REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP
Season Five, Episode Two… “Excess Breeds Success”
by Sandi Duffy
I’m a latecomer to The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I started watching it the season Phaedra entered the show. I think Phaedra is over-the-top hilarious. She’s at her best when she TTCs and I could watch an entire show of Phaedra’s commentary.
I don’t get Nene at all. Girlfriend has had a boatload of plastic surgery and I still find her unattractive enough to be part of the cast of the Shahs of Sunset. I’ve seen the show The New Normal once. It’s a white trash version of Modern Family and Nene plays herself. Of course, many actresses have won Oscars for playing themselves…Angelina Jolie winning an Oscar from playing a nutjob in Girl Interrupted comes to mind.
This episode opens with Nene and her son in LA. Nene thinks she’s a big star now. She’s not. Nene is going to be part of some gay pride parade which makes sense because she looks like a drag queen.
Kandi and Phaedra meet for lunch and Kenya Moore is joining them. Kenya’s claim to fame is having been Miss USA about 50 year ago. Raise your hand if you ever heard of her. That’s what I thought. From what I’ve seen in the scenes Kenya is batshit crazy and as a blogger, I love me some batshit cray cray. Kandi is looking really good. I like the longer wig and it looks like she lost some weight.
Phaedra does it again and TTCs that Kenya having security with her is hilarious.
Next we have Kim and I have no tolerance for Kim. I find her disgusting and that poor hick, bastard Kroy was sucked into her vortex. His mother must cry herself to sleep every night. Kim has spent her adult life living off of rich men.
Kenya’s aunt comes to visit her with flowers and Kenya quips, “Walmart special.” Ingrate. I like Kenya’s aunt. She tells it like it is. Actually, Kenya’s aunt reminds me of my mom…I guess that’s why I like her. I find myself wondering how Kenya can cry and her make-up doesn’t run, or her false eyelashes don’t start to fall off.
Phaedra and Cynthia go to the gym. Phaedra is obsessed with her “donkey booty”. Nene joins them. I think Cynthia is more attractive than former Miss USA Kenya. She’s also as dumb as a box of rocks, so it’s probably a good thing she’s pretty. I have to say, I think I broke a rib laughing watching last week’s episode when I found out Cynthia was home schooling her daughter. I’m not sure Cynthia knows her multiplication tables, let alone teach an eighth grader what she needs to know. Apparently Cynthia’s baby daddy knows she’s dumb, too because he was pissed she was home schooling his daughter.
Talk turns to Kenya. Nene nails it when she points out it was a long time ago that Kenya was Miss USA.
Kroy plans a romantic dinner for Kim for her birthday. My heart breaks for that poor SOB Kroy. He seems like such a nice and genuine guy. Why Kroy, why? How did this happen to you? Didn’t anyone warn you away from this woman?
Kenya goes out to eat with her man, Walter. Kenya has some bad skin. She is really pushing this guy to get married and have kids. Kenya, you’re 41–freeze some of those eggs now before it’s too late. Walter reveals that he once asked Kandi out and she turned him down. Kenya makes a huge deal out of it. Kenya is high maintenance, emotionally. Run, Walter, Run. It’s too late for Kroy, but not for you.
Kandi is moving into her dream home with her new man. He’s gives Apollo a run for the money in the looks department. I also suspect he gives Apollo a run for the money in the living off his woman department.
Phaedra is very encouraging about Kandi’s new home, unlike Kim who was a total bitch about Kandi’s home. She’s probably just jealous that Kandi paid for it all herself, and didn’t have it gifted to her from some rich old man she was screwing.
Kenya shows up to Nene’s party wrapped in a sheet. Kim is invited to Nene’s party and actually show up…which means Bravo made Nene invite her and made Kim attend. Nene is two hours late to her own party. I just realized that apparently everyone is wearing sheets or curtains to this party.
Kenya keeps telling Kandi and Phaedra she loves them. Then she takes over the microphone from Cynthia.
The cray-cray is showing it’s ugly head.
NOTE: So glad that Sandi is back!!!