REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK RECAP
Season Five, Episode Seventeen… “Don’t Make Room For Daddy”
by Sandi Duffy
As this episode of RHONY starts, I am hoping St. Barthsgate is over, but that is too much to wish for. Honestly, I thought that trip looked like a blast…until Aviva showed up. Sure, some of the ladies drank too much and brought men home, but who cares? Aviva sucked the fun right out of that trip and continues to suck the fun out of everything she comes into contact with.
Gross George is back and he wants Aviva to meet his new 20-something girlfriend who looks like Aviva except she’s black. It really hits home that Aviva is such a judgmental bitch when she has that pig of a father. My skin is officially crawling as George looks for “aphrodisiacs” at “House of Health.” George then tells Aviva that he’d like to have a go at Carole. Run for the hills, Carole!
Sonja comes home from meeting with her ex over her settlement and looks defeated. I feel badly for Sonja. She was married to a Morgan for hell’s sake and this bastard can’t give her the divorce settlement? I had once thought that Sonja missed the lifestyle, but I think she still really cares for the old fart. Sonja is going to lose her home. Wouldn’t this a–hole want his daughter to stay in her home?
Ramona calls, and say what you want about her, she’s a good friend to Sonja. Sonja admits that she had a fantasy about them reconciling and I feel even worse for her.
Heather is doing a charity fashion show to support organ transplants because her son received a life-saving liver transplant. Aviva and Luann show up to help her. I’m not sure why Heather picked the two most useless housewives to help her. Heather wants Aviva to walk in the show. Great, so we get to hear how Aviva is walking in the show even though SHE ONLY HAS ONE LEG! Aviva takes advantage of every opportunity to bring that up. She TTCs, who would ask a 41-year-old amputee to walk in a fashion show? That doesn’t shock me. I’m wondering who would ask a 41-year-old woman with bad hair and a major overbite to walk in a fashion show?
Sonja invited Luann over for support. Luann? Really? Why didn’t she invite her BFF, Ramona? Sonja is taking down the portrait of her ex-husband, finally. Luann claims she knows how hard it is for Sonja to let go because it was hard for her to let go. Luann was screwing around on the Count when they were still married and was shacked up with David Schwimmer about 15 minutes after her divorce. What the hell does she know?
On a side note–that portrait of Sonja is hideous. She looks a lot better in person than in that portrait.
Aviva and Ramona meet for a sit down. Apparently, Ramona called Aviva’s ex, Harry, asking a lot of questions about Aviva. I can guess what those questions were. The same ones I would ask. Did Aviva really go to law school? Is she under psychiatric care? Is it true her husband is a scam artist? Ramona doesn’t even take her sun glasses off. Ramona tells Aviva that she ruined the trip and is a buzz kill. I have to agree with Ramona on this one. Aviva says she is disgusted that Ramona and Sonja were drunk the whole time and it’s disgusting behavior. This, from the woman whose father discussed squirting orgasms in mixed company. Why doesn’t Ramona bring that up? BRING THAT UP, RAMONA!
I have to admit, that if I were on a girls trip, I’d be disgusted if everyone wasn’t drunk the whole time. One of my friends is a bit of a lightweight, so she orders coffee drinks just to keep up. Now that’s real friendship.
It took a while, but Aviva managed to bring up her leg again. Well, at least she didn’t open up with it. Aviva’s parting shot is, “At least one of us will grow old gracefully.” Yes Aviva. You are 41 and Ramona is 56 and you look MUCH older than Ramona, so you are right…I just don’t think it’s the answer you want.
Remember when Camille Grammar was the most hated housewife? Well, Camille didn’t even need to do another season of Beverly Hill to save her reputation. She just needed to wait until Aviva Drescher showed up in New York to wrench that title away from her.
Ramona is at a domestic abuse charity event. Ramona is serving some of her swill. She tells Carole that she invited Aviva to this event before everything went badly. Aviva’s father actually has the nerve to show up at the event. I think he came because the horny old bastard is after Carole. Luann tries to advise Pervy George that this isn’t a good time to talk to Ramona. Aviva TTCs that she couldn’t go because the event was on the 90th floor of a building and she’s afraid of heights.
I HAVE OFFICIALLY HAD IT WITH AVIVA AND HER ONE LEG AND HER PHOBIAS.
Pervy George gets into it with Ramona and tells Ramona she owes Aviva an apology. Not the time or place, Pervo! This is Ramona’s event. Back the f— off! Ramona hands him back the check and requests that he leave. George still doesn’t stop and then goes after Sonja and tells her she is wrong.
George still doesn’t leave and starts talking to Heather and Carole. Pervo asks Carole out to dinner. Carole blows him off, while Ramona gets security to escort George out. Now I know why Aviva is so delusional. Her gross, disgusting, pervy father is even more delusional.
I have said that I don’t want the Manzos to leave RHONJ because I spend half my recaps ripping on them. I realize I also spend a lot of my recaps ripping on Aviva, but I really do want her gone from this show. It’s not even fun ripping on her and her pervy father. They both make my skin crawl and I’m with Ramona. They give me diarrhea. Listen to me, I’m siding with Ramona because Aviva and George are so vile. That’s what I’ve been reduced to. I’d take Jill Zarin and Cray Cray Kelly over this vile, pathetic woman. Hell, I’d take Caroline Manzo joining the New York cast.
Back to the show. Could George possibly be senile and that’s why he won’t leave the event? Pervo has the nerve to call Ramona Trailer Turd. WHY WON’T ANYONE ADDRESS WHAT A DIGUSTING PERVERT HE IS…REMEMBER “SQUIRTING ORGASMS“, PEOPLE?
Next week looks like fallout from kicking George’s ass out of Ramona’s charity event and once again Heather has to tell Aviva to STFU already.