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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Eighteen… “All’s Well That Doesn’t End Well”

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP

Season Five, Episode Eighteen… “All’s Well That Doesn’t End Well”

by Sandi Duffy

I feel like New York just got started while New Jersey went on and on forever.  This season of New York would have been a snooze fest if it hadn’t been for the St. Barth’s trip.  I said it before and I’ll say it again.  St. Barth’s looked like a lot of fun until that Suckubus, Aviva arrived.

The opening of this episode explains that odd exchange between Mario and Carole last week.  Carole is having some sort of ping pong tournament and Mario created the trophies for it.

The women all throw Ramona under the bus for having Vile George removed from her charity event.  Am I the only one who thinks George was out of line?  WTH is wrong with Heather, Carole and Luann?  George then has the balls to complain about Ramona to Mario.  Does George really think that Mario is going to side with him?  I think my previous theory is correct.  I think George is senile…and I don’t believe all these 20-something girls he dates truly exist.

We discover that Aviva sucks at ping pong.  Why am I not surprised.

It’s really cute that Mario and his daughter play as a team.  At the end Avery and Heather play each other for the championship.  Heather wins.  Heather’s husband is cute.  Why am I just noticing this?  Aviva tries to drag Heather’s husband into the drama and he’s having none of it.  I think I love this man.  LET IT GO, AVIVA.  HEATHER’S HUSBAND ISN’T GOING TO TAKE A SIDE!  Why is Aviva so obsessed with Ramona?

Heather very nicely tells Aviva to STFU. That’s why Heather and Ramona don’t get along.  Heather says the same things Ramona does, only in a much nicer way. She actually thinks it through before she opens her mouth, whereas Ramona just says what comes to mind with no filter.

Ugh!  We are back to Sonja’s toaster oven.  I am so over the toaster oven.  Boooooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg!  Sonja is counting on this toaster oven to save her financially.  Um, I hate to break it to Sonja, but she might be better off buying a lottery ticket.

Carole is still comparing writing her book to giving birth.  I know this offends a lot of people, but I had 2 planned C-sections, so having babies was no big deal for me.

Aviva and her leg show up to model for Heather’s charity.  Aviva is so scared to be in the show.  Aviva is scared of her own shadow, so I’m not surprised.  Holy hell, Aviva, her one leg and her anorexic body are going to be wearing underwear.  I guess I’m slow, because I didn’t really catch that when she asked her to walk.  I thought she’d be in actual clothes.  I don’t think anyone wants to see Aviva half naked.

Oh, I need to bleach my eyes.  Aviva is so anorexic, I don’t even notice her fake leg.

You know, Heather had a really sick child and until she worked on this charity event, we heard about it once, when she told Ramona.  Aviva needs to take a cue from Heather.

Aviva tries to change what she is going to wear in the show and Heather tells her no way.  I like Heather;  She has balls.

Aviva claims she didn’t realize there was going to be 500 people at the event.  That’s because there were only about 10 at her event.

Sonja shows up wearing another one of those stupid headbands.  I used to wear those in 1982 when I went to the roller rink on Saturdays.  Hey Sonja, 1982 called.  It wants its headband back.

Ramona starts harassing the photographer who did Sonja’s toaster oven shoot.  OK, Ramona is really annoying.  I go back and forth on her, but I’ve finally reached the conclusion that she’s annoying.

Oh holy hell, Aviva took off the jacket that Heather wanted her to wear.  What an f-ing bitch.  I hope Heather goes after her, good.  Damn, Heather isn’t going to say anything.  That’s why Aviva gets away with shit.  No one calls her on it.

Sonja and Ramona are harassing Heather about that stupid toaster oven. So wrong.  Heather calls Sonja out about it, but doesn’t call out Aviva?  WTH?  Sonja deserves it, but so does Aviva.

Heather’s husband, whose name I don’t know, so I keep calling him Heather’s husband, shows up.  He seems like a really nice guy.  Not as nice as my Paul Nassif, though.

Carole is throwing a party for finishing her book.  Luann compliments Aviva on her runway debut.  You all know Luann is totally pissed that Aviva walked in Heather’s fashion show and not her.  Luann, has her annoying boy toy, David Schwimmer with her.

Heather is totally pissed that Ramona talked through her event.  Ramona apologizes and she actually seems sincere.  Aviva overhears Ramona talking about her and goes on the attack.  Ramona is right; Aviva actually does look possessed.  This woman is seriously mentally ill.  Aviva then starts yelling at Mario about Ramona.  Why do these people think that Mario is going to take their side against his wife’s.  Aviva tells Ramona not to be a drama queen.  That’s hilarious.  Pot, meet kettle.

Heather is so pissed at Ramona and Sonja, but isn’t pissed that Aviva changed what Heather wanted her to wear in the fashion show.  I don’t get it.

Aviva attempts to throw Ramona out of Carole’s party.  Carole has the nerve to tell Ramona she needs to apologize for having George thrown out.  Carole is really pissing me off. Before Ramona had security get him out, she asked him to leave herself and he wouldn’t.  I’m still going with he’s senile.  I think Aviva is senile, too.

I can’t believe Joel Schumacher is on RHONY.

This finale was rather anticlimactic.  I really hope Aviva isn’t back next season.

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36 comments on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP: Season Five, Episode Eighteen… “All’s Well That Doesn’t End Well”

  1. I hope the show is cancelled.Nothing but boring menopausal women trying to be cute and funny.The finale was awful.Fake acting and fights over rehashed crap.Done with NY!!!!Carole’s book birthing was a joke just like her.She is 420 friendly and boring.A pothead.Timing of book was a joke like her. PTsucks as usual.Not a good combination of forced together women.

  2. I didn’t watch tonight’s ep. Sandi’s recaps are way more entertaining. I just can’t anymore with PT. I needed a PT vaca and Carole done worked my last nerve last week.

  3. OMg great recap. I still can’t understand why wimpy carol doesn’t “man up” and stand up to aviva. Clearly she knows there is something truly wrong with pt and daddy. And holler heather, WTF? Why can’t she out lumann about the pirate?

  4. Yeah worst season finale ever. I think that shah show had more episodes. Oiy. Andy needs to make changes big time. Looking forward to bhhws. The commercial looks so Kool and classy.

  5. Meh…I’d rather watch women you love to hate,rather than women who bore me. I used to enjoy watching Sonja, now she’s just gross. Ramona gets more annoying and ridicules every season. PT…no words to describe. Boring season.

  6. What I dislike about Aviva being on the show is that she makes it impossible for the rest of the cast to interact and let things slide. She is constantly forcing everyone to pick sides (her side). I’d like to see something other than her ranting and raving to everyone. I think the show would be much better minus her next season.

  7. That b***ch Aviva is such a hypocrite. In her opening scene she says she’s a ‘real New Yorker’….well how can you live in New York and be scared to go places on high floors? Has she ever gone to the doctor or had a job? She has to go to high floors to do anything at all!

    • ROFLMAO!!! Perfect!!!! I forgot about that — a “real” new yorker who can’t go up in a sky scraper!! that sums up the fakest and biggest hypocrite to ever “grace” the housewives shows!! don’t drink!! don’t dance on tables you white trash!! but hey — meet someone at a dinner table and 5 minutes later ask if you can give them their first squirting…… and hey — go to a charity for abused women and hit on someone — and then say the only reason to ever throw out an 80 yr old man from an abused women’s fundraiser is if he rapes someone!!!????????? WTF is WRONG with PT?????? PLEASE BRAVO FIRE HER!!!!!!!!!!

      • Uh, I’m a real NYer (and up until last year a Manhattanite at that) and haven’t been above the 12th floor of anything in probably over 10 years at least. Not all of NYC is 100 story buildings you know.

        Not that I’m defending Aviva or anything. She definitely has some marbles loose. I think Reid is a cutie pie though, and everyone seems to like Harry. So.. there’s gotta be SOMETHING likable about her right?

  8. Though I like Lu, I’m glad someone else saw she wasn’t happy Heather asked PT to be in the show. Lu is prettier any day of the week. I don’t get how anyone sides with PT. She could’ve ignored Ramona at “good friend” Carole’s party, but made it about her and how “evil” Ramona tossed her “80 year old father” from an event he shouldn’t have attended. Old perv dragged tail leaving and he did harass-not hit-Ramona. A nice man leaves when asked. George is not a nice man. I don’t think any housewife has made me as ill as PT. She’s just nasty. Maybe Carole and Heather are nice to Aviva because they know she’s crazy would go out of her way to make their lives hell? It’s a matter of time-if these women return-that we’ll see Aviva and Lu with issues.

  9. Loved the blog, and I found George way out of line too. Ramona was right, he wasn’t coming from a good place and I wanted to deck him myself. I would have been tempted to file simple assault charges on him for being such a dick and a cocky one at that. Apparently, his whole personality is wrapped up in his flagging libido. Bravo, please make George go away. Pleeeaaazzzeee.

    Course that little apple dumpling, Aviva, didn’t fall far from the tree…she has serious Mom issues and takes it out on Ramona and Sonja. Bravo, please make Aviva go away. Pleeeaaazzzeee.

    • A part of me feels like I can’t believe someone would insult an older man like that.

      And then the other part of me reminds myself what a self-righteous pig Aviva’s dad can be. Charming? Maybe. But I think that wears thin quickly.

  10. Ok…first of all…the fact that tonight show was a finale shocked me. I really had no idea. Second of all…. two reunions going on at the same time? WTF? This show should have been on a little longer. Although i cannot take aviva any longer. Like yesterday rhonj reunion, i was cursing at the tv. For tonights show, i was telling aviva to shut the front door alreadY!!!!!!!!! God woman, please disappear already, we will NOT miss you.Sandis recaps are always the best, I look forward to it each time :) Im watching the show now and i havent seen the part where vivs takes the jacket off. What a biotch.

    • well, people, everyone who’s want Adiva gone needs to tweet, email, facebook Mandy Cohen and tell him you won’t watch next season if she’s still on. It’s one thing to have drama. But, quite another to have someone who has so many psychological issues the viewers are turned off.

  11. Sandi, I normally LOVE your writings and recaps, but feel you were a bit off with this one. Did ya miss some sleep or something? That does it to me every time. ;)

    I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed Carole. And Heather does have balls! So true. Ramona was just a buzz kill (despite being buzzed) in every scene she entered. Hilarious. Sonja clearly is trying to remain someone that she clearly no longer is. Hard to watch! LuAnn woulda stood out on that skinny minny size zero showdown on the runway. Those women were tiny! Aviva actually pulled it off I must say. Not easy in underwear (Cynthia booty flashbacks) no matter the age.

  12. Love your recaps. Have´nt watched the episode yet, but doubt I really need to after reading this. Although I want to see PT make a fool of herself and crack up yet again.

  13. ok i just watched the entire episode. I retract my comments earlier about wanting this season to be longer i cannot stand the sight of aviva, the voice of aviva and avivas leg!!!!!!!!!!!! What an annoying ladyyy omg….REally vivs, go scratch. You are SO wrong on SO many levels…. you send your father to do YOUR dirty work, who CARES that your daddy brought checks….he was uninvited and came unannounced, making a fool of himself by DEMANDING ramona gives her an apology. And really, all these people agreeing with you really doesnt help your crazy behavior. Ramona is RIGHT to call you out on your bullshit and so is ramona, you do not deserve any special treatment. The portrayal of your character on this series was unfavorable. You were better off not even doing the show.
    You will not be missed. You or your nastiness!

  14. Aviva, did you even watch the show we all saw? I understand he is your father and nobody likes to find fault with their fathers, but come on. He was totally out of line. A gentleman never demands an apology. A gentleman is confident in his convictions enough to let it go. His behavior was tasteless, classless, and deserving of much more than Ramona gave him. Hes lucky he didnt do that at a charity event of mine.

  15. On second thought…..maybe this was one of those Bravo made me do it things. Bravo made George do that? Could anyone really be that tacky? Im leaning towards that now. George is the new Melissa.

  16. Watching N.J was just unpleasant, even if I was no longer friends with someone I would not betray their confidences or attack them or spend all my time thinking of them , I did not like the five to one attacking and agree with what many of you are saying. New York to me was a nice break, and at the reunion it looks like Sonja is very articulate and Aviva cannot defend herself at all, I loved seeing Sonja this way, and actually started to like LuAnn on the reunion spot and agree that Carole says snippy things. I want to be entertained not hear some crazy psycho threaten to cut someone’s tongue out and say send me to jail, By the way I believe when you threaten bodily harm like that you do end up in jail. Any threat to kill someone or harm them is taken seriously by law enforcement. I’ve got real problems, I just had major surgery and I have an elderly mother to take care of. I could not believe Kathy calling Teresa’s mom a liar and her dad a coward, what happened to respect for your elders? I don’t mind some catcalling but N.J is sick and not entertaining. Also I’m so sick of all the posturing, put these people in the real world and let them make threats to people who would put them down so fast, all this I’m so tough I’ll hurt you, yeah right, there are people who will hurt you and they won’t yell or give you a warning, it’s the quiet ones that will shut up all that posturing, and what grown women wants to rumble? Society is violent enough, shootings in theaters, etc. for God’s sake. (do something like Ramona to stop the violence against women) And the “say it to my face is so old and juvenile”, are they teenagers? Like Kathy Griffin says no, I’d rather talk about you when you leave the room, its more freeing for me, (ha!) My God, again if I had a problem with someone I would let them know in a firm classy way that they are only hurting themselves not me or my reputation by perpetuating gossip, “Lies only hurt the people that tell them” I could not watch Andy’s after show where the “model” and actress just sucked up to him and that kid from Corpus Christie, Your gay, we get it! I turned it off and i also did not watch on N.J about Caroline, kathy, etc., I just fast forwarded through it. Like I said I have real problems, so it is draining to watch NJ and I’m looking for other new shows, not reality to entertain me although I may watch the other housewives, no more blood fest of N.J. Do you guys think Bravo reads our posts, about how fed up we all are? Loved Sandi’s recap!

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