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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Twenty-One… “Lost Footage”

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP

 

Season Five, Episode Twenty-One… “Lost Footage”

by Sandi Duffy

Tonight is “lost footage” from the Real Housewives of New York and I can only hope it’s more of St. Barths before Aviva showed up.

And oh hell, we get Aviva first shot out.  Aviva is desperately trying to get the ladies to go to her fake charity.  And we get the story of how Aviva lost her leg again.  Everyone acts like it’s the first time Ramona finds this out, but you know she was told this before she ever filmed with Aviva.  I mean it’s the woman’s whole identity.  How could she not know?

Next we get Carole who acts like a downtown hipster…you know the kind who married a Kennedy relative, is a princess, and has enough money to buy Peru.

                             “I am buying Peru… as soon as I find the Emmy I lost.”

Sonja goes out on a date.  She tells him he needs to get surgery to stop snoring and lose weight.  The guy actually doesn’t leave.

At the reunion Carole is asked if she’d rather sleep with George or with Harry.  HARRY!  That’s my answer.  I wouldn’t recognize Harry if I tripped over him, but nothing can be worse than Aviva’s disgusting father.  This can be a new game.  Elephant Man or George.  ELEPHANT MAN!  Rosie O’Donnell or George.  ROSIE O’DONNELL!

  

Luann wants to make clothing and accessories for women.  Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!  That’s as likely to happen as Luann having a baby with Jacques.  All these idiots want to sell a “lifestyle brand.”  I can sell a lifestyle brand–single suburban soccer mom–I could sell minivans, sweatpants, mom jeans, scrunchies.

I know I’m going to hell because Aviva is talking to Carole about her alcoholic mother and I’m rolling my eyes.  I’m must so tired of Aviva and her drama and her problems and her anxieties, I have not one ounce of empathy in me for this woman.

We get Aviva’s line that her father didn’t steal or rape someone, so he shouldn’t have been thrown out of Ramona’s party.  Heather tells Aviva he should not have been there and he should have left when Ramona asked him over and over again.  Aviva claims she would never do that to any of their spouses or husbands… this is the same woman that demanded Carole throw Ramona and Sonja out of the St. Barths house.

Ramona used the expression “water over a duck’s ass” instead of “water over a duck’s back”.  I like that.  I think I’m going to steal it.

Sonja and Ramona meet with Sonja’s prospective business partner.  How unemployed and desperate is this dude to want to partner with Sonja and her nonexistent toaster oven?  This guy claims Donald Trump is his partner.  Sonja Morgan/Donald Trump.  Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

I’m a widow, too, but I have no desire to read Carole’s book.  I read an hilarious book called Manless in Montclair:  How a Happily Married Woman Became a Widow Looking for Love in the Wilds of the Suburbs.

Ramona launches her Pinot Grigio.

We get a rare glimpse of Luann acting like a mom.

We watch Ramona trying to figure out what to pack for St. Barths with Sonja.  That’s like my friend Lisa and I on the phone deciding what to pack for our trips.  One year, Lisa had an entire suitcase that was just full of shoes–for four days in Vegas.

Heather tells Luann she is fun if she tones down the Countess crap.

Andy asks if Ramona took pleasure in Luann getting busted with Tomas.  Ramona denies it.  Well I sure as hell did.  A little schadenfreude goes a long way.

Hell, I just checked the time and we are only half way through this.  These lost footage episodes are so boring…there was a reason they didn’t make the first edit.

Sonja and Ramona are in St. Barths unpacking and driving the butler nuts.  Sonja is trying to seduce the chef.  I’m doing something wrong when I travel.  There most help I have is a bellman, and that’s only sometimes.

Luann is speaking French to a freaking parrot.  This is ridiculous.

Heather and Carole name drop all the people they knew, but don’t have pictures of…Heather–Beyonce, Puff and J-Lo; Carole–Carolyn Bessette Kennedy.

Aviva attempts to apologize to Ramona.  Ramona is having none of it.  Ramona calls her out on tweeting and blogging nasty stuff.  Aviva is desperately trying to backpeddle now that the blogs and Bravo fans have turned on her.

We find out that Tomas came to New York.  I wonder if he wore his eyeliner and pirate clothes.

We find out that Heather actually did break her nose in St. Barths.

Andy makes everyone go around and discuss their favorite and worst parts of the season.  Ramona’s best is St. Barths and her worst is Aviva–I’m with you Ramona.

Aviva’s best is reaching out to people who wear prosthetics.  Yeah, right.  The best thing for Aviva is the paycheck that appears her and her husband desperately need.

Luann desperately claims the wort was having a falling out with Jacques over Tomas, but the best is how strong their relationship is now.  Sure, Luann.

 

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88 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Twenty-One… “Lost Footage”

  1. In five years of RHONY no one ever came after Ramona the way Aviva did. I saw it as major karma to a woman who had been pretty nasty to some of the other ladies throughout the years… Ramona is loving the drama as she can say that Aviva came after her “again, and again and again and again… and AGAIN” with such fake conviction that i have to laugh. She’s funny!! Her self-awareness for putting on the drama in the world of reality TV after 5 years proves she is a veteran in the game of HW’s… I think her time should be up… with Tru-Renewal Skin, Ramona Pinot, Tru-Faith Jewellery… In combination with the Ramona coaster persona. I think its official to say its overkill… I’d rather watch Alex try to create drama like in Morocco (SO FUNNY) and fail in the wrong way than watch Ramona manipulate the audience to believe she is a victim. Seriously, when did Ramona become so fragile to the hurricane-drama-in-the-guise-of-Aviva?

    Luann would have good jewellery as she wears some killer jewels and is quite tasteful when it comes to her taste in clothes. I’d buy her jewellery before i’d buy her tips on etiquette…

    Love Heather and she could Holla at me anytime… Heather hawking products is not new to her so she knows how to feed it to us without making us sick. I respect that

    Aviva… Im in the minority but i really don’t hate her. HOWEVER she went overboard with her attack on Ramona and Sonja… She lost it. She has some issues to sort out and we will see if she stops talking about her anxieties if she gets another round. if she does i believe that would be a welcome change. We all deserve a banner for hearing about it all season.

    Carole… She’s as pretentious as Luann. Good on her or hawking her book but I dont really feel her and she held back and it the camera doesnt lie so we caught her underhanded snippiness! I’m team Luann on this one… She really needs to tell people how she feels to their face. ALSO she didnt even admit to being a bitch in the reunion that she goes to proves that she is as bad as the rest at admitting their faults.

    Sonja has kinda HAD IT. Toastergate is a bore and she is entitled. She is becoming the kind of housewife we see become damaged because of the show… She began as fun and sexy and now… Where does one start… I just hope she finally lets go of her feelings regarding her ex and moves on. She’s clearly still grieving and its very sad.

    • Yep! I pretty much agree with everything you said… Except the Aviva part. On the show she doesn’t bug me nearly as much as she does everyone else. BUT… she DID bug me when she went after SH – that more than anything showed her true colors. She’s entitled and thinks everyone should pay attention to her (as they would to the next coming of Jesus).

      Having said that… Aviva has given Ramona everything she had coming (and more). I kinda liked that. I’ve also become a HUGE fan of Heather. She doesn’t spare anyone her honesty.

    • Grieving for her ex or the many homes she ran and the money? I don’t dislike Sonja, but she spoke more of her numerous home, help etc..in the past than her ex hubby.

  2. Bravo’s gonna have to shake up the pieces on the game board again after this season…nothing and no one on this show for me to watch again next season.

    • I didn’t watch this, but did anyone else laugh at the promos when they would show Aviva while saying lost footage, or am I just a monster?

      • OMG Now that you said it and I made the connection it is pretty funny! I guess I’m a monster too!

  3. It matters not to me who gets under Ramona’s skin. Even if it’s Neurotic Aviva herself I couldn’t be happier.

    What Ramona lacks is an actual sense of humor. So busy convincing herself and others of her “beauty, brains, body, and business sense” she is seriously devoid of any self reflection along with a sense of irony that would better suit a woman of 56 who wears bikinis that look like post its!

    For years I have been waiting for someone to lead her off the cliff and Heather has managed to do just that on more than one occasion. Ramona is “affronted” by Aviva which is delightful to watch but it is Heather who has my undying support to just keep going.

    Aviva may be a solid pain in the @ss but having to listen to Ramona’s “yapping” for 5 minutes would drive an ordinary human being into madness.

    “Yap, yap, yap” is all she does when she is not hoisting the ever present glass up to her big, fat, useless mouth.

  4. Funny how PT shoves her education in everyone’s face, yet she didn’t use the word “euphemism” properly. I think the word she was shooting for was “hyperbole.”

    • Caught that too. It shows us what a fake PT is, her intelligence is questionable . As is almost every aspect of her “fabulous life”. Euphemism is not a complicated word, even OC housewives could figure that one out.

      • Sandy said it best “Aviva’s best is reaching out to people who wear prosthetics.  Yeah, right.  The best thing for Aviva is the paycheck that appears her and her husband desperately need.”

    • I guess, to give her the benefit of the doubt, you could say she was nervous and misspoke, but then she shouldn’t brag about her education. That’s really annoying.

  5. My mother is the most gracious and accommodating(irritatingly so at times) woman on the planet. She is the type that is forever going around making excuses for people and even she said George should have been tossed out of that party. So If my momma says it that is saying something. Says he came to start trouble.

      • I think everyone ‘cept his overgrown babygirl was disgusted by him. Unfortunate too because if it hadn’t been for the gross stuff he might have been charming. I can take a viagra joke here and there but he was just… too much. And certainly not at the dinner table. Something is off about him.

        • What’s “off” about GrossGeorge is that he’s a repulsively disgusting pig. He joked that “incest is best” when he shopped with Aviva in a health food store. She may care what happens to him because he’s her supposed “father” (I use that term loosely). However, why should he be palmed off on anyone for a date or camera time? I hope they both are deleted from next season.

          • Also I will never understand why Aviva ever let her father be on the show… I mean she must realize how inappropriate he is… why would she ever bring him on? On some level.. it must hurt her to hear the criticism of her Dad… nationally.. geeshhh… what was she thinking?? Also regarding Carol… i did find it disturbing what she considers “funny”.. it appears talking about every cast member behind their backs seems to give her a different journalist point of view? Back stabbing is back stabbing… no other view point to take :) But i was surprised how really snarky she was.. and was it me.. but did you think the cast members were attractive? Don’t mean to sound shallow.. but of all the people they could pick? Carol is not an attractive woman… I don’t think Aviva is either… although in re: to Heather i happen to love her to most! I still laugh at her stating at the reunion that “Sonja doesn’t know what it is to work hard! (she did not state it like this.. her statement was much more forceful.. lol) but Sonja is ‘SO AFFECTED’ i just laughed!

            • Yes, I wondered why Aviva felt compelled to bring her disgusting dad on nat’l tv (for multiple episodes.) She admitted that he was inappropriate. However, it must have been that she didn’t know what that word meant. There is something really wrong within that “family” dynamic. If her mother was an alcoholic and her father was a sicko lech…. I also thought that neither Carol nor Aviva were pretty. Aviva looks much, much OLDER than her 41 years. I think her make-up and hairstyle are very dated and make her appear over 50! Carol has an odd mouth (too large veneers(?) and swollen lips). Her hair is grungy and she always looks as though she just rolled out of bed. She, too, looks over 50. Carol’s snarky remarks were for her own entertainment. She really went after LuAnn nonstop. Heather did improve from the beginning of the season. I found her personality to be positive, and she was the voice of reason (including with delusional sonJa).

    • If I was at that party George would not have even been allowed in!
      I know, I know… It was in the script ;-)

    • What Aviva is too blind to see is that Ramona didn’t throw him out of the party by choice. She politely asked him to leave over and over again. It was his lack of respect for her and the other woman that suggested he should leave that lead to his being escorted out. Respect is a two way street. IF George wants it for himself and Aviva he has to give to others. Something both of these people can’t comprehend.

      • I doubt that reptile even cares about respect. GrossGeorge only cares about his next “score”. He obviously has NO respect for females. The way he spoke to Ramona and Sonja (& Carol) when he first met them was disgusting. I can’t believe they didn’t object when he talked about (Ramona’s ass) or offering Sonja orgasms, (let alone putting his pecker in her back). He was in way shape or form a real “father”. He’s a sleazoid pig.

  6. Posting this one since it says “security will escort you from the building” This is a classic to listen to while driving to work. :)

  7. I thought this was an under-rated season. Everybody focused their attention on NJ, for what? Season 4 of NJ has to be one of the worst Housewives seasons ever. No happiness just straight up baloney. Hopefully it stays in the abyss where it was born in.

    On to NYC: I enjoyed this cast and hopefully season 6 will have more thrills like the St. Barths trip.

    • I agree. I thought that RHONY was much easier to watch.RHONJ messed with my insomnia sumpin fierce because after watching it I felt like I had just been through a fambily battle.I felt the need to stay up hours after watching just to decompress. I DVR old reruns of Password Plus(Yes I am THAT dork) to help me get my emotions calmed back down. I got too invested in it I guess. Maybe it was because the fambily issues. But RHONY , although drama filled, was not as ulcer inducing. I am having high hopes for RHOA too.

      • Made, I’m right there with ya (about the stress and insomnia part). I watched about half of an episode when the season first began, then would check in periodically… but couldn’t sleep afterwards. I just couldn’t watch it – ESPECIALLY having the heads up about the direction it was going to go anyway. It was disgusting and stressful (RHONJ that is). So glad it’s over.

        On the other hand… I enjoyed RHONY… It was worth watching. Those that claim it was boring are CLEARLY looking for more RHONJ style shows and I (for one) am not interested in that.

      • I wait wait to watch Atlanta. It’s my all time favorite of the franchise. I think it will have more fireworks than last season.

        Popping my popcorn.

  8. Sonja is so irritating and embarrassing to watch.. she really is sooooo “affected”… you hear stories about her racking up bills in restaurants and then not paying.. as her party is leaving.. she lives in a “make believe world” and thinks she’s entitled. But what really really did it for me is at the reunion when she brought out sketches from “fans” to show Heather.. What a self centered person would have the nerve to still CONTINUE her ignorance on TV.. she still in my mind doesn’t get it.. she was getting it all for free.. which happens to be her middle name these days.. all those assistants.. FREE…. Dinners with her “gang”.. leaving without paying…. FREE marketing and still shows no gratitude to anything. Regarding her hubby? this woman doesn’t miss him.. she misses HIS MONEY AND THE STATUS SHE USED TO HAVE.. Notice i said “use to”.. only she has swallowed that pill… I also find it disturbing how sexually loose she is.. i mean really? St. Barts? and bragging.. I HOPE TO GOD.. they get rid of her and her nasty toaster oven… i’d never buy any of her products!!

    • I’m w you! I like Sonja w a sexy J but her living in the past is getting old! Sonja , face it that was the past so move forward.. Can’t stand entitlement.

    • You’re onto something. SonJa’s maiden name is Tremont. Maybe she should change her logo to: “SonJa FREEmont” Toaster Oven Box, Home Goods, Party Hearty Planner, Crappy Caterer, Selfish Fool…

      • Your hysterical.. LOL.. i had a good laugh.. FREEmont!! Sometimes I think some of the people posting here could write sitcoms. their so funny!! :)

    • Co-sign! At the end of the Reunion Part 2, Sonja was totally kissing Heather’s ass because she realized she f**ked up BIG time by not appreciating what Heather (and others) had done for her. Obviously, she only laid on the heavy sugar in the hopes that Heather will continue to help her with her non-existent toaster oven, mitts and whatever the hell else she’s trying to hawk. Too little too late and I’m glad Heather’s smart enough to know that she was totally USED. Fool me once….

  9. Omg I so love this site. Lmao “Rosie odonell or George. Rosie odonell” . Excellent. I am so glad rhony is over. Can’t wait to find out who is gone next season. Why why why is Andy making Jill relevant? Does she have something over on him? Clap clap rhonj finally over. Reunion and lost footage very painful to watch. I’d rather watch paint dry lol. Who stays and who goes on rhonj. Can’t wait.

  10. I think the lost footage was just more of the same that week saw all season. Who will be back? If I had my ‘druthers’ A-diva would be long gone. She’s just Jill rewarmed – left overs. She already talks about ‘her fans’ to justify her behavior, enough already. The rest of the wives are OK but I really think they have to do something besides fight next season, NJ wives cover that base.

    • But, according to Jill, Heather is Jill! You know, according to Jill they had to replace her with someone who was Jewish even though Heather isn’t really Jewish. Didn’t follow that? Yea, neither did I when Jill said it.

      • I think Aviva is Jewish. She’s a neurotic Jewish woman with a dependency issue with her husband and parent. So there ya go! (btw: I’m a Jewish woman and I think Jill and Aviva give us a bad name – on both counts). They really bring down the curve for us all.

          • That’s exactly what I think. Andy/Bravo seem to hate women and want to showcase mentally ill and self-centered bitches in every county. There are very few true role models given airtime (unless it’s by accident). Also, the track record for marriages remaining intact due to the exposure is poor. The men walk ultimately away from the notoriety (except Brokes, who embraces it).

  11. WE GET A RARE GLIMPSE OF LUANN ACTING IKE A MOM.
    Yes, the kind of mom you’d report to CPS.
    It was obviously a quickie meeting with the kids that was set up to justify their getting a BRAVO paycheck this season. It was hardly an exchange between a caring mother and her teens. “Noel, that’s too heavy. You can’t eat it. Yes, I let you order it but that was just a tease. Sorry, no lunch for you today.”

    “Well, I’m done with my lemon wedge and water, so LET’S GO! Victoria, you’ve only eaten a couple of bites of your lunch? Too bad, I’M done, so leave it and LET’S GO!.

    I could watch Luanne’s “branding” conference over…and over…and over!
    Obviously money can’t buy you coherence. HaHaHa. I mean, Yo ho ho!

    “My brand will be accessories for women. Like these Jimmy Choo boots. I want to sell boots exactly like them – except they will have Countess somewhere in the brand name. ”
    “I want to sell travel items. You have everything you need in your travel bag and then…”
    *crickets*
    “I have tons of ideas and information. You’d like to hear some? Right now?”
    *crickets*
    “Jacques, why do you look like you want to crawl under the table and out the door? Just think, our baby will be able to carry on this lifestyle brand. Ooh, ooh. I’m going to add baby accessories to my brand! Things like…uh…er…you know, things babies use.”

  12. ITA with @househusband! Everything was right on! I thought it was HILARIOUS how Aviva attacked, attacked, attacked & ATTACKED Ramonster “like a viper”…I wish I could say it the way R did. What was up with Ramonsters face? 2much make up? Idk but it looked odd at times. I dont think TruRenewal is working. My favorite ATTACK was when A told R she saw her & SonJa in bed 2gether NEKKID &spooning! Ramonsters face told it ALLLLL!! She didnt want any1 to know that. My next fav was when R said Lu couldnt help herself cause she loves the men…then Lu came right back at her & Ramonster started backpeddling FAST. Lu has some juicy stuff on R, its so obvious…Even tho, R denies it. She replied 2 my tweet about Lu having the goods on her & she said Mario knows everything & probably 2much…I kind of doubt it. Cant wait 2 see who stays/who goes. Lu really has no storyline & R is just there for comedy. S is played out. A cant handle this type of show. Carole is pretty much a waste of time. My new fav is Heather!

    • Luv Heather too. Lu might be gone. Like you said, no storyline, though she desperately tried to create one. The product meeting looked fake….who buys housewife products anyway? Bethenny might have been the best of the bunch, and we hear her goods are in TJMaxx. When are retailers going to smarten up and quit picking these product lines up.
      The shapewear market surely must be flooded by now. And I don’t know one person who wears shapewear. Its just too hot in florida.

    • Anyone that gives Ramona a piece of her medicine is AMAZING. That scene when she was telling the taxi driver how to drive was hard to watch. The poor guy had to deal with her rude-neurotic New Yorker crap… Who the hell does she think she is? She acts like she’s Donald Trump!! Actually she should go Celebrity Apprentice – she’d go far – and the contestants can go after her again, and again, and again, and again… and again… like vipers….

        • That would be hilarious. Could just see her getting up and spinning around , fluffing out her dress in the board room? And then talk talk talk talk when she knows the “you’re fired” hammer is bout to come down. Donald’s face would be priceless. She would prolly try to engage that receptionist chick in a 45 minute conversation as well as the elevator man and the driver.
          Speakin of gettin fired.

  13. If Luann did have “something” on Ramona there is no way in HELL she would not have thrown her under the bus the first chance she got. Luann is full of it!!!!

  14. RHONY with no Luan would be strange… Her relationship with Jacques… Which who knows what state its in after pirate-gate may be her next storyline…

  15. Great recap as usual. So glad NY is finally over. When it started out with PT screeching nearly deleted the episode. Had just watched the Debate and was hoping for some funny. Should have read your review first. That Rosie v. George section and your images were amazing. I really liked the Rosie KSM image. Very creative. Thanks.

  16. Loved HH’s post…And may I just say, I not only did “not hate” Aviva, I really liked her. But, that was before she apologized to Somanja. I would have respected her more, if she had she not back peddled with silly profuse apologies. In my humble opinion, she was right on with her assessment of Somanja’s drunk, trashy and entitled behavior. I just wish Avia owned what she said, and even though I did not like what she did to MS. SH (sorry Ms.SH), I would still like her…Now, I feel like she sold out. It’s pathetic, almost as pathetic as my commenting about it!

    • I can’t stand PT, most vile woman to have ever walked the upper east side, but I agree with you Alexa, I would have respected her just a bit had she owned up to what she said, and not back peddled to appease viewers. Just shows how weak and damaged she truly is.

  17. I’m also not sympatico with Aviva’s ailments, frailties, fears, phobias and problems du jour. Her sad eyes over the mother that inconvenienced her by being an alcoholic really irked ME more. How dare that woman leave Aviva with the care and feeding of PapaGeorge and all his grossness!
    The ever shifting story of Aviva’s loss of limb has had the opposite effect on me by now. I’m desensitized to it. Her river of tears no longer works on my heart strings because she harped on it non stop, in EVERY episode. Watching LuAnn eat pizza and hurry her youngins was banal and time wasting. Watching LuAnn get dumped by Sonja and Ramona for a walk in the park was another lost moment in time. Poor LuAnn – nobody likes her. Maybe she should eat some worms.
    I don’t understand why SonJa is always requesting a 2nd opinion for her stupid business. She seeks Crazy Eyes’ advice all the time. Just because that slacker mentioned Donald Trump, both women lapped it up as though it was true (without any background check). I’ll bet that guy has the Brooklyn Bridge to sell them as well. SonJa comes off as particularly dumb and loony. She always wants everything for nothing. Good luck with new deal…

  18. Am I the only one who thinks PT’s face looks different ? I don’t know if it’s Botox or what , but, she looks different and not in a good way.
    LuAnn was too obsessive about her kids having lunch . Taking the pizza from her teen age son was way too controlling. It’s not like he’s Lauren or anything.
    For all their disagreements, it was nice to see a reunion where four housewives weren’t clawing and screaming and verbally slashing a lone housewife for three hours.
    When Carole was asked what the highlight of the season was for her and she said her book making the NY Times bestseller list -that seemed a tad shallow and self promoting.

    • I thought LuAnn looked uncomfortable eating pizza in public. She seemed to want to hurry the scene to its logical conclusion. Since it was boring, that is why is was left on the cutting room floor. She really has no real storyline.

  19. I know Aviva really irked a lot of people.. but Ramona Singer has IRKED ME FOR YEARS!!! I sadly admit when she was told off SO THORUGHLY by Aviva.. and Aviva also telling Sonja who is equally irritating the last 2 seasons… i had to applaud… FINALLY someone really shook up Ramona!! She’s been dishing her dirt out for years… now she knows how it feels….

  20. I just had to come back to this to see that pic of Rosie O’Donnell :-D I don’t know where that pic is from, but it just cracks me up!! I mean I hope she doesn’t really look like that! She doesn’t, right? Of course not… Is it mean that I laugh at that? Well I don’t care! Lol!!

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