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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP  

 

Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III

by Sandi Duffy

FINALLY!  It’s the end!  When this is over, I’m going out on my front porch and yelling, “Free at last!  Free at last!  Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!”


This episode opens with Caroline’s prediction of Joe and Teresa’s marriage ending.

Andy asks if Caroline still stands by that comment.  Joe Guidice calls Caroline a know-it-all and tells her she just hates.  What alternate universe are we living in that I agree with Joe Guidice?  Caroline tries really hard to backpeddle on her comment.  Somehow it all goes back to Magazinegate which I am so sick of and don’t get why the women are pissed about Teresa’s magazine interviews.

Teresa calls out Jacqueline and tell her Chris controls her and all the money and Joe doesn’t control Teresa’s.  Maybe he should.

We go back to the whole Joe is going to jail vs. “going away.”  Since I don’t know anyone who ever went to jail, I don’t know what the proper term is.  By the way, I have jury duty in New Jersey, but sadly, it’s not the Joe Guidice case.

It appears that Teresa was pissed about her family discussing it on camera because she asked them not to…she’s not pissed that Melissa used the term jail instead of “going away.”

Andy asks what the difference is between Teresa doing an interview about it for a magazine and the ladies talking about it on the show.  Duh, Andy, even I know the difference.  It’s coming from Teresa in the magazine.  It’s coming from people she asked NOT to talk about it on the show.  I love when Teresa goes after Andy, “Andy, am I talking Chinese?”

Joe Guidice calls all the husbands momo’s.  Hahahahaha!  He also calls out Jacqueline on her finances.      Jacqueline swears she met Chris at a trade show in Chicago and not a strip club in Vegas.  Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

All the husbands except Al Manzo show up.  Al Manzo is officially the smartest person on the show.

I wish someone would make Joe Gorga try to read the dictionary.  If brains were dynamite, Joe Gorga wouldn’t have enough to fart.

Andy asks a question we all know the answer to. Did Joe and Joe always have a contentious relationship?  NO, we all know they used to be friends.

They are now talking about Richie’s erection and I need to plug up my ears.  I AM NOT LISTENING.  LALALALALALALALALALA!

Joe Gorga claims he got on the show to get closer to Teresa.  Um, Joe the show is called REAL HOUSEWIVES!  You did not get on the show.  Melissa did.

Teresa calls out her brother for talking about her husband’s pending case on TV.

Joe Guidice asks Melissa how she met her husband and we never get the answer because Joe Gorga flips out.  How?  I need to know!  Why isn’t this question answered?  Tell me Joe Guidice, how did they meet?  Could it be…….at a strip club?

Then Joe Guidice calls out Joe Gorga for his financial problems.  Jacqueline makes her husband swear that he met her at a trade show in Chicago.  Jacqueline sounds wasted.  Teresa tell everyone Caroline told her Jacqueline was a stripper.  Joe Gorga and Chris are really quick to defend strippers.  Apparently Joe Gorga was a male stripper.  Who the hell wants to see Joe Gorga naked?  Ugh!  The only person I want to see naked less than Joe Gorga is Richie.

Richie and Kathy try really hard to inject themselves in this reunion.  They have nothing to add.

Jacqueline keeps throwing out non sequiturs.

Chris is also on the “Teresa is responsible for Dina not talking to Caroline” bandwagon.  Caroline isn’t talking to half her family, including Dina, is that Teresa’s fault, too?

Shocking revelation of the night–Joe Gorga went to college?  WTF college lets you in if you can’t read?   And Joe Gorga loves the gays!

Teresa needs to stop denying that she called Melissa a stripper.  I am sure she called her a stripper many times.  I don’t think she was in on the Posche set-up, but I am sure she bad-mouthed Melissa and called her a stripper, among other things.  Teresa is a horrid liar.

Joe Gorga claims Melissa was a school teacher putting herself through college bartending at a strip club.  None of this makes sense.  You can’t be a teacher until you have a college degree.  Joe and Joe tell each other to shut up about a thousand times.  Joe Gorga claims Teresa took their parents away from him.  Jacqueline sticks her nose in and even her husband tells her to stay out of it.  Teresa calls her out on her botoxed face.  Hahahahahaha!

Andy brings out Kim D.  Kim D. looks like the crypt keeper.  Kim D. says that Teresa did not know Angelo was going to out Melissa as a stripper.  Kim D. takes full blame for Angelo outing her as a stripper.

Andy asks Jacqueline who was texting her at the fashion show and Jacqueline won’t tell.  I think we’ve all ascertained that the person texting Jacqueline was an ex Bravo producer.

Joe Gorga and Teresa are in tears and Melissa just sits there looking like a victorious, cold, calculating bitch.

Caroline gives her final thoughts on family which is a huge joke because she isn’t speaking to most of her family.  Jacqueline tries to speak, but she makes no freakin’ sense.  Jacqueline was definitely on something during this reunion.  Kathy may as well have not been there and Melissa comes off as a cold, calculating bitch who is more than happy that her husband is on the outs with his entire family.  Teresa is Teresa and this group is so nuts, that Joe Guidice looks like the most normal person.

Best line went to JoeJoodice:

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304 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY RECAP: Season Four, Episode Twenty-Three… Reunion Part III

  1. I believe the correct old school Italian term is ‘going away’ sometimes even ‘on holidays’.

    That meme is incorrect. Vinny is nothing like mouldy old Chris Laurita!! :(

    • Yes! And my man Paulie D is nothing like Richie Filth.
      Funny, I have always thought that Joe Gorga and Melissa were like Jersey Shore cast rejects. The kind of loser Mike would be buddies with.

  2. When Juicy told Hoga to pay his bills and Horga acted all “Pay my bills?” shocked like are you kidding me and Carowhine had a smug assed smile then Juicy said “Yeah pay your bills instead of borrowing the money” the look on Horga’s face changed from smile to pure black eyes and scared that he was going to be exposed type of look. Then Andy dropped it right there. I swear Andy let’s anything w/T&Juicy go on and on but with the others it get’s a response and then change the subject. So frustrating to watch. But Horga’s face said a lot during that exchange.

    • Noticed that moment in particular. It stood out. He hit him hard with that one line that didn’t sound like all that much.

      If I bother watching this again, when Bravo puts it on it’s endless freaking reruns, that will be worth watching twice.

  3. My favorite Joe Giudice Line was his comment to Jacqueline ‘You eat your money’ :) I nearly died. She was stopped COLD.

    I forced myself to watch this one after not watching any of the other 2 reunion shows or the season itself – so my next comment has to be taken with a grain of salt:

    I thought Caroline almost (ALMOST) redeemed herself a bit. At the very least she recognized how hated she’s become – and for someone so arrogant, that’s a huge admission. She’s still not my favorite, but I would almost be interested in seeing her come back next season. She’s got to be sick of MeHo by now.

    • This was the only episode i’ve watched as well. In my office, they’re taking bets on how long it will be before Chuck turns on Melissa, lol.

      • the first 2 parts she was on attack mode on tre but it did seem like when the men joined that Carowhine stayed out of it — i kinda think that she was at least decent enough to stay out of tre and tarzan’s fighting and only got involved when it was just the women — and the rate that juicy was throwing out the others’ dirty laundry i’m sure she didn’t want him throwing hers out there too so she just shut up (thank god)….

      • Too little, too late. She is trying to save face to sell her book. She did not have any problem slinging crap for two whole seasons. I can not give her props for being restrained for the reunion. Look at her blog early in the season, when the comments went negative against her she softend….too late………

    • It might not be as funny to watch as her meltdown. But seeing Caro come back from the edge might be interesting. You have to wonder how , when someone is sitting around reading every article , searching for anything the other person said or did that involves them the other cast etc.. Does the one who wastes their time on that kind of stuff (hate) not realize that the other person has control of them? Whether they want it or not (don’t think Tre does) . I mean I’ve seen relatives of murder victims who aren’t as nutty when it comes to the criminals ?? How do you hand your mind over to a co-star on a reality show??

  4. Excellent as always. You really made me laugh with the JoeGorrga one about going on the show to get closer to Tre, you didnt, your wife did, Haha, priceless :)

  5. “……..If brains were dynamite, Joe Gorga wouldn’t have enough to fart…..”

    This was PRICELESS!!! I swear I laughed out loud so hard that my two big dogs came running and barking to see what the deal was! I must remember that line. Thanks, Sandi!

  6. how come Melissa did not get upset with Caroline and Jac when Kim D said that they knew that Melissa was going to be set up that night- why did not Jac say something to Melissa- why the heck are they JUST blaming Tre- they all knew except Mel and Kathy!!

  7. Great recap as always! I am really beginning to question my sanity at this point. I have been sick so I spent the day in bed watching How I Met Your Mother and had a nice warm fuzzy feeling with all the entertainment and humor. Then as 10pm rolled around I tuned into my so-called favorite show. Once it was over I was no longer feeling warm and fuzzy ;) I legit wanted to call Andy Cohen and demand my hour back.
    Andy questions Tree and Juicy to death about the phone call at the vineyard and their finances and his court case while he allows everyone else to skate by even when they are clearly lying. He had numerous opportunities to get the truth on hot topics and did not i.e when Juicy said “Hey Joe, where did you really meet Melissa?” Andy ignored it. He also never asked Jac if she was a stripper. He did a terrible job hosting and I don’t know why I hoped for anything different.
    Katfish and Richie- they shouldn’t have even shown. No one cares.
    MeHo and JoGo- I don’t recall the poster but someone on SH said it best when they said that MeHo was one of the most inauthentic people they had ever witnessed. Agreed!! The way she kept egging her husband on. “That’s the worst thing you can say” to Tree after Joe was saying it. She loves the fact that they are in such a bad place and it is sick to watch.
    Jaco- Crazier than a bedbug on roller skates. Her reactions, defense mechanisms, and way of dealing with frustrations mimic that of a super immature 15 year-old. Focus on your family, Crazy, instead of obsessing over a former friend.
    Caro- Glad she calmed down during the past episode but like y’all have pointed out- she doesn’t want to cross Juicy. I love Juicy for the simple fact that he is not scared of Andy and he stood by his wife.

    • I called Missy inauthentic in response to a commenter who said Teressa should get no credit for writing her blogs. I really hope Joe grows a pair and spends time with his father as his father is ill. Joe will regret it and Melissa will say its all your sister’s fault, but in the end, it is Joe who has to decide what is important with his father. The senior Gorgas I can safely guess could care less about the show.

  8. I watched this last night with my husband,and Juicy stole the show all the way,he is the best!He could have uined all of them with stuff he knows.As far as Jac goes she wishes she could have been a stripper,she is hideous.Mego gross me out she looks like a tramp,even my husband said it she is nasty.But what i wished for the most is WHY CAN’T TERESA SPEAK ENGLISH?She made herself look like an idiot because she cannot defend herself.Speak woman make sense please.Jac i wanted to go through the tv and strangle her that ugly garbage loser.Her daughter can’t stand her and we know why.Caoline what a piece of crap loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  9. Another classy JoHo moment was when Juicy asked him where did he meet MeHo, JoHo went ballastic and screamed don’t you f’in say anything about my f’in wife. Really JoHo calling your wife an F’in wife that was sure telling right there especially after everyone was busting Juicy for the phone call that I am starting to believe was more of a frankenbite edit and Juicy doesn’t remember the call and figures well that’s my voice so I must have said it type of thing. After seeing this season stranger things have happened. I would love to see the complete unedited section of that tape before I am going to completely believe without a doubt that Juicy called Tre a C u next Tuesday along with the groaning and everything else. Hell they could have spliced him calling Caroline or Jax or Koma a “C”. I just want to see the unedited tape.

    • about Frankenbites: I think we should all band together, form a class action suit, and force filmmakers to display an “alert to viewers” when a Frankenbite has been inserted into their creations (which are not reality as they claim.)

  10. The way Mego is sitting in that pick looking down head off to one side. “Poor wittle me , I’m the wittle victum again.” Hehehe, she never tires of it. I suspect the producers are going to get tired of this one trick pony pretty soon. Glad to see Carowhine was having a good time, as ususal. Looks as happy as I’ve ever seen her :) Like I say, Joedajuice isn’t perfect by a long shot but at least he’s funny.

  11. I think the entire show is a mess! I could barely watch an entire episode all season. Nothing was accomplished on the reunion. When next season starts filming it’ll be the same crazy mess as this past season, I don’t know if I can take it, Lord help these people!!

  12. Sorry Sandy, but the season is not quite over yet. Did you see the preview for next Sunday of the “Lost NJ Reunion footage”? Geez, it’s never ending.

  13. Theresa and Joe are such scumbags.

    I don’t know why most people don’t see that they do the ‘Deflection Fight’ whenever they are accused of something that is actually true. They immediately make something up, right on the spot, or push a hot button with the accuser that deflects from the original accusation.

    Dodgy behavior and I seriously hope more people that watch the show see that.

    Scumbags.

    • Their MO is to deny and attack another person. Just own it and it will be done with. Scumbags is too nice of a word for them, lol.

      • That could be said for ALL OF THESE PEOPLE.

        There is proof that all of the other Housewives have some type of legel, marital, personal, family, etc. issue lurking in the shadows, yet none of them OWN IT. What really is the difference? If we expect some to own it, why not all of them?

        I don’t see Jacqueline owning the severity of her bankruptcy. She stated Teresa’s was far worse. Deflection? Yes. Next.

        Melissa and Joey have all kinds of money problems and aren’t honest about them, yet they talk about Teresa and claim to “pay their bills.” Deflection? Yes. NEXT.

        There are all kinds of rumors swirling around Caroline’s marriage, yet she commented that Joe and Teresa will get divorced (I don’t believe, for one second, that was a “hypothetical”). Deflection? Yes. NEEEXXXXT.

        All of them deflect, yet the only ones who are the bad guys are Teresa and Joe. That makes no sense.

  14. Hi all! I’ve been sick as a dog (the plague,I think) and have been watching some of the RHONJ I’ve skipped. For some reason I missed the 2 episodes of their trip to Italy. They were awesome!!! You see how incredible Juicy is with his girls, how well Teresa and Juicy work together (even when things get hairy) how Caroline lives to be miserable and Batshit crazy Bonnie Grippe pulling one of the most childish moves I have ever witnessed of an adult!!!! NOW, I can see where the fruit fell from!!!!
    I’m going to attach the links here, Okay, Ms SH? Oh, yes, bonus, Juicy explains his DUI and I believe him, I really do. I’m starting to think Juicy is pretty damn awesome!!!!! Oh, those girls have excellent manners and listen very well to their parents!!! I guarantee you are going to enjoy these episodes and Juicy and Teresa and the girls crack me up, they’re so unaffected, it’s adorable!!!

  15. I used to love the show. Now, I can’t watch it. MeGo, JoGo, DonCaro, Manzoids, Chris and JaxAss Laurita – bottom feeders. Can’t watch a Season 5. The snarky Manzo children – what poor excuses for young adults.

  16. Joe Giudice came off as the most reasonable, rational person in jersey.
    Carolyn trying to explain her comment about the Giudices in the opening segment was pathetic. The spin she tried to put on it made absolutely no sense.
    Ding ding ding….word of the night was Chris’ “Fer-miliar”….. guess everyone in Jersey butchers the English language and no one has room to talk about Tre about anything.
    Best comeback…Joe to Jac “You eat your money”….from the looks of it money is very high in calories

    • Did Juicy really say that? I thought he said something like I don’t care what you do with your money. You can eat your money. That’s what I heard. With all that screaming and yelling it was hard to tell what he actually said.

      • That s what I heard and I hope it was cause it ws priceless. With her weight gain it seemed apropos. They were going back and forth about money and Jac said to Tre somehthing like, “Cause I don’t spend money the way you do!” and I thought he said, “yeah, you eat your money”…. like, that she spends a ton of money on food…going out to eat…a reference to how large she was. I’ll pay attention next time I watch.

        • @ Cherry This may clear up what Juicy meant, I found this on a word reference board:
          The idea I’m trying to convey here, is the fact that some people, borrow some money from you, or get a certain amount of it from you with the promise of a good investment along with a huge profit. but after a while it turns out that they fooled you and disappeared with your money.
          In this case, Persian people say “He ate your money”

  17. I feel like I need to seek out counseling after hearing Kathy discuss her alarm clock on national television. If there’s one thing Kathy’s kids do not need to hear about is their father’s boner. To think, Richie made some comments about not wanting people to know they (his family) was related to the Giudices…after hearing about his member, I would be embarassed to know him. GROSS.

      • Ana I really really have to remember to make sure I have 1) peed and 2) am not drinking anything before I read your comments..lmao. Your comments always make me smile, thanks, I really needed it today!

      • @ Ana I am in pain, literal -pain- from laughing. You would so fit in on our Taboo and Tequila nights. OM gosh, that killed me…tears…

      • @ ana…..omg….couldn’t breathe after reading this!!! You are freakin hilarious!!! That belongs embroidered on a pillow in the Bravo Store :-)

    • They’re those gross parents that don’t know they are embarrassing and inappropriate. It’s weird just weird :-|

      • And prolly why Victoria and Joseph couldn’t come up with a handful of friends whose parents would even allow them to attend a cookout at the Wakilie household. Um…bikini clad teenagers at a Waklie pool party. Would be a big ole negatory from this momma bear.

    • What unattractive people need to realize is that only good looking people can talk about sex and get away with it. When unattractive people talk about sex, it makes everyone want to throw up. Hear that Richie and Kathy?!

        • @Cherry

          To your point: A grandfather was talking to his grandson the night before his wedding about the frequency of martial relations which he should expect through out his marriage.

          The grandfather goes on to explain that at the honeymoon stage of marriage it’s all so new and exciting you make-love every chance you can in every room- every way! OH! Grandfather recalls, what a lovely exciting time!

          Then grandfather goes on to say things change when the children start to arrive and the change is not horrible, it’s just…different. The passion and the love are there but you both understand that time is prioritized differently. The grandfather warns that you still need to make time for each other, knowing that the strength of the family relies on nurturing the relationship that your family started from, your romance. Grandfather warns his grandson that it is imperative he always romance his wife.

          Then grandfather explains that when the children grow up and go to pursue their lives separate from the nest the romance kick starts and you discover each other in an all new light! The parts don’t work like they use to, or as often, but when they do…! You realize how blessed you are to have your best friend and lover all rolled up in one and are thankful to God that he lead you to the right person to raise a family with and enjoy the journey to old age together!

          The grandfather then takes an exceptionally long pause…

          The grandson, who has been hanging on every word of his grandfather’s, cannot help himself and just blurts out the question “What about now? Hasn’t it been decades since you and grand-mom were empty-nesters; have things changed at all since then?

          Yes, yes. Things have changed. We mainly have oral sex now. I go to my room and grand-mom goes to her room and she yells “F^ck y@u” and I yell “F^ck y@u, too” and we go to sleep.

      • @Hersandra Lmao! It is a little easier to take if they’re attractive but, I’m still so sick of the sex talk!!! PLEASE!!!! I don’t care what you do in the bedroom, I swear!!!! Cross my heart! Teresa, you too, a little subtlety, please? I implore you!!!

        • and just why do all these housewives think we care?? even lisa made the statement “i’ve already had one” in reply to some lipgloss or something. ewwww!! I don’t want to know that EVER! about anyone. No one knows anything about my sex life….past or present except the person involved. I’m not getting all the revelations about what ppl do. Do you think it might have something to do with the quest to stay young and that letting others know you’re having sex in graphic detail somehow cements the idea that they are young and virile? If anything should remain private sex is numero uno on my list.

          • @ Cherry Bingo! Though, I must say, Lisa V is probably speaking the truth when she claims she and Ken are probably getting busy on birthdays and holidays,people get old! Fact of life, get over it! Embrace it! My hubbs and I aren’t hanging off chandeliers anymore but damn, do we laugh together and talk, really talk. And we cuddle, lots of cuddling! We still need that connection, no need to exchange poison Not that sex isn’t a beautiful and awesome part of marriage or a long term committed relationship it’s primary reason is to procreate and when you are too old to anymore things slow down, naturally. Because they should. That is life. End of story. When we get older we tend to invest our very limited energy in relationships with our grandchildren, our children and our friends, who have already started leaving us and we’re only in our late 40s and mid 50s – not wondering when we are going to have our next orgasm.

  18. What’s with all this “own it” shit?

    I’m sorry but, just because you are an ass but admit that you’re an ass and follow it with “but, I own it” does not legitimize being an ass!!!!

    If I never hear that idiom again, I will consider myself a very lucky person. Stupid, horrid phrase!

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