REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA RECAP
Season Five, Episode Two… “Excess Breeds Success”
by Sandi Duffy
I’m a latecomer to The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I started watching it the season Phaedra entered the show. I think Phaedra is over-the-top hilarious. She’s at her best when she TTCs and I could watch an entire show of Phaedra’s commentary.
I don’t get Nene at all. Girlfriend has had a boatload of plastic surgery and I still find her unattractive enough to be part of the cast of the Shahs of Sunset. I’ve seen the show The New Normal once. It’s a white trash version of Modern Family and Nene plays herself. Of course, many actresses have won Oscars for playing themselves…Angelina Jolie winning an Oscar from playing a nutjob in Girl Interrupted comes to mind.
This episode opens with Nene and her son in LA. Nene thinks she’s a big star now. She’s not. Nene is going to be part of some gay pride parade which makes sense because she looks like a drag queen.
Kandi and Phaedra meet for lunch and Kenya Moore is joining them. Kenya’s claim to fame is having been Miss USA about 50 year ago. Raise your hand if you ever heard of her. That’s what I thought. From what I’ve seen in the scenes Kenya is batshit crazy and as a blogger, I love me some batshit cray cray. Kandi is looking really good. I like the longer wig and it looks like she lost some weight.
Phaedra does it again and TTCs that Kenya having security with her is hilarious.
Next we have Kim and I have no tolerance for Kim. I find her disgusting and that poor hick, bastard Kroy was sucked into her vortex. His mother must cry herself to sleep every night. Kim has spent her adult life living off of rich men.
Kenya’s aunt comes to visit her with flowers and Kenya quips, “Walmart special.” Ingrate. I like Kenya’s aunt. She tells it like it is. Actually, Kenya’s aunt reminds me of my mom…I guess that’s why I like her. I find myself wondering how Kenya can cry and her make-up doesn’t run, or her false eyelashes don’t start to fall off.
Phaedra and Cynthia go to the gym. Phaedra is obsessed with her “donkey booty”. Nene joins them. I think Cynthia is more attractive than former Miss USA Kenya. She’s also as dumb as a box of rocks, so it’s probably a good thing she’s pretty. I have to say, I think I broke a rib laughing watching last week’s episode when I found out Cynthia was home schooling her daughter. I’m not sure Cynthia knows her multiplication tables, let alone teach an eighth grader what she needs to know. Apparently Cynthia’s baby daddy knows she’s dumb, too because he was pissed she was home schooling his daughter.
Talk turns to Kenya. Nene nails it when she points out it was a long time ago that Kenya was Miss USA.
Kroy plans a romantic dinner for Kim for her birthday. My heart breaks for that poor SOB Kroy. He seems like such a nice and genuine guy. Why Kroy, why? How did this happen to you? Didn’t anyone warn you away from this woman?
Kenya goes out to eat with her man, Walter. Kenya has some bad skin. She is really pushing this guy to get married and have kids. Kenya, you’re 41–freeze some of those eggs now before it’s too late. Walter reveals that he once asked Kandi out and she turned him down. Kenya makes a huge deal out of it. Kenya is high maintenance, emotionally. Run, Walter, Run. It’s too late for Kroy, but not for you.
Kandi is moving into her dream home with her new man. He’s gives Apollo a run for the money in the looks department. I also suspect he gives Apollo a run for the money in the living off his woman department.
Phaedra is very encouraging about Kandi’s new home, unlike Kim who was a total bitch about Kandi’s home. She’s probably just jealous that Kandi paid for it all herself, and didn’t have it gifted to her from some rich old man she was screwing.
Kenya shows up to Nene’s party wrapped in a sheet. Kim is invited to Nene’s party and actually show up…which means Bravo made Nene invite her and made Kim attend. Nene is two hours late to her own party. I just realized that apparently everyone is wearing sheets or curtains to this party.
Kenya keeps telling Kandi and Phaedra she loves them. Then she takes over the microphone from Cynthia.
The cray-cray is showing it’s ugly head.
NOTE: So glad that Sandi is back!!!
Next RHOA…
I haven’t seen the show yet so I won’t pass any judgement except what I said about Kim and Kroy in an earlier post.
Barb I like Kroy, Kim not so much. As a mother, sister and woman, I would lose my mind if my son hooked up with someone like Kim. I hope she really does love Kroy for better or for worse and doesn’t run out on him once his money is gone.
In an earlier season, you saw her parents helping Kim out. Then she disses them because all they send is a $25 check to her son. If that is all they can afford, then that is all they can afford. Kim is so wrapped up in herself and its sickening. I hope they kick her off soon. I can’t stand watching her anymore. Kandi’s house is to die for. How dare she come in and make negative remarks. And she needs to stop using the pregnancy as an excuse for everything she doesn’t want to do. For heavens sake, it is your fourth child, get over it.
ITA. $25 will buy a great toy for the kid. Shut up Kim and be grateful.
Kim is awful but I sense her parents at a lot to do with creating the Kim we see now. Her mother seems absolutely awful and her father creeps me out. It struck me during her little spin off that the mother either had a drinking issue or maybe some sort of eating disorder. I doubt there were normal dynamics in that family hence Kim is the trainwreck we now see.
You’re probably right, Kiki. Father big time creepy and mother a little off, but still Kim shouldn’t have belittled their $25 gift.
I agree about it being poor taste to belittle the gift because of the cost. I think since Kim isn’t too bright and loves money more than anything calling a gift cheap is the ultimate coming from her.
Umm the party was supposed to be for empowered women. Can anyone tell me why Kim or Sweetie were there. Kim has the power of the pootie tang and does nothing else to better society. Sweetie runs around like Kim’s maid and not her friend/assistant.
I was dying when KJ didn’t want to go with his nanny, probably because he never sees his mamma. Also why talk to KJ on the baby monitor, as a parent wouldn’t you prefer to hold and spend time with them.
Kenya is one crazy ass bitch. She might just rival Jackass.
I know right. Kim profession is hustling men. With the rest of the women we have, NeNe (upcoming asktress), Kenya (Miss USA Winner), Kandi (singer and songwriter), Phaedra (Lawyer and future Mortician) and Cynthia (a supermodel).
But she left after 5 seconds when the party started.
To me the weirdest thing about the monitor was Kim yapping about how many blowjobs she owes Kroy. Especially since KJ is getting to that age where he is learning to talk and you never know what word or phrase he will choose to make his new favorite thing to say. I have a friend who always swore around her baby because she thought he was too young to know what it meant. She wasn’t prepared when suddenly she had a little cherubic little child who was happily babble and then say, ” Shit, Shit Shit, Shit!!!!”
Welcome back Sandi, Hope all is well! Kenya is so cra cra I almost think she is a Bravo robot…she just follows the script too closely to appear real. now I’m sounding crazy!
Kim will be sucking that dumb Kroy dry for the rest of his life. And the party Cyn threw for Nene was so embarrassingly dumb that even Nene didn’t wanna go. And Kandi keeps talking dumb that she and her man paid cash for her new home etc. when we all know she has paid for everything and is in la-la land for now; dumb. And then there’s mean ole ugly Kenya with probably the last man in the world who would want to take her out and she suffers a severe ego burst knowing Kandi wouldn’t date him; can she ever recover? How dumb. These women are just acting so dumb it’s hard to watch.
kornfedkroy even if he manages to wise up and dump kim he is forever tied to her with the babies she pops out like she was a human pez dispenser.
Lisa you know she had to pop them out fast. Obviously Big Poppa got snipped, so she had to find somebody dumb enough to fall for the okie doke!!! Kroy, ya big dummy(as Redd Foxx would say)!!
well yes its on page 11 of the goldigger hobag manuel.
Why was I asleep when you were popping out these gems of wisdom Lisa.? Love ya!
Happy to see you back! You better buckle because it’s going to be one hell of a ride!
The term “donkey booty” is so repulsive to me. The mental image — all I can see is the actual animal’s rump in my mind when she says that. And animals usually don’t smell all that great. Bizarre that she insists on describing herself that way.
I think it comes from the term badonkadonk. And maybe that comes from the sound that it supposedly makes as it swishes into a room???? Now that you mentioned it though it is a weird way to refer to a human female hind end.
Maybe. It’s just not a flattering description, especially because Phaedra’s figure is so bottom heavy and actually does resemble a donkey when you think about it.
you forgot to accuse her of having 40 cats.
I like Sandi’s reviews and her opinions they match my own eps the ones about the slutpig Kimz
Yeah, same here. Sandi is stating her opinion, not yours. You are free to state your own also.
Good job Sandi! I thought it was hilarious!
I wonder if @ princesspr64 follow’s these two on twitter. She would be fighting with a
bunch of tweeters.
Someone tweeted, i just want to WASH Kenya’s face…that’s all…#RHOA” <Then apply some Proactivel. lmao
Did anyone notice Cynthias baby daddy is Leon from Cool Runnings?!?!?! Blew my mind.
No I didn’t know that, I love that movie just watched it a month or so ago. I think Leon and Cynthia are a far better couple than Peter and Cynthia. I just don’t like Peter’s attitude at all.
I agree Cynthia and Leon have undeniable chemistry . Peter is an opportunist .
Agreed!!!
But Peter is one good looking man, I think.
@Ariel — Yes, now that you mention it!
I do not like Kenya with her greasy a** face!!!! Ewww her skin is horrendous!!
I had a hard time concentrating on her “scene” because of her skin.
Made me wonder what’s going on with her hormones for her to be breaking out like that — especially since she’s talking about getting pregnant.
I would swear Kenya has cracked out meth skin but she isn’t rail thin and missing teefs. Kenya is so crazy she is repellant.
i don’t think kenya is any crazier than kimora lee simons or tyra banks. not saying she’s at their level of fame but…that is how those ladies would act socially and you know it.
ITA 100% with the review-and was surprised Kenya’s date make a run for the restroom and out the window!!
Kenya is coyote ugly inside and out. Any sane man would chew an appendage off to escape Kenya’s man trap. Her face looks like 100 miles of bad road. She is one hot boiling mess of peanuts with extensions.
Yes! What is wrong with her? I feel like Kenya could stalk and kill Kandi and she’d do it all because her man asked Kandi out back in the day. Bravo would love it. Kenya’s eyes became extra tweaky and charged during that dinner conversation. It was scary. She is not good looking and she is certainly not polite or classy.
Clearly something is wrong with me…. I teared up when Nene started to tear up. She is A LOT but when I think about her background and what her life is like now ( plus how fame was her lifelong dream) I get how overwhelming it must feel to be asked to be in a parade, with people wanting to see you, while realizing you are on two shows. Yes she loves herself and is excessive but there seemed to be something genuine there….. or maybe I have just lost my mind.
Then there is something wrong with me too, because I teared up as well. It was a really genuine moment and NeNe was truly humbled by the response she received at the parade. I was really happy for her.
Well my tear up moment with NeNe came when I saw how she handled Kim. NeNe was not about to let Kim get her back down to gutter level. I was proud of ole girl. Good on ya NeNe.
Nene needs to let her humanity show more often rather than playing a stereotypical HW. Leave the crazy to Kenya. ITA with Made regarding the olive branch Nene extended to Kim. Kim is an insecure monster. The new babies are simply future child support checks to Kim. “I’m tired, I can’t have my wine”. Kim is a one note whiner without a mute button.
Yeah Kim was a real horses ass last night. NeNe showed her up big time in the class department. Good grief did I just say that? laws a mercy.
I cannot for the life of me understand the attraction to Kim. She has no redeeming qualities and the wigs at her age just look ridiculous. She must put out some overpowering pheromones or P.O. . Of course it helps that Kroy as sweet as he is , just fell off the turnip truck and landed right in Kim’s lap and bank account.
They do make a purdy baby though. Could just eat him up.
Whew glad to see I wasn’t the only one….thought I might be losing my edge
Luckily when I watched the BH ladies tonight I saw that I hadn’t softened towards she who shan’t be named so now I am feeling like a reasonable lady again. Aint Pitty Pat I also don’t see the appeal of Kim…. luckily her daughters have a better chance of turning out well with Kroy around so hopefully he stays around. And Made I agree KJ is so edible!
Aint — you said what I’ve been thinking.
yea my heart fluttered in the convo btwn her and ryan murphy. i’d love to hang w/ those 2! he is such a sweet, funny man.
I really enjoyed Sandi Duffy’s recap, it is hiliariousI I did notice Nene asking the question about when Kenya was Miss Usa ( year) and then at the party Cynthia ( no backbone) doesnt say anything to Kenya but at the end when Nene and Kenya are talking Cynthia ( knowing Nene is there & almost standing behind her) then ask’s the same question Nene asked before (at the gym) to Kenya ” um what year were you Miss Usa?
Dont get me wrong, I think Kenya is cra-cra, but she can spot a leopard, who changes her spots.
Well Cynthia did that after Kenya totally disrespected her by taking the mic and basically called Cynthia a clown. Kenya is so jealous of Cynthia it’s ridiculous and Cynthia can see right through her and she knows it.
And the whole time Cynthia was talking she was making disingenuous comments to Kandi and Phearda about how she was gonna through them parties and she loved them. You could tell that they were sooooo uncomfortable with her behavior.
Kenya is a total clown and should be ashamed of how she is coming off on tv. Cynthia didn’t start the mess but she best to end it. I would have shoved her ass into that pool.
I know. She is horrid. But perhaps she is just playing a part. I am gonna tell myself that. She IS an actress. And RHOA needed a villain since NeNe is taking the high road as of late
Made I am olf the mindset that even if you need that check you still need to keep some part of your dignity intact. Granted she might be an “actress” but these are things that will be out there and can never be taken back. It definitely changes the way people percieve you. If she is a “business woman” she should know she needs to think about her real career/enterprises.
Agreed – Kenya is a total clown.
Great recap Sand!!! I love it. Kenya should have just left out her Miss USA reign. She HAS been in movies since then and it WAS a looooong time ago. I am trying to figure out if she is REALLY that rude and crazy or is she just trying HAAAAAAARD to fill NeNe’s old shoes since NeNe aint the bish no more. That stunt she pulled on her boyfriend at the restaurant was middleschool . Surely she HAS to know this. She is a bit long in the tooth to be thinking that that’s how grown women behave.
I loved how Kenya’s aunt called her plans to decorate with movie posters and covers “a little narcissistic.” Sounds like the aunt is totally grounded.
OMG…..who is this KenYAK? What a piece of work this one! Rude as all get out! As far as Nene running into Kim, it was nice to see Nene stay calm, I think Kim could of made the effort to stay for a few minutes, but that Kim. KenYak, has some major issues, when she was having lunch with Walter, he should have run, run like Forest Gump.
God I wish they would just get rid of Kim already, I really cannot find anything decent in her. Now is it just me or does anyone else find it very rude to plan an event for 6pm and show up at 7pm like Cynthia and 8pm like NeNe, I mean the guest of honor showing a little later then the guests is ok to make sure everyone is there before you come, but 2 hours i would have left also. Worse then that is the host Cynthia showing up and hour late, well from where I come from that is just not done, miss manners, Ann landers and Martha Stewart would have a field day with that letter. The new housewife Kenya is batshit crazy, who takes the microphone at an event and just starts talking crap, this one’s got more then a few screws loose.
Sandy , thanks for a stellar recap. You rock girl!
OT To all the Veterans out there…We Thank You so very much for your service, dedication, and lives to protect all of us, May God Bless Each And Everyone of you.
Peter a good looking Man??? I suppose if you like the uncle Ben, poppa smurf types LOL
Although NeNe’s gestures did come across genuine and classy, we can’t just forget the nasty and unforgivable way she’s dealt with Kim in the past. And obviously, Kim hasn’t forgotten either.