Our regular recapper, Sandi Duffy, is recovering from the effects of HurricaneSandy… SandiD will be back recapping soon! In the meantime, please enjoy this RHOBH photo recap!!
“I do love my new, fresh look… I’ll just keep looking at myself today… all day!”
“I’m in the bathroom, Ken! Yes, I’m gonna stare at myself for another three days…leave me alone!”
“Are you gettin’ this, camera guy? I’m here to teach people all about ME! So, make sure you get every second of what I’m doin’… it’s for my fans!”
“Who is this? Yes, I plan on voting…”
“How about THIS dress? This one is from my used dress emporium… Octomom rented it last week!”
“This one is perfect! And, it still has Paris’ scent wafting through it!”
“You can borrow Ken on Thursdays, but jus know, dahling, that Thursday is Ken’s ‘sleep-all-day’ Day…”
“You’ll need to prop him up in his HoverRound if you want to take him out…”
“Brandi hates me! If she wanted to still be my friend, she would still be takin’ Paul out on Thursdays instead of Ken… my Paul provides his own car AND anesthesia!
“We have always been better than SUR…kisses!”
“OK… who the hell is this??? YES!! I’m gonna vote!”
“Hi, Lisa! I was “away”… that’s all you need to know…”
“Did Kim just tell you that she was “away”? She’s so funny! Kim’s been watching Real Housewives of New Jersey while she was in alcoholic rehab for delusional reality show people!”
”It was an accident, Lisa… I swear! Ken got stuck in his HoverRound… it just kept spinnin’ for six hours. I couldn’t stop the spinning. Don’t be mad at me, Lisa. “
“So, this show is supposed to be 100% real? REALLY? My Dutch show is completely fake… “
“KIM!! You dragged Ken in here!?
“Kyle… you have to be patient and kind with your sister. Try to be serene, like me…”
“Kim!! Kim!! It’s Ken! Where are you? Get me outta this disguise… the flower stems are piercing’ my ear drums!”
“Don’t touch that talking arrangement…”
”I know I look like a total moron, but I’m here to satisfy the 10% gay quotient necessary for every Housewives episode…”
”I’m allowed to drink… only if it’s for the good of the show! That’s what the producer guys told me…just don’t tell Kyle…”
“Kyle thinks that I’m not drinkin’ any more..” ”UH, Kim…. I’m standin’ right here…”
“I swear it was sparkling water. Honest! OK, so it was sparkling water with some vodka added… just a tiny bit. The producer guys said I HAD to drink it… for the show!”
“No, Kyle…I told you, I’m not goin’ back to that rehab place unless you come with me. They have a “MeanGirl” wing… somma the other Housewives are still there! You’ll have fun!”
“I am forever grateful to my new friend, Yolanda! She saw me spinning uncontrollably in my HoverRound on Sunset… she just stuck her Superstrong palm right on my head and saved me! The HoverRound stopped, but the inside of my head is still bullocks!
“My Ken was saved…by Yolanda! You’re never borrowing my hubbend again, Brandi… EVER! Except on Friday through Monday… those are the days I put aside for staring at myself in my bathroom.”
“Hello? Yes, for God’s sake… I voted!”