REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III



Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III

by Sandi Duffy

FINALLY!  It’s the end!  When this is over, I’m going out on my front porch and yelling, “Free at last!  Free at last!  Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!”

This episode opens with Caroline’s prediction of Joe and Teresa’s marriage ending.

Andy asks if Caroline still stands by that comment.  Joe Guidice calls Caroline a know-it-all and tells her she just hates.  What alternate universe are we living in that I agree with Joe Guidice?  Caroline tries really hard to backpeddle on her comment.  Somehow it all goes back to Magazinegate which I am so sick of and don’t get why the women are pissed about Teresa’s magazine interviews.

Teresa calls out Jacqueline and tell her Chris controls her and all the money and Joe doesn’t control Teresa’s.  Maybe he should.

We go back to the whole Joe is going to jail vs. “going away.”  Since I don’t know anyone who ever went to jail, I don’t know what the proper term is.  By the way, I have jury duty in New Jersey, but sadly, it’s not the Joe Guidice case.

It appears that Teresa was pissed about her family discussing it on camera because she asked them not to…she’s not pissed that Melissa used the term jail instead of “going away.”

Andy asks what the difference is between Teresa doing an interview about it for a magazine and the ladies talking about it on the show.  Duh, Andy, even I know the difference.  It’s coming from Teresa in the magazine.  It’s coming from people she asked NOT to talk about it on the show.  I love when Teresa goes after Andy, “Andy, am I talking Chinese?”

Joe Guidice calls all the husbands momo’s.  Hahahahaha!  He also calls out Jacqueline on her finances.      Jacqueline swears she met Chris at a trade show in Chicago and not a strip club in Vegas.  Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

All the husbands except Al Manzo show up.  Al Manzo is officially the smartest person on the show.

I wish someone would make Joe Gorga try to read the dictionary.  If brains were dynamite, Joe Gorga wouldn’t have enough to fart.

Andy asks a question we all know the answer to. Did Joe and Joe always have a contentious relationship?  NO, we all know they used to be friends.

They are now talking about Richie’s erection and I need to plug up my ears.  I AM NOT LISTENING.  LALALALALALALALALALA!

Joe Gorga claims he got on the show to get closer to Teresa.  Um, Joe the show is called REAL HOUSEWIVES!  You did not get on the show.  Melissa did.

Teresa calls out her brother for talking about her husband’s pending case on TV.

Joe Guidice asks Melissa how she met her husband and we never get the answer because Joe Gorga flips out.  How?  I need to know!  Why isn’t this question answered?  Tell me Joe Guidice, how did they meet?  Could it be…….at a strip club?

Then Joe Guidice calls out Joe Gorga for his financial problems.  Jacqueline makes her husband swear that he met her at a trade show in Chicago.  Jacqueline sounds wasted.  Teresa tell everyone Caroline told her Jacqueline was a stripper.  Joe Gorga and Chris are really quick to defend strippers.  Apparently Joe Gorga was a male stripper.  Who the hell wants to see Joe Gorga naked?  Ugh!  The only person I want to see naked less than Joe Gorga is Richie.

Richie and Kathy try really hard to inject themselves in this reunion.  They have nothing to add.

Jacqueline keeps throwing out non sequiturs.

Chris is also on the “Teresa is responsible for Dina not talking to Caroline” bandwagon.  Caroline isn’t talking to half her family, including Dina, is that Teresa’s fault, too?

Shocking revelation of the night–Joe Gorga went to college?  WTF college lets you in if you can’t read?   And Joe Gorga loves the gays!

Teresa needs to stop denying that she called Melissa a stripper.  I am sure she called her a stripper many times.  I don’t think she was in on the Posche set-up, but I am sure she bad-mouthed Melissa and called her a stripper, among other things.  Teresa is a horrid liar.

Joe Gorga claims Melissa was a school teacher putting herself through college bartending at a strip club.  None of this makes sense.  You can’t be a teacher until you have a college degree.  Joe and Joe tell each other to shut up about a thousand times.  Joe Gorga claims Teresa took their parents away from him.  Jacqueline sticks her nose in and even her husband tells her to stay out of it.  Teresa calls her out on her botoxed face.  Hahahahahaha!

Andy brings out Kim D.  Kim D. looks like the crypt keeper.  Kim D. says that Teresa did not know Angelo was going to out Melissa as a stripper.  Kim D. takes full blame for Angelo outing her as a stripper.

Andy asks Jacqueline who was texting her at the fashion show and Jacqueline won’t tell.  I think we’ve all ascertained that the person texting Jacqueline was an ex Bravo producer.

Joe Gorga and Teresa are in tears and Melissa just sits there looking like a victorious, cold, calculating bitch.

Caroline gives her final thoughts on family which is a huge joke because she isn’t speaking to most of her family.  Jacqueline tries to speak, but she makes no freakin’ sense.  Jacqueline was definitely on something during this reunion.  Kathy may as well have not been there and Melissa comes off as a cold, calculating bitch who is more than happy that her husband is on the outs with his entire family.  Teresa is Teresa and this group is so nuts, that Joe Guidice looks like the most normal person.

Best line went to JoeJoodice: