading at 4th grade level… no real pinpoint diagnosis. She just pushed on through and did it. And now she is in college. And above all that I think I am most proud of her work ethic. She still lives home with us but always makes sure she works as many shifts as possible… fills in for people… different tasks.. she doesn’t complain and is ALWAYS at least 15 minuted early to work. She has a goal and she refuses to be deterred. She knows to be grateful for her job no matter what it is and is motivated to not let the ones that gave her the job down. Perhaps this is because of her struggles in school that she learned that she had to work twice as hard and she is willing to do it when most people would just give up and go with status quo. Whatever it is, I am in awe of her. Every day.

            • Wow this is all eerily familiar Made. D had math tutors all through HS and even at University.D has the same great work ethic and was always independent. She worked at a small bistro on campus from High School until her sophomore year in college. D moved into one of her grandparents rental properties while in college and that taught her so much about budgeting and decorating a home plus that is when her interest in cooking and baking started. She learned rather rapidly that a casserole, a pan of lasagne or a pot of soup was the key to stretching your food budget. We used to laugh about her cooking skills but she is amazing now. She spent her senior year in France and came home with a great repertoire of recipes and a knowledge of wine . Everything she chose to do and every path she set her feet on have added experiences and knowledge that help her in her present career. I know your daughter will be a huge success. Somehow a few obstacles have the effect of strengthening their resolve and determination. I am so proud of your D and I don’t even know her personally but she must be a lovely young woman.

    • The two newest addition have totally put me off. Two airheads starting nonsense about…air. I would recommend to a teenager but they probably wouldn’t watch. Silly women. Cynthia is no linger the stoopidest. These chicks give floozie a new meaning.

      • I vote dumb as a bag of hair. he is gross. Who would sit there and let the Hormoan about her ovaries. Please most sane men would exit stage left as fast as their feet would carry them..

  5. Walter hasn’t “run for his life” from has-been Kenya because sadly, he views her as a meal-ticket. That guy is a total loser–I’d love to see what a background check would reveal about him. He must be in dire financial or legal straits (or a publicity whore) to associate with Kenya.

    • I wouldn’t want to marry a dude that didnt know the difference between store bought and homemade dinner. I think Walter dont care enough to even call her on it. If Kenda isnt pullin our leg playing the vapid villain then she would make a horrid stepmom.

  6. Why would Phaedra take Ayden to get his hair cut in tight ass white jeans and hold him without a cap over both of them.Taking the boys shirt off does not help all the falling hair.That grossed me out.If Apollo can cut hair why take him to a barber.Someone has been cutting his hair in those 2 years prior.Not buying the haircut scene.That should have been the dad’s job to take him there not the moms.

    • I’m just curious when you said it’s the Dad’s job to take the child for a haircut. I go to a “Haircuttery” type of place for my haircuts, and I often see Moms with their little boys there for haircuts.

    • The sucker during the haircut was a bit much for me. When I used to do hair I would try to schedule same time as mommy or daddy’s and allow for extra time. Whoever holds the child wears a cape too AND I usually start with the parent (especially if its a dad and clippers are involved) Then the child is more accustom to the sound or if no clippers the idea that scissors cutting hair doesn’t hurt mommy or daddy. Then we may have to do it in stages until eventually the child is siting on his/her own on the booster bar. I always needed a good hour to decompress after a child’s first haircut. This is a cute baby’s first haircut song. She has a sucker too. Must be a new thang :)

  7. Phaedra is teaching her child lousy values with the over-the-top parties, just like Taylor did with her $60K (or whatever it was) party for Kennedy when she knew that she and Russell didn’t have a pot to pi$$ in. I feel so sorry for the kids, with those vile and vulgar parents.

    • It is a disease that has spread and infected regular middle class parents. Grandchild went to a birthday party recently with clown,s petting zoo, bounce house and firefighters bringing the cake on a genuine firetruck. Whatever happened to Chuckiecheeze?

      • No kidding! We had a few friends over, with homemade pizza, a homemade cake and when I was old enough, a few of my friends could sleepover. I laughed so hard when Phaedra said, “It’s not a birthday party. It’s an event!” Umm… most memories are not stored until one is around 4 years of age. Ayden will never remember the dolphin show. It is so ridiculous that I cannot stop laughing about this SeaWorld meets Broadway show.

        • When you see elaborate parties for toddlers that are so over the top you have to question who the party is really for! Aiden is just darling but probably have enjoyed a family party just as much.

        • Oh @chem, how right you are about memories. I realized too late that I could have taken my kids on a few less disney trips, since they had no memory whatsoever. I guess they were having fun at the time and their brains were stimulated but we probably could have eliminated at least a few of those excursions.
          The birthday party stuff is out of control. That many activities and kids just get overwhelmed. Better to have hamburgers and a slip ‘n slide. Those were my kids favorites.
          Oh…and one year we gave boobie prizes as well as first place prizes for games. Biggest hit ever with 4th to 5th grade boys. Things like a can of catfood, a diaper etc. They got a kick out of them and actually fought over the boobie prizes.

        • Gabe joked that he was gonna go over and ask if he could get in it just to see the looks on their face. They are gracious people. Prolly would have let him do it too.

        • At least bouncies are fun for the kids, and not too expensive to rent. In my town, the bouncy princess house and a cotton candy machine rents for just 280$. I told my three year old she can have it when she is in grade school and we can invite the whole class, so it’s worth the 280$… Maybe I can even charge admission…lol.

          • IMO now it is a competition between parents. Kel you are right to wait until grade school. It seems to be a vicious cycle of bigger and more extravagant with each birthday. A family member had a 1st birthday party for grandniece and badgered us endlessly to make the two hour drive to attend. I have never seen such a tacky display of over the top stupidity in my life. Probably 50 people there . Mostly aging hipsters. The guy in the tweed driving cap. thick sweater and denim capris dressed identically to his 2 year old was just wrong on so many levels. The birthday girl was all but forgotten as Mommy circulated grabbing her chance at the spotlight. Plastic tubs overflowed with candy, a creepy clown and a giant bouncy castle plus two margarita machines and huge tub of beer. Tacky, IMO to serve alcohol especially as a group of parents congregated around the drinks and never left unless to grab another beverage. Birthday girl was lost in the shuffle. Never again for me.Just sad.

            • I will never understand having alcohol at a child’s party. First of all, you are serving people that are going to turn around and drive kids home. And secondly, I just don’t get people who can drink while their kids are awake and running around. I would be paranoid that my kid would get hurt or need me and I’d be not watching them or attending to them if I was tipsy. How the heck do you take your kid to the ER if God forbid, they get hurt, and you are reeking of booze? I guess I am just too paranoid to really ever drink while watching my kid.

  8. Kenya is an EX Miss USA that no one cares about after all these years.She is a self absorbed bitch that thinks she is entitled like Kim.Walter better run while he can.

  9. Kim is just awful.Sweetie is nasty looking black trash with all that weave covering her face.You know she did not have all the “$40k” of shrubs dug up.Bravo paid for them and that would have destroyed the ladnscaping.The moving truck was barely full.Her life is boring.She turned on her parents and is nohing but a vulgar broke ass whore.Big Papa bought the townhouse.Most of what she has Big Papa bought.Funny to watch trashy ass Sweetie eating takout with a “Gold” fork.

  10. Kim is gross. I remember when I heard how old she is, I was shocked. She is so ridiculous with that wig and the Miss Piggy makeup, idk how anyone could think she is a day under 45.

  11. Highlight of the night: Adien’s first haircut. So cute and sumpin new that RH has never done.
    Funny of the night: Porsha saying it was a fraudulent slip.

    • This is true. Poor Cynthia was rewarded for her RSVP with a buttdial. Not very ladylike. But then again a bug bite on the boobie is sumpin all southern gals that go ’round town with their tts hangin out is bound to have to deal with sooner or later ;)

  12. Any way to find out Kim’s real age?? I can almost bet my last dollar she is lieing about it by AT LEAST 5 years, but would guess ten!

    • She’s allegedly three years older than I am and I’m not buying it. Why oh why does she need to wear so much makeup when all she does is lay around in sweats.

      Maybe it’s the heavy makeup that ages her? The way she screams nonstop? The smoking and drinking? Whatever problem she had with her health (it wasn’t cancer but maybe a growth in her thyroid)? Whatever is going on, Kim looks so rough that she is ruff, ruff!

  13. Loved this recap (as usual!) every single point was perfectly said. Kendra Davis’s twitter was entertaining tonight…..Kim’s wasn’t. Kim is such a liar I just can’t take it – so happy she got FIRED. I can’t stand to watch her eat, bitch, waddle, brag, lie any more. I pray her stupid spinoff never makes the airwaves. And I just read that her dream house they’re building – LIE – no record of Her/Kroy purchasing any land, etc. I knew she was lying cause honey if it were true, she would have been bitchin and bragging putting pictures on twitter. She was evicted with 90 day notice and is a dumbass liar. Her amex bills were a lie as well. They are currently in a court battle with Kindra for all the $$ they owe her and quite a few creditors as well. She is a complete waste of space and doesn’t have any money SHE honestly earned – except on her back with BigPapa, the sicko from Florida and dumbass Kroy. I see her daughters are as lazy and acting more and mote like mommy.

    • I loved it when Nene called her out and said that the real reason why she couldn’t get the house was because of her poor credit score, I LMAO because you know it is the truth.
      BTW did Kim said that she would show her Amex records? Did she pay rent with a credit card? Never heard of that one.
      I haven’t seen Kendra’s tweets but I bet she was upset about the flowers and the trees, it is in almost all contracts what whatever improvements a renter does to the property, stays with the property. Kim might be in trouble over that one, but I bet that Kendra was so happy to see her go that she just let that one slid by.

      • Yeah paying her rent on credit card was prolly reason her credit was in the crapper. Doubt she paid Amex in full each month.

      • NeNe had a big ole pot she was a stirrin’ on this episode huh?!

        I’m so glad to see she just laughs at everyone (blog) and doesn’t trifle with the hatin’. ;)

  14. ayden didn’t even look like he needed a haircut. if apollo is a barber, why take ayden at all? buy what you need and have it in the house and don’t unnecessarily trumatize the child. as for the ridiculous birthday parties, no wonder some kids grow up with a huge sense of entitlement.

  15. I’m late to this party, but here it goes…..Kim was just plain trashy, her f-bombs, her weak excuses, the house is haunted, yeah haunted alright, the ghosts where your wigs when everyone is asleep.
    I would of have liked to see Phadra own more of her missed butt dial/voicemail regarding Cynthia instead of some bug bitting her boobs? Kenyuk, what can I say….if she left the show tomorrow I would be fine with that; again Run Walter Run!

Comments are closed.